


Must Love Dogs

by beforethedawn, ConstructFairytales, Destinyawakened



Series: Buddhist and the Bear [1]
Category: Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, The Big C (TV)
Genre: #EatTheRare, Alternate Universe, BearDogs, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Lee - Freeform, Cancer, Car Sex, Dogs, Drinking, Drunk Sex, First Fuck, First Kiss, First Times, Flirting, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heartache, Heartbreak, Karma - Freeform, Lee owns a dog wash, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Murder, Rimming, Romance, Smut, So much smut, The Mob, True Love, Twins, Weed, believing in fate, dog wash, doting, hannigram tagged since it's technically a hannigram au rarepair, medical references, medicated brownies, slow burn? what slow burn?, special brownies, that's the only difference, top!nigel, wine bar, wine bars, winodogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-15 10:20:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 87,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8052574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforethedawn/pseuds/beforethedawn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstructFairytales/pseuds/ConstructFairytales, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destinyawakened/pseuds/Destinyawakened
Summary: Lee runs a dog wash. It's just as it sounds. Nigel comes into ownership of a dog that just so happens to need a good washing. Fate has a tricky way of playing it's hand to them both.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1) No beta, edited by us to the best we can.  
> 2)We're giving this a test run, please let know how you like this?

 

Lee liked going for runs, no matter how cold it was out. Crisp morning air in his lungs felt like he was able to breathe again. Lee liked wine, any varietal, from any region so long as it wasn't bought cheap from a grocery store-- he had standards. Lee liked dogs, all sorts, but he didn't own one, he could never do that to the poor animal when his time came. And time was something precious to Lee, all too aware of how much he didn't actually have.

Wrapped up in running jacket and track pants, Lee jogged to the small shop he opened as a distraction to himself more than anything. He groomed dogs, never anything fancy, just a nice wash, fur dry, clipped claws. The basics. Well, sometimes bows.

Unlocking the shop, he slipped in and locked it back up. He changed in the back, into jeans, a fitted long sleeve thermal, and the apron where he kept all his little gadgets. He opened the store, leaving the door closed and flipped the sign over in the window. He didn't get many walk ins, and he had no appointments booked for the day, so Lee busied himself cleaning the place thoroughly, one more time, upbeat music playing in the background.

A big, dark, muscle car pulled up outside the shop, engine rumbling loudly before it was cut. The driver got out, wearing sunglasses, a leather jacket over a shirt decorated with dogs, and a pair of worn, fitted jeans with boots. He sauntered to the passenger side and opened the door, then bent over to try and retrieve something from the back seat, which seemed to take a long time. “Haide, câine, haide! Să mergem!” he muttered as he stayed bent over, presenting Lee’s shop with the world’s most splendid view of his denim-covered ass.

Leaning against the countertop, Lee watched the man struggle with what had to be a dog, there was no other reason for this man to be here, even if Lee wouldn’t mind if he were there for him. He laughed at himself, and went to the door, opening it up, then held it with his foot. “Did you need help?”

The man straightened, finally, with what looked like a massive, but very, very thin german shepherd trembling in his arms. “Yeah, keep the door open,” he said, and carried the dog inside after shutting the car door with a well-placed kick. The dog buried its face against the man’s tattooed neck.

Lee held the door, using his whole frame, watching the man with a look of hunger in his eyes he couldn’t control. Lee had a type, and he was fairly certain under that silly shirt the man was loaded with chest hair. “Is he sick? It’s doesn’t matter, of course…” Lee would still wash the dog, help him the most he could.

“I dunno,” the man said with a thick accent, and put the dog down on a table, then pushed his shades up, on top of his ashy hair, keeping it back except for a single strand that fell into amber brown eyes. “I found him like this, he needs a fucking bath.” The dog had a rope around his neck, and his fur was matted all over, dirty and obviously neglected.

Lee pulled on gloves, took a brush out of his apron, and started to sort through the dog’s fur. “You just found him and brought him to be groomed? I’m not a vet, fair warning,” Lee explained but smiled up at the stranger.

The man shrugged his wide shoulders and watched Lee brush the dog, then looked at Lee himself for the first time. “Never had a fucking dog before, what do Americans do with them like this anyway?”

“Take them to a vet to be looked over. Unless you don’t plan to keep him, and then a shelter will take him,” Lee said, picking fleas off the dog, he took some scissors to the rope and snapped it off. Then, he went to start water in the tub in the back, nice and warm. “He’ll need flea dip, and the medication for fleas and ticks to keep them from coming back.”

“What the fuck are ticks?” Nigel demanded as the dog buried his head against Nigel’s chest, shaking from head to toe. Nigel sighed, and pet the dog, murmuring to him in Romanian, softly. “Isn’t a tick some kind of … twitch? You know, nervous assholes playing poker for the first time and all that?”

Lee raised his brows but laughed. “It’s a small insect. Found in tall grass, usually when people go hiking. They latch onto dogs easily, and bury into the their skin.” Lee brushed some of the dog’s fur, feeling around and then showed Nigel a little black spot that was a tick buried into the fur. “Here.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ,” Nigel muttered as he squinted at the insect as it sucked blood out of the dog, he leaned down close, almost over Lee and pulled the tick out with his fingers, disgusted, then tossed it in a trash can, swearing in Romanian. Nigel smelled like smoke, something spicy, and a hint of coffee under it all, there was something else there, something that smelled a little like a fire that was hard to place.

Lee watched Nigel, and couldn’t help but get a big wiff of him, biting the inside of his lip not to say something cheeky. “There’s a few, but the bath I’m about to put him in should get rid of them.” The dog didn’t seem to want to leave Nigel’s side, however. “You might need to help me.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Nigel said, and crouched to lift the dog with both arms again, which made the skinny dog heave a heavy, but relieved sigh, only relaxed when Nigel was holding him. “Where am I putting him?” Nigel asked, looking around. He was obviously well-built and strong, under the leather jacket and shirt, his posture perfect as he lifted the dog that he assumed was male.

Lee stared for a moment and then walked them to the giant tub that was filling with nice warm water. He dropped the flea dip into the water and swished it around. “Just in here.”

Nigel nodded, and brought the dog to the bath, then whispered to him in Romanian as he tried to get the dog to sit in the bath, and finally just lowered him in. “There you go, now my fucking jacket’s wet, you mutt,” he sighed, but there was no roughness in his voice, just exasperation as the dog looked up at him, shivering again. Nigel took his jacket off, and tossed it into a chair in the corner.

Lee pulled on bigger gloves that went to his elbows, rolling his sleeves up with it, and turned the nozzle on so that warm water sprayed out evenly over the dog as he rubbed some mild shampoo into his fur to help get the fleas out. “He trusts you a lot.”

“Don’t fucking know why,” Nigel muttered, but kept his hand close to the dog so that he stayed calm. “He’s known me all of twenty fucking minutes, and I threw him in the back of my car.” He laughed, darkly. “People don’t usually trust me after that…”

“Dogs know a good soul when they meet one,” Lee offered lightly, and looked up at Nigel, who was wider and taller than he was, moreso now that Lee had started a new round of treatments. “You have a rough exterior, but a beautiful aura.”

Nigel looked over and down at Lee, eyebrows raised, and just laughed, a full, loud laugh at the compliment. “A fucking aura? Are you a psychic or some shit?”

Lee just laughed with him. “No. I do a little meditation, that’s about it. But, I can see you.” Lee usually had a pretty decent read on people, and this man projected a large, intimidating front, and the confidence of a bull, but he had a tender heart under it all, and it was clear, maybe, that heart had been shattered no too long ago with the way he held his defenses.

Nigel looked amused as he looked down at Lee’s eyes.. “People aren’t supposed to see me. It’s best that way, you know?” he asked, with a quirk of his sandy eyebrow, reluctantly intrigued.

“Thought so,” Lee hummed as he rinsed the dog, then reached in and pulled the plug, watching all the dead flea and ticks that died floating down the drain. He set the nozzle aside and worked in more shampoo, slowly. “There we go.” He started to massage the shampoo into the dog’s fur and skin.

Nigel watched Lee work on the dog, smirking at him as he stuffed his shades in his back pocket, then raked a calloused hand through his hair. “So what’s your fucking name anyway, psychic?”

Lee glanced up from being bent over the dog to get his hind legs. “Lee. Lee Fallon. I’d shake your hand but…”

Nigel looked at Lee’s hand, covered in a rubber glove, dirt, and dead bugs. He nodded that he understood. “Nigel,” he said, and his eyes flickered over Lee’s build. He was … cute.

“Nigel,” Lee repeated back, testing the way it sounded rolling out of his mouth. “You’re… Russian? No… that’s not quite it, is it?” Lee squinted his eyes a little, taking Nigel once more. “I’m never going to guess…”

“Romanian,” Nigel said, with a little smirk on his wide, shapely lips. Christ, he was telling this guy too much, he needed to shut the fuck up. Romanian Nigels were not that common in America, and he was trying to keep his work under the radar. Work was booming, which was how he ended up finding the dog earlier today after he executed a dealer who didn’t make his payments. Fucking lowlife. Nigel had taken the dog out of his yard, and found Lee. He still had gunpowder on his hands, which gave him the strange, hard-to-place scent beneath the cigarettes, and coffee.

“Ah, I was close,” Lee said with a flirty wink up at Nigel. He took the warm water in the spray again and rinsed the dog off, who was no longer shaking, at least.

“Romania and Russia are completely fucking different countries,” Nigel said, trying not to laugh as Lee winked at him. What a forward little fucking tart… “That’s not exactly close, is it?”

Lee knew, of course, but he had been trying to get the other man to open up a bit, relax a little. “You’re right, they aren’t,” he admitted, but was still smiling about it, as though he’d gotten away with something.

“So where the fuck are you from, Lee?” Nigel asked, as he leaned one hip against the counter, and watched Lee’s shoulders move under his clingy shirt.

“New Orleans,” Lee answered, getting a towel for the now clean and mostly bug free dog. He started to dry him off warming him as he did.

“Mardi Gras town, yeah?” Nigel asked, and rubbed the dog’s head while Lee dried him off. The dog nudged Nigel’s palm, fragile and attached to him.

“Yup. Best party you’ll ever see,” Lee chuckled. “You’ve never partied until you’ve done it there,for Mardi Gras.” Lee got out a tiny hair dryer and started to dry the fur as he combed through it and pulled out more dead bugs from the dog’s fur. “You should name him.”

“I’m pretty fucking sure Bucharest’s just as wild as New Orleans,” Nigel muttered, with a dark smirk, “and maybe then some.” He looked at Lee, starting to notice the shape of his jaw, and the cute little slope of his nose. “Yeah? Name him what? What do people name dogs in America, anyway?”

“I’ll have to put Bucharest on my bucket list,” Lee mentioned with tilted brows up at Nigel. He combed the dog out, and he only got fluffier by the second. “Whatever you want. Dogs don’t mind what you call them, as long as you love them.”

“I don’t even know if I’m keeping him or not,” Nigel muttered, and looked down at the pitiful dog’s hopeful face, his own expression stern, but wavering at the big brown eyes. “I’ll take him to the fucking vet, I guess. Where is it?”

“There’s a great spot I always recommend, I’ll get you the address,” Lee said, and handed Nigel the comb. “Keep combing until you don’t see bugs in the teeth anymore.”

Nigel looked at the comb, then back at Lee, definitely not the sort of man people expected to comb a dog, but Lee had a strange, easy sort of confidence to him that Nigel had to like. He shrugged his wide shoulders, and began to work the comb through the dog’s now much cleaner fur, slowly, trying not to yank matted clumps of hair out as he worked. 

“Once he’s healthy, you can bring him back and we’ll cut out some of the matts in his fur,” Lee said, pulling up the address, he wrote it down on a piece of paper, and then wrote something else on the back of one of his business cards. He strolled back to Nigel and handed him the address. “That’s for the vet.” He stuffed the business card with his cell number on it into Nigel’s shirt pocket. ”And this is if you’re interested.”

Nigel arched an eyebrow at the move, and looked Lee over as he pulled the card with his number out, looked at it, and slid it into his back pocket, instead with a chuckle. “Gotta admire the balls on you,” he murmured. Something about Lee set Nigel at ease, like a good blunt. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

“You call me, and maybe I’ll let you,” Lee retorted lightly, flirty, and then reached for the towel again and continued to make sure the dog was dry before letting him back out into the cold.

Nigel laughed at that, out loud, and much to his surprise, felt the warmth of a flush creeping up his neck. “You don’t give a shit what people think about you, do you?” He asked, with an admiring tone, a little closer to Lee.

The brunet shrugged his slim shoulders, head cocked just  _ so _ . “Why should I? I am who I am, I’m not going to change for anyone.”

“How about we skip the phone call? When are you off?” Nigel asked, boldly, never one to play coy.

“Whenever I want to be,” Lee replied with a lit up grin that made his blue eyes brighter. “I own the place.”

“I’ll come by around five, and take you out for dinner, Lee from New Orleans,” Nigel smirked. The damn glint in Lee’s eyes did something to Nigel’s heart that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

“Dinner?” Lee’s smile broadened. “Be still my heart.” He clutched his chest. “Who knew Romanians were so romantic?”

Nigel smirked at that, and patted Lee’s hand where it sat over his heart. “You have no  _ fucking  _ idea,” he purred, staring into Lee’s eyes for a long moment before he turned to pick up the dog, and carried him again. “How much do I owe you for the wash?”

Lee’s eyes darkened as his pupils grew larger and it was all he could do not to grab after Nigel and  _ make _ him stay. “I’ll tell you after dinner.”   
Nigel chuckled at that, smiling at Lee over the dog’s head. “Fair enough. Five o’clock, Lee.” Nigel winked before he carried the dog back to his car, set him in the front passenger seat, and got in the driver’s side to find the vet on the card.


	2. Chapter 2

The day passed by slowly, Lee had a few other customers and their pets, and at five he closed things up and gathered his jogging stuff from the back and put it into his backpack, since he wouldn’t be jogging back home tonight. With any luck, he’d be exercising another way much later on.

Lee locked up and set the alarm.

The muscle car from earlier pulled up outside of the shop, and Nigel stepped out to smirk at Lee, then looked at a watch on his wrist. “You’re a punctual son-of-a-bitch,” he muttered, and walked over to Lee, dressed in dark slacks, a dark dress shirt open at the throat, and a charcoal grey suit jacket thrown over it all. 

Lee let his gaze linger over how nicely Nigel was dressed now, and felt a little under dressed. He licked the back of his teeth. “You didn’t tell me I needed to change,” he teased,  reaching out to tug on the nice fabric of Nigel’s shirt, noticing, as he suspected, a small patch of hair sticking out over the top button.

Nigel licked his lips and smirked at Lee, one hand against Lee’s solid waist. “I thought you said you weren’t gonna fucking change for anybody, what’s the point in asking?” Nigel teased, and opened the passenger side door for Lee. “I can drive you home if you want, you can toss something on, they’ll hold the table.”

“It’s unfortunate that you’re seeing me in my best,” Lee explained with a little laugh, “I have nothing else to impress you with.” Lee didn’t wear fancy clothes, his nicest article of clothing was a sweater that a friend once told him made him look like a grandpa. That didn’t stop him from wearing it.

Nigel looked Lee over as he held the door, and shook his head. “You’ve got plenty to impress me with, gorgeous. Hungry?”

“Starved,” Lee stated, getting in and buckling into the seat. He then admired the car and how it perfectly represented the mighty beast of a man it belonged to.

“Good. You’re not a fucking vegetarian, are you?” Nigel asked as he shifted the car into gear and peeled down the road, driving with the same commanding confidence with which he did everything.

“Life is too short not to enjoy animal products,” Lee insisted with a grin, watching the way Nigel moved, how his thighs flexed when he shifted. God help him if he made it through dinner.

“Good,” Nigel said with a nod of his head, and took a sharp corner with a relaxed grin on his face, headed to the pier. “Oh. The dog’s a girl, by the way.”

“Oh,” Lee laughed, resting his head in his hand as he leaned on the door. “I should have checked. I was admittedly very distracted by the handsome bear that walked in with her.”

Nigel raised his eyebrow and looked up at Lee as he stopped at a light. “Bear? Did you just fucking call me a bear?”

“I did. That’s what you are,” Lee stated, and reached over to run a hand up Nigel’s thigh. “You’re a little more refined than most, but you’re close enough.” God he was more than close enough.

“What the fuck is a bear?” Nigel asked with a sigh as he spread his legs at Lee’s touch, the pulse in his neck throbbing a little harder at the sensation of Lee’s hand. As far as he was concerned, the light could stay red forever.

“A big, hairy man,” Lee said, not wanting to assume Nigel was gay, but very clearly bisexual, and that worked too. “And am I wrong in assuming you are  _ very  _ hairy?”

Nigel laughed and started to drive again when the light turned green, his thigh flexing under Lee’s hand. He chuckled, and slipped a button undone on his shirt with one hand as he turned the corner, showing Lee a sliver of thickly hairy chest.

“You tease. We will never get to dinner if you keep that up,” Lee said, sliding his hand up Nigel’s side, under his arm to his chest, fingering the small patch of hair there. “I bet you’re a dominant beast in bed too.”

Nigel leaned back in his seat, and bit his lower lip as Lee teased him with his hand. It had been a fucking ridiculously long time since he’d had a man, and Lee was driving him out of his mind. “I’ve had no fucking complaints so far, I know what the fuck I like, and I go for it,” he said, with a look at Lee before he slammed on the brakes, and turned the car sharply into an alley, almost the way a stunt driver would. He undid Lee’s seatbelt after he put the car into park, and dragged Lee into his lap to kiss him hard, unable to wait for the sake of waiting. Nigel was a creature of impulses.

“So you do-” Lee started to say as he straddled the large Romanian and picked the buttons undone on his shirt, feeling out the array of hair across his chest, groaning against Nigel’s mouth. He kissed the other man harder, having felt the tension build and spike since the moment Nigel walked in.

Nigel gripped the back of Lee’s head with one hand, keeping him just there, right where he wanted him, and tilted his own head to twist their tongues together. His mouth was hot, and passionate, tasted just a little of smoke and a very faint shot of vodka. Nigel ran his free hand under the front of Lee’s shirt, against his flat stomach, over firm, warm muscle, and over a hairless chest. Words were useless, sometimes. He’d rather show Lee what he was like than talk about it.

A moan escaped Lee’s throat as he wound his tongue with Nigel’s and rutted every so gently down against his hips, unable to hide what Nigel did to him already, blood rushing to all the right spots. Lee had to admit, he loved a man in charge, willing to take from him what he wanted. He palmed down Nigel’s chest, over the formed muscle and down the trail of hair on his stomach.

Nigel reached back with one hand and pulled a lever that let the seat back to give them more room in the car with fogged windows to grope at each other like desperate teenagers. “I can’t stop thinking about what you’re gonna feel like,” Nigel hissed as he squeezed Lee’s ass, then gave it a little slap and undid his pants. “I  _ am _ a fucking romantic, Lee, but life is short. Dessert first…” he groaned, and palmed Lee through his underwear.

“Fuck-” Lee panted, and reached for his backpack he had thrown in the back. He had to be careful, his life was on a delicate edge right now, and the last thing he needed was an STD, not that he thought Nigel had any, but he couldn’t make that risk. He rifled through the bag and found a condom and lube and set them on the center console, and undid Nigel’s pants.

Nigel laughed again, fucking delighted by Lee all over, and kissed him hard on the mouth while he chuckled, which was … something he’d never done before, with anyone. No one made him  _ laugh _ , and want to fuck them senseless all at the same time. “Fucking boy-scout, always prepared?” He whispered roughly, and stared up at Lee, his pupils thick and black like he was utterly  _ high  _ on him.

“They kicked me out of boy-scouts,” Lee whispered back into Nigel’s mouth, licking every part he could as he lifted his hips and shimmied off his pants and underwear all at once, and reached down to stroke Nigel through his open trousers. “But I’m always prepared for  _ fun _ .”

Nigel smiled against Lee’s mouth and kissed him again, hungrily, grinding up against Lee’s hand. He didn’t bother with underwear, he never did. His cock was thick, and long, throbbing like a heartbeat in Lee’s palm, and already wet at the tip. “You are the best fucking thing in this goddamned country of yours,” Nigel whispered, meaning it as he stroked Lee with his big hand. 

Lee laughed a breathy chuckle as he thumbed the tip of Nigel’s cock, swirling the pre-come around it, and kissed the bear-ish Romanian again, long and hard. He reached for the lube and put it into Nigel’s other hand. “Slick me up, romancer.”

Nigel’s eyes simmered with lust, and he poured lube over his fingers, then kissed Lee’s neck, biting it as he slipped one finger, then another deep inside his body, rocking them into his hot, tight, grip with a moan. “Fuck … sweetest ass I’ve ever felt…”

“You’re just being sweet,” Lee countered in a husky tone as he held fast to Nigel’s shoulders, head canted to the side to get more of Nigel’s mouth on him. He ground back on Nigel’s fingers, wantonly.

“I never say anything just to be sweet,” Nigel gasped, and bit Lee’s neck a little harder, working his fingers deeper into him before he spread them, and bent them, rubbing his thick knuckles against Lee’s prostate.

“Good,” Lee breathed, panting now as his hips rolled with the motion of Nigel’s fingers, his cock pressed against the other man’s stomach. “Right there.”

“Yeah? There? You like that?” Nigel whispered breathlessly and then picked up the condom with his other hand, tore it open with his teeth and rolled it on while Lee writhed where he was spread over Nigel’s lap.

“Yeah, but I think it’s about to get better,” Lee said as he licked his lips and grabbed the lube to make sure the condom had enough and then gently took Nigel’s fingers out of him, and spread himself over his lap, rolling his ass down over Nigel’s cock. He took Nigel’s length in one easy stride, skin flushed and eyes blazing blue and black.

“Fuck-” Nigel swore as Lee sank down over him, hot and tight. His head fell back, exposing a long, tanned throat, with a pulse throbbing in it. His chest was already sweaty and heaving as he rocked his hips up, into Lee. Nigel lifted his head to stare at him, to watch Lee ride him as they fucked in the fogged up muscle car in the middle of the city while people passed on the sidewalk, unaware.

Lee wouldn’t care anyway. He’d done it in bathrooms before.

Palming down Nigel’s sweaty chest, Lee moaned, nothing quiet either, letting Nigel know the very girth of his cock inside of him was the most amazing thing he’d had in a long time. He circled his hips down and up again, riding and pleasuring himself on the big bear’s cock. 

Nigel slapped Lee’s ass again, hard, and stared as he hammered himself inside Lee, filling him every time Lee ground down over him, faster and faster until Nigel’s hips pistoned up, into Lee, so fast that his muscles burned and he could hardly speak, ashy hair falling in his eyes. It was so perfectly impulsive, so hot and needy that Nigel couldn’t help but feel his body squeeze tight, winding up under Lee as they fucked. 

Every bit of Lee that so often felt dead inside after treatments felt perfectly alive in that moment, where skin met skin, the slap only bringing more and more life to every movement he made. Lee used Nigel’s shoulders for leverage and started a quick, frantic, writhing up and down motion, pelting his prostate with the tip of his thick cock. Heat began to pool, and Lee’s muscle started to tense, squeezing tight around Nigel.

“Fuck, Lee-” Nigel gasped, barely able to say that much as he started to tense, cock throbbing as heat spread from the small of his back down his thighs, “gonna come.” The last word was lost as Nigel shouted, savage and loud, wordlessly, and came, buried deep inside Lee’s gorgeous, toned body. He held himself there, riding the wave of the orgasm that never seemed to end, breathless and awestruck.

The hard throb of Nigel’s cock was enough to bring Lee right over the edge shortly after, gripping his shoulders tightly as he panted against his mouth, unable to do much more than that. Finally, he stilled, panting, resting his forehead against Nigel’s. “If that’s dessert, I’d love to see what dinner’s like…” he chuckled, breathlessly.

Nigel laughed, again, and touched Lee’s cheek with his palm as they chuckled together and caught their breaths. “I’m fucking impulsive,” he whispered against Lee’s lips. “We might have dessert again after dinner, right?”

Lee nodded and licked a long kiss into Nigel’s mouth, growing fond of the gruff man the longer they spent time together. Finally, Lee gathered up his pants and crawled back to his side of the car and nodded toward the alley. “You should toss it,” he joked.

Nigel chuckled, and managed to pull his pants up most of the way, then stepped out to dispose of the condom, and did himself up, then got back in. “Promise to wash my hands at the restaurant before we eat,” he teased, and shifted into gear again as he rolled a window down and let the fog clear from the windshield.

Reaching over to fix up Nigel shirt for him, Lee smiled  at the large Romanian, quite pleased with himself. He didn’t always give second dates, or dinner after a good fucking, but Nigel was something else, and if nothing more, a fun time for a little while.

“Thanks, gorgeous,” Nigel smiled as Lee managed to touch his chest hair a little more as he began to drive. “Hairy enough for you?” he asked, headed toward the pier again, the wind from the open window cooling them both off.

“More than,” Lee answered, never letting his eyes leave Nigel as they drove.

“You haven’t even seen all of it,” Nigel teased, and caught a glimpse of Lee staring at him like he was addictive. Nigel reached his hand over and laid it on Lee’s thigh, warm and heavy.

“I intend to,” Lee said confidently, moving over just a little to get more of Nigel’s large hand over his runner’s thighs.

Nigel rubbed his palm over Lee’s jeans, his hand big enough that it almost covered all of Lee’s thigh. “You’re fucking built. What do you do?” he asked, and slowed down at the pier, near a very, very fancy restaurant built right onto the edge of the pier, so that it overlooked the water and the skyline of New York City beyond it. He parked the car, and stepped out as a Valet approached, then tipped the man generously, and walked with Lee toward the entrance.

Lee got out, leaving his bag in the car, and looked around, following Nigel. “I run,” he answered finally, with a grin up at Nigel. “That’s it. Aside from wrestling dogs all day.”

“Well, you’re fucking gorgeous,” Nigel said, and put his hand against the small of Lee’s back as they walked into the beautiful restaurant. Nigel just gave his first name to the hostess, who nodded, and guided them past a crowd of people waiting for a table to an intimate table on the edge of the restaurant in front of one of the enormous windows that opened to the sea air, and overlooked New York as the sun sank in the sky an inch at a time. “Thanks,” he said, and took his seat, stretching his legs as he looked out at the water, then at Lee.

“This... This is beautiful,” Lee said, able to take in all Nigel had done for their dinner tonight and enjoy it. He took his seat next to Nigel to look at the view.

“Like I said, I’m a fucking romantic,” Nigel smirked over the table at Lee, and accepted a menu as their waiter approached to offer them a drink to start with.

Lee looked at the menu, deciding that he’d have some sort of seafood, so he’d pick a nice white wine. “Louis Guntrum Riesling 2015,” he said to the waiter.

Nigel raised his brows, and nodded that he’d have the same, and the waiter left them to look over their menus. “I don’t know a fucking thing about wine, and I won’t pretend I do. If it’s in front of me, I’ll drink it,” Nigel said, with shameless confidence.

Lee chuckled; “I own a wine bar in New Orleans. You’ve picked a nice white, I suggest a pasta, chicken or seafood dish to compliment it.” He gazed over at Nigel. “You look like a steak man though. Should have picked a red.”

Nigel blinked in surprise at Lee, and shrugged his shoulders. “Alright, wine man, order me a nice red when the waiter comes back. No reason we can’t have both, right?” Nigel asked, and felt himself flush a little again when Lee guessed (correctly) that he was going to order the steak.

“Order a Cab,” Lee whispered, letting Nigel keep his masculinity, and smiled when a white glass of wine was set in front of him, and one in front of Nigel. 

“I’ll also get a Cab,” Nigel said, decisively. The waiter nodded and made a suggestion as to the specific bottle, and Nigel waited for Lee to nod before he nodded. The waiter left again, and Nigel laughed, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners. “What the fuck did I just ask for? Cab is a … Cabernet? Right? I drink a lot of vodka.” Again, Nigel seemed utterly bereft of shame about his lack of expertise when it came to wine. He wasn’t usually the wine type, but he didn’t turn it down, either.

“Wine is something to appreciate,” Lee said, swirling his glass of wine first, and then smelling it, and then he sipped it, letting it rove over his tongue with sigh before swallowing. “It’s very good. It will be wonderful with that seabass.”

Nigel watched Lee with a little smile tugging at the edge of his mouth on one side, and smelled his white wine before he took a swallow. “So how the Hell did you go from owning a fucking wine bar to shampooing dogs?”

“I still own the wine bar. Someone else runs it for me while I’m in town. The Dog Wash is something I do to keep me occupied,” Lee said, elusively. He took another sip, swallowed. “Swirl it, sniff it, sip it and let it flow over your tongue for a moment and then swallow.”

Nigel arched an eyebrow at Lee before he did so, looking at Lee as he swirled the wine, then smelled it, and sipped it. It was amazing how different it actually tasted when he let it sit on his tongue for a moment, then swallowed. “I thought all that swirling and sniffing was just bullshit,” he chuckled, and smirked over his glass at Lee.

“Well don’t you feel dumb,” Lee laughed, teasing, and licked his lips. “Wine will never taste the same again. Wait until you get the cabernet with your steak. It’ll be amazing. Then again, I’m all about drinking wine  _ as _ a meal.”

The strange thing was, Nigel didn’t feel dumb. Usually, if _ anyone _ tried to tell him how to do anything, it would end with a shouting match, at the very least. Lee, however, had a way of saying things that didn’t make Nigel feel like he was trying to point out where he’d fucked up. It was … nice.  “Well, it’s made from fruit. Fruit’s fucking healthy,” Nigel smirked, and sipped his wine again, relaxed as he watched the light that reflected off of the ocean play over Lee’s features. “I’ve had meals of a pack of beer and half a pack of cigarettes, I’m not going to fucking judge you.”

“You think I'd care if you did judge me?” Lee laughed, and shook his head.

“No,” Nigel smiled at Lee, over the wine glass, with admiration, and tipped his chair back on two legs, out of habit. “You like hairy men, you like wine, what else do you like, Lee?”

“Running. Dogs. A good book. Good music. Dancing. Do you dance, Nigel?” Lee asked, coyly, fingers lightly tapping the side of his wine glass.

Nigel looked amused and mischievous, then swallowed his wine again, finishing it. He was hardly used to nursing a drink. “I’m not fucking bad at it. I dance, when I want to.”

“We should dance sometime, when you want to,” Lee teased, spreading out his long legs, toes of his tennis shoes touching Nigel’s nice ones.

Nigel smiled, and let their feet touch under the table. “I don’t have to be anywhere I don’t want to be when I don’t want to be there, anytime, gorgeous. What kind of dancing?”

Lee was starting to enjoy being called that. “Any kind.”

Lee was gorgeous, it wasn’t just a nickname. It had slipped out of Nigel’s mouth the first time, and stuck. Lee was stunning, even just in his work clothes. “Well, I’ve got a nice stereo,” Nigel reasoned, “and some space.”

“Where do you live,  Nigel?” Lee asked, curious to know more about the gruff Romanian sitting near him. Lee didn’t always take interest in everyone he slept with, but Nigel might be around for a bit, and good conversation was always needed.

“Downtown, top floor of a set of lofts, or whatever they call big-ass apartments these days,” Nigel smiled, and ordered their meals when the waiter returned with his red wine.

Letting Nigel order for him, Lee sat back a little more in his chair, looking out at the view. “Penthouse? Or smaller? Doesn’t matter. Enough room for us to get into trouble.”

“My fucking car is big enough for us to get into trouble,” Nigel rumbled with a smirk, and sipped the wine, nodding that he liked it. “It’s not bad.”

“I’m very flexible, we could get into trouble  _ anywhere _ ,” Lee said with a grin, watching Nigel enjoy the wine he suggested. “Save some of it for your steak. Trust me.”

“You’re full of surprises. So, what kind of dog do you have, or do you have eight of them?” Nigel asked, assuming Lee had to have some, given his job.

Lee laughed, everyone just assumed he had a dozen, let alone one. “I don’t. My rented apartment is small and my life, busy.”

“So you love dogs, and you own a dog business, but you can’t fucking have one of your own?” that didn’t make sense…

As much as Lee already liked Nigel, he wasn’t ready to give out that bit of information about his life just yet. “It’s complicated. I get my fill with the work I do.”

“Do you go out with many of your customers?” Nigel asked, and leaned back in his chair with confident grace.

“Most of my customers are old ladies with poodles,” Lee explained, gaze roving over the planes of Nigel’s body when he did that. “I don’t usually mix business and pleasure.”

Nigel sipped his wine again, and let Lee look his body over all he wanted. He put his elbows on the table, and leaned in, letting Lee look down his dark shirt. “Good.”

Lee chewed the inside of his cheek a moment, and then leaned to set his glass down. He then reached over and moved some of Nigel’s silvery hair from his eyes, eyes glancing from lips to chest, and back again. “You’re the jealous sort aren’t you?”

“I fucking can be,” Nigel admitted, as he let Lee brush the hair out of his eyes, staring into Lee’s as he touched him, which sent a thrill of warmth down his spine. Christ, just a  _ hand  _ against his hair made Nigel feel almost dizzy with want.

Leaning in closer to Nigel, Lee kissed his lips softly. “Nothing to be jealous about.”

Nigel kissed Lee back, with one hand closed in the front of his shirt, holding him there as their lips brushed slowly. “No? Not going to play me with someone else?”

“Too much trouble,” Lee whispered, gazing into Nigel’s amber eyes that seemed to flicker with the lighting in the restaurant. 

“Damn right,” Nigel chuckled, and kissed Lee again, not giving a damn who stared as he claimed his mouth with a slow kiss, then let go of his shirt to touch his cheek. “I like you, Lee. I don’t like many people.”

“I feel honored,” Lee murmured against Nigel’s mouth, palming down the bit of chest hair peeking out of the undone button of his shirt. “I like you, too. You don’t blow smoke up my ass.”

Nigel burst out laughing again, and stroked his hand over the side of Lee’s jaw, gazing at him like he’d never seen anyone so handsome. “Fuck, I will if that’s what turns you on, I mean …” he spread his hands, eyes bright with happiness.

“Never tried it… _ yet _ .” Lee turned his head to kiss Nigel’s palm just as their waiter returned with their dishes, setting them down on the table in front of them.

Nigel let go of Lee as the dishes were set down, but kept their feet together under the table, like he couldn’t stand not to touch him, somehow. “We’ll make a list,” Nigel winked, and looked at his steak and Lee’s sea bass. “God, I’m fucking starving,” he sighed, and started to cut into his steak, immediately.

Lee smirked, forking into his fish, flaking off perfectly, he slid the bite into his mouth with a hum. He’d enjoy eating today where he might not feel like it tomorrow. He took another bite, and then sipped his wine, which went surprisingly well. “Mm.”

Nigel took a bite of his steak and moaned. It was perfect. He ate as he did everything, a little roughly, like he had never learned the finer points of polished manners, or polished anything, for that matter. “I could never be a fucking vegetarian. Cows are too good.”

Chuckling, Lee swallowed his sip, cutting into another forkful. “I used to be one.” He bit the bite off the fork with another hum of satisfaction.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Nigel laughed, and took a swallow of his wine. Lee was right, it made the steak even better, somehow. “Why the fuck would you do that to yourself?”

“It was a way of life, and I felt great being one, but circumstances change,” Lee explained, eyes lingering on Nigel as he enjoyed his meal in new ways.

Nigel licked a little of the blood from his lips. He liked his steak rare, still able to taste the meat and not cooked as tough as a football. “Well thank fucking god,” Nigel huffed, and stopped, then offered Lee a little piece of steak, sweetly. “It’s good. Have some wine with it.”

Lee leaned over and bit the piece off the fork and then stole Nigel’s wine. He chewed and then took a sip, letting the flavors mingle together heavenly. “Mm. Good choice.”

Nigel watched Lee eat with a smile that made him look even more handsome. He did not share well; not food, not anything else, but he liked sharing with Lee. “Yeah, not bad. You might turn me into a wine guy, who fucking knows, right?” Nigel laughed at the thought. He was anything but classy. The vodka he drank was more like jet fuel than anything a place like this would serve.

“I have a lot of wine back at my place,” Lee offered, and forked a bite of his fish and offered it to Nigel. “Try that.”

Nigel leaned forward, over the table, and took a bite of the fish with the same manner in which a lion might take a treat from someone’s hand. He hummed, and nodded, then swallowed. “Not bad, I mean it’s no steak, but it’s not bad,” he chuckled, and sat back again, enjoying himself. He hadn’t enjoyed himself, really enjoyed just being with someone in … years.

Lee slid his wine over for Nigel to sip. “You need to broaden your tastes. Just a little.” He was teasing mostly, but if Lee had anything to do with it, he would make sure Nigel came out a bit more well rounded in the end of … whatever this was they had going.

Nigel took a swallow of the wine, and had to admit, it was even better with the fancy fish. “I like my tastes where they are, mostly in the gutter,” he joked, and handed Lee his glass back, their fingers brushing as he did.

“I hope to get to see more of those tastes later,” Lee said, finishing off his fish with one last bite. He took his glass back and sipped, leaning back in the chair, less than gracefully.

Nigel chuckled, watching Lee as he leaned back, eyes roving from his face down his chest, to his flat stomach. “You can see as much of me as you want,” Nigel said, and beckoned a finger at a waiter to come get Lee’s plate, then took the wine list, and looked at it. “What’s a fucking ridiculously  _ good  _ bottle of wine?” Nigel asked.   
  
“Well, I can get the somma-” the waiter started, but Nigel gave him a  _ look _ that made the young man swallow his tongue a little and shut up abruptly, then apologize in a little whisper as he took a step back. 

“I was asking  _ him _ , not  _ you _ . He knows more about fucking wine than any fucking overpaid grape snob you’ve got here, he _ owns _ a fucking  _ wine bar _ ,” Nigel growled, ferally, then looked at Lee again after he held up a hand at the waiter to make him wait there for Lee’s answer. “What’s a  _ really  _ fucking good bottle of wine? The _ best _ ? If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you get?” Nigel asked Lee, and handed him the wine list.

Lee blinked at the spectacle, but then got up and seated himself in Nigel’s lap to look over the wine list with him. “Super Tuscans are really good, very rich. The Tenuta San Guido ‘Sassicaia’ is one I’ve been dying to get my hands on.”

Nigel’s eyes went hard and injured when Lee stood up. He assumed this meant Lee was walking out, ditching him after all that. The second Lee sat in Nigel’s lap, however, Nigel’s eyes warmed, and crinkled at the edges with a smile as he wrapped one arm around Lee’s waist, and looked up at him while he looked at the list. He took the wine list and handed it to the waiter. “A bottle of that,” he nodded.

The waiter swallowed hard, and nodded, then took the list. “I … should advise you sir, it is a two-hundred and-” Nigel gave him a look again.    
  
“Well,  _ good _ . One of those,” he growled, and the waiter hurried off.  “I fucking hate it when they tell me what it costs. What do I look, cheap?” Nigel grumbled, arm tighter around Lee’s waist.

“Not at all,” Lee whispered, touching Nigel’s face gently with one hand, he nosed against his stubbly cheek.

Nigel closed his eyes and let Lee nuzzle him like that, smiling again. “Good. I’m on a hot date,” Nigel whispered, happily, and opened his eyes to look up at Lee where he was perched.

Lee kissed Nigel, hand over his heart, making sure he’d calmed down. The waiter returned with the bottle, and opened it for them, pouring a little in a clean glass and handed it to Lee. Picking it up by the stem, Lee swirled it it first and then sniffed. He let Nigel do the same before he took a sip, and then handed the taste to Nigel. “Always make sure it’s to your liking before you agree.”

Nigel took the glass and smelled it, as Lee showed him to, then sipped the wine and let it sit on his tongue before swallowing. “Shit, that’s good. I didn’t think it was going to taste any different, but holy shit.”

A smile broke out over Lee’s face, and he set the glass down. “Pour it up.” The waiter set down another clean glass and poured wine into them both and set the bottle down on the table. Lee reached and handed Nigel one of the glasses and then took up his own.

Nigel took his glass, holding it by the large curved bell that held his wine, then looked at it, and Lee again. “How’d you get to know so damn much about wine?”

Lee very carefully moved Nigel’s hand from around the globe of the glass to the stem. “You’ll heat it up that way,” he chided. “Wine was something I fell into at a young age. I opened my wine bar about ten years ago, and since then it’s been a passion. As the owner,  I have to know a lot about wine, what to buy, where to get it…”

“What’s your favorite?” Nigel asked, watching Lee’s perfect lips move as he talked, and the way the setting sun made his eyes look even bluer as the light shifted.

“Cabs,” Lee said, with a smirk as he caught Nigel looking at him like that. He leaned in and kissed his lips slowly, “big and bold, robust. Like you.”

Nigel chuckled at that, and curled one hand around the back of Lee’s neck to pull him in for another kiss, holding it longer as his heart fluttered in his chest, like it was waking up from long, long sleep. He finally pulled back enough to sip the wine again. “So, if your bar’s your passion, why are you up here?”

“A retreat of sorts,” Lee explained, not wrong, but not right either. He took another sip, licking his lips. “I’m somewhat of a Buddhist. Sometimes I need to get away. Then I got stuck here, and open the Dog Wash for fun…”

"Stuck here?” Nigel asked, with a raise of one faint eyebrow and a shrewd look. “You’ve got some kind of trouble at home?”

“Let me rephrase,” Lee chuckled, “I got stuck here because of the Dog Wash. I’m trying to find manager or a buyer. Until then, I’m happy to stay here.” Some of that was true, he was looking for someone to run it and work it, as Lee knew his days weren’t going to last forever.

Nigel watched Lee speak as he drank some more wine, and was silent a long time. “Uh huh. Are Buddhists allowed to fucking lie?”

“It’s not a lie,” Lee said, meeting Nigel’s gaze. He didn’t lie, he might work around the truth, but he never lied outright.

“It’s not the fucking truth, either, is it?” Nigel asked, holding the gaze, intensely. “I know the technical truth when I fucking hear it, Lee.”

Lee swallowed another sip of wine; he couldn’t tell Nigel. He never told anyone he’d ever slept with, as the outcome was either too clingy or too angry. Lee didn’t do attachments for this very reason. “It’s truth enough.”

“Okay, truth enough, none of my fucking business,” Nigel shrugged, and sipped his wine, then smirked up at Lee. “Mysterious motherfucker, you are.”

Glad the subject was dropped, Lee reached for the bottle and poured them both more wine. Nothing more was said about that.

They’d only met that day, and Nigel knew Lee was keeping something from him, but not what. Fine, he’d find out sooner or later. “As long as you’re not fucking married, it’s your business,” Nigel whispered, and brushed his lips against the sharp line of Lee’s jaw, affectionately, then nuzzled his ear.

“Married? No,” Lee chuckled, taking larger sips now, the buzz of the alcohol coursing through his veins, flushing his skin pink.

Nigel nibbled at Lee’s earlobe, and brushed a thumb over the warm flush of the skin on Lee’s smiling cheek. “Hard to believe no one’s snapped you up.”

“No saying they didn’t try,” Lee whispered, his pulse racing in his neck.

“But you’re too slippery? Too hard to catch?” Nigel whispered, and kissed the side of Lee’s flushing throat, then sipped more wine.

Lee had a feeling that Nigel would take that as a challenge, but there was no other way around it. “Something like that.”

Nigel’s dark eyes gleamed at that, and he nipped at Lee’s earlobe again, then sucked it, softly. “Maybe everyone’s too fucking boring for you, too predictable and tame. A guy like you doesn’t fucking settle, he’s gotta wait for someone worth it.”

“And  _ you’re _ that guy?” Lee asked, coyly, taking one long last sip of his wine, letting it warm him from the inside out.

“Who fucking knows? Maybe I fucking am,” Nigel whispered, and refilled Lee’s glass with the expensive wine as he held him with one arm. “So far so good, right?”

“So far, so good,” Lee agreed, nodding his head as he sipped the refill, the buzz already hitting his headspace, relaxing him even more so than he usually tended to be.

The waiter returned with a dessert cart, and smiled at the two of them now that they were both quite relaxed and happy. “Anything for dessert?” he offered. Nigel watched Lee’s reaction, closely, utterly set on spoiling the hell out of the bubbly, carefree man in his lap.

Lee licked his lips. “The mousse.”

Nigel nodded and pointed at what looked like a tart. “Mousse and one of those,” he said, rubbing Lee’s back with one hand, able to feel lean muscle under his palm. The waiter nodded, and pushed the cart back to the kitchen to have their orders prepared.

Lee smiled softly at Nigel and nuzzled his nose against his jaw, and then kissed him there. “You’re far too sweet to me.” Lee would have been happy with just going at it in the car, but Nigel so clearly wanted to wine and dine him. Lee hadn’t let anyone do that in a long time.

“Most people are full of shit,” Nigel replied, and gazed at Lee. “You’re not. That, and you have the world’s most fuckable ass.”

Except for what Lee wouldn’t tell him. In time, right now Lee wanted to enjoy his evening with Nigel before ruining everything. “Most fuckable ass. I need that on a plaque.”

Nigel laughed loudly, and turned Lee’s face so that he could kiss his lips. “Don’t tempt me, gorgeous. I’ll get one.”

Lee didn’t really need one, but he liked that if he asked, Nigel would. Said something about the sort of man he was,  Lee could tell. He kissed Nigel’s lips slowly, paying no mind to anyone else in the room, no matter who was staring at them.

Nigel was the sort of man who would move heaven and Earth for someone he was attached to, just for them. He hummed and kissed Lee slowly, winding their tongues together as the waiter put their plates on the table, not daring to interrupt them.

“We should get this to go,” Lee whispered, tempted to down the wine, no matter what it cost, so he could get more privacy with Nigel. He bit and tugged at the older man’s bottom lip.

Nigel nodded, and groaned at the bite. “Yeah…” he whispered and held his hand up for the bill as they kissed.

The waiter took the dessert and boxed it up to go, and handed Nigel the bill. Lee grinned against Nigel’s mouth, and then pulled back, downing the very last bit of his wine, thoroughly buzzed. 

Nigel smiled, and watched Lee, and took a stack of bills from his wallet, enough to cover the bill in cash with a recklessly large tip that would ensure they would get seated without notice any time Nigel wanted to bring Lee back for more of the wine he liked, here. “Shall we?” Nigel asked, and handed Lee the rest of his bottle of wine.

Lee took the bottle, the cork already put back in for him by the waiter, and took Nigel’s hand, clearly a little tipsy and wanted to ensure that he’d be able to at least get to the car. “Yes.”

Nigel held Lee’s hand and walked him through the restaurant, proudly, outside to the car, and picked a white rose from a beautiful bush that was growing next to the restaurant’s entrance. He tucked it in with the bottle, and kissed Lee’s cheek before he opened the passenger side door for him. “In you go, watch your head.”

“You are a romantic,” Lee hummed, slipping easily into the car, he buckled in and held the bottle and the desserts in his lap.

Nigel smirked, and closed the door, then stalked around to his side, and got in. He kissed Lee again as he started the car, then sighed as he backed out of the spot, and started to drive them into the city. “Want to see my place?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Lee flirted, batting his long, dark lashes over at Nigel as the city lights seemed to blur around them.

Nigel drove fast, but in control as he took the freeway into the heart of the city, and turned into one of the trendier, nicer streets, then parked the muscle car in an underground lot, and looked over at Lee. “Home sweet home. Elevator’s this way,” he whispered, as he stole a few slow, hot kisses from the side of Lee’s neck.

Lee stepped out of the car, goods in his arms, and followed Nigel to the elevator. “Nice part of town too.”

“Nicer the neighborhood, the more shit you can get away with,” Nigel muttered as he lit a cigarette and took a drag, then kept it in his lips as he took the wine from Lee, and the desserts while they walked to the elevator. He used his key, and the doors opened.

Eying the cigarette, Lee stepped inside, thanking Nigel for his gallantry, even if it wasn’t necessary. “How much do you need to get away with?”

“Oh, just enough,” Nigel chuckled as he blew a devilish looking halo of smoke around himself while the elevator rose, smoothly. He smirked at Lee, and arched an eyebrow, almost daring him to ask more.   
  
The elevator came to a stop at the top, and Nigel sauntered out, into a wide, modern hallway with stark white walls, brushed steel doors, and perfectly black carpet laid neatly over old looking wood.

“Aren’t we a mysterious duo,” Lee said, following alongside Nigel as they walked. “You’re allowed to smoke in here?”

Nigel exhaled smoke, and unlocked a steel door at the end of the hall. “No one’s stopped me. Smoke makes you sick or something?”

It would hardly make a difference to Lee’s health these days, so he shook his head. “Just curious, most buildings don't allow that. It’s a law.” He shrugged.

“Hm,” Nigel said, and held the door open to a huge, industrial, and frankly stunning loft apartment with lots of brick and polished, exposed pipework. The dog Nigel brought into Lee’s store jumped off of one of the deep leather couches, and wagged, hesitantly. Nigel closed the door and patted his leg. “Hey, hey, c’mere…” Very slowly, she moved over to them and held very still while Nigel petted her.

Lee took the wine and the desserts and sat them in the kitchen on the counter while Nigel pet  _ his _ dog, smiling about that. “I see you kept her. Name?” Lee asked, moving around the kitchen to find plates and wine glasses, settling for tumblers when the latter was nowhere to be found.

“Don’t have one yet,” Nigel chuckled around the cigarette, then patted the dog’s thin back and showed her to her food bowl, which was empty again. He pulled a bag of vet-grade food from the front closet, and filled it half-way for her, encouraging her to eat some more in Romanian as he patted her thin shoulders, and put the food away again. “The vet said she could get sick if she eats too much at one time,” he explained, and stuffed the bag in the closet, then closed it, and walked to the kitchen to stamp his cigarette out in a half-full ashtray.

“A good idea not to give her too much then,” Lee said, filling their glasses with the rest of the wine. He handed one to Nigel alone with a plate that had his dessert on it. Lee found a spoon and plopped down on a stool, digging into his mousse. “Mm…” He licked the spoon clean. “Wow.”

Nigel smiled, and shook his hair out of his eyes as he sat across from Lee, too busy watching him enjoy the mousse to eat his own dessert. “I could watch you lick a spoon for fucking ever.”

Lee chuckled through another bite, and then swallowed. “Just a spoon?” he flirted, scooping up another dollop, and then slowly licked it off the spoon, slower this time, making intense, heated eye contact with Nigel.

Nigel’s chest sank as he sighed, watching Lee’s tongue with a smile before he sipped his wine, throwing it back like something stronger out of habit. “Keep that up and you’re not going to have time to finish that fucking mousse…” he whispered.

“Guess I better hurry,” Lee grinned and took the last bite, the dish of mousse wasn’t a lot. He licked that bite off the spoon too, and washed it down with wine.

Nigel ignored his dessert completely, and just drank and watched Lee instead. “You are fucking … stunning. How the fuck does someone get a face like that?” Nigel asked, affectionately, and reached across the breakfast bar to touch Lee’s jaw, then his cheek, smitten.

“Lots of plastic surgery,” Lee joked, smirking at Nigel as he set his dish aside and finished the last bit of wine in his glass. He slipped off the stool and walked around to Nigel, slipping between his thick thighs, arms around his broad shoulders. “This is better.”

Nigel pulled Lee closer by his hips and nuzzled his face. “Much better,” he whispered, and kissed him again, dragging his tongue over Lee’s as he tasted the mousse that way, humming while he tugged Lee closer with a wrap of his long legs around Lee.

Lee started slipping buttons through holes, undoing Nigel’s shirt, slowly, as they kissed at the same pace. He pushed it off the other man’s shoulders, and palmed down his perfectly hairy chest. “Perfect…”

Nigel let Lee undress him, and tossed the shirt behind him, on the floor, where the dog sniffed at it, then laid on it as the men wrapped themselves together like vines. Nigel tugged at Lee’s shirt after he ran his hands over the taut muscle on Lee’s back, and peeled it off, their mouths parting just long enough to get the fabric past their faces before Nigel kissed Lee again while he stripped the shirt off and tossed it.

Lee hummed, lashing their tongues together as he tugged Nigel off the stool, walking backwards. He toed his shoes off and walked over them. He undid Nigel’s pants for the second time that evening, wanting to get a full view this time.

Nigel let the dark dress pants he wore for their date slip down his long, muscular legs, and stepped out of them, then left his socks behind, utterly nude as he walked Lee backward toward the bedroom. “More room this time,” he whispered as he flicked Lee’s jeans undone with one hand, and unzipped them, his hand slipping inside to palm his cock again.

“Lots,” Lee agreed, groaning as Nigel touched him again, his whole body on fire with lust and alcohol, already starting to sweat.

Nigel walked Lee into a modern, bedroom with concrete walls and a large bed with thick grey covers and pillows all over it, in a mess. The room would have been bleak if it were not for floor to ceiling glass on one side that gave a glorious view of the city under them. Nigel, however, was much too distracted with Lee to bother with any other view. He pushed him onto the bed, and then crawled over Lee to pin his head to the pillows with a firm, deep kiss as he laid over him.

Lee kicked off his jeans and socks, and wrapped his long runner’s legs around Nigel’s hips, raking nails down his hair chest, over pert nipples. “Nigel…” he hummed into the other man’s mouth, perfectly naked, hot and slicked with sweat already, sliding together.

“Fucking perfect,” Nigel whispered, roughly, and rocked them together, slowly, hands clutched over Lee’s shoulders as they slid together, cock against cock. One of Nigel’s strong thighs slipped between Lee’s and ground against his balls, slowly. “I want to feel that mouth of yours before I fuck your ass again.”

Lee ground down against Nigel's thigh, kissing him with long, languid sweeps of tongue. “Roll over, let me taste you.”

Nigel groaned and stretched out, then rolled over in the big, messy bed. A large scar was apparent, over his left ribs. It was old, but rough-looking, as though it hadn’t healed quite right. He was covered in smaller scars, round ones in a couple of places, thin, long lines in others.

“You’ve seen some stuff,” Lee whispered as he gazed over Nigel and slipped between his thighs, running hands down his torso, feeling out all the scars. He traced his tongue over the large one and then kissed Nigel’s hips, laying down between his legs, nestling his face into the mound of pubic hair, taking in his musky scent. “God.”

“Yeah,” Nigel chuckled, and let Lee admire him before he nuzzled his groin. “Fuck, already good,” he whispered, palm sliding against Lee’s short hair.

Lee didn’t ask, he had his share of scars, one on his hip was the most noticeable. He groaned and licked a stripe up Nigel’s cock slowly, and then sucked the head into his mouth, and bobbed down around him, cheeks hollowing as he sucked.

Nigel’s head fell back as Lee began to blow him, and he moaned, thick thighs spreading as Lee started to give him the best blowjob he’d ever had. “Jesus Fucking Christ…”

Lee hummed against Nigel, and then tugged on his balls with one hand, rolling them in his fist. He lathed his tongue around the tip, slathering Nigel’s cock completely in saliva. He rutted against the bed, working himself up with the friction of bedcovers.

“Fuck, your tongue,” Nigel moaned, watching Lee suck and lick him. He groaned at the tug to his balls, and pressed himself up, into Lee’s mouth.

“Mm…” Lee took Nigel all the way down to the hilt, squeezing his balls tighter and tighter, let with pop, he let go and pulled his mouth off.

Nigel felt like he just took a hit of something incredible when Lee’s mouth was around him. He pulled Lee up for a rough kiss, and then rolled them over pinning Lee to the bed as he grabbed a bottle from the nightstand, and two condoms, in his haste, and then plunged two lubed fingers into Lee.

“Oh,” Lee panted out, on his back now, “now look who’s prepared.” He grinned into Nigel’s mouth, fingers tugging on his silvery strands, as their tongues slide together, teeth clinking.

“What’s a fucking bedroom for?” Nigel moaned, and worked his fingers inside Lee slowly, like he did in the car. He gripped Lee’s cock with his other hand, and stroked at the same time, eager to see Lee writhe.

Grasping Nigel’s hair in one hand, the other gripped his shoulder as Lee rocked himself down on Nigel’s perfectly long fingers. His mouth fell open, as long digits spread inside of him, pressing tight against the bundle of nerves. “Good-”

“Beautiful when you’re grinding yourself on my fingers,” Nigel purred, and bit Lee’s earlobe, hard enough to taste a little blood.

Lee writhed, bright blue eyes blown nearly dark with lust, holding Nigel just there with a groan. He rolled his hips up into Nigel’s other hand, working his cock through calloused fingers, wet at the tip.

“Might have to keep you, Lee,” Nigel moaned, staring down at the blue-eyed man before he kissed his lips again, with reckless passion, and squeezed Lee’s cock before he pulled his hand away to lift the condom off the bed. He tore the wrapped with his teeth, spat out the strip of paper, and rolled it down his shaft.

“Keep me?” the brunet almost laughed, but rolled to his stomach, on his knees and elbows, presenting Nigel with a beautiful view of his ass, pert and in the air. “Let’s start with this first and talk about keeping later.”

Nigel laughed aloud, and palmed Lee’s ass with a deep sigh. It was the most perfect ass he’d ever seen, and he leaned down to bite one cheek with a groan before he straightened and pressed his cock inside.

“Oh-” Lee closed his eyes as his ass was suddenly filled, rolling his hips back to take Nigel all the way in, to the hilt. “Love how you fill me.”

Nigel grabbed Lee’s slim hips, and pulled him back, holding him there for a second before he started to thrust. Nigel gripped Lee’s shoulders instead, and snapped his hips, screwing him hard right off. Lee’s mouth dropped open as he bowed his head almost against the bed, gripping the sheets tight with his long fingers, panting moans into the covers.

“Shit,” Lee moaned, pressing back to meet Nigel’s every thrust. “Harder.”

Nigel slapped one cheek of Lee’s ass, hard enough to make the muscle quiver before he fucked him mercilessly, and leaned over him to bite the back of his shoulder, marking him. “Demanding little thing…”

Lee managed a breathy chuckle through his pants and moans, reaching one arm back to run it over Nigel’s hairy thigh. “That bother you?”

“Fuck, no,” Nigel gasped, “just makes me.want to fuck the bossy right out of you,” he purred, and gave Lee’s ass another slap. “Spread your legs, pretty thing.”

A hum and then Lee spread further for Nigel, feeling his cock inside him in new ways like this, his own cock dripping against the bed. “Better?”

“Yes,” Nigel grunted. He reached around Lee and gripped his cock with a calloused hand, then started to stroke it in time as he pounded himself into Lee, his girth grinding against Lee’s prostate with every snap of Nigel’s hips. “So fucking tight…”

All Lee could do was pant into the bed as his body was slammed into, his nerves on fire, his prostate abused, setting him off in a writhing frenzy below Nigel. Heat pooled fast in his lower back, maybe all too soon, but Lee couldn’t help bucking into that perfectly rough palm.

“Are you gonna come? Coat my fucking hand while I fuck you?” Nigel rasped in Lee’s ear, as he pounded him from behind, and flicked the nail of his thumb against the pulsing head of Lee’s cock, just enough to hurt the right amount. “Maybe I won’t fucking let you…”

“Yeah,” Lee breathed, hands wrangled into the now messy sheets, his ass pink with every slap of Nigel’s hips. “Fuck, I’mma-”

Nigel squeezed his hand tighter around Lee’s cock, at the base, like a cock ring, and kept fucking him harder and faster. Lee couldn’t come like this, but the sensation could build and build, driving him mad until Nigel allowed him to feel release. “Ask nicely,” Nigel demanded, his words broken by the slamming of his hips.

“Please,” Lee begged, pleaded, panting and sweating into the bed, a pool of it under them now. His body was ready to rupture, but his pleasure was in Nigel's capable hands. “Nigel…”

“Please what?” Nigel gasped, fighting back his own orgasm, not ready for this to end just yet.  He kept his hand tight, choking Lee’s perfect cock just  _ so _ .

“Let me come,” Lee groaned out, his face shmushed sideways into the bed, one dark blue eye gazing up at Nigel as his body heaved and writhed.

Nigel’s breath hitched, and finally, he let go of Lee’s cock, releasing his now quite sensitive body to the onslaught of orgasm that was just waiting to wash over him. “There- “ Nigel gasped, and groaned loudly, wildly as he came deep inside Lee, buried in him as his body shook and flexed, shining with sweat.

Huffing, Lee finally came, hard and hot, and throbbing all at once, white behind his closed eyes, and he was  _ sure _ he blacked out there for a second. When he finally gathered himself, he laughed. “You’re a not a bear, you’re a beast.”

Nigel held Lee through it, one big arm around his waist as Lee came violently. He laughed against Lee’s ear, and laid down, with Lee in front of him, spooning him as they sweated into the sheets and caught their breath. “Your Beast. Does that make you Beauty?”

“I don't know about beauty,” Lee smirked, reaching behind him to grasp Nigel's thick muscled thigh. “Maybe name your new dog that.”

Nigel laughed again, and kissed the side of Lee’s throat. “Beauty … I could,” he whispered, against Lee’s ear, and nuzzled him, softly.  Nigel’s timid dog padded into the room now that the noise was over, and sniffed at Nigel and Lee’s bare feet. 

Lee laughed. “There’s a wet nose at the end of your bed,” he said, enjoying the feel of being held for a little bit.

Beauty hopped up, shyly, and laid down over their feet, relaxing when she wasn’t yelled at. “She’s lonely without us,” Nigel smiled, and held Lee more tightly, nuzzling his neck as he kissed the still flushed skin.

Lee wiggled his feet at her, and turned so he could see Nigel’s handsome face up close, really looking at him. “Dare I ask what you do to afford all this and the wine and the food?”

“Bad things,” Nigel said, shamelessly, and touched Lee’s cheek with his palm, then kissed his lips. “The less you fucking know about that, the better.”

Lee believed in Karma, and that was something he wondered if Nigel believed in to, though likely not. It’s not as though he’ll be around to see Nigel get his, is it? Lee swallowed and nodded, understanding. They both had secrets now. “Okay.”

“Are you going to run now?” Nigel asked, bluntly, but kept his arms around Lee with a hint of dread in his deep voice. “I won’t fucking chase you or anything crazy. I’m not a fucking psycho.”

“Run because you do bad things? No,” Lee said, matter of factly. He rolled, Nigel slipping out of him as he did, and reached to take care of the condom for him, “But I do believe in Karma, so maybe I’m worried for you. A little.”

“What, that bad things might happen to me because of what I do for a living?” Nigel asked with a soft laugh, and kissed Lee as he pulled the condom off of him to toss it out. “Gorgeous, bad things have already happened to me.”

“I’d hate for more to happen then,” Lee said knowingly, and got up to toss the condom out, and then came back and crawled over Nigel, looking down at him.

Nigel leaned up, still wearing only his numerous scars, and pulled Lee down to him in the bed, to hold. Nigel’s body was statuesque, perfectly proportioned and powerful as it curled around Lee, protectively, keeping him close. “It’s a shitty world out there, gotta live while you can.”

“Every day like the last,” Lee whispered back, touching Nigel’s perfect lips with his fingertips, committing to memory the look and feel of them before kissing him soundly.

“Exactly,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s fingertips, then his lips, deeply, enjoying him the way Lee enjoyed wine. He wrapped both heavy arms around Lee’s back, and sucked at his lower lip before tangling their tongues together. “Stay tonight. I’ll drive you wherever you want in the morning.”

“Okay,” Lee agreed, though this went against most of what he believed in, about attachments. It was one night. “I’ll just need a ride to work.”

“Of course, I’ll make you breakfast,” Nigel smirked, and kissed Lee’s now very soft lips again as he wound one long, tanned leg around Lee’s legs to keep him close. “I’m a shitty cook. Don’t expect much.”

“Coffee will be fine, as long as there is that,” Lee whispered, unable to stop kissing and gazing at Nigel. No one had tried to bring Lee home in a long time, let alone coerce him into staying the night. Lee was very simple, and Nigel complicated.

“Of course. I’m not a fucking animal,” Nigel laughed, and tugged a thick blanket over both of them with a sigh. Lee snuggled in, resting his head on Nigel’s big hairy chest, strumming his fingers through it until he fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Nigel slept hard and long, with Lee in his arms and Beauty laying at their feet until early the next morning when he woke, and stayed awake, just feeling Lee breathe in his arms for a few minutes before he got up to use the bathroom, and went to the kitchen to cook a very, very simple breakfast of bacon and eggs for them both, stomach snarling with hunger.

Groaning a little when Nigel got up, Lee rolled over and then slowly got out of bed. He pulled on his underwear and jeans from yesterday and sauntered into the kitchen. “You didn’t need to cook.”

Nigel was still nude, except for a towel around his waist, and he yawned as he looked back at Lee. “How the fuck are you not hungry?” he asked, as he flipped an egg over in the pan, and then smiled at him, looking him over. “Coffee,” he grunted, and nodded at the coffee maker where it was waiting.

Lee hummed and walked over to the coffee maker and poured himself a black cup. He was more of a tea person, but he wouldn’t bother Nigel with that, coffee would be fine for today. “I’m hungry, never said I wasn’t.”

“I’m always fucking hungry in the morning,” Nigel murmured, and looked back at Lee, “like a bear.”

Beauty looked up from her bowl of food and wagged at Lee, then went back to eating quietly.

Lee hid his smile in his mug, sipping the hot, rich liquid, and hummed at Nigel as he scooted closer to him. “You  _ are _ quite the bear. What no fish?” he teased.

Nigel gave Lee a confused look, then chuckled when he realized it was just a bear joke. “Mhm. Ever woken a bear in the morning?”

“I don’t make it habit of doing that,” Lee whispered, kissing Nigel’s shoulder and then his neck once with coffee warmed lips.

Nigel hummed, and sighed softly as Lee kissed his skin. He closed his eyes, distracted, and turned around to kiss Lee’s lips properly. He already smelled like smoke, having had his first cigarette of the morning while he took Beauty outside to do her business. “You could start…”

“Oh, you mean  _ that _ bear,” Lee grinned, and set his coffee down. “You finish making breakfast.” He slid down to the floor, his back to the oven door, and wrapped his hands around Nigel’s cock, working him up, and then sucked the tip into his mouth, slowly.

Nigel groaned as Lee did that, surprised, but not at all displeased as Lee sucked him. “Shit … Lee,” he gasped, and almost dropped the spatula in his haste to touch Lee’s short hair. “Fuck-”

Lee wanted to get as much of the bear as he could while he could. This wouldn’t last, but for now he’d take all he could from Nigel. He wrapped his hot mouth around him and lathed his tongue over the head of his cock, gazing up at him as his eyes grew darker with lust.

Nigel let the food simmer as he stared down at Lee and yanked the towel around his hips off completely so that he could watch his cock disappear between Lee’s lips. “That fucking tongue of yours, Lee…” Nigel moaned, rocking himself into Lee’s mouth, slowly.

Humming against Nigel’s cock, Lee smiled with his eyes up at the Romanian, clutching his thighs with both hands, squeezed up to his ass, pushing his hips into his face so Nigel’s cock slid to the back of his throat.

“Christ, you’re gorgeous,” Nigel gasped, and moaned, loudly, the sound shaking on his lips as he felt his cock press against the back of Lee’s neck. “Get up, I want to fuck you before breakfast.”

Lee licked his lips and slid up Nigel’s front slowly, tugging a condom out of his pocket, and then dropped his jeans to the floor. “I’m turning you into an addict aren’t I?”

Nigel pulled Lee close and kissed him ravenously as an answer. He grabbed him by the hips and pulled him over to the kitchen table, which Nigel cleared with a blind swipe of his arm before he laid Lee over it, back to the wood. “That answer your question?” he gasped, and gripped Lee’s thighs to pull his ass to the edge of the table. Nigel smirked and sank down, spreading Lee’s cheeks before he began to tongue his entrance.

“Oh...Oh fuck,” Lee gasped out, reaching to grasp onto anything at all, his body writhing already from the touch of Nigel’s tongue there. “Yes, good… more.”

Nigel yanked Lee closer by his thighs and plunged his tongue inside, with a groan, wetting and stretching him as he rimmed him thoroughly while his hands roved over the smooth skin of his thighs and ass, caressing and scratching with blunt nails by turn.

“Nigel-” he breathed out, having not been done like this in ages; Lee was very fuck and go most of the time. “God, keep doing that.” His hand reached and tugged on his ashen strands of hair, yanking.

Nigel groaned against Lee and used both hands to knead his perfect ass as he drove his tongue in, over and over, slicking him from the inside and eliciting beautiful, desperate noises from his lips.

Lee tugged strands harder, all but leveraging himself against Nigel’s face with his ass, nearly off the table. “Oh Fuck, come up here and fuck me…”

Nigel didn’t do as he was told, at least not immediately. He plunged his tongue more deeply into Lee’s body, and dragged the tip over the spot in the smooth curve of Lee’s insides just over his prostate before he pulled away, quite proud of himself. Nigel grabbed the condom and ripped it open, then slid it on, and pressed his cock into Lee, slowly. “Bossy boy…”

Lee gripped the table and took Nigel in without resistance, skin flushed and cheeks ruddy, biting his bottom lip. “You like me bossy,” he groaned, pretty sure Nigel wasn’t used to people bossing him around.

Nigel’s head fell forward, and he pulled Lee’s toned legs over his shoulders, then stared down at him with intense, dark eyes before he started to fuck him slowly. “Yeah, maybe I do,” he purred, and tugged, then twisted Lee’s nipples as his hips picked up speed.

A sweet heat picked up through Lee’s body, sending him into a blissful pleasure, he almost told Nigel to do it harder, but just grinned up at him instead, head lolled back against the table as it rocked under them, shaking.

Lee’s smile was breathtaking. There he was, being fucked senseless on a kitchen table, and smiling like it was the greatest way to start the day he’d ever had. Nigel moved Lee’s legs around his waist, then picked him up, easily, carried him to the wall, pinned him to it, and started to fuck him hard against the wall, staring into his eyes.

“Oh yeah,” Lee groaned, arms around Nigel’s broad shoulders, panting with every thrust up into him the other man gave. He leaned and bit Nigel’s ear, sucking on his velvety lobe. Lee knew he was going to get attached and that was  _ bad. _

"Fucking love to hear you talk while I’m fucking you,” Nigel moaned, and slipped his arms under Lee’s thighs, bending him almost in half while he pounded into him, sweat dripping down his flexing back.

Every breath hitched out of Lee’s mouth, sending him into a near euphoric state of pleasure as Nigel’s cock hit just the  _ right _ spot, over and over again. His toes curled, his  body started to tense, and Lee gripped Nigel as tight as he could. “Fuck, so close, my bear, so close…”

“Right there-” Nigel gasped, his body beginning to sweat and squeeze, nerves burning hot like fuses. “Yeah? Gonna come on my cock, Lee?”

“Fuck yes,” Lee panted out, and he was coming, long and hard, in streams against his own stomach, hips and body undulating uncontrollably, every muscle clenched and throbbing. 

Nigel was able to watch only a second of Lee falling apart against the wall, and felt him come, hot and thick against his stomach before he joined him, shouting wordlessly as he came inside Lee, and held him tighter, shaking and sweating as his hips slowed, riding it out until they were both still. “Fuck …”

“I’m gonna feel you for days,” Lee whispered with a little sigh, clutching his chest as he caught his breath. “Oh, fuck.” He closed his eyes contently for just a second.

Nigel sank to his knees with Lee in his arms with a smile, and kissed Lee’s cheek. “Did I kill you?”

Lee laughed, breathily, and shook his head, eyes opening to gaze at Nigel. “No, no, you don’t get off that easy.” 

Nigel’s eyes softened a little, and he nuzzled Lee’s face, as gentle now as he was brutal before. “You okay?”

“Mhm,” Lee hummed the reply and turned his head to kiss Nigel’s face and then his lips. “Took my breath away, is all.”

Nigel chuckled, and just laid on the floor with Lee over him, staring up at the gorgeous blue-eyed man. “Same here, gorgeous, same here.”

After a few moments and Lee has his breath back, he kissed Nigel’s throat. “Where are my eggs? I was promised eggs.”

Nigel rolled his eyes and got up to take the condom off, dumping it in the trash. He rinsed his hands, and tossed the eggs and bacon on one plate, then grabbed two forks and laid down with Lee and the plate on the floor. “Here’s your fucking eggs,” he grumbled, with a smile, and offered a piece to Lee on the end of a fork.

For whatever reason, Nigel didn’t make Lee get up, he just came back to him. Lee smiled and sat up a little and ate the bacon with a hum. “I did miss bacon when I tried to be a vegetarian.”

“Of course you did,” Nigel said with a smirk, and ate a piece of bacon, then kissed Lee on the mouth. “It’s good.” Beauty wandered over, shyly, and Nigel broke off a little bit of bacon for her, more fond of her by the day.

Lee reached to pet the dog and then snagged a forkful of eggs, and then another. “Mm, these are good.” He grinned over at Nigel.

“Eggs and grease,” Nigel nodded, after swallowing a mouthful.

“When you put it that way…” Lee grinned wider, learning to love even the things that were the  worst for him while he could. He snagged another piece and ate it, licking his long fingers clean.

Nigel watched Lee, then stole a swallow of coffee from his mug. “I’m not a fucking chef, but I can do this without burning the goddamned place down.”

“Well, at least I don't have to worry about you,” Lee teased and stole a coffee stained kiss from Nigel.

“I didn’t say that,” Nigel chuckled, and stretched out on the floor, well aware his days had much more dangerous things in store than just burning his home down.

Lee finished the eggs and bacon, starved. He rolled over on Nigel, kissed him, and then stood up, getting his jeans so he could shimmied back into them. “What time do you start doing whatever it is you do?”

Nigel watched Lee, then got up himself, and took another cigarette from the pack on the table. “Depends on the day. Just have one thing today, nothing much.”

“You should get Beauty registered and licensed,” Lee suggested, searching the room for his shirt with a chuckle, and then his socks. “She can be official.”

“What the fuck am I licensing her for? Is she going to fucking drive?” Nigel asked, as he watched Lee dress, and reluctantly went back to the bedroom, then came back doing up his jeans that sat low on his hips.

“You have to license her, it’s the law,” Lee said, though he was sure Nigel didn’t really believe in anything the law said. “But you’ll do as you want anyway.” Lee shrugged, and sauntered over to Nigel, fingers sliding into the gruffer man’s his belt loops.

Nigel smirked, and cupped his hands over the sides of Lee’s handsome face, then pulled him in for a kiss. Even after fucking Lee, three times, just kissing him made Nigel’s heart race. “Always do, gorgeous, always do.”

Lee sighed heavily with contentment and kissed Nigel back slowly. “Well, while you do as you want, some of us have stores to open up,” he murmured against Nigel's perfect mouth.

Nigel sighed, and kissed Lee’s lips again with longing. “You don’t have to…”

What Lee would give to just stay here a little longer and let Nigel hold him like this, but he had an appointment. He kissed Nigel’s bottom lip. “People are waiting on me…”

“Little old ladies?” Nigel asked, with a smirk, and pulled back just enough to pull a shirt on, over his hairy chest.

“There’s a few who are  _ very _ punctual,” Lee teased softly, running his hands down Nigel’s now clothed chest.

“I suppose I should drive you there. God fucking forbid a little old lady and her poodle wait in the sun,” Nigel muttered, and smiled as Lee touched his chest again. “I’ll be fucking hairy all by myself, here. Fine.”

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?” Lee chuckled, stealing another kiss as he finally let go and found his bag by the door where he’s dropped it in haste.

“Pfft,” Nigel scoffed, and palmed Lee’s ass as Lee turned away, then grabbed his keys and opened the door, watching every move Lee made, still wondering if he was going to hear from Lee again, or if this would be it. 

Lee had a habit of letting destiny work it’s ways, even if he didn’t keep possessions or attachments, if people were in his life for a reason, then they would be. He walked out of the door and down the hall of the very fancy building. “That wasn’t a no.”

Nigel watched Lee walk down the hall, and Beauty followed him, happy not to be left behind. “I don’t fucking lie.”

“I didn’t say you did,” Lee hummed, stopping at the elevator, he pushed the button to go down, but sure if he needed Nigel’s pass, so he waited for the other man, petting Beauty as she came up behind him. “I should get you a bow for your fur.”

Beauty licked Lee’s hand, softly, and wagged at him as Nigel stepped into the elevator, and pressed the button to make the doors close before he kissed Lee. “Talking to me or the dog?”

“Do you want a bow for your fur too, my bear?” Lee whispered with a smile against Nigel’s mouth, kissing him back with slow licks of his tongue.

Nigel laughed against Lee’s lips, and sucked his tongue slowly, then bit at his lower lip. “Put it anywhere you fucking like.”

Lee was a happy person, happier than most, because he never cared what anyone else thought, but right now he felt elated beyond words. He knew better though, he would only end up hurting Nigel, one way or another. Even still; “Don’t tempt me,” he whispered, dragging teeth across Nigel’s bottom lip. The elevator dinged at the bottom.

“I fucking enjoy tempting you,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s neck before he walked out with him and Beauty to the car, and opened Lee’s door first, like a gentleman.

Lee let Beauty in and then slid in after her, setting his bag down on the floor at his feet. He buckled in and scratched the dog under her chin. “You’ll keep daddy busy, won’t you? Yes, I thought so.”

“Daddy?” Nigel laughed, as Beauty closed her eyes with happiness at the chin scratching, and leaned against Lee’s seat as Nigel began to drive.

“You own her now, you’re the daddy,” Lee explained, smiling over at Nigel, aware he wasn’t keen on this information.  
Nigel just gave Lee a look, but reached over to take his hand as he drove Lee through the downtown streets, headed back toward the grooming shop, slowly. “So, what time is your first appointment?”

“About an hour, I need to shower in back though and set up,” Lee said, aware that Nigel was taking his time, savoring their moments together. He squeezed his hand.

“Well, fuck, we could have showered at my place,” Nigel grumbled, and gave Lee a look, lacing their fingers together. “I could help get all your dirty places clean,” he purred.

“I might take you up on that next time.” Lee didn’t have the time right now to let Nigel get frisky with him, but the thought of seeing him again soon did sound appealing. One more time wouldn’t hurt…

That put a smile on Nigel’s face, and he stopped at a red light, then looked over at Lee. “Yeah? Tonight?”

“Sure,” Lee said with a slow nod, aware he might not be the best of company that evening, but he also knew Nigel was not the sort of man to take no for an answer, either. “Tonight.”

Nigel leaned over and kissed Lee on the mouth, slowly. Someone honked at them from behind, impatient now that the light had turned green and Nigel pulled away to glare at him, then got out of the car, and stalked back to the honking vehicle to lean in the window.

“Nigel!” Lee called after him, traffic starting to be held up, and looked behind them as Nigel seemed to be talking to the other man. Lee looked at his phone, and then pocketed it again.

The car sped away with squealing tires, and Nigel got back in, then started to drive. “What an asshole,” he muttered, and took Lee’s hand again. 

Lee wasn’t sure if he should be amused or annoyed, but honestly it didn’t matter. “He’s gone now.”

“God fucking forbid he wait two fucking seconds while I kiss you,” Nigel sighed, and took a right, toward the shop, then smiled a little at Lee.

“Well, he knows now how much it  _ bothers _ you, so…” Lee gestured with his free hand, and then kissed Nigel’s knuckles.

Nigel laughed again, and smiled at the way Lee kissed his knuckles. That was fucking sweet. “Yeah, he won’t do that again.” He stopped outside the groomer’s, and sighed, reluctant to say goodbye. “What time?”

“Same as yesterday?” Lee asked, with a grin, and leaned into kiss Nigel again, hands on his face.

“Yeah, same as yesterday. I’ll be here at five, gorgeous,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee deeply, as though to make sure Lee would not forget him.

Lee, even if he tried, could not ever forget Nigel. He kissed the Romanian roughly, and then slipped from the car. “I’ll see you then….  _ Daddy _ ,” Lee teased, and then shut the door of the car. He unlocked the store front and disabled the alarm, and went in, locking it back. 

Nigel watched Lee with a smirk on his face, and winked at him once the door was closed to the shop, then drove off to wreak havoc on an Italian enforcer, after he dropped Beauty off at home, first. 

Once he was sure Nigel was out of sight, Lee cleaned up and changed into his running gear, and slipped out the back, running into town aways, toward the hospital where the chemo clinic was. He greeted Bertha at the desk, gave her poodle a hair ribbon as he always did, and then was seated to do his few hours of treatment. Once done, Lee took something for nausea that would last him long enough until he got home, or in this case, to the shop.

He managed a few pets after that, drank water, and had saltines. By the time five rolled around, Lee was wishing he hadn’t promised anything. He stuffed a few more crackers into his mouth, and locked up, bag over his shoulder, alarm set, then rested up against the shop window, waiting for Nigel.

Nigel’s car pulled up again, with Beauty in the back seat. She wagged at Lee, obviously familiar with him now, and Nigel got out. He was casually dressed this time, in tight jeans that showed off his long legs, and a deep v-neck t-shirt under a leather jacket, deep enough to show a little of his chest hair. “Hey, gorgeous.”

“Mmm, look at you, all handsome and I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes,” Lee chuckled, tiredly, and pushed off the window and into Nigel’s arms, resting his nose against his pulse, just breathing there a moment. “You smell good.”

Nigel smiled, and wrapped his arms around Lee, hugging him before he kissed his cheek. “Want a ride home to change?” he offered. Lee sounded a little tired.

“Unless you don’t mind the dirty clothes smell,” Lee said, pulling back to look at Nigel, and then kissed his lips with his dry, parched ones. He slipped his fingers into his pocket and pulled out chapstick. “Sorry.” He slathered it on without another thought.

“I’d like to see your place,” Nigel said watching Lee coat his lips with the salve. “Long day of shaving poodles?”

“Yeah. You know how those poodles are,” Lee said as he rolled his eyes. “You won’t find my place that interesting…”

“I don’t give a shit, I’ve lived in some rat-infested hell holes in Bucharest,” Nigel said, and guided Lee to the car. He really did seem … tired.

“Okay.” Lee got in, buckled up, and then tied a little bow from his pocket to Beauty’s fur. “See? Perfect.”

Beauty let Lee put the bow in her fur, just against her ear, and Nigel laughed when he got in. “Now she’s a fucking supermodel,” he chuckled, and put on his shades before he put the car in gear. “Where to, gorgeous?”

“Right at the light, go down Main, and then two lefts. It’s a brown brick building,” Lee said, pulling another little ribbon out and  gently tied it into Nigel’s hair with a small smile.

Nigel reached up and felt the ribbon, then looked at it in the rearview mirror and rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Fucking decorating me?” he asked, as he turned right at the light.

“You said I could,” Lee hummed, deep in his chest, and then coughed a little into his sleeve.

Nigel brushed the bow out with a swipe of his hand, but tucked it carefully into the pocket of his leather jacket, and took a left. “Maybe when we’re at home,” he smirked, and took Lee’s hand again, when he stopped coughing.

This time Lee laughed and stuffed another ribbon into Nigel’s jacket pocket, just out of playful spite. “Fine. Home only.”

Nigel turned again, and looked at Lee with a smirk and shining eyes. “No fucking bear decorating in public,” he muttered, affectionately. He was quickly becoming smitten, and even when he had been working earlier, shooting an uncooperative enforcer between the eyes, then dumping the body, he thought of Lee the whole time.

They rolled up to the brick building. Lee opened his door and got his bag. “Promise, not in public.” He slid out and let Beauty out, who stayed at his side, and then shut the door, then fished his keys from his pocket.

Nigel followed after locking the car, and looked around the building. It wasn’t the best neighborhood, that was for certain, but it was hardly a slum, either. “How long have you lived here?”

“Six months,” Lee said, and unlocked the front door of the building, letting Nigel and Beauty in first, and then shut and locked it again behind them. They checked his mail, and then lead them up the first few flights of stairs, and then finally to his front door. 

Lee unlocked the door and stepped in, closing it behind them all. His place was a flat, a small kitchenette, a closet in the corner, a rack of wine and a small table with his Buddhist statues and candles. There wasn’t one television or radio. No dresser, a line of used worn running shoes by the door, and his bed, which wasn’t much more than a king-sized mattress on the floor in the middle of the place.

Nigel looked around, quietly, frowning a little as he looked at the emptiness of the place. “Six months?”

“I hate decorating and I don’t have attachments. My main home is in New Orleans,” Lee explained, and then started to undress, kicking his running sneakers he’d left on all day after the treatment to beside the door and then tossed his shirt into the hamper in the bathroom.

Nigel walked around, and looked at the long line of sneakers. “But you fucking love shoes…” he observed, as Beauty sniffed at them, curiously, then went to the bed and sniffed at that, too.

“I train for marathons. Those are all essential.” Lee grinned. “I love my running and I love my wine. What can I say?”

“This is the apartment of a guy ready to ditch town with an hour’s notice,” Nigel said, with a penetrating look at Lee. “I’ve been that fucking guy. I know what it looks like.”

Lee shimmied out of his pants and underwear and threw those into his hamper too. “Are you accusing me of something?” he asked, rummaging through the bare closet, taking a pair of underwear from the top shelf, a shirt off the hanger, and pair of jeans.

Nigel looked around again, then at Lee. “What the fuck would I accuse you of?” he asked, with a raised, sandy eyebrow at Lee as he changed. “Just saying you look ready to leave in a fucking hurry. Are you in trouble?”

Lee shook his head, stepping into the jeans that hung a little baggy on him, an older pair from when he moved here, bigger now, suggesting he used to weigh a bit more. “No trouble, Nigel.”

Nigel walked closer to Lee, quietly, and watched him dress as he leaned one shoulder against the wall, a strangely thoughtful look on his face as Beauty settled on the mattress on the floor. He stepped forward, and cupped Lee’s face with both strong hands, then looked at him very, very seriously. “If you are in trouble, I can get you out of it, Lee. Understand? I can do a  _ lot _ .”

The thought was thrilling, and sweet all at once. Lee wished that Nigel could just fix this.  He gazed up at the bearish Romanian. “I'm not in trouble,” he insisted, not wanting to push Nigel out just yet, but he knew he was being selfish.

Nigel frowned, and sighed, shifting his jaw as he looked at Lee with glittering, dark eyes. If Lee was running from someone, if he owed someone money … Nigel could make that go away, and he would, with a snap of a neck, or as many necks as necessary. “It’s a shitty place to live. Not safe,” he grunted.

“It's simple, I don't need a lot, Nigel,” Lee reassured him softly, touching his chest. Lee was shirtless still, on his arm was the puncture mark from the IV earlier that day.

“You need a fucking alarm system,” Nigel grumbled, and then stopped when he spotted the puncture mark, and looked at it. “The fuck is this?”

“Stop,” Lee said, and dropped his arms and pulled away from Nigel, and put his thermal shirt on, long and covering. 

“Did you shoot up?” Nigel asked, matter-of-factly.

Lee shot Nigel a hurt look. “No. Do I look like a junkie?” Well, on second thought, he might, considering.

“I’ve met a lot of junkies. They look like almost fucking anybody, Lee,” Nigel responded, with gritty calm in his voice.

Lee had covered them up with his shirt, and they hadn’t been noticed yet, as they were scars and faded for the most part, a lot of his illness inside of him now, but he had spots that had been removed, leaving scars behind. He shook his head. “I’m not a junkie,” he insisted, the feeling of his heart racing suddenly made his stomach heave, and he paled, trying to stand his ground with Nigel, and not run off to the bathroom.

Nigel stared at Lee, his mind keenly aware something was going on. “Then what the fuck is going on? You live with nothing, you have needle marks in your arm, but you fucking tell me you’re not in trouble? I’m not fucking stupid, Lee, I know when I’m not getting the whole fucking story.”

“I’m… sick,” Lee said, finally, cutting his attachment now with Nigel, because this was where things always went one of two ways, and neither one was good for Lee, or the other person.

“Sick?” Nigel repeated, frowning. “What do you mean sick? AIDS?” he asked, his voice soft and rough as he stood close to Lee, his expression intense.

“Cancer.” Lee shrugged his lean shoulders, with a smile. “I don’t form attachments to people or things, because I know it will hurt them and  _ me _ in the end.” He gestured around the room, brows raised. “I’m in Plainsboro for treatment.”

Nigel stared, speechless for a second at Lee, stunned silent as he stared at his thin, but handsome face, and swallowed hard. “Well, you don’t fucking look like you have cancer.”

“I have good days. I have bad days,” Lee sighed, but his stomach gave once more and he held up and hand and ran into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. He leaned over the toilet, on his knees and heaved the crackers and bile.

Nigel watched, and listened to Lee puking his guts out in the other room.  _ Cancer _ … Beauty came to the door and sniffed at it, then laid down near it, waiting with Nigel for Lee to come out again. Lee had good days, and bad days, and … how many were left of either?

Five minutes later, Lee appeared, surprised to see Nigel and his dog still there. “Sticking around for the after show?” His eyes were rimmed red, his body sagged against the door frame, exhausted.

Nigel was lounging on the mattress with Beauty, petting her as he looked up at Lee. “So, yesterday was a good day. Today is a bad day, right?” Nigel asked with a heavy sigh, looking years older as he gazed at Lee.

“Yeah. I go twice a week. Those days are always bad days,” Lee said, quietly, but he didn’t move, he felt terrible for Nigel having been brought into this. “Look, you don’t have to stick around. You can go and we don’t have to see each other again. You can forget you ever walked into my little shop.”

Nigel huffed a bitter laugh, and stood up, shaking his head at Lee. “You think I’m some shallow bastard, don’t you? I must just drive around and pick up whoever the fuck I want, bring them home, take them over my table, right? You don’t fucking know me, Lee. I’m not a fucking angel but I  _ mean _ what I say.”

“I don’t know you, Nigel,” Lee breathed, rubbing his chest, swallowing. “I don’t know what you want from me. I told you what I don’t tell anyone I sleep with. Those who found out usually left.”

“What if I don’t fucking leave?” Nigel asked, boldly, and took a step closer to Lee as Lee rubbed his own chest.

“Why would you stay?” Lee asked, staring at Nigel as he got closer. “Why? I’m not getting better. You don’t know me.”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t I? Because you’re going to die?” Nigel asked, with a fierce look in his eyes, and shook his head. “You’ve seen my fucking scars. I could go before you do. It all turns to blood in the blink of an eye, Lee …”

“Why would you want that sadness?” Lee asked, pushing off the door frame, he barely walked to the kitchenette, and grabbed a glass for water from the tap. “You could have anyone out there. Male or female.”

Nigel followed Lee, on sure, quiet feet, and reached around him to pour the water into the glass. Lee’s hands were shaking hard. “I’ve had anyone I wanted. Turns out I didn’t want them. I want you. I fucking like  _ you _ ,” Nigel said, against Lee’s ear, and put the glass in both of Lee’s hands as he put his own palm against the counter, near Lee’s hip. “You make me fucking laugh.”

“For how much longer?” Lee asked, taking easy sips of the water, both hands around the glass, warmed by Nigel’s hands. “It kills me to know I can’t have you a lifetime.”

Nigel’s heart skipped a beat at that, and he bowed his head to kiss Lee’s shoulder, through his shirt. “I told you, I’m a fucking romantic. I’ll take however long you have. None of us make it out alive, I’ve grown up around death since I was a little fucking kid. I’m not a fucking coward, Lee. I know what I’m getting into.”

Lee sagged back against Nigel, finishing his water. “You want me like this? On bad days too?” Lee would be fine with good days, it was so much easier.

“ _ You’re _ the one puking, not me,” Nigel reasoned, and wrapped both arms around Lee, letting him lean into his chest. “I’ve seen puke before for fuck’s sake, I can handle it.”

“I don’t do attachments. I haven’t for twelve years,  Nigel. Twelve years, I’ve fought this,” Lee sighed, setting his glass down, head against Nigel’s shoulder, leaning back against him for support.

“That’s a long fucking time,” Nigel whispered, and held Lee, able to feel him almost sag against his chest, and turned him around to hug him properly, almost hard enough that Lee could pick up his feet, and he wouldn’t fall. “Do you know how much longer you have?” Nigel whispered, and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Up in the air, I’m trying a new chemo at Princeton Teaching Hospital,” Lee said, looking into Nigel’s eyes, letting him hold him, for once.

Nigel could feel the way Lee stilled in his arms, like Beauty did when he first picked her up and took her out of her former owner’s yard after shooting him in the head. Neither of them were used to being held.  All three of them, Nigel, Beauty, and Lee, had been made slightly wild with hardship and isolation, and they had all fallen in together. “The chemo is what’s making you puke, right?” Nigel asked.

Slowly, Lee nodded, less lively, less healthy looking with paler skin. “It's a side effect.” Lee knew letting Nigel this close would only bring his inevitable end much harder on them both.

“Is your hair going to fall off?” Nigel asked, frankly, and walked Lee back to the mattress on the floor, lying on it before he pulled Lee down with him.

“It might. Has before,” Lee replied, watching Nigel carefully even as he laid down mostly over the older man.

Nigel shrugged, and ran his palm down Lee’s back, slowly. “I don’t give a fuck if it does. I’ve got enough hair for both of us.”

Lee ran his hand under Nigel’s shirt and palmed his hairy chest, nuzzling his nose into his neck there.  “Yeah, you do.” He could not attach himself here, and yet all he wanted to do was curl up here and stay there until he didn’t have to think anymore.

Nigel deserved better.

Nigel knew for a goddamned fact he did not deserve better. He was a killer, had been from an early age, and he was hardly a saint even if he’d never pulled a trigger. “Gonna puke more?” Nigel asked, bluntly.

“It’s possible,” Lee said, and sighed out against Nigel’s neck, curling his fingers through his chest hair. “I can puke on my own though.”

“Not gonna argue with that,” Nigel sighed, and closed his eyes as Lee laid close to him. “When you’re done puking, you can come back to bed.”

“It  _ is _ my bed,” Lee whispered, his arm and leg wrapped over Nigel’s chest and hips, allowing himself a moment's peace, to just enjoy a moment of tenderness before coming to his senses.

Nigel hauled Lee even closer with his long arms, and nuzzled Lee’s short hair. “Going to kick me the fuck out of it?” he murmured, a warm smirk in his deep voice. “Or do I have to earn my keep?”

“You wouldn’t let me kick you out,” Lee whispered, taking a deep, deep breath, and then lifted his head, looking down at Nigel. “Earn it? You don’t like my place.”

“You don’t even have a bed, you sleep on the fucking floor,” Nigel laughed, which made his dark eyes crinkle at the edges. “Last time I did that, I was in a crack den.”

“Then get out,” Lee said, not at all concerned about what Nigel thought on the way he lived. It worked for Lee, and when his time came there’d be less to worry about, or if he had to move to another city for another treatment, then there was less to burden himself with. “This is me. At least while I’m here in Jersey.”

“What’s your place in New Orleans like?” Nigel asked, as he strummed his fingers over Lee’s short hair.

“ A loft like this one, but I have a bed frame and a dresser. A big closet with lots of clothes I never wear. Balcony that looks out into the streets of New Orleans,” Lee explained with a little smile. The sickness had taken most of his life and turned his needs around. All he needed was in this one room.

“Do you ever go back, go see your bar sometimes?” Nigel asked as Beauty came and snuggled up behind Lee so that he was sandwiched between the two hairy animals in bed, warm and snuggly.

“I’ll get a month or two off of treatments that work well, and I’ll go back to check. The manager I hired is set to take over when I die, he’s seen there since the start,” Lee explained, and rested his head back on Nigel’s shoulder.

“They can’t give you fucking chemo in New Orleans?” Nigel rumbled, and petted Beauty with his hand as she rested her big head against Lee’s back.

“It's a little more than chemo. They're different drug trials. They want me to stay close to the hospital here to be monitored. For science.” Lee knew this was something. Nigel likely didn't understand, and as nice as Nigel was, he didn't expect him to have the patience for all it involved.

Nigel would have laughed aloud if he realized Lee thought he was  _ nice _ . That certainly wasn’t what he knew he was. He was a brutal man, and given the right person, he could be devoted, even kind, but that came with a jealous streak from Hell and a fiery temper at the slightest hint of being rejected or overlooked by someone he made a priority. “If you fucking say so, I’m not a doctor. Sounds as bad as methadone.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Lee said, quietly, his stomach had settled for now, since he’d put nothing else on it, but soon he’d get sicker from not being able to eat. He had no idea what sort of man Nigel was, only that he took someone’s dog when the dog was in need, and maybe killed the man, but Lee wouldn’t think about that part. Nigel didn’t want to expand his background, and Lee could understand needing to keep somethings to himself.

“It’s pretty much like poison,” Nigel grumbled, and his eyes went distant for a second, then focused on Lee again. “Hungry? I’m fucking starving.”

Lee hardly let this keep him down. He kissed the corner of Nigel’s mouth. “I should try to eat. Did you want to go out or…?”

“You want to go out? I thought you felt like shit,” Nigel murmured, and turned his head to kiss Lee’s lips. He couldn’t just walk away from Lee, not because of something Lee couldn’t even control. Lee wasn’t a cheating bastard, he wasn’t an asshole. He was sick, for fuck’s sake. It was unfair. There were so many people Nigel knew who deserved what Lee had, and worse, and they were healthy. Lee was the best thing Nigel had ever found, and he was sick. The world was a fucking cruel place.

“I try not to sit and wallow in my self pity,” Lee chuckled lightly, not letting Nigel kiss him too long, he’d not rinsed his mouth out thoroughly yet-- he hadn’t expected Nigel to still be here.

“Go brush your teeth,” Nigel laughed, with a wince at the taste, but kissed Lee’s neck a few times as he said it, “and we’ll go sit somewhere with a patio or something, get some sun. Beauty can come, too.”

Lee nodded slowly and crawled out of his bed, and padded across the wooden floors to the bathroom. After brushing his teeth, he walked back out and slipped his shoes on and grabbed his favorite sweater.

Nigel was browsing on his phone, frowning at the screen when he looked up at Lee and laughed. “What the fuck is that sweater?” he chuckled as he stood smoothly, in one fluid motion and walked to Lee to tug on the thick, patterned wool. “Old men wear this to watch football in pubs.”

“It’s warm,” Lee said, smoothing it down with one hand. “It’s my favorite.” the treatments left him colder feeling and this was his comfort sweater. He wasn’t at all upset by Nigel’s comment, either.

Nigel smoothed his hand over the sweater, and kissed Lee again, softly, then rested their faces together. “You’re cold?” he asked, as he wrapped his arms around Lee’s waist. It was an ugly ass sweater, but it was Lee’s.

“It happens. I’ll be fine.” Lee wrapped his arms around Nigel’s shoulders, and sighed. “Let’s go find a place to eat. Do I need my bag?” he asked, quirking a suggestive brow at Nigel. “Or will we be returning here?”

Nigel took his leather jacket off. It was warmed by his skin, and softer than it looked, a darker shade of bronze than his skin. He put it on Lee, over his big sweater, and did it up for him. “We’ll go to my place after,” Nigel said, decisively, as he zipped the jacket up over Lee’s chest.

Lee smiled at Nigel’s gallantry and then kissed him chastely for it. He pulled away and grabbed his bag, pushing clean underwear and socks into it and his running shorts and a pair of sneakers. “Are you stocked up on condoms?” he asked, just in case, if not he had a few more.

Nigel laughed, and leaned one shoulder against the door-frame as he waited for Lee. “Got a new box today, we’re good for another night or so,” he said, with a wink, and petted Beauty when she walked over to lean against his leg.

Laughing dryly, Lee did up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Or so.” He unlocked the door and and let them out and then locked it back, shoving keys into his pocket. Lee slipped his arm around Nigel’s waist, nestling himself in under one arm.

Nigel’s eyes roved around the stairways and the street beyond, always alert as he let Lee lock the door, and scoffed at it. “You need a better lock, gorgeous,” he sighed. He could feel himself getting protective, and that was the kiss of death for Nigel, as soon as he got protective … he knew he was falling for someone, hard.

“I have nothing of value in there but the wine,” Lee said, and snuggled into Nigel as they walked back down the stairways slowly, and then out the door again, to Nigel’s car.

“ _ You _ fucking sleep there,” Nigel argued as he opened the door for Beauty, then Lee, unable to stop staring at Lee’s addictively perfect features as he got into the car.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” Lee said in a sing-song tone and buckled into the seat.

“I’ve done business here,” Nigel said, after he got into the driver’s seat, and backed out of the parking spot, then headed down the street, a restaurant in mind.

“In my building?” Lee blinked over at Nigel, hand up near Beauty’s face to pet her velvety soft ears.

“Yeah, on the other side, a few months ago. I know shit happens there,” Nigel said, and his arm flexed as he shifted the car, headed over a bridge.

“Does well to keep my head down then, doesn’t it?” Lee said, and really he didn’t talk to his neighbors, he came and went as he pleased for six months and never had any trouble.

“Probably does,” Nigel agreed as he slipped his fingers between Lee’s and felt how chilled they were, even with the sweater and leather coat. “We’re going to a rooftop patio, nice and sunny. I’ll tell them to start the fireplace for you.”

“Get me a glass of red wine and I'll be fine,” Lee insisted, not wanting Nigel to go out of his way too much. He squeezed Nigel's hand softly.

“I’ll get you anything you fucking want, gorgeous,” Nigel murmured, and kissed Lee’s knuckles before he turned off of the main road into an artsy neighborhood with lots of restaurants, then found a parking spot. “Isn’t there anything they can give you to stop the puking? I mean what the fuck are doctors doing that they aren’t thinking about this? Golf?”

Chuckling, Lee pulled a bottle of pills from his pocket. “These help a little. But they also give me a headache. So I have to weigh out what's worse.”

Nigel parked, and looked over at Lee, the wheels in his head turning behind his dark eyes. “I smoke up to fix a hangover. Can’t you smoke up?” he asked, and got out to let Beauty out of the car, snapping a leash on her collar before he walked her to the sidewalk.

Lee got out, leaving his bag in the car again, in the back, and stepped up to the sidewalk with them. “Weed? I could ask my doctor about it.”

Nigel wrapped his arm around Lee’s shoulders as they reached the long staircase up to the rooftop restaurant. At the edge of the staircase on the sidewalk was a hostess station, which Nigel approached. “Two for dinner, and a dog.”

“Sir,” the hostess began, “we can’t allow dogs in the-”   
  
A few large bills crossed the station and she looked up the stairs, then smiled at Lee and Nigel as she palmed them. “He’s an assistance dog, right? That’s completely fine, this way, please.”

Lee raised one brow over at Nigel but said nothing to undermine him. He looped his arm around Nigel’s, letting him lead the way after the hostess, who seated them at a nice table by the firepit in the middle.

Nigel thanked her, and sat down gracefully, while Beauty curled up between their feet. Her coat was getting shiny, and thicker, and she was filling out, starting to suit her name. Nigel passed the wine list to Lee with a wink. “Pick out whatever you want, angel.”

Taking the list, Lee crossed his feet at the ankles under the table, humming as he skimmed it. “Maybe a nice Pinot, peppery.”

Nigel rested his leg against Lee’s gazing at him as he looked over the list. “I’ll try whatever you pick,” Nigel promised. The waiter came over with water for them, and a bowl of water for Beauty, and offered them food menus. “Don’t go anywhere, he’s ordering a bottle of wine,” Nigel said, bluntly, before the waiter could leave again.

“We’ll take the 2011 Russian River Valley Pinot,” Lee said and set the line list down and then picked up the food menu. His stomach rolled, and he sipped water to keep it at bay.

Nigel watched Lee closely, his sharp eyes catching every movement of his expressive face. He licked his lips, and tilted his head at Lee. “You okay?” he asked, sure he could see Lee get paler by the minute. “We can get this shit to go.”

“I’ll take the pills,” Lee reasoned and pulled the container from his pocket and spilled them into his hand. He washed them down with the water. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast.” He stuffed them back into his pocket and smiled charmingly over at Nigel. “Don’t start looking at me like that.”

“Like what? I’m just undressing you with my fucking eyes,” Nigel said, defensively as he took a swallow of his cold water. He wasn’t soft-hearted, for fuck’s sake … he just didn’t want Lee to puke.

Lee rolled his big blue eyes at Nigel and folded his arms over his chest. “Have you gotten to the sweater yet?” he chided.

“I started with your pants,” Nigel smirked, and blinked, just realizing what Lee said. “Why the fuck haven’t you eaten all day?”

“I went to the treatment when you dropped me off, that was right after we had breakfast. I threw up once after, jogged back to the shop, worked, ate some crackers, and now I’m with you,” Lee explained, matter of factly. 

Nigel shook his head as the wine arrived, and he waved his hand for the water to pour some for Lee so he could test it. “That’s not fucking good for you, how the hell are you going to get better if you don’t fucking eat?” Great. Now he sounded like a grandmother. What the fuck was happening to him?

Lee let the waiter pour and then tested the wine, and nodded for him to go ahead. The waiter poured two glasses and left the bottle. Lee took a long sip and then sighed, gazing over at Nigel. “Because I wouldn’t know anything about getting better? I haven’t been doing this for twelve years?”

“Fine, none of my fucking business, I guess,” Nigel muttered, as he gulped the wine, emptying half the glass in one swallow. Beauty laid her head on Lee’s feet, and closed her eyes.

“It’s not, Nigel. You’ve known me barely two days. I haven’t let anyone close enough to let them make it their business. Hell, I’ve never let anyone buy me dinner twice since I was diagnosed.” He licked his lips and set his wine down, hand shaking just a little as he reached to do so. “I like you Nigel, but you have to trust me on what I know works for  _ me _ .”

Nigel shrugged his wide shoulders again, and sighed through his nose, then finished his glass of wine with another swallow. “Your business.”

This was one of the reasons Lee never told anyone he slept with he was sick. People tended to treat him differently, and tell him how to take care of himself. He’d been alone so long he didn’t need to be dependent on anyone. He kicked Nigel’s foot. “Stop moping.”

“Not moping,” Nigel muttered, and ordered a beer from a passing waiter, then looked at Lee. “It’s none of my fucking business, you just said it.” It was hard to care, but not care too fucking much about Lee. Nigel was gripped with the unsettling urge to scoop him up and … help him.

Lee sighed and reached for his glass once more, quiet now and keeping to himself, he sipped his wine and enjoyed the sunset as it lit the sky shades of orange.

Nigel was very all or nothing. He was enamored, or he hated someone. It wasn’t something he know how to change, or soften. Black and white had saved his life, more than once, when someone turned on him, he had to shoot. He couldn’t indulge in gradients of feeling in the middle of a deal gone bad. Times like this, it bit him in the ass. “You want me to pretend like you’re not sick?” Nigel asked, honestly.

“No. I don’t want you to treat me differently,” Lee explained. “I’m the same person you met yesterday. I’ll still fuck your brains out later.”

Nigel burst out laughing at that, and took his beer when the waiter brought it to him, then took a swallow as he leaned back in his chair. “ _ You’re _ going to fuck me?”

Lee smiled, he’d gotten Nigel to laugh at least. Lee was a bottom, and he loved every second of it. “No. I would hate to take from your masculinity. It’s far too precious for that,” he teased.

Nigel tongued the sharp edges of his teeth and sipped his beer again, his tense mood broken like storm clouds. “I’m not a fucking bottom. Never have been, never will be,” he smirked, and leaned their knees together under the table. “Just like I don’t think you’ve been a top a day in your fucking life.”

“I tried  _ once _ , but I prefer my prostate tickled and my cock fisted,” Lee said, unashamed and louder than most people would have dared been heard talking about such a subject. “I knew when I saw you that you’d probably be the best sex of my life.”

Nigel’s eyes narrowed for a split second at the thought of Lee fucking someone else, no matter how much he knew that Lee had a past as colorful and sordid as his own. The moment passed, quickly, and Nigel hid a genuine smile in a smirk and a swallow of beer. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lee answered, making a face and waving his hand to say it was ‘sorta good’, but then he smiled and snatched Nigel’s free hand with his own. 

Nigel laughed again, and laced their fingers together, staring at Lee. “How the fuck do you do that, anyway?” He asked, in a low voice, and sipped his beer again, slowing down to enjoy it, now. The nightmares of Lee going home with someone else vanished. They’d never just … vanished before with anyone else Nigel cared about enough to be jealous over, they got stronger and worse until whoever it was left him … or he killed someone. Nigel was comfortable with his anger, but the jealousy was  _ fucking crazy _ . The jealousy burned like drinking bleach, and holding it down, letting it burn him from the inside out. Love made him insane.

“Do what?” Lee laughed, taking a sip of his wine, slowly, savoring it, feeling lighter now that Nigel wasn’t icy with him anymore.

Nigel wasn’t even sure what it was Lee did, besides make him feel … better, less like lashing out, less like turning his back on everyone. “Don’t know if you noticed but I’m not what anyone would call easy-fucking-going, Lee,” Nigel murmured with a smirk. “Most people can’t handle it. You do.”

“You probably hang out with a lot of people like you then, who aren’t easy going, but intense and violent, am I right?” Lee asked, canting his head at Nigel. “You can’t relax around people who are like that. I don’t let it get to me. I can’t.”

“Not always,” Nigel admitted, starting to open up a little more, his voice quiet as he turned the beer in his hand. “I almost got married once. She wasn’t like the people I’m usually around.”

Ah, right. Lee had pegged Nigel as bisexual. “What happened?”

Nigel shifted his jaw and looked at his beer, quiet for a moment. “She loved me, but I was too … intense, too angry, too dangerous. Her father hated me, hated what I did. She left at the last minute, a week before the wedding,” Nigel admitted softly, and took a drink, then looked at Lee.  “I decided to move to America. Everything in that fucking country reminded me of her.”

“How long have you been here?” Lee asked, curiously. He wasn’t a jealous type, how could he be? Too much energy.

“Three years,” Nigel said, and looked at the skyline of the city from the rooftop. “I’ve done well.”

“You’ve been in this city for three years? I’ve been here six months and this is the first I’m seeing you?” Lee asked, squeezing their hands together where they were twined, palm to palm.

“I didn’t have a fucking dog until a couple days ago,” Nigel chuckled, and squeezed Lee’s hand back. “If you groomed people you might have met me sooner.”

“Hair stylist? Now that’d be so cliche of me, wouldn’t it?” Lee grinned over at Nigel, and sipped his wine, slowly, letting it warm him a little, starting to feel less cold.

“Pet grooming is so fucking butch, yeah,” Nigel laughed, and ordered a huge burger with fries when the waiter returned.

Lee ordered the same, having not really looked the menu over, and handed them both to the waiter. “I had to take an online certification course to be able to groom those dogs, you know.”

Nigel laughed again, and nudged Lee with his leg under the table, over the sleeping dog. “Oh, I’m fucking sorry, your honor.”

Lee swerved his head and laughed. “Mhmm…” He took the last sip of his wine and set the glass down, for now.

“You have me fucking beat, didn’t finish high school,” Nigel shrugged, smirking at the thought. “Never needed to.”

“I went to college and dropped out. Not my thing,” Lee said. “I would never have guessed you didn’t finish high school. You delinquent you,” he teased.

Nigel rolled his eyes at that, and smiled. “What did you study?” he asked, wanting to know everything about Lee. 

“Business.” Lee shrugged, rubbing his thumb over the back of Nigel’s hand slowly. “So boring.”

“Fuck, I can’t imagine you stuck in an office somewhere,” Nigel grunted in disgust at the idea. “How long did you do that before you escaped?”

“A few years, and then I traveled a lot, learned about wine, that’s when I started my business plan for the bar, but I didn’t get it off the ground until  _ after _ I was diagnosed,” Lee explained, offering a little smile to Nigel. “Have you always done what you do?”

“I was pretty much born into it,” Nigel nodded, and laid his other hand over Lee’s, keeping them warm. “Can’t imagine anything else.”

“I still don’t know what it is you do, not for certain,” Lee said, watching Nigel’s profile as the sunset around them.

Nigel licked his shapely lips, and looked at Lee in the warm light of the setting sun. “You know those tough guys in the papers? The ones with the scary nicknames and a rap sheet longer than a bull’s cock?” Nigel reached over the table into his jacket, and took his cigarettes out of the pocket of the jacket Lee wore, lighting one before he took a slow drag, and exhaled it. “They’re flashy, famous as hell, and untouchable until something real bad happens to them? I keep those pansy-ass bitches in line, and if they get out of line, I’m the bad thing that happens to them.”

“You’re the one snuffs out the mob?” Lee asked, tilting his head, “Do you have a scary nickname?”

Thankfully, the restaurant was not crowded, no one was seated close enough to listen in, Nigel made sure of that. He chuckled, and sucked in another drag of his cigarette, making the paper and tobacco crackle before he breathed out smoke. “I’m just The Romanian.”

Lee sat back, closer to the fire pit now, and laughed. “Of course you are. I mean, that makes sense. That’s where you’re from…”

“The less they know about me, the better. I’m just The Romanian,” Nigel said with a smile, and watched Lee laugh. “A low profile keeps you alive.”

“So I get to know you, not the Romanian right?” Lee leaned forward and poured more wine into his glass. “And if I get to know the Romanian, does that mean I’m about to be snuffed out?”

“The only way you’ll ever get to know The Romanian is if someone’s fucking stupid enough to start shit with you and I catch them,” Nigel promised, with a nod. “Otherwise, he’s not worth knowing.”

“He sounds dark and dangerous. I bet he’s very sexy,” Lee flirted, rubbing his foot up Nigel’s leg to his knee.

Nigel smirked over at Lee and spread his thighs at the touch. “Gonna leave me for him, huh?” Nigel asked with a final sigh of blue-grey smoke before he stamped the butt out against his butter knife on the table. 

“I didn’t know we were together,” Lee teased, but moved his foot higher, against Nigel’s inner thigh. “Maybe you two can share me though…”

Nigel shook his head at Lee, not sure Lee understood the sort of fire he was playing with at the moment. “That’s the _ only _ person I’d ever fucking share you with,” he said, looking directly into Lee’s eyes across the table as the waiter brought their meals.

Just as Lee might not know what fire he was dealing with, Lee was sure Nigel wasn’t sure what he was getting into with Lee and his illness. The outcome was not a happy one no matter what happened today, tomorrow, or ten more years from now. “I could be happy with that.”

“Could be?” Nigel asked, as the waiter took his leave of their table. “Better be sure…”

“I… can be sure, if you’re sure. You need to be sure, too,” Lee sighed, and leaned over to snag a fry from his plate, his medication having kicked in and his hunger returning.

“I’m fucking sure, gorgeous,” Nigel said, honestly. Cancer was something he didn’t know a lot about, but he could fix that, he wasn’t stupid. Nigel was not a man of half measures, and he knew without a single doubt that Lee was different enough, special enough that he’d be a fucking idiot not to grab the chance while he had it.

Lee’s hands shook as he took the pickles off his hamburger and set them aside and then slathered it in ketchup. “Do you… want to come to treatment with me on Friday?”

Nigel looked up at Lee, surprised. “Yeah, of fucking course I do,” he answered immediately, and took a large bite of his burger, starving by now. What the hell did treatment mean? A lot of drugs, probably. He swallowed, and licked his lips again, “just … wait with you while you have it? Do you need me to do anything?”

“Entertain me while I sit there for a few hours and get chemicals pumped into me,” Lee said, making it seem like no big deal. “I usually bring music.” He put his burger together again and leaned over to take a bite.

Nigel took notice that Lee didn’t like pickles, and filed that away in the back of his mind. God, he was fucking falling for him. “I can do that,” Nigel smirked, after he swallowed his own bite of burger, and fed a few fries to Beauty, who wagged, her long tail hitting both of their legs. “I’ll take off my shirt. You won’t even notice you’re getting meds.”

“You might distract everyone then,” Lee chuckled around a bite of his food. He chewed and swallowed and sat back to let his body get used to that one bite before another was taken. “You might give Bertha a heart attack.”

“Who the fuck is Bertha?” Nigel asked, one eyebrow raised as he finished his beer.

Lee chuckled. “She the lady at the reception desk where I check in. She has a poodle that sits with her and likes to get pets from everyone.”

“We’ll bring Beauty, too,” Nigel said and smirked at Lee. “Is Bertha the old lady with a poodle you said you couldn’t be late for?”

“Yes,” Lee sighed, but smiled over at Nigel. “I didn’t lie.” He reached for his burger and took another bite, and then another once the first had settled and nothing seemed to want to come up again.

“Sneaky, underhanded little asshole,” Nigel said, fondly, and brushed their knees together as he let Beauty have the last bite of his burger, which she ate, happily, with more noisy wagging under the table.

Lee reached for his glass of wine and washed down his burger with it, and then took another bite and licked the ketchup from his fingers. “You’re the first person I’ve told, that I’ve slept with.”

“I’m not fucking upset,” Nigel said, and took Lee’s hand across the table, then raised it to his mouth so he could nip at Lee’s salty fingertips with his teeth. “I know. You don’t want fucking pity. Not going to give you any, gorgeous.”

Admittedly, Lee was still worried he might get some, and tried to convey it as much as possible to Nigel without saying it, but for now at least it seemed Nigel understood. Maybe this wouldn’t be terrible. Even still, he had to remind himself not to form too much of an attachment. He curled his fingers against Nigel’s lips. “Thank you.”

Nigel kissed Lee’s palm and offered him a fry. “Want dessert?”

“Just you.” Lee didn’t want to upset what was already in his system. He bit the fry and sucked the rest of it into his mouth, and then finished his wine.

“I’m always on the menu,” Nigel chuckled, and gave Beauty the last fry, then laughed as her tail wagged so hard it almost upset the table.

Lee grinned and pushed his plate to the middle, half eaten burger he knew he couldn’t finish. “Can’t wait then.”

Nigel waved down the waiter for their bill, and held Lee’s hand over the table. They weren’t getting attached, not at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Not beta'd, we edit our own stuff so if we missed something just awful, send us a message on Tumblr please.  
> 2) We take a few liberties with the medicated brownies, it could take longer, but *shrug*  
> 3) things are moving fast, but if you had cancer, wouldn't you make the most of it? Hmm.

Friday came quickly. Nigel coaxed Lee into sleeping at his place on Thursday night, so they could just drive to Lee’s appointment from there. He laid awake with his arms around Lee for a long while, unable to jump right out of bed, but Beauty was there, waiting to be let out. He kissed Lee’s face, pulled himself out of bed, threw on jeans and a t-shirt and took Beauty out for a piss before he started breakfast. Eggs and bacon, his specialty.

Lee grumbled and rolled over when Nigel left, and then slipped out of bed, and got dressed. He put his bag by the door, and went to the kitchen. Slipping his arms around Nigel from behind. “My favorite,” he murmured against his shoulder.

“My shitty bacon and eggs?” Nigel asked with a chuckle, and looked back at Lee over his shoulder. “Or me?”

“Both,” Lee admitted, and kissed Nigel’s shoulder again, hands clasped together around his middle. He still couldn’t believe he was letting someone come with him for treatment, let alone someone he was sleeping with…

“Get a plate, almost ready,” Nigel yawned, and flipped one of the eggs in the pan as Beauty nudged Lee’s leg to greet him, less and less shy by the day.

Lee let go and got two plates down and set them beside Nigel, and then squatted down to pet Beauty, giving her lots of scratches and pets. “Morning to you too.”

Beauty gave Lee’s chin a shy lick, then looked hopefully at the bacon as Nigel put everything on plates with another yawn, and stretched one shoulder until it popped. “I fucking forgot coffee. Fuck mornings.”

"We can get some when we go,” Lee suggested, broke off some of his bacon for Beauty and tossed it down to her. He then hopped up on the counter, sat his plate in his lap, and started to eat, slowly.

Beauty jumped up to catch her piece of bacon and ate it fast, then licked her chops, and sat perfectly, hoping for more as Nigel leaned against the counter and ate, barely awake. “They can’t do evening treatments for fuck’s sake?”

“I haven’t asked,” Lee said, forking the eggs into his mouth. “I guess that’s not a bad idea. I could go home and sleep off the nausea I guess. But then I’d be busy and no date nights with you.”

“We could watch shitty American television and lay on the couch,” Nigel laughed, then tossed Beauty a little piece of bacon.

“Sounds appalling,” Lee scrunched up his nose. He wasn’t one for television, but he doubted it mattered much, he’d probably be sleeping.

“Doesn’t fucking matter,” Nigel said as he stuffed his face, and closed his eyes like he was going to fall asleep again for a second. Like a bear, he was not good at waking up, or lumbering out of his cave at an early hour. “I’ll give you some weed, you won’t puke, and you can stare at my chest hair all night.”

Lee laughed out loud, and covered his mouth with the back of his hand, chewing his bacon. “Now that sounds like heaven.” He reached over and ran his hand through Nigel’s hair. “I’ll get my shoes and we can go get some drive thru coffee.”

“Okay, okay,” Nigel sighed, and rummaged around for his cigarettes. He lit one and let it dangle from his lips as he shoved his feet into boots and pulled his leather jacket on. “Coffee. The biggest fucking coffee…”

Lee got down and slipped into his shoes and then bent over to do them up. “As much as you want.”

Nigel watched and then palmed Lee’s ass from behind, admiring it. It was utterly perfect. “I’d like this more…”

Straightening again, Lee pressed back into Nigel’s hand and slid his arm up and around his shoulders, back to his chest, and kissed his jaw. “Over coffee?”

“I’d take your ass over coffee any day of the week,” Nigel rumbled, and stretched his neck a little as Lee kissed him, palming his ass slowly.

“Well, we can have a quick fuck, or we can have coffee,” Lee whispered, nibbling up to Nigel’s ear slowly. 

Nigel groaned, and palmed Lee’s ass with both hands, then tossed his cigarette into an ashtray, and turned Lee around for a hot, probing kiss. “Yeah?” he asked, hands already at Lee’s belt. 

“Yeah-” Lee started to reply, but kissed Nigel back instead, tongues sliding together perfectly. He started to push his fingers up and under Nigel’s shirt, skimming the line of hair from navel to his chest.

Nigel groped Lee’s ass harder, and undid Lee’s jeans, quickly, then palmed him with a groan. “Fuck … already hard for you.”

“Take me over the counter,” Lee whispered, undoing Nigel’s belt and then his jeans, gripping his hard cock in one hand, working him over.

Nigel groaned and walked Lee to the counter, kissing him hard for his bossiness. His cock throbbed, thick and ready. Nigel bent Lee over the counter and crouched down, spread his cheeks, and began to rim him without warning, tongue plunging in deep and fast.

Lee planted his hands on the counter, jeans around his ankles, as he moaned hard into the marbled top. “Fuck, Nigel-” He ground back against the Romanian’s tongue.

Nigel groaned, tonguing Lee hard and fast before he grabbed a condom from Lee’s jeans where they were pooled on the floor, and pulled back to stand up. “I love the sounds you make when I tongue you, like you’re going to fucking fall apart from it,” Nigel whispered as he rolled the condom on.

“If your tongue were big enough I’d like you just to fuck me with that,” Lee teased, spreading his legs as far as he could get them to go with his jeans still on. He looked over his shoulder at Nigel, biting his lip. “Come on, my bear…”

Nigel slapped Lee’s ass after he poured cooking oil over his cock, and drove himself into him with a moan. No matter how many times they fucked, it was always incredible.  Nigel pulled Lee back over his cock by his hips, hard, and began to screw him hard and fast, right away, they had no time to be slow.

Lee moaned Nigel’s name, gripping the side of the counter, panting breaths into the shiny black marble as his ass was pummeled. “Harder-” he demanded.

Nigel growled and leaned down to bite Lee’s neck from the back as he fucked him ruthlessly over the counter, hard enough that his hips bruised Lee’s ass with every slap. “Your ass was made for my cock,” Nigel growled, sweating. 

Heated pleasure overwhelmed his senses all at once, and Lee writhed under Nigel, his own cock trapped against the counter, sliding against the cool surface as he was fucked hotly from behind. “Yes, yes… it is,” he managed, not denying the spark and connection they had, how everything just fit. 

Nigel reached around Lee, and gripped his cock in his hand, tightly, then started to stroke, hard and fast, panting in Lee’s ear as they stole a moment to fuck like animals before Lee went in for his treatment. “We’ll smell like we just fucked, everyone will know.”

“Heaven forbid a gay dying man get fucked,” Lee gasped out, his chest heaving now as heat pooled and started to boil over at the base of his spine. “Fuck, Nigel, I’m-”

“Come on,” Nigel whispered as their skin slapped together with violent passion, “come on, baby, come all over the counter.”

Lee huffed a few more breaths and this his body shook, pulsing around Nigel’s cock, and spilling against his fingers and all over the countertop. His moans were loud, he didn’t bother to stifle them, he never did with Nigel, he couldn’t if he tried.

Nigel loved the sound of Lee moaning and coming-- he fucking lived for it. The sound of it was enough to crumble any determination Nigel had not to come yet, and he swore thickly against the back of Lee’s neck, whispering curses and Romanian words against Lee’s ear, with frantic devotion. Finally, he stilled, and panted against Lee’s neck. “Fuck …”

“There we go,” Lee whispered, and moved to kiss the side of Nigel’s mouth, still panting. “We’ll be nice and relaxed now.”

“Mmmmm,” Nigel moaned, and pulled out of Lee with a sigh, then turned him for a breathless kiss. “Better than coffee.”

Lee licked the inside of Nigel’s mouth, kissing him hard, and then pulled back. “Now you’re extra tired. You’re going to fall asleep on me during treatment, I know it.”

“No, I’m going to get fucking coffee while we’re there,” Nigel grumbled with a grin. He tossed the condom in the trash can, zipped up, washed his hands, and kissed Lee again. “If we’re late just say we were busy fucking.” He whistled for Beauty, and headed to the door.

Lee bent to pull his jeans back on, and then grabbed his sweater and bag. He walked after Beauty as she followed Nigel out the door. “I  _ guess _ you could do that, too.”

Nigel yawned, and tried to stifle it as he locked the door, and wrapped his long arm around Lee, headed to the elevator. “Get to have my cake and eat it too..”

They got into the elevator and Lee hit the button. The car moved downward to the parking garage and then the doors opened again. “And here I thought I was better than coffee…”

Nigel laughed, and leaned down to bite at Lee’s stubble-covered jaw. “You are a thousand fucking times better than coffee, baby.”

“Baby? That’s new,” Lee said, catching Nigel’s lips with his own as they walked to his car. Once there he waited for him to unlock, and then got in.

“You and your big, baby blues, that’s the first thing I noticed about you,” Nigel said, as he got Beauty into the back seat, then got in the driver’s side, and started the car. “Those fucking huge doe eyes of yours, then your ass.”

“Only because my ass wasn’t presented to you first,” Lee laughed, setting his bag down, he leaned one arm against the door.

“And mine fucking was,” Nigel laughed, he tore out of the parkade, driving with his usual commanding confidence, and headed toward the freeway. “Plainsboro, right?”

“Your ass is why I haven’t charged you yet,” Lee teased, amused. He nodded; “Yup, it’s just a bit from the shop.” 

Nigel laughed aloud again, and stole a look at Lee before he took his hand. “If you give me a bill, I’ll know it’s time to take me out back and shoot me like a horse.”

Lee entwined their fingers together, palm to palm. He was falling hard for Nigel, and it’d been less than a week. He couldn’t bring himself to do what he should do, it hurt too much to think about, honestly. “You’ll never get one.”

"Damn right, I won’t,” Nigel said, with a squeeze to Lee’s hand as he drove past the shop. “Okay, where the fuck now?”

“Keep going, and then at the light a left and then a right. There’s a parking garage,” Lee said, pointing. He didn’t personally drive, never had to, never learned.

“You walk to chemo?” Nigel asked, after he thought about it for a second.

“I run,” Lee explained, squeezing Nigel’s hand not to miss the left turn.

Nigel took the turn, and looked at Lee, eyebrow raised, “and you fucking  _ run _ home after chemo? You jog off your fucking chemo session?”

“Well, to the shop, it’s not that far.”

“Does it make you puke right away?” Nigel asked, not sure what to expect, exactly. It could be very boring, or Lee could get sick… He’d started to read about it a little bit, on his phone when Lee was sleeping but most of it didn’t make any fucking sense and got technical fast.

“Not right away. Every time is a little different.” Lee gestured to the parking garage and fished out a card from his pocket, a parking pass. He was given one and he never used it, as he never drove. “Put that in the slot, it’ll just let us in.”

Nigel plugged the pass in, and drove into the lot when the arm across their path was raised. He found a spot, and parked, then looked over at Lee. “How long does it usually take?” Nigel asked, as casually as he could. The truth was, he didn’t know shit about chemo, or medicine, or how to do this right. He was sure Beauty was going to be more helpful than he was.

“A few hours,” Lee answered, and gathered his sweater and the bag, and got out. He put the sweater on and put his bag over his shoulder, and let Beauty out, taking her leash.

Nigel followed, and scowled at the building plastered with no smoking signs everywhere he looked, but he put his hand on Lee’s back, and walked toward the door with him. The doors slid open for them, and the clinic smelled perfectly clean, with a faint hint of disinfectant underneath. It reminded Nigel of staggering into emergency rooms as a kid.

They walked into the a smaller room, where a woman sat at the desk with her poodle on the counter, who wagged at Lee and then barked at Beauty. “Oh hush, she’s a friend,” Lee said, pulling a bow from his pocket to fix into the poodle’s hair. “Hi Bertha.”

Bertha looked Nigel over and then back at Lee. “Who’s that?”

“My boyfriend,” Lee said with a crooked smirk, and looked back at Nigel. “Isn’t he handsome?” Lee leaned into one upturned palm.

“Sure, sure,” Bertha said and handed a  Lee form to sign.

Nigel chuckled at Lee, and watched Bertha and her poodle as he petted Beauty, calming her. He stayed quiet, tense, and observant, as out of his element as a real bear might have felt in the scrubbed clean clinic. 

Lee hummed and hand the form back, signed.

“Go on in, they’ll set you up,” Bertha said, and Lee smiled at her and reached for Nigel’s hand as they walked into the next room.

Nigel took Lee’s hand and followed him, with Beauty. They passed people waiting, some looked normal, some were frail, and bald, and Nigel tried not to stare and imagine Lee in their place. 

Lee took the next available seat, and someone brought a chair over for Nigel to sit and Lee thanked them. “Don’t look so nervous. You’re not the one getting chemo,” Lee whispered to Nigel, and rolled up his sweater sleeve to where they would stick him.

Nigel rolled his eyes and took off his jacket before he sat backwards in the chair, straddling it. “I’m not fucking nervous.”

Lee just gave him a look as the tech came over to hook Lee up. He reached his other hand out to Nigel. “Have I thanked you yet for coming with me?”

Nigel took Lee’s hand, and ran his thumb over the back of it, slowly, watching as the tech started to prep Lee’s other arm. Needles brought back a lot of memories. “No, you haven’t. Pretty fucking rude if you ask me,” Nigel joked, staring at the needle as he started to sweat.

Lee squeezed Nigel’s hand to bring his gaze back to his eyes. “Thank you for coming,” Lee said, assuredly, smiling brightly at Nigel as the needle was put into his skin .”I’ll repay you over and over later.”

Nigel looked back up at Lee, and focused on his eyes. “Careful, I’ll hold you to that.”

“That all you’ll hold me to?” Lee asked, his eyes brighter as his smile widened.

“I’ll hold to you whatever the fuck you want me to,” Nigel said as the tech taped the cannula down to Lee’s arm, and hooked up the IV, then started it running. Nigel looked up at it, curiously, and then back at Lee.

“Good,” Lee laughed, and then followed Nigel’s gaze to the IV. “Now the fun starts.” Blue eyes shifted back to Nigel, and he squeezed his hand.

Nigel squeezed Lee’s other hand and slipped his free hand to his own chest to open a shirt button, with a smirk. “Better?”

“We’re definitely getting somewhere,” Lee chuckled, knowing that having Nigel here would be much easier on the time going by so slowly. Music only did so much, as did a good book. Lee never realized how  _ lonely _ his life had been before Nigel.

Beauty sniffed at the IV, then laid on Lee’s feet, with a wag of her tail. Nigel smirked and leaned over the back of the chair a little more to give Lee a better view. “How’s your ass?”

Lee skimmed his teeth over his bottom lip as he watched Nigel's every purposeful move. “It’s wishing you'd been rougher,” he teased, though it did ache and would even more so the longer he had to sit here.

“Rougher?” Nigel laughed, and shook his head at Lee. “Baby, if I’d been any rougher your ass would be in some kind of cast.”

Warming at the thought, Lee wiggled his sneakered feet against Beauty, and then leaned over to pet her with his free hand. Lee loved Nigel’s confidence, it was a matched set with his own. “We can try for that next time.”

Nigel chuckled again and shook his head at Lee. “Maybe we should pick up a fucking wheelchair while we’re here, in that case,” he murmured, and looked Lee over with a smirk.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Lee chuckled, heartily, and  reached over to stroke his hand down Nigel’s small patch of hair showing with a pleased hum in the back of his throat.

Nigel leaned over the chair and kissed Lee’s jaw when he did that, then whispered in his ear. “When I can, I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk for two days…”

“Between you and chemo, I’ll be stuck in bed all the time,” Lee whispered back, eyes closed when Nigel’s lips brushed the shell of his ear, breath soft there.

“Yeah, but you’ll have more fun with me,” Nigel purred, and bit Lee’s earlobe softly while a woman sitting across the room glared at them for being so affectionate.

Lee had never brought anyone with him before. He prided himself on not needing that support, but he wouldn’t deny that having Nigel was distracting, in a good way. Lee hand his hand over the patch of hair on Nigel’s chest again. “I always seem to so far.”

“Of course you do, I’m a fucking delight,” Nigel smiled, and stretched happily as Lee petted the hair on his chest. “Do they have coffee around here, anywhere?”

“You can go out and around the corner to buy some, or there’s a small coffee maker on the counter at Bertha’s desk that we can use,” Lee explained, and kissed Nigel’s jaw before letting him go so he could get his fuel.

“Be right back. Want some?” Nigel asked as he stood, and stretched. Beauty looked up, but stayed with Lee, like she knew he couldn’t get up and go, too.

“No, water would be nice though,” Lee replied, watching Nigel as he stretched, wondering how he got so attached…

“Sure thing, baby,” Nigel nodded, and touched Lee’s cheek before he wandered off. The woman across the room gave Lee a look.

Lee watched Nigel go and then smiled at the woman. “How are you this morning?”

“Not everyone wants to see your … display,” she whispered, harshly. Beauty raised her head and stared at the woman, alert.

“I didn't see anyone else with a problem,” Lee shrugged, he never minded anyone else's significant others when they brought them. Of course the second he had someone, there'd be a problem.

“Well, it’s indecent. I have no problem with you people, but you don’t have to shove it in everyone’s faces,” she said, indignantly, as Nigel sauntered back with coffee and a water for Lee.

“Would you care for a blindfold then?” Lee asked, not usually one to grow grumpy over something so petty, but many of those who brought their boyfriends or girlfriends had little moments like he and Nigel, and this woman had never said anything.

“What the fuck is this?” Nigel asked, as he handed Lee his water, regarding the woman with the cool, but dangerous regard a tiger might have for a shrew making a pest of itself. 

“I just don’t understand why you people feel the need to flaunt your lifestyles in everyone’s faces when I’m just here trying to recover from cancer, I don’t need to watch you two … do whatever you were doing, thank you.”   
  
Lee let out a deep breath and took the water. “My apologies for recovering from cancer as well and just trying to make the best of my twelve years at it so far. You’re right, your cancer is so much worse, what were we thinking, Nigel? Being so happy and in love?”   
  
Nigel smiled back at Lee, distracted from the prudish bitch across the room. “We’re in love?”

“I am, I don’t know about you,” Lee said, taking a sip of his water, his attention completely on Nigel now.

Nigel lowered his cup of coffee when Lee said that, and moved over to him, tipped his face up with one hand, and kissed him deeply, romantically, like something out of a movie. He slipped his tongue against Lee’s and wound them together, then leaned into the kiss for a moment before he pulled away. “So am I, gorgeous.”

Lee sat the water between his knees and touched Nigel’s face with his now free hand. He breathed deeply with him, biting against his bottom lip softly. “You walked into my life this week, I didn’t know I needed you until today.”

“Better fucking late than never,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee again, slowly as he set the coffee on the little table next to the chair, and used his free hand to flip off the woman behind them as they kissed.

“You’ve been very supportive. Most friends I’ve had my whole life aren’t even that,” Lee sighed, against Nigel’s mouth and then  tapped the chair next to his. “Sit down.”

Nigel shot a look back at the lady across the room who was now sulking as she pretended to read a book, and he straddled the chair next to Lee, again. “I think that’s the first fucking time anyone’s ever called me supportive.”

“Well, I think this is first time I’ve ever been in love.” Lee had a lot flings, but he never attached, never gripped onto someone the way he had with Nigel. Nigel was everything he loved and needed in a partner -- in a  _ man _ . Strong and dominant, big and hairy. 

“This is the first time I’ve been in love with someone who actually fucking loved me back,” Nigel murmured, almost shyly, and pulled Lee’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles, then his palm.

Lee’s fingers curled around Nigel’s face at the kiss, and then moved to sweep back some of his hair off his forehead. “I wish you’d stolen a dog and brought her to my shop sooner.”

“You haven’t been in town that long, baby,” Nigel chuckled, and leaned his chin on his arms, content to let Lee brush his ashy, long hair out of his tanned face.

“Long enough to open a dog wash,” Lee pointed out, smiling at Nigel, gazing into his honey colored eyes.

“Too bad I didn’t move to New Orleans when I started out here,” Nigel said with a little smile. “I might have walked into your wine bar one night…”

“It’s very different from Jersey,” Lee explained, canting his head a little, utterly taken with Nigel. “Maybe I’ll take you one day.”

“Anytime you want,” Nigel nodded, gazing back at Lee and his big blue eyes. “Fuck, if you want to go this weekend, I’ll get us on a fucking plane, Beauty too.”

“You don’t have… work?” Lee asked, carefully, leaning to pet Beauty at his feet, where she kept them warm.

“Work happens when I say it fucking happens,’ Nigel said, with authority, and watched Lee. “When you feel like flying, we’ll go. You can show us around, we can get wasted at your bar.”

Lee laughed out loud. “We’ll see how I feel after this, maybe first in the morning?”

“Sure thing, baby. I can get a plane with a couple hours notice,” Nigel murmured, and kissed Lee’s forehead, adoringly. Beauty stood up and stretched then licked Lee’s chin, too.

“You have a private jet?” Lee asked, always surprised what Nigel had access to, or why he would need access to them.

“I have to go places sometimes. I can get one, I know people,” Nigel smirked, mysteriously, and gave Lee his water again, reminding him to drink.

Lee took his water and sipped on, the ice cold making him shiver a little. “My mysterious boyfriend.”

“Getting cold already?” Nigel asked, after he saw the shiver, and rubbed Lee’s arm.

“The water is cold too,” Lee dismissed, wrapped up in his ugly sweater that Nigel hated. “Usually I do this in my running gear. I’m fine.”

“Let me know, I’ll get a blanket or something,” Nigel said, softly, able to see Lee’s energy fading a little as the drugs entered his body.

“My hero,” Lee commented, lovingly; a week ago he might have meant it as a tease, he meant it honestly now.

Nigel laughed, and leaned closer to kiss Lee’s lips. “Yeah, big fucking hero if I get you a blanket,” he chuckled.

“Look, without you here,  I’d have to bother a nice nurse or a tech, and that makes you a hero--  _ my _ hero,” Lee chuckled, and kissed Nigel’s lips again, and again. He wasn’t just attached, he was  _ addicted _ .

“More like their hero,” Nigel teased, and kissed Lee back, noticing his lips were cooling. “Just a second, going to find a goddamned blanket so you swoon…” Nigel said and got up, and wandered around until he found a nurse.

“Swoon?” Lee laughed, watching after Nigel as he tracked down someone who could help. He took another cool sip of water, and rested his head back against the chair, and closed his eyes.

Nigel returned with a blanket, and wrapped it around Lee, tucking it in around him before he sat down again. “Better?”

“Yes,” Lee said, and wiggled under the blanket a little, much warmer. He opened his eyes to look at Nigel, exhausted as if all the chemicals really took it out of him to just sit there.

“Do you have more than one bag you have to go through?” Nigel asked, and moved his chair closer to Lee, close enough that he could wrap his arm around Lee’s shoulders.

“Just the one,” Lee said softly, now, and moved head to rest up against Nigel’s shoulders, finding comfort in things he never knew he wanted or needed it in before.

Nigel pulled Lee closer, and let him rest there, then kissed his cheek. “Then you’re gonna be done soon. Sleep if you want to, I’m not going anywhere.”

Closing his eyes again, Lee folded his arms over his chest under the blanket, warmer with Nigel holding him. “Wake me when I’m done…”

“‘Course we will, won’t be long,” Nigel whispered, with his lips against Lee’s temple. With that, Lee dozed off, for the first time during any of his treatments.

Nigel stayed where he was, sipping his coffee, and letting Lee lean against him as Lee got colder under the blanket. Soon Lee had two blankets, and the bag was empty. A tech came to unhook him. “Lee, gorgeous … you’re done, come on.”

Lee breathed heavier, and ragged as he woke, shaking under the warmth, and blinked his big blue eyes up at Nigel. “Done?” he croaked, and reached for his water, and downed the rest of it.

“Done, we can go now,” Nigel nodded, a little alarmed at how faint Lee’s voice sounded. He kissed his forehead, and nodded to the tech that she could unhook Lee now. “How’re you feeling, gorgeous?”

“Tired,” Lee said, clearing his throat as the tech unhooked him. Lee folded the blankets and left them on the table by the chair. “It’s not unusual though,” he reassured Nigel with a look.

“Let’s go to my place, we can sleep,” Nigel said, and offered his hand to Lee, trying not to look as concerned about him as he really was.

“You’re going to turn me into a soft lump going easy on me,” Lee teased as the tech finished up and left. Lee picked up his bag from the floor and swung it over his shoulder. They walked out to Bertha, where he signed out. “See you next week.”

“Bye, Lee.”

Nigel walked with his arm around Lee, moving slowly as Lee said goodbye to the nurse. Beauty followed, carrying Lee’s empty water bottle. “You’re not going to get soft, for fuck’s sake,” Nigel laughed.

“I’ll never get my running in at this rate,” Lee chuckled, and scooped his arm up and around Nigel’s waist, using him to lean on while he got his bearings. “How was your coffee?”

“It was fucking coffee, good enough for me. This isn’t the time to try and fucking run, Lee,” Nigel said, in disbelief that Lee would jog after a session like this. He helped him to the car, and opened the passenger door. “In you go.”

“Nigel…” Lee started, but he slipped down into the car after Beauty and buckled in. Even he had to admit this round hit particularly hard, but he didn’t always have a ride here and back, he had to rely on himself.

Beauty hopped in, and leaned forward through the seats to give Lee kisses on his cheek as Nigel closed the door and climbed in the driver’s side. “Beauty, good girl,” he murmured, and turned the heat on full before he drove out of the parking lot, slowly.

Lee smiled and reached back to pet the dog, scratching behind her ears. “She’s lucky to have had you find her. She needed taking care of. She’s already put on weight.”

“She was skin and bones,” Nigel sighed, and stole a look at Lee and Beauty. Somehow, he wasn’t fucking sure how, he ended up taking care of both of them. He’d never been that kind of person, but one thing led to another.

Lee didn’t need to be taken care of, he’d done fine, but knowing someone cared enough was to want to was nice, he had to admit. For now, their attachment to each other was the very thing Lee needed, but in the end, he never wanted to hurt Nigel, not when Lee knew that someday he’d probably let this cancer take him. “She’s lucky.”

“She’s a good dog, did you see her eyeing up that bitch who was giving you a hard time?” Nigel laughed, and looked back at Beauty. “Good girl, Beauty.”

“I did.” Lee sighed, and rested his head back against the seat rest. “She’s always there. “I think she was thrown off  that I was gay.”

“Probably just pissed off that her husband was railing the secretary instead of going with her,” Nigel laughed, and rolled down his window before he lit a cigarette at a stop light.

Lee laughed at that and then started to cough, holding his arm up to his face as he did. After a moment he stopped. “You’re probably right,” he said, voice hoarse.

Nigel tried not to look over at Lee with worry, and just drove toward the apartment a little faster when the light turned green. “She looks like the type to stay with a fucking cheater for the cash,” Nigel grumbled, and tapped his cigarette out the window while he drove.

“Gotta pay for those treatments somehow,” Lee said with a swallow, eyeing Nigel’s cigarette. “You know, one of us with cancer is enough…”

Nigel gave Lee a look, and took another drag, then put the cigarette out against the rear view mirror and tossed it without slowing down. “Been smoking since I was eleven, I don’t think quitting now’s going to help me.”

Lee was going to argue about the quality of life, but decided against it for now. It was not an argument he wanted to have. He wouldn’t be with Nigel forever, he’d die before him, so there was little say he had in it any of it. “Fine.”

Nigel turned into the parkade of his building, and parked the car. “For all I know, I already have it,” he shrugged, and kissed Lee’s cheek. “Let’s go up.”

Lee grabbed his bag and pushed the door open and waited for Beauty once more and then shut it. His stomach was starting to wrench up on him, and his coughing attack hadn’t helped.

Nigel watched Lee, closely, and wrapped an arm around him, again. “Almost there, just gotta go up the elevator,” he murmured, and used his key to call for the elevator, which was a thankfully smooth ride to the top floor.

They got in and Lee fished around for something in his bag, a pink chewable tablet that he popped into his mouth to stave off the nausea at bit better. It wasn’t the best tasting, but it helped. “Gonna sit and watch me sleep all day?” he teased.

“Fuck no, I’m tired too. I’m going to sleep with you,” Nigel said as the elevator rose. Beauty leaned against Lee’s leg, gently, and kept watching him like she could sense the nausea building.

Lee leaned in against Nigel. “We’ll be up all night.” The doors opened and he hurried out with Beauty at his side, as if she wouldn’t let him leave her sights for a second.

Nigel hurried after Lee, and opened the door for him so that Lee could vomit if he needed to. “So what? We don’t have to be up at the fucking crack of dawn.”

Lee dropped his bag and took off to the nearest bathroom in the posh penthouse, all but kicking the door shut behind him as he leaned over the toilet, spilling everything from the last few hours, admittedly, it wasn’t much.

Nigel swore to himself as Lee puked, then raked his hair back and went to the fridge. He came back, into the bathroom with a bottle of water, and a brownie in a wrapper with a sticker from a bakery on it. “Here.”

It was yellowish green and mostly his bile, but the wretching persisted for another minute and then he just sat there, looking at Nigel. “What is that?” he asked, sitting up a little, taking the water first to get the taste from his mouth.

“It’s a fucking brownie,” Nigel said, and sat on the floor next to Lee as Beauty followed him in, and laid next to them. “It’ll help. I got you a few,” he mumbled as he did when he did something thoughtful, like it embarrassed him.

Lee reached and took the brownie and unwrapped it, sniffing it. “You got me weed brownies.” A statement, not a question. He meant to ask his doctor about it, honestly, but Nigel seemed to have the better hook up. Lee bit of a bite. “How much do I eat of it?” It was huge.

“Doesn’t fucking matter, can’t OD on weed,” Nigel laughed. “Just get it in your stomach, you’ll feel better soon and I’ll make sure you aren’t bored,” Nigel promised with a smirk.

Lee was not going to complain. He ate half of it to see how well that worked for now, and then wrapped the rest up. “So there are perks to dating someone of your stature after all,” he teased, and crawled over to Nigel, kissing his cheek, and then plopped himself into his arms, between his legs.

“Has it been fucking awful so far?” Nigel laughed, and heard his phone ring in the other room. He ignored it, and held Lee with a heavy sigh.

“Just terrible,” Lee chuckled, and turned his head a bit to look at Nigel. “Do you need to get that?”

“It can wait,” Nigel said, dismissively, and kissed Lee’s cheek. “How’s the brownie?”

“I don’t know yet. How long does it take it?” Lee asked, stuffing the rest of the brownie into his sweater pocket for later.

“Only a few minutes. Tends to sneak up on you, all at once,” Nigel said as he helped Lee up off the bathroom floor and walked him to the couch.

Lee let himself be moved, carrying his water in one hand, and then pushed Nigel onto the couch and curled up with his head in his lap, gazing up at his handsome face. “You’re ridiculously good looking.”

Nigel smiled down at Lee, and touched the curves of Lee’s face, gently. “There it is. High as a kite…”

On an empty stomach, the brownie was digested into his bloodstream quickly, though how much time had passed, Lee wasn’t certain. He nuzzled in against Nigel’s stomach, one hand rubbing Nigel’s knee, like he couldn’t get enough of the feel of denim there. “And you smell good. You always smell good.”

Nigel laughed again, and hummed, already very fond of Lee when he was high and probably just getting higher. “Yeah? What do I smell like, gorgeous?”

“Cologne, that expensive stuff I see in your bathroom, it’s a good one. I sprayed it on one of my sweaters so I can smell you even when you’re not there,” Lee admitted, taking another whiff of his boyfriend. “And smoke.”

Nigel smiled widely at that, and leaned down to kiss Lee’s lips, gently. “Pretty sure you smell like me all the fucking time now, gorgeous, don’t worry.” But, Lee spraying himself with Nigel’s cologne was one of the sweetest things he’d ever heard.

“No,  _ just _ my sweater,” Lee said,” but not this one.” He wouldn’t spray Nigel’s cologne on the one sweater Nigel hated. Lee sat up and slipped into Nigel’s lap, arms over his shoulders.

Nigel was chuckling at Lee, and held him where he sat in his lap, then smelled his old man sweater just to make sure, and kissed his neck. “You can spray whatever the fuck you want with it,” he promised, looking at Lee intensely, more in love with him now than ever.

Lee would have never thought to have eaten a weed brownie on his own, by himself. He trusted Nigel completely with his safety and well being. Resting his head up against Nigel’s, Lee’s cool face warmed a little. “I’d rather have you there.”

“Yeah? I’d rather be here,” Nigel murmured back and reached back on the couch until he found the thick wool blanket that was always thrown over the back. He’d never actually used it before, but he wound it around Lee, like a cocoon. “I should light the fireplace.”

Lee curled up in Nigel’s arms, wrapped in warmth now, and closed his eyes, resting his head against his shoulder. It felt like he was floating and every thought he had just sort of disappeared, not one worry there, not that he many to begin with. “Don’t move.”

“Okay, not going to fucking move,” Nigel sighed, and looked back at his phone as it began to ring again. He could reach it now where it lay on the couch, and answered it, speaking in Romanian. The conversation was brief, the other man on the phone seemed panicked, and rambled while Nigel gave one word answers, and hung up.

“Problems?” Lee asked, not being nosey, but curious nonetheless.

“Just fucking work. Idiots,” Nigel sighed and looked down at Lee with a soft smile. “Nothing big. Some people can’t handle a fucking thing by themselves, you know?”

“Do you need to go? I’ll be fine here,” Lee insisted, sure that he’d just sleep a lot.

“No, they ca-” Nigel’s phone rang again and Nigel sighed, angrily, then picked up. He spoke in Romanian again, in a harsh tone, and hung up in the middle of the other man’s sentence. “Alright, now I have to go to fucking work. I won’t be long,” Nigel promised.

Lee sighed, and kissed Nigel’s neck, and then crawled off, snuggling into the corner of the couch. “I’ll be here, waiting for you to come home…” he mumbled mostly into the blanket.

Nigel got up, started the fireplace, got a few things from his bedroom and his leather jacket, a pair of leather gloves in his back pocket. He crouched down and kissed Lee’s face. “I like the sound of that, gorgeous,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s lips again. “I’ll be back soon.”

Beauty jumped onto the couch to snuggle behind Lee’s bent legs.

“Okay, love you,” Lee murmured in a whisper, burying himself down in the blankets as he started to doze off.

“Love you too, baby,” Nigel whispered back, and kissed Lee’s cheek, then petted Beauty before he let himself out, and locked all three deadbolts on the steel door on his way out.


	5. Chapter 5

Two hours later, Nigel came back. His nose was bleeding from a spot just across the bridge, and he had a cut on his jaw. One of his arms was kept stiff and next to his ribs under the cover of the leather jacket, but he was home. He opened the locked, and stepped in, then leaned back against the door.    
  
The couch was empty.   
  
“Lee?”

While Nigel was gone, Lee had gotten hungry. The kitchen was a mess, the refrigerator was open, all their leftovers from eating out were all over the counter and floors, empty. Nigel didn’t have a lot of other food, but Lee managed to find the peanut butter at least, and had finally passed out curled around it, with Beauty licking his face and fingers for the rest of it.

Nigel looked in the bathroom first, then hurried into the kitchen where he saw the wreckage, and Lee laying on the floor with the empty jar. “Jesus Fucking  _ Christ,  _ what the hell happened?” Nigel muttered to himself as he crouched by Lee, and touched his face with his good hand. “Lee, baby. Lee …”

Passed out in a food coma, Lee barely moved, muttering something in his sleep.

The kitchen, ironically, looked like a bear had ransacked it for food. Lee looked better, though. His skin had color, and he was warm. Nigel went to the couch and got a pillow, put it under Lee’s head, then went to the bathroom to peel off his leather jacket to look at the spot on his shoulder where the bullet had grazed him. The kitchen could be cleaned up later.

Sometime later, Lee woke, drooling all over the pillow, his mouth parched. He blinked, blue eyes bloodshot and shiny, but dry as well. He was hazy on the details, but the kitchen was a disaster. He gripped the counter and pulled himself up, and Beauty barked at him, as if to alert someone else he was awake.

Nigel looked over his shoulder from the bathroom where he was stitching up a wound in his shoulder, the thread pulled thin. “Lee?” he called, unable to really stop what he was doing unless it was an emergency.

“Yeah,” Lee called back, voice hoarse. He blinked a few times and grabbed water from the fridge first and then went to find Nigel. “Where are-” he was cut short when he rounded the corner to the bathroom and saw Nigel, bleeding and fixing a wound. “Nigel…”

“How was the fucking peanut butter?” Nigel asked knowingly as he pushed the needle in through his skin, and then out the other side while he gritted his teeth. The shirt he’d been wearing was on the floor now, soaked in blood.

Lee licked the corner of his mouth to taste the remains of peanut butter there, and then his fingers, and walked closer to Nigel. “I barely recall.” He opened the water and sat on the edge of the tub, watching his boyfriend stitch himself up, trying not to seem worried.

Nigel put in the last stitch. A bottle of vodka and a well-used medical kit laid in the sink in front of him. Nigel knotted the suture, and used a pair of silver scissors to snip off the end of it, then looked at the crooked, but closed wound. “Looks like you found your fucking appetite, how do you feel?”

“Bloated,” Lee laughed, or tried to. “Not sick at least.” He downed the water in a few gulps and left the bottle on the counter as he stood up to get a closer look. “This happens a lot?”

Nigel watched Lee come closer to look at the terrible stitching, and let him. “Now and then. Everything went as I needed it to, so a few scrapes is nothing,” he said, and wiped the seeping cut on his chin with a vodka-soaked facecloth. “No busted bones, I got off easy.”

“So not a lot.” Lee scooted up onto the counter and took the cloth and wiped the wound and then the one on Nigel’s nose.

“Not as much as it did when I was younger, and stupid,” Nigel whispered, closing his eyes as Lee dabbed and cleaned the cuts on his face. He put one hand on Lee’s thigh, and bowed his head forward. “Lost one of my fucking guys, though.”

“I’m sorry,” Lee said, quietly, not sure how close Nigel was with the people that worked for him, but Lee hardly asked questions either. He dabbed a little more at the cuts, the high he had before was weening now, but still there, leveling his nausea.

“It’s part of the job,” Nigel said, with a sigh, and looked at Lee then touched his face. Nigel usually went out with the recklessness of a man who had nothing to come home to. It was different when he had Lee waiting here for him. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Lee leaned in and kissed Nigel’s lips softly, not sure how to hug or kiss him when he was this hurt. Nigel kissed Lee more deeply, and wound his good arm around him to hold him tightly as their mouths fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly, humming softly against Lee’s lips. Lee sighed, and gently slipped his tongue against Nigel's, his body was still on a high, and every touch and kiss sparked like lightening on his skin.

“I’m fine, I’ve had worse, baby,” Nigel whispered, between kisses, and looked at Lee. “How are you? Need more brownie?”

Shaking his head, Lee kept his their faces close, feeling mildly vulnerable like this, with drugs in his system that moved him into doing things he couldn’t control. “No, I’m still working on that other one-- not nauseated or hungry anymore.”

“Good,” Nigel chuckled, “I only have the one fucking kitchen.”

Lee smiled and laughed lightly, “Sorry. At least we’re leaving for the weekend.”

“You’re going to feel up for it?” Nigel asked, far from upset at all about the disaster left in his kitchen. Beauty was still licking out the peanut butter jar, where she had dragged it into the bathroom.

“Yeah. Are you?” Lee touched Nigel’s bare shoulder carefully, not getting close to the stitches.

Nigel nodded, and kissed Lee’s forehead as his fingers cooled the inflamed skin near the wound. “Like I said, baby, I’ve had worse.”

“I’d rather not see worse,” Lee said, worriedly, and kissed Nigel again. “But I’d rather you not hide it either.”

“Nothing to hide, baby. Just need a couple pills and some ice,” Nigel assured Lee, touched that Lee fussed over him so much over a graze. It was fucking sweet.

“Let's go to New Orleans then,” Lee whispered, realizing that vacationing together was a huge step for being a couple together not very long. But as Lee saw it, he could die any day.

Especially after going to Lee’s treatment together, Nigel wasn’t about to waste any time with him. When he got his coffee he’d seen bald patients in wheelchairs, covered with blankets, skin and bones. Lee could turn into that, at any time. Nigel hugged Lee, managing with both arms, and kissed his cheek. “I’ll call for the plane. Wanna go tonight? Tomorrow?”

“Won't take too long to get there, but tonight might be nice, we can crash at my place. Then I can show you around,” Lee said, smiled as he kissed Nigel again.

“Okay, just a second,” Nigel pulled his phone out, noticed it had blood spatter on it, and wiped it on his shirt, then dialed a number and spoke in Romanian, calmly for a few minutes, and hung up. “Three hours, we’ll have it at the airport, no lines, no fucking security, Beauty will fly with us.”

“You should shower then,” Lee suggested, wiping another spike of blood off Nigel's cheeks, softly.

“Yeah. You wanna help?” Nigel asked, nodding back to the shower in the corner.

Lee’s big, bright blue eyes blew wide with lust. “Yes,” he said, the idea of being under warm water and touching his boyfriend appealed to him greatly. Lee slid down off the counter, and pulled his own sweater and shirt from his body.

Nigel smiled, and undid his jeans, slowly, then stepped out of them as he started the shower, running it hot before he stepped in and waited for Lee with a smirk. Lee shed his jeans and boxers quickly, and then slipped into the shower with Nigel, carefully wrapping his arms around him.

Lee’s pupils were still dilated, the weed was definitely still in his system, and taking the edge off of his chemotherapy side-effects. Nigel kissed him, slowly as the water created clouds of steam around them, heating both of them from the inside out as Nigel pressed their bodies together.

Every touch against his skin was like sparks, and seemed to pulse where their bodies touch. “Nigel,” Lee groaned, and reached up to drag fingers through his longer hair as their tongues wound together.

“So fucking happy to come home to you,” Nigel whispered, between slow, hot kisses as he groped Lee’s ass with one hand and wrapped the other around his cock.

Nigel’s hot, wet hand around his cock made Lee moan a little louder, gasping into his mouth. Everything was overly sensitive, the buzz of the high making everything even more erotic. Lee raked his hands down Nigel’s chest full of hair, growling as he curled fingers into it. “You must have been very lonely before.”

“Didn’t know it, but yeah,” Nigel moaned, “I was.” He had no idea until he came home tonight how good it was to come home to someone, even if he did it bleeding. He didn’t want Lee to leave, now. They didn’t have a lot of time, he wanted the rest of it with Lee. 

Nigel bit Lee’s lower lip, and then licked water off his neck. “I fucking love you.”

Lee sighed out, head tilted to the side as Nigel licked there, his skin crawling with goosebumps under the warm spray. “I love you, too,” he said, even if it was soon, even if people would say they couldn’t be, Lee  _ knew _ . Things happened for reasons, people walked into his life for reasons. He was going to need Nigel-- no, he  _ needed _ Nigel.

Nigel traced his finger down the cleft of Lee’s ass, over his entrance, teasing him as he thumbed the tip of Lee’s cock, slowly, able to feel a pool of slickness that was different from the wet of the shower, silkier.

Lee wrapped his arm around Nigel’s good shoulder, and lifted one leg up around his hips, breathing harder, panting into his ear. “Take me bareback,” he whispered.

“Fuck,” Nigel swore, with a gasp at the thought, and kissed Lee deeply, tonguing him as his hands worked Lee over from both ends as his cock throbbed. “On your knees. Wet me,” Nigel demanded.

Biting Nigel’s lip once, Lee sunk to his knees, kissing his way down Nigel’s perfectly hairy chest, the trail of hair to down his stomach to his groin. He palmed Nigel’s cock and then slipped the head past his kiss swollen lips and licked and sucked, taking him down to the hilt.

“Lee,” Nigel groaned, and slipped his hands over the back of Lee’s head as he was sucked into Lee’s hot, blissfully soft mouth. “Most perfect fucking mouth I’ve ever had,” he whispered. Water dripped off of the ends of Nigel’s hair as he stared at Lee, his heart pounding hard.

Lee took Nigel all the way to the back of his throat and then some, until he couldn’t breathe, and then pulled back, and did it again, sucking and lathing as he went. Nigel would be the  _ only _ person he’d ever offered unprotected sex to, but Nigel was also the only person he’d ever said he loved, too.

Nigel had been raised in a time and a place too cynical, and too guarded for any unprotected  _ anything _ . The only one he’d ever considered fucking without anything was Gabi, and she didn’t want to get pregnant. Nigel pulled Lee off of his cock, slowly, and pulled him up, then pushed him against the wall before he crouched and hooked his arms under Lee’s knees, lifting and pinning him to the wall. With a deep, shaky kiss, Nigel slid into him, skin on skin, and moaned into Lee’s mouth.

Lee’s groaned into Nigel’s mouth, mixing their feral sounds together. He gripped Nigel’s hair tightly as he felt him, every ridge, slide in past his own, flushing hard with heat and lust, shaking. “Nigel-” he bit into the Romanian’s mouth.

Nigel gasped at the feeling, trembling hard as he held Lee even though his stitches popped open. He didn’t give a fuck. Blood mixed with water on the floor as he pressed himself into Lee, slowly, their lips touching as they shared the same air, “Baby…”

Smiling against Nigel’s mouth, Lee loved when he called him that, and kissed him breathlessly for it. His whole body was one big pulse at the moment, stemming from his  prostate to his lower back. He rutted his hips down against Nigel, the best he could, and wrapped his arms around him tighter, all but one person.

Nigel rocked himself up, into Lee, staring at him up close as the water pelted down on them both and he filled Lee perfectly, hip-deep in his body. He began to rut into him, harder and faster as Lee’s body stretched around him. He could feel every tiny squeeze of Lee’s insides this way, every heartbeat. Lee held on to Nigel tighter as his body wound up, heating from his core, and dared to spill over. He breathed with Nigel, panting too hard to kiss him, eyes hooded, damn near the edge, but he didn’t want to come just yet.

Lee’s blue eyes were especially gorgeous like that, dark and bright at the same time, rings of

Electric blue around wide, black pupils. Nigel groaned and fucked Lee harder, slapping his hips against Lee’s ass as he held him against the wall, able to feel Lee’s prostate throbbing with every slick pass of his cock. “Fuck … Lee, baby… “ Nigel was dizzy with lust, breathless and hot as he felt himself tingle and heat prickle in the small of his back.

Finally, Lee’s body gave, and he writhed between Nigel and the wall, head lolled back against the tiles, mouth dropped open as he spurted in waves of hot-white heat, coming in what felt like one massive throb to his high, drugged out body.

“God, fuck, yeah,” Nigel gasped, the release of Lee’s orgasm against his stomach was enough to set him loose, to unravel Nigel from the inside out. “Fuck .. I-” he gasped, unable to speak, fragments of words escaped but nothing more as Nigel came, hot and hard, coating the inside of Lee’s body for the first time as he held him up against the cool tile wall, both of them shaking hard.

“Oh, fuck,” Lee rasped out, fingers holding Nigel’s shoulders tightly, slipping in water and blood. He kissed Nigel slowly, sharing panted breaths together They stayed connected at the lips, fused there, kissing like it would hurt to pull away for what felt like hours, until Nigel finally pulled out, and set Lee’s feet on the floor. He nuzzled Lee’s face, breathlessly, trembling from head to toe, speechless and not even aware he was bleeding again, worse than before.

Lee had to catch his breath, gazing at Nigel. He put his hand over his own heart, smearing watered down blood against his pale skin. “That was amazing…”

“Yeah,” Nigel whispered, and nuzzled Lee, his heart pounding. “You are fucking amazing, baby …”

“You’re bleeding again,” Lee whispered back, trying to still his own breathing, hands shaking.

“Oh … shit,” Nigel chuckled, and looked down at his bloodied arm. His pounding heart and the heat from the shower made blood pour out of the wound at an alarming rate. “Need to sew that up again,” he sighed, and shut the water off.

“Sure you don’t need a doctor?” Lee asked, well aware that Nigel had likely never been to one since he got to America. He stood, slowly, grabbing a towel from the rack.

“They report all gunshot wounds,” Nigel murmured, and leaned against the wall, catching his breath before he pushed himself off the wall and stepped out of the bathroom. He took a face cloth and pressed it against the now open wound while he leaned against the sink.

“Let me help then,” Lee said, wrapping the towel around himself, and then grabbed the other for Nigel, going out after him with it.

“You know how to stitch?” Nigel asked, as he tried to keep as much pressure as he could on the tear in his shoulder. He could feel it pumping under his palm, not a good sign.

“I… could try,” Lee said, apprehensively, and walked closer, still in a bit of a daze, but the situation was slowly pulling him out of it.

“Kit’s under the sink. Pour some disinfectant over it first, put a pair of gloves on and sew it closed,” Nigel said, trusting Lee to manage.

Lee went and gathered the kit, washed his hands, put on the gloves and brought everything over to Nigel, and set it down. “No vodka this time?” he teased as he took the bottle of disinfectant instead and poured it over the wound, over the sink, letting it fizzle.

“Doesn’t matter. I had a shot of it, figured it was as good as the fancy stuff,” Nigel muttered, utterly blase about bleeding from a gunshot wound in his bathroom, like he did this every week.

Lee threaded the new needle with shaking fingers, but finally got it ,and grabbed Nigel by the arm and inspect the spot more closely. He wasn’t a doctor, nor a was he nurse, but he’d seen enough of these things stitched up on himself that it couldn’t be that hard. He started at the wider end and pushed the needle through both parts and tugged up, and then did that again, and again.

NIgel gritted his teeth at the needle going through his flesh, but didn’t say anything, just grunted and nodded while he reached for the vodka with his other hand and took a belt of it. Lee kept stitching, concentrated so hard on keeping his fingers still, he hardly noticed Nigel move. Finally, he cut the strings and knotted it.

“Maybe we should plan that trip for another time…” Lee sighed, knowing they were both banged up in their own ways.

“Plane’s going to be ready in a couple hours. We can rest on board, stretch out, it’s got nice seats,” Nigel said, with a fond, pained look at Lee. He leaned in and kissed Lee’s face, grateful. “Thanks, baby.”

“I don’t know if those will hold,” Lee said, and found some gauze wrapping and tape, and cut enough off to tap down over Nigel’s wound, to at least keep it from oozing everywhere. “Can’t be picking me up and fucking me like that until this heals more.”

“They’ll do fine, alright, until it’s healed, I’ll just bend you over and fuck you on top of things,” Nigel smirked, and took another swallow of vodka, then kissed Lee, softly.

Lee kissed Nigel slowly, biting at his bottom lip where it was split. “I’ll let you bend me over anything you want.”

Nigel smiled, and kissed Lee again. “I love coming home to you,” he whispered, honestly.

Lee draped his arms over Nigel’s shoulders, more up toward his neck, letting his hands dangle and cross behind him. “Do you?”

“Best feeling in the world, even with a bloody shoulder,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s lips as he backed him out of the bathroom, toward the bedroom, past the messy kitchen.

“And me on the floor passed out in a jar of peanut butter?” Lee grinned, unsteady footing as he walked backwards with Nigel leading him.

Nigel laughed, and nodded, his eyes sparkling as he laid on the bed and pulled Lee to him for a snuggle, both of them still tired. “I’ll never fucking forget that. Looked like some wild fucking animal broke in…”

“I was hungry!” Lee said, curling up against Nigel, both in just towels. He wasn’t super tired, but getting to lay down with Nigel was better than waking up in a doped out hungry daze without him there.

“Are you still hungry?” Nigel asked, and kicked a blanket up over them both to keep Lee warm.

“No,” Lee chuckled, resting his head on Nigel’s chest as his fingers played in the hair there, swirling around the dark and grey colors. “I think I ate everything you had. I might have eaten a stick of butter, too. I don’t recall.”

Nigel burst out laughing at that, and hugged Lee, gently. “Thank god the plane has a fucking bathroom.”

Lee rolled his eyes and kissed Nigel’s neck. “You started it with the brownie…”

“Had to do something,” Nigel purred, and leaned his head back at the kiss, encouraging more of it.

Lee smathered more kisses on Nigel’s neck, leaning into him do more of it, over his pulse, over his Adam’s apple, scraping his teeth over sensitive skin. “I’m grateful.”

“I could tell,” Nigel whispered, with a smile, and arched his neck up for Lee, slowly.

“How’s that?” the brunet asked, shifting so his hips fit right over Nigel’s and straddled him, leaning over to kiss and press his lips against his bronze skin.

Nigel grunted, and stretched out under Lee, then stared up at him, fondly. “That fucking incredible blow job in the shower…”

Lee just smiled down at Nigel, and dropped to his elbows, gazing at him up close. “I’ll give you another one later. Did you want to rest before the flight?”

“We probably fucking should,” Nigel sighed. He’d lost quite a bit of blood, and Lee just came out of chemo. He pulled Lee up, and kissed him, slowly, aware that he probably turned down what could have been another romp, so that they could rest. God, he was in love.

“We only have about an hour to nap and then we need to get there. We just wasted an hour fucking and stitching you up,” Lee chuckled lightly, nearly laying on top of Nigel.

“Wasted?” Nigel asked, with a laugh, and leaned up to bite at Lee’s neck, slowly, then his ear.

“Well, wasted when we could have been napping,” Lee teased, stretching out his neck this time, with cat like grace. “Mmn.”

“Fucking in the shower is never wasting time,” Nigel whispered, and kept biting at Lee’s ear, tugging at the lobe softly with his almost sinister looking crooked teeth.

“I agree…” Lee rolled his hips down on Nigel, unable to help the way his boyfriend worked him up into a frenzy like this, and it took so little.

“Baby,” Nigel whispered, and arched up, already getting hard for him again as he ran his hands over Lee’s thighs, firm from all his insane running.

Fuck resting, they had a flight for that.

Lee bit his bottom lip and shed his towel and then lifted his hips to take off Nigel’s, too, both still warm from their hot shower. He fisted Nigel’s cock, pumping him to get him hard again. “You just have to  _ look _ at me and I’m ready to fuck again.”

Nigel groaned at that and ran his hands up to Lee’s ass, to squeeze it. “Already getting hard again the second you fucking looked at me like that.”

“When don’t I look at you like that?” Lee chided teasingly, and bent to kiss Nigel’s lips, slowly, tonguing the split there.

“When you’re sleeping,” Nigel laughed, and kissed Lee, harder, then reached between Lee’s thighs to stroke him with one hand.

“No truer words have ever been spoken,” Lee chuckle against Nigel’s mouth and then shifted his hips into his hand. 

Soon they were rocking against each other, hands brushing against hands as they arched and writhed. Nigel gripped them together, in his palm and stroked both of their cocks at once, pressing shafts together, letting precome mix and swirl between their swollen heads.

After his power nap in his weed and food induced coma, Lee was running on high, at least for now, knowing he’d crash the second they were on the plane. He took Nigel in hand, moving the other man’s fingers, and slipped him into his still slicked entrance.

Nigel almost shouted with pleasure at the feeling of Lee sinking around him, and gripped his narrow waist, then pressed himself up, into Lee’s body. “Fuck-” he moaned, and turned them over so that Lee was on his back as Nigel began to fuck him into the sheets.

Lee gasped, gazing  _ up _ at Nigel now, mouth gaping open as he wrapped his legs around Nigel’s hips. “My bear,” he purred, palming down his chest and then arms.

Nigel never imagined he would ever love a stupid nickname as much as he loved this one, but he kissed Lee for it, hard, and moved Lee’s legs over his shoulders so that his cock slid even deeper into Lee’s tight body with every slap of his hips.

“Careful-” Lee warned through a strangled sound in his throat, squeezing his thighs there close to Nigel’s neck. Heat began to pool quickly, lust spiking all at once.

Nigel turned his head and gave one of Lee’s legs a playful bite as he slapped Lee’s ass cheek with one hand, and buried his cock deep inside Lee, holding it there for a moment before he began to thrust again. “I could fuck you all night…”

“Wait until we get to New Orleans,” Lee purred, and then groaned out, head tilted back. “Harder, come on, Nigel-”

Nigel slapped Lee’s ass harder, with more of his palm, and left a bright pink mark there before he showed Lee exactly how hard he could fuck, and plowed him into the mattress with every drive of his hips.

Lee was nearly bent in half now, huffing and panting, sweating all over again. He started to come undone, gasps filling the air thickly, blue eyes flashing even darker up at Nigel.

Nigel couldn’t speak a word, he just dug his blunt nails in against Lee’s hips and came with a loud, feral sounding shout that tapered into a shaking moan as he rode it out, panting, and finally came to a stop.

Spilling all over himself, Lee came seconds after the heat of being filled again,some of it dribbling down  his thigh. He gazed up at his boyfriend in a daze. “Nigel…”

“Fuck,” Nigel moaned, covered with sweat again, still throbbing inside Lee. “Can’t keep my fucking hands off you.”

“Don’t want you to,” Lee confessed, biting and licking at Nigel’s lips. “I’m addicted.”

“So am I,” Nigel whispered, and bit Lee’s lower lip, the same way, then slid out of him, slowly.  


	6. Chapter 6

The plane ride didn’t take too long, they both slept right through it with Beauty at their feet. At the airport in New Orleans, they caught a cab, toting along only one suitcase with a few changes of clothes for Nigel, as Lee had his own clothes at his loft. They drove through town, into the French Quarter area, and down to a building that looked older, but updated to be modern and safe. Lee paid the cab driver, and slid out, holding his hand out for Nigel. “Home sweet home.”

“Not bad, better than your place in Jersey,” Nigel muttered with a little smile.

“You haven’t even seen inside yet.” Lee squeezed Nigel’s hand and helped with the bag as Beauty sniffed around as they walked into the building. Lee called the elevator and they got inside, riding it to the top.

There, they stepped out again, into a brightly painted hallway, and Lee unlocked the door of the second apartment, a loft that opened up to big windows on brick wall that were the only remaining foundation of the original building. Everything was minimalist, yet rustic and old at the same time.

Nigel walked in, and looked around, at the evidence of Lee’s old life. There were no photos of old boyfriends, thankfully. Nigel touched the back of the couch, and walked to the window to look out at the street below. “I was right, much nicer than your other place.”

“Just things, nothing I really need,” Lee said and let Beauty off her leash for now.

“Bigger,” Nigel said as he set his bag on the sofa and walked closer to Lee, smirking down at him.

“Little bigger.” Lee’s living room had one set of stairs that lead to the lofty bedroom above the kitchen area, which opened out to the living room and a very nice view of New Orleans below. “We can rest up, or we can head out into the city. I can set Beauty up a dish of water and food.”

“Let’s go out, we rested on the plane,” Nigel said. He could never resist the pull of a new city, at night.

Lee grinned and set out water and food for the dog, which they had brought with them. He gave Beauty a pet and went up to the bedroom to change into a better shirt, a nice button down that went with his slim fit jeans. He took Nigel’s hand and dragged him out into hall again.

“You are going to love it here,” Lee said, almost glowing with excitement.

“Am I?” Nigel asked, as he let Lee drag him into the hallway, his eyes sparkling darkly with excitement. Lee was happy, and so, Nigel was happy, it was that simple.

They waited for the elevator, and then Lee dragged Nigel in, and then kissed him. This was his hometown, his world, and he wanted Nigel to see it, and know his bar. He’d originally planned for the manager to take over, but Lee was having other thoughts these days. “Yes.”

Nigel groaned, and kissed Lee into the wall of the elevator, both hands in short hair as he hummed and swirled his tongue around Lee’s mouth, slowly, lost in the kiss. Lee tugged Nigel in closer, trapping himself against the wall as the elevator moved down slowly, kissing Nigel with abandon.

The doors slid open at the bottom, and Lee chuckled, kissing Nigel one more time. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Your wine bar?” Nigel asked, staring at Lee like he was the only thing in the world. Lee was magnetic like this, so  _ alive _ .

“Yeah, all the wine you want or need,” Lee laughed, taking Nigel’s hand as they walked into the lobby and then out the doors, the air was crisp but not cold. “It’s just a few blocks this way. I usually run to work, but we’ll walk.”

“Taking pity on me?” Nigel asked with a little smile, and took a deep breath of the air before he lit a cigarette, and took a drag with his free hand.

“No,” Lee said, wafting the smoke the other direction. “And you  _ can’t  _ smoke in my bar.”

Nigel gave Lee a dirty look, and blew his smoke the other way. “I thought you loved me,” he muttered around the cigarette.

“I do, but I have rules in my bar, and I don’t like smoke lingering in it. It’s not a casino,” Lee said pointedly, holding Nigel’s hand as they walked leisurely.

“Fine, fine,” Nigel sighed, and squeezed Lee’s hand as he looked around. “Nice town, interesting. More like Europe than America…”

“Influenced by France, at least a little,” Lee explained, though more bright colors in some areas. “The food is amazing, you’ll go home fatter,” he chuckled, grinning up at Nigel, putting his free hand over his belly.

Nigel gave Lee a look at that, but smirked around his cigarette. “Mhm. What the fuck are you saying, here?”

“That you’ll need to have sex with me a lot this weekend,” Lee said with a wink, and brought Nigel’s hand to his face, kissing his bruised knuckles.

Nigel tried to glare through the smoke at Lee, but ended up smirking at him instead when Lee kissed his bruised knuckles like that. “You’re damn lucky you’re pretty,” he sighed, his eyes smiling.

“Don’t be grumpy, my bear,” Lee said, wrapping his arms around Nigel, snuggling into his neck for a moment, and then lead him across the street.

“Bear…” Nigel chuckled, and turned his head to kiss Lee’s hair as he tossed his cigarette butt behind them. “You haven’t seen grumpy yet,” he muttered, affectionately.

“Do I need to worry?” Lee asked, not one to worry so much, but then again he wasn’t one to form attachments to people either. Nigel was an exception.

“You? No, can’t even imagine being pissed at you,” Nigel said, honestly, as they crossed the street. “You’re too fucking charming.”

They stopped just outside a nice establishment, and Lee leaned in and kissed the ashy taste of smoke from Nigel’s mouth, hand on his chest. “Good. We’d have a problem if you ever were,” he teased, and then opened the door, leading Nigel in. “Welcome to my wine bar.”

Nigel stepped in, and heads turned to look at the couple, due to Lee’s natural charm and Nigel’s sheer presence. The place looked like some kind of cave, honestly, but … nice. The ceiling was rounded and plastered a warm cream color and warm, but dim light illuminated the bar itself, and the tables and chairs beyond it. “Classy as fuck,” Nigel nodded, fingers still laced in Lee’s. 

Everything was in shades of either creams or browns, or in between. The bar tops and tabletops were grey marble, the chairs and stools a deep mahogany color, with lighter brown coverings. Local art covered the walls from various people.

“Not too bad?” Lee nudged Nigel and lead him in, and up a small set of stairs to a private table he had there for just him, mostly when he used to do business meetings.

“No,” Nigel said as he looked around. It was nice, but not stuffy. It wasn’t a dark rat’s hole like most places he went in Bucharest. It was … beautiful.  “Not fucking bad at all,” Nigel said as he ran his hand over the railing when they climbed the stairs. He looked at the table at the top of the stairs with a smile, then back at the rest of the bar. Something feral in him liked being up high, being able to see everyone clearly. It felt … safe.

Lee tugged Nigel over by the hand and sat him down. “Stay, I’ll get us some wine.” Lee flounced back down the steps, to the bar, where the man behind it leaned over to hug him, and then laughed and looked over at Nigel. He handed Lee a bottle and two glasses.

Lee returned with their wine and set the glasses down and took the wine key he nabbed to open the bottle. “I thought we’d start off light, and have some merlot.”

“Start with whatever you want, baby, it’s your bar,” Nigel said, amused as he watched the patrons from above. “You’re friends with the bartender?” Nigel asked, as he watched Lee set the glasses out.

“Yes,” Lee said, canting his head at Nigel as he popped the cork out of the bottle and started to pour them a bit in each glass. “That’s the manager I hired a while back, he watches over things while I’m gone.”

“What’s his name?” Nigel asked, curiously, and looked back at the bartender, getting a sense of him in a glance.

“Martin,” Lee answered, setting the bottle down he sat next to Nigel and handed him one of the glasses, lifting his own by the stem. “To a great weekend in NOLA.”

Nigel was going to keep an eye on Martin. Nigel lifted his own glass, and clinked it against Lee’s gently, “what the fuck is Nola?”

“New Orleans Louisiana. The LA is the abbreviation for Louisiana.” Lee swirled his wine in the glass and then sniffed it. He tasted and let all the flavors glide over his tongue and then swallowed. “A good year.”

Nigel smelled his wine before he took a swallow, still in the habit of throwing his wine back like vodka. He nodded along with Lee, more interested in watching Lee enjoy the wine than anything else. “Did you ever tend bar?”

Lee took another sip, really enjoying the wine, and then reached out for Nigel’s free hand, scooting their chairs closer to look out over the rest of the bar. “Sometimes. The point of having a manager is not having to be here. I get to taste the wines before we buy, that’s my favorite part.”

Nigel moved closer, and held Lee’s hand in his own, running his thumb over Lee’s skin, fondly. “Where are the best wines from?”

“All over. Italy, France, California, Argentina… there is no bad wine, just ones that are better,” Lee explained, sipping his merlot with a soft hum.

“If you could go taste and buy wines anywhere? Where would you go first?” Nigel asked. With Lee’s treatment schedule, that wasn’t possible, but he still wanted to know.

“Italy. Definitely,” Lee said, quietly, with a smile over at Nigel.

“Have you ever been there?” Nigel asked, as he rested his leg against Lee’s under the table, so absorbed in him that he forgot completely about the bartender that had hugged Lee in such a familiar way earlier.

“No, never,” Lee replied, and sipped again, and then set his glass down, pouring more for both of them. “I don’t think I’ll ever manage to either.”

“Never know,” Nigel murmured, and sipped his wine again, more slowly this time. “You’re doing good.”

“At stage four I don’t know how well ‘good’ is anymore,” Lee chuckled, never letting that bit of information get to him. “Do you like the wine?”

“You’re running, you’re happy, you’re feeling well enough to go to Nola on a whim, I’d say that’s pretty fucking good, baby,” Nigel murmured, and smiled, but his eyes were wistful. “Wine’s good … sort of … “ he looked at the glass, not sure how to describe it, “like a plum?”

“Little bit, yeah,” Lee smiled brightly, glad to see Nigel finally learning to enjoy the wine. “What else?”

Nigel chuckled, and sipped it again, thinking it over. His vocabulary was hardly huge, and he tapped the fingers of his free hand against the tabletop as he thought it over. “Almost … chocolate? Wine doesn’t taste like fucking chocolate, I’m hungry.”

Lee smiled a bit wider and leaned over to kiss Nigel. “Sometimes it can. Chocolate can enhance it too. Cabs are good with chocolate. Merlot can be as well.”

Nigel smiled, and kissed Lee, sharing the taste of the wine between their tongues as he held him close with one hand against his neck to prolong the kiss, then pulled back with a smirk. “So, I get a kiss every time I say something good about wine?”

Lee laughed; “Is that how you want to play this?”

Nigel took a showy sip of his wine and thought about it for a moment before he swallowed. “It tastes … a little bit like cherries, but not sweet, if that makes sense. It smells sweet, but it doesn’t taste sweet.”

Lee leaned over and gave Nigel another kiss, longer this time. “You’re learning.”

Nigel hummed, and kissed Lee back, slowly, sucking the wine off of his tongue with a little moan. “It tastes better off of you…”

“Does it?” Lee whispered, aware that hardly anyone could see them up here half as well as they could see them down there. He pulled back and took a big sip of his wine, coating his whole mouth with it and then swallowed. He crawled into Nigel’s lap, straddling him. “Taste.”

Nigel pulled Lee’s face down with one hand and kissed him deeply. He hummed at the taste of the wine as it warmed over Lee’s tongue. It was fuller this way, more alive, more vibrant, like Lee himself.

Lee lathed his tongue into Nigel’s mouth, sharing the full, sweet taste of the wine. He pressed his hands into Nigel’s chest, and then undid a few buttons, toying with his chest hair. “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

“I’m not going to fucking stop you,” Nigel whispered, and sucked on Lee’s tongue a little harder, then bit his lip, and ran his hand up Lee’s spine, to the back of his neck.

Lee could not imagine anyone better than Nigel to spend however many fucking days or months he had left with. It would be rough at the end, but right now, they both were enjoying each other’s company. “I’m going to get you so drunk,” he whispered, and pulled away to get another drink and then tipped the glass against Nigel’s lips.

Nigel laughed at that, happily, and took a swallow. He trusted Lee to give him anything at all. He licked his lips and swallowed, enjoying the taste of the wine now. “Reminds me of jam with blackberries in it, only had it once when I was a kid, didn’t have much sweets.”

“Good.” Lee couldn’t help but laugh more and  downed the last bit of the wine they had. “What do you want to try now?” He stayed straddling Nigel’s lap, doting on him, palming down his chest, utterly taken and infatuated.

“You, again?” Nigel asked, hopefully, as Lee petted his chest like that.

“Here?” Lee asked, the bar buzzing below them with chatter.

“Anywhere,” Nigel whispered as he began to kiss Lee’s neck, biting little marks into the skin.

“Storage room,” Lee hummed, nodding behind them at the door, they could pick out their next bottle from there.

Nigel nodded, and stood, righting Lee on his feet as he did, with a kiss, and walked him backward to the storage room, still kissing his throat, possessively. Lee reached for the door behind him, unlocked during business hours, and opened it, pulling Nigel in with him. Rows and rows of bottles stored, the room was kept at a perfectly even temperature to ensure the wine stayed good.

Lee pulled Nigel against him, locking the door behind them.

Nigel kissed Lee’s lips, deeply, then backed him up against a low shelf that housed many bottles, and turned him to bend him over the shelf as Nigel undid Lee’s pants and hiked them down, then palmed his ass. “Perfect.”

Lee grasped the shelf, carefully, letting his jeans and underwear fall to have ankles, and then spread muscular runner's thighs for Nigel. He looked over his shoulder at Nigel and kissed his jaw.

Nigel moaned, and kissed Lee’s lips, demandingly, then kissed and bit the back of his neck, hard. “Baby…” he groaned, and sank down behind Lee to part his ass with both palms, and began to tongue him, slowly, rimming Lee over the shelf.

Gasping, Lee arched his ass back into Nigel's tongue, not one ounce quiet about it as he groaned thick into the air. “Nigel-”

Nigel moaned against Lee, and tongued him, deeply, wringing more blissfully loud noises from his mouth as he pleasured him.

“I love when you rim me,” Lee panted out, bearing down and back as much as he could to get Nigel’s wet tongue as far inside as he could, the heat stroking every nerve around the tight ring of muscle.

Nigel knew that damn well, which is why he did it, just to hear and feel Lee moan and writhe and talk dirty while he wet him. Nigel finally pulled back, and stood up, then pushed his cock into Lee’s ass, hard and fast before he started to pound himself inside Lee.

Lee grasped the shelf carefully, holding himself up and the shelf up at the same time, trying not to lean on it as Nigel fucked him hard. “Yes, yes...fuck, Nigel…” The heat had already started to boil in his loins and bubbling at the base of his spine.

“Think anyone knows you’re in here having your pretty little ass fucked?” Nigel breathed into Lee’s ear as his cock rubbed against Lee’s prostate, thick and throbbing.

Lee’s head fell forward, gripping hard as he pressed back against Nigel. “No. Maybe-” he breathed hard, flushed from head to toe.

Nigel responded by taking Lee harder, violently enough that they rocked the shelves Lee was bent over. Nigel scratched his blunt nails down Lee’s ass, then slapped the red lines as the heat built between them in the temperate room.

Bottles shook and rattled as Lee started to shake with need, his body writhing against the shelves, not at all quiet about the way he moaned into the air, chancing a glance back at Nigel as he started to come apart completely, moving on hand to his own cock, working himself to a pleasurable finish.

Nigel’s eyes were dark with lust, shining and sparkling with pleasure as he flushed and moaned, then bit the side of Lee’s neck, hard enough to make him bleed a little. “Fuck there, Lee, come …”

Gasping groans, Lee throbbed in his own hand, releasing completely over his knuckles as his ass gripped Nigel’s cock with every pulse. “Nigel-”

Nigel loved having sex in unusual places, and a wine cellar with the owner of a bar was a new one. “Lee-” he moaned, and gasped Romanian curses in Lee’s ear as he came, both arms wrapped tight around Lee’s chest, and stomach, holding him close as they stilled together, sweaty again.

Lee brought his hand to his own mouth and licked come from his fingers slowly, humming as Nigel held him and their breaths slowed. There was a knock at the door, “Uh, Lee? When you’re, uh… finished, could you bring another case of the champagne in the corner down?” It was was the manager.

Nigel laughed against Lee’s shoulder, loudly and helplessly. “Yeah, we’ll bring it right out,” he called back, quite pleased with both of them.

Letting out a hearty, breathy laugh, Lee allowed the answer to stay with Nigel, and then when he was sure the manager was gone, he slipped away from Nigel, toward the back room bathroom for employees. “I’ll be right back. Gonna clean up. Will you grab that case and take it down stairs to Martin?”

Nigel laughed, and nodded, then kissed Lee on the lips before he got too far away, and did himself back up. “Okay, love you baby,” Nigel smirked, then picked up the heavy case, easily, and sauntered downstairs with it, toward Martin. He put it on the bar. “Here.”

Martin stared at the Romanian and then the case of champagne, nodding. “Thanks.” He looked toward the stairs, obviously looking to see that Lee came back down soon, Nigel’s appearance wasn’t settling well.

Nigel raised his eyebrow at Martin, and looked at the stairs, then back at Martin. “We’re fucking dating,” he said, flatly, arms folded over his chest. “Living together. You got a problem with that,  _ Martin _ ?”

Martin eyed the other man up, skeptically. “Lee doesn’t date, or  _ live _ with people. He doesn’t attach himself to anything but this bar. Kinda can’t help but wonder what you’re after, making him think he needs you…”

Nigel’s eyes flashed black, and he put one palm on the bar as he fixed his eyes on Martin without blinking. “Just what the fuck are you implying,  _ Martin _ ?” Nigel hissed, the shift of his jaw moving muscle in the side of his face. “That I’m some sort of fucking gold digger? I’d be the shittiest gold digger in the fucking world if that was the fucking case, you hipster piece of shit, Lee owns a  _ bar _ . You think I don’t have enough fucking money to buy and sell this place in a day if I fucking wanted to? Or do you think I’m the sort of asshole who would settle in as manager of a place like this, and just wait until the owner died one day so he could take over?”

“Lee didn’t tell you?” Martin asked, keeping their conversation to the end of the bar as he unpacked the champagne bottles and started to set them in the fridge behind him. “Don’t count yourself too close,  _ friend _ . If he didn’t tell you, well…” Martin shrugged.

“Tell him what?” Lee asked, walking down the steps from behind them, he wrapped his arm around Nigel’s waist, slipping himself under his arm, like he was made to fit there.

Martin gestured his chin toward the ceiling, meaning the whole bar, everything.

“This asshole was just calling me some sort of shitty gold digger just fucking you for the bar, I suppose,” Nigel sneered, one more fucking snide look from Martin away from jumping over the bar and putting him in the hospital. “Something tells me  _ Martin _ is fucking jealous.”

Lee sighed, he didn’t want this conversation in public. He hoisted himself over the bar in one fluid move, and slipped past Martin, and grabbed a bottle of Zinfandel port, and two small port glasses and set them on the counter by Nigel, and then nabbed one of the chocolate bars. He looked at Martin. “We’ll talk about this later.” He jumped the bar once more and grabbed the items. “Nigel.” Lee started for the stairs, arms full.

“ _ We’ll _ talk about this later too, Martin,” Nigel growled, with a threatening stare at Martin’s beady eyes before he followed Lee, jaw locked as he moved up the stairs after him, shoulders shifting like a large cat’s. 

Nigel got to the top, and ground his teeth together. “He looks like he’s never had a proper ass-kicking…”

“Martin is my oldest friend,” Lee explained and set the bottle down and the two smaller port glasses. He took a seat and unwrapped the dark chocolate and broke it into pieces. “Wine is my passion. We ran this place together until I had to go to Jersey for specialized treatments. He might be worried you’ll take what I’ve left for him, what I’ve promised him. I know you won’t want the bar, so it doesn’t change anything.”

“Martin fucking wants to  _ date _ you,” Nigel said, bluntly, and paced restlessly as he glared at the bartender. “He was pretty sure you’d end up with him, or at least no one  _ else _ would end up with you…”

“We tried that once, it didn’t work,” Lee said, though his idea of dating someone was far different, as he only ever really fucked and never called back. Martin was the closest Lee got before Nigel to doing a relationship, but never had. Lee took the key from his pocket again and  screwed it into the cork and popped it open. “Are you going to pace or sit down with me?”

“When was that?” Nigel asked, and sat down, leaning back in his chair, heart pounding a little hard. He didn’t expect to come back here and meet some fucking jealous ex.

“Years ago when I opened the bar. I couldn’t mix business with pleasure, and I didn’t want to ruin the friendship,” Lee explained, and poured port into the tiny glasses. He broke off chocolate and handed it to Nigel. “Sip, chocolate, sip again.”

“He seems like a pain in the ass,” Nigel muttered, bitterly and downed his port, too tense to really enjoy it, but at least it had a good kick to it.

“Okay, _ I’ll _ enjoy the chocolate and wine,” Lee said, sipping his little shot of port, taking a bite of the dark chocolate, and then downed the rest of the port. He meant to go slower, but he had a feeling until the bar closed and they were alone, Nigel was going to be letting off some tense energy.

Nigel rolled his eyes and broke off a piece of chocolate, then ate it and washed it down with more port, glaring at the table as tapped his toes against the leg of the table, like a cat might swish it’s tail when it was angry. “How is that guy your oldest friend? He’s an asshole.”

“He was being protective of me,” Lee said, finally and set his cup down, pouring more wine for them both. “He doesn’t know you aren’t in the market for money, assumes that if I’m  _ with _ anyone that they would know I come from money. I haven’t mentioned it because I didn’t think it was important.”

Nigel blinked at Lee and rolled his eyes, then took a shot of his port and looked at Lee across the table. “So, your family is rich, that’s what you’re saying? Why the fuck would I care? I have my own money!”

“I don’t tell people because it’s not important. Martin knows because we’ve been friends since high school,” Lee explained. “I didn’t mention it because I  _ know _ you wouldn’t care.”

Nigel sighed through his nose, and stared at Lee for a long moment, unblinking, then back down at Martin, glaring daggers. “Well, Martin fucking seems like he feels special for knowing you so fucking well,” Nigel sneered, itching for a fucking cigarette right now … and itching just as badly for a chance to put it out in Martin’s eye.

“He doesn’t know me as well as he thinks,” Lee pointed out. “Or he’d know you’re my type, and he’s not.” Lee sipped his port and nibbled more chocolate.

“He’s not?” Nigel asked, tensely, unable to unclench the angry fist his heart made in his chest.

“He’s not. I told you, I like bears. Big, tall men covered in hair. Martin is none of those.” Lee  gave up on the tiny cups, and poured the port into the bigger glasses, evenly.

Martin was short, and probably couldn’t grow a beard if his life depended on it. “Not to mention a fucking weasel. Let me guess, guys that just didn’t stay around for some mysterious reason, did they meet that waste of skin shortly before?” Nigel asked, knowingly, and nodded at the beady-eyed bartender.

“No, I usually didn’t pursue anything with anyone after one night. I never brought them here or let them meet Martin. Too risky,” Lee said, taking bigger sips of his wine.

“Too risky how?” Nigel asked, skeptically, his guard way, way up now.

“Too risky them knowing where I can be found?” Lee laughed. “The point of a one time thing is for them not to be able to call you  again, or find you…” Lee realized in that moment, on meeting Nigel, that he had stepped into destiny, that the world around him had something in mind for him, and he’d played right into it. “Except for you. I let you find me.”

“I brought a dog into your shop. You didn’t let me find you,” Nigel muttered and stood up, pulling his cigarettes out of his coat as he fumed. “I need to smoke,” he said, and headed down the stairs, beyond irritated.

Lee forgot that Nigel didn’t believe in that all, that the universe has a plan, and they couldn’t do much to change it’s course. “You don’t think that’s fate?” Lee sighed, trying hard not to let Nigel’s reaction get to him, things like that usually didn’t. “There’s a back door lead to an alley…”

“I don’t fucking know,” Nigel sighed and headed to the back. Martin seemed fucking intent on being an asshole, and Lee seemed perfectly fine letting him. Jealousy wound Nigel tighter than a piano wire about to snap, and either he needed some fucking air or he needed to bash Martin’s tiny little head into the top of the bar until he stopped moving.

Anyone that seemed to even look at Lee the wrong or with intention, was bad news to Nigel, there was no in between, or telling him otherwise. Lee sighed and gave up on enjoying the wine and downed his glass as he watched Nigel go.

Nigel pushed the back door open and let it slam shut behind him as he lit a cigarette and took a drag, muttering to himself in Romanian. He’d fought for  _ everything _ , tooth and nail, everything. He fought to have a place to sleep, he fought to eat when he was younger, and no matter what the fuck he had, someone was always trying to take it from him. The world was a fucked up, harsh place and he just got the reminder once again that he couldn’t let his fucking guard down for a second. He had Lee, and Lee had some fucking friend who had fucking feelings for him and Lee seemed fucking fine with that. Nigel burned through the first cigarette quickly, and started on a second, stomach tight and turning.

People were starting to leave. Lee cleaned up their mess, after finishing Nigel’s wine, and logged it into the book for expenses. He left Martin to do as he usually did, enough wine in his apartment that it hardly mattered if he took any. Lee stepped out back, shutting the door behind him. “Nigel?”

Nigel looked at Lee through a haze of white smoke in the dark where he leaned back against the brick of the building across the alley. The low light caught the tops of his cheekbones, and the bridge of his nose, nothing else. “Yeah.”

“Did you want to go back to my place?” Lee asked, willing to stay out a little longer if Nigel wanted to, despite how the wine hadn’t settled right.

He wanted to put a bullet between Martin’s ears. His neck was tight with coiled muscle, shoulders up, blood pumping in his veins harder than usual. “You’re just fucking fine with him being in love with you?” Nigel asked, point blank.

“Him being in love with me doesn’t change how I feel about him. He’s my friend, he knows that. I can’t change how he feels, but he’s never crossed that line with me.” Lee shrugged. “I’ll talk to him later about what he said to you.”

“Don’t fucking bother,” Nigel said, as he tossed his cigarette butt on the ground. “I’ll fucking talk to him myself.”

Lee stood right in front of the door, blocking Nigel. “Your idea of talking will leave him unable to run my bar and likely dead. He’s the only friend I have left that stayed around after they found out I had cancer…”

“Because he wants to fuck you,” Nigel said, honestly and bluntly.

“Is that all you think people want from each other?” Lee asked, though he knew Nigel was partially right, that didn’t mean murder or a beating was in order.

“That’s what I think … what I fucking know he wants from you. That, and the bar after you die, Lee, that’s why he’s fucking  _ there _ . That’s why he wants me out of the picture. In his fucking head, you’re supposed to get sicker and sicker and then reward him for not fucking leaving by throwing yourself at him, dying in his fucking arms and then he’s the winner of whatever sick little game he’s got playing in his fucking head. I can read people, Lee. If I couldn’t, I’d be fucking dead right now.”

“So, you want me to just… let you at him?” Lee stood his ground, even if Nigel was right, and again, maybe he was a little, but Lee hired his friend for a reason, it didn’t mean this had to turn to blood.

“Well that’s how I’d fucking solve it,” Nigel growled, his eyes dark and deadly, “but at the very fucking least stop trusting this  _ asshole _ , because a big fucking part of him is just cheering for you to get so sick you can’t do any better, and then die, so he can do a LOT better,” Nigel spat, outraged.

“Getting left a bar is hardly getting a lot better,” Lee said, “My money goes to trusts and charities when I die. I could sign it over to him now and be done, is that what you want? And we walk away?”

“Fuck, no! That is  _ your  _ fucking bar. You love that fucking bar and I fucking hate the idea that this goddamned parasite is probably going to run it into the fucking ground. I’m pretty fucking sure he thinks after you see that he’s the only one left when you’re sick that he’ll get more left to him than the bar,” Nigel sighed, disgusted, and shook his head. “I’ve been around conmen, I’ve been around gold-diggers and the fucking lowest of the low and  _ that _ one in there is a patient goddamned leech who’s been sucking your blood for years. He’s not here to do you any goddamned favours.”

“If I take him off the my will for the place, it’ll be shut down anyway when I die, Nigel. No one is going to care about this spot, no one will keep it open in memory of me, and I don’t want them to either. I love this place, but  it’s not an attachment, it’s a business,” Lee tried to explain.

“Bullshit,” Nigel sighed, and shook his head. “You poured everything into that place. You chose every wine. You probably screwed in all the fucking light bulbs yourself and your face fucking lights up the second you knew you were going to see it again. You’re attached. You should be fucking attached, it’s fucking nice.”

“You didn’t answer the problem,” Lee said quietly, his head was fuzzy from the wine, his stomach starting to churn. He should have tried to eat before coming here.

Nigel stepped closer, and looked at Lee, touching his shoulder with one hand. “You mean who will keep the place going? Fuck, I will. I don’t need to for the money, but it’s yours, and I love you and …” Nigel went quiet for a moment, and swallowed hard. “You love it.”

Lee hadn’t wanted to put Nigel in that position, not after a fucking week, even if they were in love, he couldn’t hold someone to that, or ask them to. “You would do that?”

“Yeah,” Nigel said softly, and for the first time, imagined a world without Lee. His throat closed, and he bit the inside of his cheek as his eyes went wet.

Lee opened his arms. “Come here.”

Nigel looked down and held his breath. He just imagined it, clearly, him and Beauty here, keeping the bar open like a light in the window for someone who would never come home. He stepped into Lee’s arms and held him, crushingly tight.

Lee wrapped his arms around Nigel tightly, over his shoulders, around his neck, not sure who was holding who more, or why, but it didn’t matter. “Sure you don’t believe in fate?” he whispered.

Nigel sighed, and swallowed hard. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he whispered, and kissed Lee’s temple with wet lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I fucking do.”

“You made me break my code about no attachments or boyfriends,” Lee chuckled, pulling back enough to look at Nigel, and then kissed him, slowly.

Nigel kissed Lee back, teary, and cupped his face with both hands, utterly shaken with the realization that Lee was really … dying. He could not stop kissing him, Nigel’s lips roved over Lee’s, desperate to kiss him hard enough and well enough that he would never, ever forget this.

Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or three weeks to a year from now, but someday yes, Lee would die, and it was just a matter of time. But he lived his days as though they were his last. “Nigel…” he sighed between soft, desperate kisses, knowing he never wanted this to end. Lee would change the will in the morning, but right now he just needed Nigel.

Nigel kept kissing Lee the same way, soft and desperate all at once. “I love you,” he whispered, between presses of his lips.

“I love you, Nigel,” Lee whispered, careful not to wrap every limb around Nigel the way he wanted to right now, aware his shoulder was still very tender. “Let’s go back to my place.”

“Yeah,” Nigel nodded, and kissed Lee again before he hugged him tightly, almost afraid to let him go for even a moment. “Let’s go.”

“Good, I need food,” Lee murmured, leading Nigel out by the hands, walking backwards out of the alley.

“Sorry, baby,” Nigel murmured, and followed Lee toward the light of the street with a sad smile on his face. “Should we stop somewhere on the way?”

“Yes, but stop looking at me like that first, I’m not dead yet,” Lee laughed, lightly, turning to walk straight ahead, taking Nigel’s. “Lots of places open still, mostly hangover relief joints.”

“I know, I know,” Nigel said, and laced their fingers together as they walked down the street, which was still lively. “Anywhere is fine, I just want some fucking food.”

“Gumbo?” Lee asked, eyes bright with the bright street lights around them.

“Yeah, sure, whatever the fuck that is,” Nigel nodded with a little smile as he stared at Lee.

“It's spicy. Sort of like stew over rice,” Lee explained, walking them toward a spot not far from there, open late for the drunks. You can get shrimp or chicken usually.”

Nigel kept his hand in Lee’s as they walked, and nodded. “Have you ever seen me say no to food? Sounds fucking good.”

Lee laughed, “Not not yet.” He dragged Nigel into the shop, no one around, thankfully, and ordered two shrimp Gumbo to go. He paid and two minutes later they had a bag of take out, which Lee held in one hand and lead them back out and towards his apartment complex.

Nigel followed, and kept a watchful eye out for drunks who didn’t like two guys holding hands. He could really use an excuse to beat the shit out of someone tonight, after all.

Lee's phone rang and he let it go to voicemail. A minute after that, his text notification chipped at him, something that hardly ever happened. He ignored that, too. Finally, they up on the building, and Lee let them in and they got into the elevator.

Nigel looked down at Lee’s pocket where his phone sat, and ran his thumb over the back of Lee’s hand. “Pretty sure he’s not calling to apologize.”

“Probably not,” Lee answered, but still left the phone where it was, as the elevator rose and landed on the top floor. They stepped out and to his door, which was unlocked and ajar.

Nigel stopped Lee with one hand, and nodded to the door, then stepped through it himself, fast. “Who fuck said you could come back here?” he demanded, with cold fury in his voice.

Lee hadn't given Martin a key, but the lock wasn't busted, which made the usually relaxed man tense up. “Beauty?” he whispered, worried now.

Martin had the dog by the collar, stopping her from growling or biting. “Didn't think you'd ever get a  _ dog, _ Lee,” he said, as Lee stepped into the room behind Nigel. Martin had a gun, pointed on Nigel.

Nigel just smirked to himself, and looked at the way Martin held the gun, then walked toward him, steadily. “You’ve made a big fucking mistake,” he growled, with dark eyes. Nigel reached into the inside pocket of his leather coat, and pulled out his own gun, then aimed it at Martin’s head with the swift, practiced, fluid motion of a man who’d been shooting people for money for years. “This is the fucking way you hold it, by the way; and take the fucking safety off.”

Martin clicked the safety off with his thumb, the gun shook, eyes flitting to Lee, and pointed it at him instead. “Dating a thug, Lee? Lower your standards lately?”

“Put the gun down, Martin… please. You're going to get hurt.” Lee moved into the room, closing the door.

Nigel’s expression went to amused to blindly furious the second Martin turned the gun on Lee. He lunged at Martin, fast, and twisted the gun out of his hand with a practiced movement, then kicked it across the floor before he punched Martin in the face, as hard as he could, snapping the cartilage in his nose and breaking one cheekbone with the blow. Beauty ran over the Lee, and barked as Nigel twisted Martin around so that he held him from behind with his own gun to Martin’s head. All of it happened in under fifteen seconds of blurry action. “You’re  _ definitely _ going to get fucking hurt, Martin,” Nigel whispered, malevolently.

Martin panted hard, bleeding from his nose, looking at Lee as if he could still save him. Lee kneeled to hug Beauty, calming her. “I'm sorry, Martin.”

“You're just going to let him kill me?” Martin looked horrified, like maybe he'd made a huge mistake.

Lee took a deep breath. “Nigel, I'm going to take Beauty out to pee.”

“Okay baby,” Nigel said, calmly, and smiled at Lee over Martin’s shoulder. “Don’t be too long.” He wasn’t going to take long killing Martin. He’d love to, but it would make a fucking mess and this was Lee’s place, after all.

Lee nodded, and picked up the dog’s leash, and slid out the door with her again, disappearing. Martin struggled against Nigel, but he was stronger than the bartender thought he would be.

“He'll get tired of you, too,” Martin spat, shaking.

“Maybe, maybe not, either way, you’re still going to die,” Nigel said, and snapped Martin’s neck, neatly, like he’d done it a thousand times. He let Martin slump to the ground, on the area rug, then picked him up, and half-carried, half dragged him out over his good shoulder, like Martin was just a dead drunk buddy, instead of actually dead. As long as his head stayed down, they’d blend in in the streets of New Orleans. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) No beta, edited by us.  
> 2) We all know Lee is all about no attachments, but I think it's too late for that anyway. Besides, live in the moment, live for now, because tomorrow, well... who knows.

Half an hour later, Nigel came back with a bag in his hands, and let himself in. “Baby?”

Lee had come back to the empty apartment and put their food in the oven to keep warm. Death never bothered him, and somehow neither did Martin's. His stomach was still rolling, a mix of the wine and nerves and his treatment were catching up to him. Lee hunched over the bowl of the toilet, spitting up nothing more than wine tinted bile.

Beauty ran out to meet Nigel, and led him back to Lee. “Shit. I brought some brownies,” Nigel said, softly, and rubbed Lee’s back with one big hand.

“Hey,” Lee whispered, wiping vomit from his pale lips. He looked a Nigel with a little smile. “Back so soon?”

“Water is nice and close, didn’t take long,” Nigel explained, and rubbed Lee’s shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t tell me anymore, I don’t want to know…” Lee sighed and then nodded, steadying himself. “Everything just caught up to me, I think.” He moved to stand, using Nigel to help himself to his feet, clutching shaking hands into his shirt.

Nigel helped Lee up, and guided him through the apartment, up into Lee’s bedroom, to the bed. “Lay down, I’ll get a brownie,” Nigel sighed.

Lee toed off his shoes and slipped into the bed, one he hadn’t seen in almost six months. “I’ll be fine.” He reached for Nigel so he could tug him down into the bed with him.

Nigel went for his bag, anyway, and brought it back. He took a brownie out, and broke some off for Lee, offering it to him. “You’ll sleep better.”

Lee took the offered bite and ate it off Nigel’s fingers. “If I’m not up scavenging the kitchen for food.”

“I’ll get more for you, in that case,” Nigel sighed, and laid next to Lee, with Beauty at their feet.

“The gumbo is in the oven staying warm.” Lee moved to curl up next to Nigel, head against his good shoulder, hand resting on his chest. It had been such a mistake to come here.

“I’ll have some with you later,” Nigel said and pulled a blanket around them.

Lee was quiet for a solid ten minutes, just letting the brownie do it’s thing, letting it kick into his system, before he spoke again. “You were right. I... apologize.”

Nigel wrapped both arms around Lee, and nuzzled his head. “I’ve known a lot of assholes. I can spot them.”

“I try to see the best in people. I don't have the time or energy to see the worst,” Lee sighed, sliding his hand under Nigel's shirt, trailing fingers over his stomach and chest.

“I’ll see the fucking worst for you, then. Have some more brownie,” Nigel murmured, and offered Lee a little more off of his fingers.

“Trying to put me into a coma?” Lee asked, taking the bite and nipping it off Nigel’s fingers, stretching out over half of him.

“No,” Nigel huffed, and kissed the corner of Lee’s jaw, softly, quite happy to have Lee stretched out over him like that. He didn’t weigh much at all. “Just helping, baby.”

“Not how I saw this trip going,” Lee sighed, heavily, starting to drift a little as his mind wandered and let go all at once. “But we can’t stop the universe…”

“We can’t, and I’m still happy,” Nigel whispered, and stroked his fingers over Lee’s hair, slowly. “I love you.”

Lee nosed in against Nigel’s pulse, nuzzling him, squeezing him in his arms. “I love you.”

“Would it be fucking crazy to get married?” Nigel asked, against Lee’s hair, with a little smile at the thought.

Where Lee preferred to leave the people he knew without heartache, therefor no attachment to him or him to them, Nigel wanted it all, being the romantic he tended to be. Lee lifted his gaze to look at Nigel, curled up there over him. “Married?”

“Married, us, to each other,” Nigel chuckled and touched the side of Lee’s cheek. “I fucking love you. I can’t imagine marrying anyone else.”

Lee gazed at Nigel, not sure if it was the high he was currently floating and falling into, or if love had really blinded him and his fear of attachment, but he did want it. He trusted no one like he trusted his blunt, but brutally honest Romanian gangster of a boyfriend. “Okay.”

Nigel blinked, in surprise, his dark eyes going wide. “Okay?”

“If that’s what you want to burden yourself with, yes. You’ll be tying yourself to a corpse, Nigel,” Lee whispered, though not even he could know for certain how long he had, the doctors were still optimistic.

“Don’t fucking say that,” Nigel said, seriously, and looked at Lee with intense, dark eyes that fixed on him with love that bordered on obsession. “I want to fucking marry you whether we’d get a year, or we’d get eighty. I know what the fuck I want. There are no doubts for me. You’re the only person who knows how to work me up, and calm me down the fucking way you do, and I want you, forever,” Nigel said, gruffly.

Lee crawled over Nigel completely, straddling his hips. They were still very new to each other, Lee had yet to really show just how into the meditation and buddhist thing he actually was, and yet, he was sure Nigel wouldn’t care. “You want to continue to deal with me, huh?”

“I want to deal with you every fucking day, forever,” Nigel said, passionately, and kissed Lee with reckless love, showing him, since words seemed unable to convince him.

Lee rolled to his back, bringing Nigel over him, wrapping limbs around him tightly, meshing their mouths together. He’d meant what he said about fate, so maybe he  _ should _ own it. “Yes.”

Nigel felt like his heart swelled in his chest when Lee said that, so much that he lost his breath for a moment, and his eyes teared up. “Yes, you’ll marry me?” Nigel whispered, staring down at Lee. It was fucking crazy,

“I haven’t anything to lose, just to gain,” Lee said, realizing that perhaps the way he had lived before was so lonely he never saw just how much he needed someone like Nigel-- how much he needed  _ Nigel. _

“Me too,” Nigel whispered, even though he knew Lee not making it would likely kill him, too. It was worth it. Any amount of suffering would be fucking worth it to be with Lee.

“I love you,” Lee said, pulling Nigel down into another hot, smoldering kiss, keeping them melded together from head to toe. Lee knew before meeting Nigel he would have gladly died alone, without the suffering of others, and he’d be okay with that, but someone cared enough now to love him, and help him… change him.

“I love you too,” Nigel whispered against Lee’s mouth, lit up from the inside at the thought that they were going to be married. Lee loved him enough to marry him. They’d make it official. “I don’t care how long it’s been, when you know, you know. Fate…”

“Can’t escape what the universe has in store for us,” Lee agreed, kissing Nigel again and again.

“We can get rings tomorrow,” Nigel whispered, between kisses. “I would never want to fucking escape you…”

“You can’t. You’re stuck with me,” Lee whispered back, feeling as though he were floating, high from the drug and high from his emotions. A little over a week ago he would have never thought he’d be here, talking about wedding rings.

“Yeah, I’m fucking stuck with you, and I’m happy,” Nigel whispered, then smiled even wider. “We can go on a fucking honeymoon. Anywhere you want.”

The reality of a honeymoon was that it would have to wait until his round of treatment was over, or cut it very short.  “I’ll think about it…” Lee said, quietly.”

“Think it over,” Nigel nodded, and cupped Lee’s cheek with one hand. “What kind of ring do you want? Gold? Silver? Diamonds?”

Lee chuckled, softly, and gazed up at Nigel like he was asking the hardest questions. “I have no idea. I never thought I’d have to worry about that.”

Nigel nipped at Lee’s jaw, softly, and kept him wrapped up in soft blankets over top of him, as cuddly now as he was demanding and passionate before. “Close your eyes, gorgeous. What’s the first ring that comes to your mind?”

“Something simple. I know I’m gay, but I’m not completely over the top,” Lee said, closing his eyes though, just listening to the sound of Nigel voice as it carried through his hazy mind.

“Nothing fucking girly, I promise,” Nigel whispered, and rubbed Lee’s back with one hand. Beauty was already snoring, curled up against their legs in bed, happy and secure again.

“Lots of jewelry stores in town, we can go look in the morning,” Lee offered, his eyes looking bloodshot and tired, exhausted after everything, and the brownie was starting to kick his ass.

“Sounds good, baby,” Nigel nodded, and thumbed the dark half-circle under Lee’s blue eyes, then kissed his lips, gently. “It’s late, we can sleep in.”

It was the middle of the night, closer to morning by now, but they had all day to sleep and then go out into the afternoon. Lee tugged Nigel closer and rolled half over him again, using him as a bed, head to his furry chest.

Nigel stayed awake as long as he could, worn out, but fell asleep as he let Lee fall asleep on him, and began to snore, like a bear.


	8. Chapter 8

Nigel stripped during the night as they slept, and by the time he woke, all of his clothes were strewn all over the bed and the floor, and he was naked in the sheets. He groaned when the sun shone in his face through the curtains, and looked for Lee. 

Lee was up and in the kitchen, putting their gumbo into fresh bowls, with strong chicory coffee to go with it. He’d put his own clothes into a hamper, and put on new ones, jeans and long sleeved shirt, barefoot. He walked into the bedroom with a tray.

“Lee?” Nigel muttered, turning over as he stretched, and sat up, his ashy hair an utter mess.

“Good morning, my bear,” Lee said, and set the tray down and leaned to pet down Nigel’s hair softly. “Hungry?”

“Yeah,” Nigel groaned and sat up with a sigh, rubbing his face as he began functioning again, slowly. “How are you? No puking?” he asked with concern, and touched Lee’s arm.

“No puking,” Lee said, quietly, and sat down next to Nigel, facing him. 

Nigel took the tray and leaned back against the pillows, looking at Lee as he started to eat. “You look better today, not so tired,” he rumbled, his voice low and deep early in the morning.

“It was a long day yesterday for me,” Lee said, and grabbed his bowl off the tray. “That’s chicory coffee, try it.” He nudged the coffee cup toward him.

“What’s a fucking chicory?” Nigel asked, even as he took a large sip, and made a little face at the strange taste, then decided he liked it, and took another.

“It’s a root that is added to coffee here for added health benefits and a nuttier sort of taste, but it’s mostly the same,” Lee explained, taking his own mug, his bowl balanced in his lap, and tasted some.

“You’re fucking nuttier,” Nigel murmured with a fond glint in his dark eyes, and moved closer to his fiance, and kissed his neck.

"Me?” Lee flirted, head lolled back the side to feel Nigel's lips over more of his skin.

“Mhm,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s ear, giving it a bite before he sipped his coffee again, and started to eat a little of the gumbo. He slowed his chewing and hummed, savoring the spice in it and swallowed. “Holy shit.”

“Good, yeah?” Lee asked, nuzzling in against Nigel’s jaw. “Spicy.”

“I fucking like spicy,” Nigel nodded, and took another bite as Lee nuzzled him, starting to wolf down the gumbo quickly. He always woke up fucking starving, stomach empty and rumbling for  _ more _ .  “So, still want to marry me, or changed your mind?”

Lee licked his lips and took a bite, giving himself a moment to think over an answer for Nigel, and maybe let him squirm a little. “Change my mind? Should I?”

Nigel frowned, and licked spice off of his lips as he looked at Lee. “If you think you can do better…” he grumbled, as always, plagued by the feeling of having to compete with literally everyone in the world for love.

Lee forked some of his meal into his mouth and hummed, giving Nigel a shifty eyed look. “I’ve had many offers and refused them all. You’re the first I’ve ever said yes to. The first I’ve ever wanted to say yes to.”

Nigel’s defensive darkness dropped, and he smiled a little, and ran his fingertips over Lee’s back, with a little grunt of satisfaction. “How many offers?”

“Four or five,” Lee answered, licking rice and shrimp from his fork slowly. “Mmn.”

"Not fucking surprised,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s neck under his ear, “I’m a lucky bastard.”

Lee turned his head to kiss Nigel properly, and touched his jaw, bowl in his lap. “I love you. I’m lucky to have had you find me.”

“I got you, and Beauty in the same day. Luckiest fucking day of my whole life,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee more deeply, so happy that he tingled all over.

Reaching over them, Lee set his bowl aside on the table beside the bed, and then Nigel’s. He crawled into his lap, gazing down at him. “Luckiest?”

“Best day I’ve ever fucking had, so far,” Nigel whispered as he stared up at Lee, with his arms around Lee’s waist. “Found my husband, and my dog.”

“Did you think you’d be finding either of those when you woke up that day?” Lee asked, resting his head against Nigel’s.

Nigel laughed hard, and shook his head, then nuzzled Lee’s as he laid down in bed with him. “Fuck, no. I woke up, ate, smoked, had a drink, had to go off a dealer, and that’s where I found her, tied up in the back yard, all skin and bones,” Nigel murmured, and reached over to pet Beauty where she laid near them. “I used to want a dog when I was a kid,” he said, in an usually soft voice, “I just decided to take her. Why the fuck not? It was impulsive.”

“I’m glad you did,” Lee said, reaching to pet Beauty as well, who had gained some weight in the last week or so. “She’s happy now.”

Beauty wagged, and moved closer to them to snuggle against her owners, much calmer now after the scare last night. “I think we’re all better together, like a pack,” Nigel murmured, with a little smile as they pet the dog. It was so peaceful, and domestic, something Nigel doubted he would ever have.

“We are,” Lee agreed, and laid over Nigel, careful of his wounds from the day before, but couldn’t quite want to get out of bed again.

Nigel’s phone rang, and he groaned before he reached over onto the nightstand and looked at the number before he answered, in Romanian. “Ce este?” He sighed, and swore a long streak of curses, then said a little more in a low voice, and hung up. “Well, my fucking apartment was ransacked, and set on fire.”

“For what happened?” Lee asked, blinking big blue eyes at him, curiously. He touched Nigel’s wounded shoulder.

“Yeah, we really pissed off the Italians,” Nigel said as he frowned, and touched Lee’s face. “Damn good thing we got out of town,” he sighed, and kissed Lee’s forehead, tenderly. “We’ll get a new place. Somewhere with a big fucking wine cellar.”

“I’m not worried about where we’ll live or wine cellars,” Lee said, more worried about Nigel and his work. “They’ll just find you again.”

“Nobody but the pilot knows I’m here with you,” Nigel said, unconcerned, and kissed Lee’s worried face. “He flew off to Europe last night, nowhere to be fucking found.”

Lee paled, trying not to be concerned, but he had obligations back in Jersey, as much as he wanted to stay here… “Nigel, I _ have _ to be back in Plainsboro by Monday.”

“I know, don’t worry, baby,” Nigel assured Lee, and kissed his lips, softly. “We’ll stay in a hotel for a few nights, then come back here, if you want to,” he whispered. This wasn’t the first time he’d lost a home to work, he knew what to do.

“That’s a lot of travel,” Lee sighed, against Nigel’s mouth slowly, eyes half closed. “Twice a week, there and back.”

“I’ll find something this weekend,” Nigel promised, and rubbed Lee’s back to relax him, “something nice, something safe, okay? Don’t worry, baby.”

“I’m not worried,” Lee said, and kissed Nigel once more and then slid off him and the bed. “All else fails, we have my place.”

“No one would look for us there,” Nigel chuckled, and watched Lee move away, with longing. He picked up his phone again, and dialed, then spoke in Romanian again for a few clipped sentences, and hung up, then put his phone aside, and got out of bed, slowly, stretching.

Lee didn’t ask what that was about, he simply threw some of Nigel’s clean clothes at him. “You would hate living in my Jersey apartment.”

It was a call to an assistant, of sorts, telling him to send ultra-secure real estate in the city to Nigel’s phone. “I’ve lived in worse, I’m not a fucking snob,” Nigel laughed, and shook his head as he pulled on a pair of worn jeans up his long legs.

“I never said you were, but you do like to live nice,” Lee said and slipped socks on his feet, and then his tennis shoes. He was up early, meditating before Nigel got up.

Nigel pulled on his shirt, the one with the dogs on it, and left it open halfway down his chest. “So do you, look at this place. I like places that aren’t easy for the assholes who want me dead to get into, they happen to carry a heavy price tag, that’s fucking business.”

“This place is hardly as nice as others around here. Shittier holes in NOLA are just that,” Lee explained, reaching over to touch Nigel’s exposed chest. “We will get nothing done today with you looking like that.”

Nigel smirked, and looked down at Lee’s fingers in his chest hair. “Maybe that’s the fucking idea…”

“I thought you wanted to go look at rings?” Lee asked, stepped closer to Nigel, arms around his broad shoulders.

“I can want two things at once,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee, deeply, his wide shoulders shifting under Lee’s embrace as he sucked Lee’s lower lip.

“But can you do them at the same time?” Lee teased, kissing Nigel back, deeper, more passionately, his fingers in his hair, tugging.

“Fuck you and shop for rings?” Nigel asked with a laugh in his voice, and sighed, “probably not. I don’t need anyone else admiring that perfect ass of yours.”

“Which do you want to do first? We’ve already dressed?” Lee grinned, against his mouth and started to undo the buttons of his shirt the rest of the way, spreading hands over his chest.

“We’ll get rings, then come back and celebrate?” Nigel smirked, as Lee’s hands clearly had different ideas than his mind.

“We could. Will you walk around like this?” Lee asked, aware it wasn’t freezing out, but not warm either. He palmed down Nigel’s chest slowly, biting at his lip.

“Yeah, why the fuck not?” Nigel purred, and hummed, happily, as Lee groped him. “Sure you can focus on sparkly things?”

“I much prefer hairy things,” Lee whispered doing up just a few of the buttons, leaving Nigel’s chest out and for him to gawk at when he wanted.

“You can watch the ring on your hand as it goes through my chest hair,” Nigel whispered, with a naughty drag to his deep voice.

Lee let out a soft groan at the thought and nodded. “Let’s go.” He took Nigel’s hands and lead him back down stairs, Beauty following after them her leash in her mouth.

Nigel slipped on his sunglasses, and opened the door, holding it for Lee and Beauty as his phone buzzed. He glanced at it, and flipped through a few photos of a penthouse, then showed it to Lee. “What do you think of this? Presidential-level security, bulletproof windows, panic room, wine cellar…”

Together they could afford that and then some, though Lee wouldn’t say as he was happy with very little. “You decide. Just give me a room to meditate.” He pressed the elevator call button and the doors opened for them.

“You just need a room to sit still in?” Nigel chuckled, and stepped into the elevator with Lee. “That’s nice, baby, I’d rather you were somewhere with a little space, a nice view, somewhere for your wine, a place for Beauty to take a dump…”

“So  _ considerate _ ,” Lee laughed, and wrapped his arms around Nigel, kissing his neck. “Just a little spot for me and little spot for her. You can do whatever you want with the rest.”

Nigel smiled at Lee, and sent another text, telling his assistant to find him something safe enough for the fucking president, Buddhist, and near Plainsboro. He pocketed his phone, sure that would keep the assistant working for a while. The things he did for love… “I don’t want you trying to get better in some dump, and I don’t want to have to fucking worry about some dickhead picking a lock while I’m out.”

“Am I moving out of my place?” Lee asked, walking out as the elevator landed and opened up the lobby to them. Lee took Nigel’s hand, leash in the other.

“Well, I fucking hope so,” Nigel said, as they walked through the lobby with Beauty, and headed outside, into the warmth.

“I don't know, Nigel… I have so much stuff, it might be a hassle.” Lee grinned, gazing over a Nigel as they walked, heading down town. He expected in a day or so to get a call about Martin.

Nigel gave Lee a look, and squeezed his hand. “Funny man, you are,” Nigel sighed, his eyes smiling in the sunlight as they made their way down the street. “We’ll just take your wine out and it’ll basically be fucking empty after that.”

Lee shook his head slowly, in disbelief. “Good thing I haven’t got many attachments,” he teased. Lee had made attachments since meeting Nigel, and found he was hardly upset about losing Martin, which spoke volumes about how Lee knew he must have actually felt about his ‘friend’.

“Just a couple, huh?” Nigel asked, well aware that he was one. He thought that was a good thing, worried without an attachment, Lee would drift away, and stop fighting his cancer.

Lee was coming up on the end of his trial without much hope of getting better. His doctor wanted to keep trying, heavier things, harsher ones, and if not for meeting Nigel, Lee might have denied it, and let himself die. Now? Lee looked up at Nigel, and leaned his head on his shoulder. “You, the dog, and wine.”

Nigel laughed softly, and rested his head against Lee’s for a second. “In that order, or wine, dog, bear?” Nigel teased.

“Wine, bear, and then dog?” Lee considered, with a light chuckle, squeezing Nigel’s hand, grateful he was still alive with him, and not back home in his apartment that burnt down.

“I’ll take that,” Nigel laughed, and wanted to light a cigarette, but didn’t want to let go of Lee’s hand. It could fucking wait. “Were you a kid here?” Nigel asked, looking around as they turned to cross the street toward what looked like a nice shopping district.

“Around here.” Lee said watching.the people and the cars as they crossed, and then stepped up on the sidewalk again, toward the maze of stores. “Little outskirt city of town, just over the bridge.”

“If treatment goes well,” Nigel said quietly, “do you want to move back here?” he asked. He didn’t want to fucking think about treatment not going well. He knew it was possible, but as full as his mind was of blood and darkness, Lee dying was something too terrible to think about.

“It is home, but we can travel back and forth, if it goes well,” Lee said, leading Nigel into one of the many jewelry shops.

Lee’s treatment going well was the reason Nigel wanted a nice place for him, close to the hospital, clean, easy to rest in, somewhere he wouldn’t feel like he’d crawled into a hole to die. Nigel didn’t give a shit about what the place was like for himself, as long as it was hard to break into, but he wanted the fucking best for Lee.  “Whatever you want,” Nigel agreed, and stepped into the jewelry store with Lee, looking around at the bright room filled with sleek glass cases.

Beauty wagged as they looked around, being a good dog and keeping very close. Lee didn’t touch the glass on the cases, he just peered into them. “I never thought I’d be shopping for rings…”

“After what happened back in Romania, neither did I,” Nigel muttered, looking at a set of rings that looked platinum with a row of bright diamonds in the center. “Those are nice, yeah?” he asked gruffly, nodding at the center ring. 

Lee leaned over to look, and then back up at Nigel. “You are determined to get me something fancy, aren’t you?”

“What, you want a little bit of twine around your finger instead?” Nigel teased, his eyes glinting at Lee, amused.

“If it came from you…” Lee canted his head at Nigel, he’d wear anything he bought him, honestly.

A clerk came over, and Nigel nodded at the case. “That one, in the middle,” he said, and took the ring to look at it under the light. The diamonds were bright, and colorful under the lights, firey with sparkle, like Lee himself. Nigel handed it to Lee. “Try it on, see what you fucking think, if you don’t like it when it’s on, we’ll get something else.”

Lee took the ring from the clerk, and put it on his left ring finger. It wasn’t too flashy, too bulky, or too big. In fact, it fit perfectly on Lee’s finger. Not loose or weighing. He pressed his hand up against Nigel’s chest, over his heart, admiring it with a crooked grin. “I like it…”

Nigel laughed at the way Lee put his hand against his chest. He looked down at the way the ring glittered on Lee’s hand, and touched Lee’s hand there. “You sure? You can live with that?” Nigel smirked. It really did look pretty fucking good on Lee.

Everything would always be a bit too much for Lee, but in knowing Nigel wouldn’t let him leave without some token of his love, he would pick something that actually  _ did _ suit him. “Yes.”

Nigel nodded to the clerk that they’d take it, and she stepped to the counter to ring it up. “Looks good on you, baby. Just imagine it with a glass of wine,” he said, and positioned Lee’s hand like it was holding a wine glass.

“I won’t have to imagine at all later,” Lee said, knowing they’d be enjoying a glass soon after this. While the clerk rang up Lee’s ring, he started to look through others, noticing the darker colored rings with black diamonds. Big enough for Nigel’s hand, and hard enough to leave imprints in their skin if he punched someone with it. “What about this one for you?”

Nigel looked at a dog tag behind a bit of glass, and chuckled, then looked at the one Lee pointed to. It was all black, black metal, black diamonds, shaped like a signet ring. “Let’s see it,” he nodded, and the clerk returned to hand the ring to Nigel. He looked it over and slipped it on with a smile. It fit his finger, even over the permanently swollen knuckle, and he looked at it there. “All dark for me, hm?” he asked Lee, with a smirk at him.

“Dark, hard as diamonds, able to cut through even the thickest of barriers,” Lee whispered, looking at the ring on Nigel’s finger, feeling everything becoming far too surreal.

Nigel leaned closer and kissed Lee on the lips for that, then touched their foreheads together, softly. “Perfect,” he whispered, and nodded that they would take this one, too. “That was fucking easy, no fighting, no going to ten fucking places,” he chuckled, gazing at Lee.

"Did you think it was going to be difficult?” Lee smirked, arm up and around Nigel’s shoulder, keeping them close.

“Last time I shopped for a fucking ring it was almost world war three,” Nigel chuckled, and kissed Lee as he passed a stack of bills across the counter for the rings, and waved off the receipts.

“I can try to be more catty if you want,” Lee teased, but he was who he was, there was no changing that his easy going spirit lead him to avoid arguments where he knew they weren’t needed. Rings were easy compared to the rest of their lives to come

“Fuck, no,” Nigel laughed, and kissed Lee’s forehead as they walked out, rings still on their hands. It felt natural like that, like they should always have been there.

Lee wound his arm around Nigel’s waist. “Are we planning a wedding, or eloping?”

“Who the fuck are we going to invite?” Nigel asked Lee, smiling at him with his crooked teeth, and happy eyes.

Lee shrugged; “Fair point. We could just go to the courthouse.”

“Why fucking not? I don’t want flowers and shit,” Nigel said, his eyes shining with happiness. He looked down at Beauty, and petted her head as they walked.

“We have our flower girl, that’s all that matters,” Lee commented, looking at Beauty who wagged as they walked. Lee started to lead them toward the courthouse, sure that they might be able to fill them into a slot today.

Beauty seemed happy to follow them anywhere, and Nigel looked as though he was was ready to burst with happiness as they walked toward the courthouse. “No frills, no bullshit. I like it. I fucking hate weddings, honestly, they’re for everyone but the fucking couple.”

Rationality tried to tell Lee to slow down, but for once his heart was winning out, telling him that maybe not being alone was going to work out just fine. His heart was attached, and there was no letting go. “They are boring, too.”

“Oh god, so fucking boring. I have to be drunk just to fucking sit through one,” he sighed, and stole a kiss from Lee as they walked down the street, then looked down at his his dog-print shirt. “This was what I was wearing when we met.”

Lee laughed, and palmed down the open buttons. “It is. I remember seeing you in it and laughing to myself, thinking, God, who would be ballsy enough to wear that? You, obviously.”

“It was an impulse buy,” Nigel laughed, and kissed Lee’s jaw as the courthouse came into view. “Glad you fucking like it. I remember you staring and wasn’t sure if you were staring at the dogs on the damn shirt, or my chest. Now, I know.”

Lee stopped them just at the steps and turned to face Nigel, gazing up at him. “I wanted you the second I saw you try to get Beauty out of your car, your ass presented to me, it felt like Christmas.”

Nigel laughed so hard that he actually snorted, and cupped Lee’s face with both hands to tip it upward for a kiss. “I’ll put a fucking bow on it later, alright?”

“Wedding gift?” Lee whispered, leaning in on his toes to mesh their mouths together, slowly, hands on Nigel’s hips, gripping him closer.

“Yeah, one on my cock, too,” Nigel purred, and pulled Lee into his body with a curl of both long arms around Lee’s back.

Lee all but purred at that idea, sliding his hands over Nigel’s ass, feeling his ring rest there comfortably. “Let’s go get married already so I can unwrap both.”

Nigel nodded, and kissed Lee again before taking the courthouse steps two at a time, and pushing through the door. “Where can we get married right now?” he asked a man at a security desk, who just pointed to the left with wide eyes. 

Nigel nodded, and led Lee to the left, demanding directions from everyone they saw until they found themselves in front of a window. Lee asked for the papers, and they filled them out together, and handed them back. They were told by the clerk it would be a few minutes before the judge could see them.   
  
Nigel smirked, and sat in a wooden chair, then pulled Lee into his lap with his arms around him. “Any fucking jitters?”

Beauty laid at their feet, wagging, and Lee  rested back again Nigel, back to his chest. “Jitters? For marrying you?” He smiled back at Nigel. “No.”

Nigel laughed, staring at Lee like Lee was the most beautiful thing in the world, which he was. Nigel touched Lee’s scruffy beard, stroking it with his thumb before he kissed it. “So, am I Nigel  _ Fallon _ , now?” Nigel teased with a gleam in his eye, not about to adopt anyone’s last name.

Lee laughed out loud, breathily, a little rattle in his lungs. “Considering I don’t even know your last name…”

Nigel rubbed Lee’s back, and pulled out his passport from his jeans pocket, opening it to show Lee the name inside. “This is a fake,” he whispered in Lee’s ear, “my real last name is Nigel Lupescu.”

“Lupescu? Lee Lupescu?” The brunet laughed, delighted, it was not fitting to him so much, but he loved it.

“Sounds like the name of a guy who would own a fucking good wine bar,” Nigel laughed,  he thought it sounded great, sort of adorable.

“It sounds more foreign than I am,” Lee grinned, rubbing Nigel’s thigh with his hand. “I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, just let me know,” Nigel whispered, and looked up as the judge stepped out to beckon them into the room. “First time I’ve been happy to see a fucking judge,” Nigel whispered.

Lee chuckled and stood, grabbing Nigel’s hand and the leash and walked them into the room with the judge. “ Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of being before one.”

“Well, aren’t you a fucking angel,” Nigel laughed, and walked into the room with Lee, presenting the paperwork to the judge.

“I just know how to avoid trouble,” Lee whispered, “Until you.” He kissed Nigel’s jaw as the judge looked over the paperwork.

“Everything looks in order here,” the judge said, and stood, “did you bring any guests?”

"Just our dog. That’s all we have,” Lee explained, neither of them had friends or family; not anymore.

“Alright, then we’ll begin,” the judge said, motioning a woman in to stand as their witness, and opened a book, beginning to read the procedure, which was without sentiment, legal, and dry, but Nigel’s dark eyes were a little teary with emotion.

They didn’t need a lot honestly, Lee would take anything, so long as the end result worked. He was asked first if to recite vows, and then it was Nigel’s, nothing exciting, but all that mattered in the end was that they came out together… married.

Nigel said his vows as he stared at Lee, in a state of disbelief as he spoke. Finally, the judge pronounced them married, and before he could give Nigel permission to kiss Lee, Nigel kissed him deeply, bending Lee over the judge’s desk, backward to kiss him as Beauty watched, wagging.

Lee wound his arms around Nigel’s shoulders and kissed him deeply, the rest of the world could wait. Behind them, the judge signed the paper and waited for them, giving them a moment.

Nigel finally stopped kissing his husband after he bit Lee’s lower lip, and straightened them upright again, absolutely beaming with pride. “Where do we fucking sign?” Nigel asked, breathless with happiness.

“Here,” the judge said, laying a pen over the document. Lee reached for it and signed his name, and handed the pen to Nigel.

Nigel signed with an illegible scrawl, and turned to kiss his husband again, happily. “My beautiful fucking husband…”

The judge handed them the paper and gently urged them outside to he could take the next couple. Lee hardly let go, paper in his hand, unable to believe the way his life turned upside down in just over a week.

Nigel picked Lee up with both arms, still kissing him senseless in the hallway, unable to stop. “Let’s get the best bottle of wine, and fuck.”

Lee’s bar would be opened by another employee today, since Martin usually took the weekends off, no one would even know he was missing yet. “Let’s go snag one from the bar. We’ll go raid the stockroom.”

“Something you’ve been wanting for ages,” Nigel whispered in Lee’s ear, and kissed Lee again, slowly, then bent down to give Beauty a pet, and took his husband’s hand.

Lee folded their marriage license and put it in his pocket. “There’s an expensive bottle of champagne…” he offered, looking to see if Nigel like that sort of thing.

“Bubbly crap?” Nigel asked with a wrinkled nose.

“Yes. Some bottles are very expensive,” Lee offered, but decided maybe that wasn’t Nigel’s thing. “We can always get something other than wine.”

“Baby, whatever you want. I’ll have champagne on my fucking wedding day, that’s alright,” Nigel agreed with a kiss to Lee’s head. “You can teach me all about it.”

“You called it ‘bubbly crap’, Nigel,” Lee pointed out, rounding the corner of the bar, not so busy yet this time of day. He slipped in and waved to the employee he’d met a few times before and talked to on the phone once or twice.

“Yeah, but maybe you’ve got the good shit.” Nigel held up Lee’s left hand with a big smile. “Just married!” he announced, proudly, to the entire bar.

The bar clapped and Lee grinned like an idiot, tugging Nigel into storage room, and  pulled his keys out, unlocking a small fridge in there. He pulled out a bottle of champagne. “This costs seven hundred dollars, retail.”

Nigel let out a low whistle, and looked at the bottle, then at Lee’s big blue eyes. Lee was happy, maybe the happiest Nigel had ever seen him. “Okay, show me how to drink expensive bubbly shit,” he smirked.

Lee laughed. “It doesn’t matter how to drink it, you just drink it and enjoy it. Let’s head back home.” He grabbed two bottles of it and tucked them under his arms and then locked the fridge back.

Nigel took one of the bottles for Lee, and walked back down the stairs with their hands laced together, to more applause. “Best fucking wedding I’ve ever been to.”

Lee rolled his eyes, and went to sign out the bottles to be written off, thanking the employee. “Thank you everyone,” he said, seeing a few faces he knew when he used to tend the bar here when he lived in the area full time. “Now excuse us, we have a honeymoon to make.”

Nigel crouched and swept Lee up, off of his feet, and carried him like a bride out of the bar, grinning. “I bet I can carry you all the way to your place.”

Lee laughed, and hid his face in Nigel’s neck as he was carried out, Beauty behind them, her leash held firmly in Lee’s hand. “You are my bear…”

"That I am,” Nigel smiled, and stole a little kiss as he carried Lee, easily, down the block. People stared, of course.

“Be careful of your shoulder,” Lee said, trying to his weight to one side, not the other, not caring if anyone saw them or what they thought, of course.

“I heal fast, it’s a bloody scratch,” Nigel said as he shifted Lee’s weight in his arms to show off, and smirked at him, then managed to get him in through the open door as a surprised tenant held it open while they left the building. “I have to carry you over the fucking threshold.”

“Better take the elevator then,” Lee snarked, smirking at his  _ husband _ . “Don’t need you throwing your back out taking those stairs.”

“What, do I look eighty?” Nigel asked and headed for the stairs just to prove Lee wrong. “I can bring you up a fucking flight of stairs…” he grumbled, and carried Lee up one flight, then paused and looked at the next flight before he took it, coughing a little.

“It’s five stories,” Lee whispered, patting Nigel’s chest with his left hand, his ring catching the light as he did. “You could put me down…”

“Nope,” Nigel said, determined, and did the next two flights fast, which left him breathless, and leaning against the wall. “Fucking stairs…” he muttered, and did the next one slowly, determined, but winded.

“I really don’t want you to die before me,” Lee teased, holding tight to Nigel, so he wasn’t dropped suddenly.

“Not going to fucking die, just need to breathe,” Nigel muttered, and lumbered up the rest of the stairs slowly, carrying Lee, absolutely too stubborn to give in and take the elevator. His legs were solid by the time they reached the top, but Nigel was wheezing and out of breath. He carried Lee down the hall, turning his head away to cough, and leaned against the wall next to the door with him, laughing.

“You at least need to stop smoking,” Lee said, rubbing his chest. He pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked door. “Just few more steps.”

“I’m fine,” Nigel managed, and carried Lee over the threshold, breathlessly, but did it, then set him down gently, and turned away to cough into his hands, then pounded his chest with a fist to stop it. 

“Does this happen a lot?” Lee asked, going to get Nigel a glass of water. He filled a cup, and brought it over, rubbing Nigel’s back.

“Just running or whatever, afterward,” Nigel said and drank the water, then looked back at Lee, catching his breath. “I’m fine, gorgeous. I fucking did it, didn’t I?” he asked, still finding a way to be proud of his accomplishment.

“Yeah, you did,” Lee whispered and kissed Nigel’s shoulder, worried, but did his best to hide it. Attachments.

Nigel just hugged Lee close to him, and put his hand over his heart, which was beating evenly again already. “See? Fine,” he said, and took a deep breath to prove it, without coughing.

“I’d still like if you tried to stop smoking,” Lee said, looking Nigel in the eye. “For my health and yours. I’ve already got lung issues…”

Nigel sighed, pinned by Lee’s big blue eyes, and it was true, he had heard Lee cough. He bit the inside of his cheek, and touched Lee’s chest, over his lungs, feeling him breathe. Fuck, what wouldn’t he do for that face? “Okay. I’ll try,” Nigel agreed, softly. Christ, he’d been smoking since he hit puberty…

“Maybe we can smoke weed together to help,” Lee chuckled, serious though, and kissed Nigel’s jaw softly. He just wanted as much time as possible together.

Nigel laughed at that, and bent down to kiss Lee’s lips, deeply. “Is that how you meditate?” he teased.

“No,” Lee said, with a smile against Nigel’s mouth. “But I hear it’s a great way to help quitting smoking…”

“Okay, okay,” Nigel agreed, for his husband’s sake, and kissed him, softly. “Demanding little thing,” he teased, and gave Lee’s ass a slap through his jeans.

“I’d just like you to live as long as I do. What you do when after I die…” Lee shrugged, curling his body up against Nigel’s as he gazed up him, noses and lips brushing with every word.

Nigel swallowed hard, and nuzzled Lee. “Could be when you’re eighty,” he whispered.

“Then stay alive that long.” Lee palmed down Nigel’s chest and undid the rest of the buttons, running his fingers through the thick chest hair, his ring catching the light.

Nigel had always lived recklessly, like a car careening through narrow streets. He never really imagined or cared whether or not he lived to be an old man, but he did now. “Okay, baby,” Nigel assured Lee, and kissed his lips. “Going to open a bottle?”

Lee grinned and let go of Nigel, walked over to the counter where they set everything down. He twisted off the seal around the cork, and then pressed his thumbs up against it, popping the bottle open. He reached for the champagne flutes, up on his toes, and set them down. He began to pour fizzy bubbles into each glass.

Nigel smiled as Lee had to rise up on his toes to get the fancy glasses, and watched him as he fed Beauty, and petted her while she ate out of her bowl. “Need a fucking ladder for that?” he chuckled.

Lee looked over his shoulder, brows raised. “Are you making fun of me again?”

“Maybe,” Nigel smirked, and walked over to Lee, to kiss the side of his neck. “You’re too fucking cute not to.”

“Mhm,” Lee hummed, and pressed a glass into Nigel’s fingers, raising his own. “To us and long and happy marriage.” 

“Very long,” Nigel nodded, and touched his glass to Lee’s as he stared at him with intense adoration, then looked at their rings with a smile. He took a sip of the champagne, and made a little face, not sure what to think of it as he swallowed. “Not as sweet as the stuff I had before.”

“No, it’s a good balance of dry and sweet,” Lee said, sipping his own and then tossed it back, pouring up some more. He set his glass down and went to his stereo, and put on some jazz. Lee had things here he didn’t in Jersey, but they were things he hadn’t ever thought he’d keep or need, things people could get rid of when he died.

Now they’d be Nigel’s things.

He held out his hand to his  _ husband _ . “Dance with me.”

Nigel didn’t mind this champagne, it wasn’t syrupy and sweet like what he’d tasted before. He downed his glass, then poured another when Lee held out his hand. The jazz started, filling the room with slow, warm music, and Nigel tossed his glass back, then took Lee’s hand and pulled him closer with a strong tug of his arm. “Bossy,” he whispered, and began to sway with Lee, gracefully, obviously having danced before.

“You are full of surprises,” Lee crooned, resting his face up against Nigel’s, letting him lead them around the open floor of his living room.

“We dance in Romania, you know,” Nigel whispered with a smirk, and even dipped Lee for a moment before he swayed with him again, enjoying himself.

“I never said you didn’t, I was just surprised you were so good at it,” Lee laughed, coming back up for a kiss.

Lee was gorgeous all the time, but when he laughed, his blue eyes lit up, sparkling, and Nigel was absolutely transfixed. He kissed Lee deeply as they danced, and showed off by spinning Lee gently, away from him, and then back. “I’m not just some fucking thug, you know.”

"No?” Lee chuckled, and kissed Nigel harder once he was back in his arms, content to be there. “Did you take lessons?”

Nigel smiled a little, and kept swaying with Lee. He hesitated before he answered, “My mom was a dancer, a real dancer, before she had to start stripping and got addicted,” he answered as they swayed together. “When she was clean, she’d teach me in our apartment.”

“That’s sweet,” Lee said, glad to be learning more and more about Nigel, hoping they had more than just a few months to do so.

“She was really talented, it was a fucking shame,” Nigel said with a sad smile, then gave Lee another turn before catching him in his arms.

Lee gathered that Nigel’s parents, especially his mother, were dead. Lee’s own parents disowned him when he was eighteen and came out. It wasn’t quite as fashionable back then as it was now to be gay. “I wish I could have met her.”

“She was kind of a mess,” Nigel murmured, “but she tried. What about your parents?” He asked, holding Lee close by the small of his back with one arm as they moved together, slowly.

"They died a few years ago. I was an only child. The only reason I was left their fortune, was because they weren’t smart enough to make a will,” Lee explained, “Otherwise, I am sure the money would have gone elsewhere.”

“Why the fuck? They didn’t like that you’re gay?” Nigel asked, with a heavy sigh. “Fucking idiots.”

“They were very old fashioned, very southern,” Lee explained, as they swayed, his arms around Nigel’s shoulders, keeping them chest to chest. “They probably thought I’d die from cancer long before they passed on. Karma is a bitch.”

Nigel kissed Lee, slowly, then rested their faces together. “Well, I hope they burn in Hell,” he murmured, loyally.

Lee hummed against Nigel’s mouth, slowly kissing him back. “I don’t bother myself with their memory anymore.”

“Good, they don’t fucking deserve it,” Nigel whispered back, between kisses.

“I’ve got better things to set my mind to,” Lee flirted, running his hands over Nigel’s chest, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, kissing him slowly.

“Like wrestling bears?” Nigel asked, as he let Lee strip him, and began to peel Lee’s shirt off, over his head.

“That's one of them,” Lee flirted, biting at Nigel's  jaw once and then lifted his arms for the shirt to be thrown off.

Nigel stripped the shirt off of his husband, and started to bite at his neck, sucking the skin as he backed him to the couch. “Anything else?”

“Making you moan my name,” Lee whispered, feeling his legs meet the couch first and dropped down onto it, pulling Nigel with him.

“That is pretty fucking important,” Nigel moaned in agreement, and undid his pants, then pushed them down over his ass and thighs, bare underneath. He undressed slowly, making Lee watch and wait for him before he laid over him.

“It is,” Lee agreed, and slid his jeans down slim hips, able to do so without the undoing the buttons, and then kicked them off before pulling Nigel over him again, lithe against strong, smooth against hairy.

Nigel groaned and reached between them to wrap one rough palm around their cocks while he kissed Lee, slowly, and deeply. He began to stroke them, and sucked Lee’s tongue before whispering against his lips, “I’ve never fucked my husband before…”

“Your husband would greatly appreciate a good fucking,” Lee chuckled, rolling his hips up into Nigel’s rough palm. “Need to consummate this marriage.”

Nigel stared, openly, as wildly attracted to Lee now as he had been the day they met … about a week ago. “Can’t let it go to waste,” Nigel agreed in a rough voice, “but I’m going to need you to fucking wet me, gorgeous…” he groaned, and nipped at Lee’s lower lip.

“When have I ever complained about doing that?” Lee grinned, and pushed Nigel over, and crawled between his legs, curling himself at the end of the long couch. He licked a long, clean strip up Nigel cock slowly.

“That fucking mouth of yours…” Nigel moaned as he spread his long legs slowly, one hand in Lee’s short hair, and shivered at the feeling of being licked like that.

Lee grinned as he did it again, and again, like Nigel’s cock was a lollipop. He then sucked him down and lathed his wet, hot tongue against the head, roughly, and pumped him a few times, squeezing up to the top with a hum.

“Jesus fucking Christ, yes,” Nigel moaned, watching Lee with half-lidded eyes, his cock throbbing hard at the way Lee sucked and licked. Nigel hated every single bastard Lee had ever been with but … fuck, he was good in bed.

Lee prided himself on getting Nigel to look like that, disheveled and jealous all at once, just  _ knowing _ what he must be wondering about where he learned that from. Lee scraped his teeth against the sensitive skin and left a path of slick wet saliva on Nigel’s cock.

“Fuck-” Nigel swore, shivering at the pleasure, and scraped his short nails over Lee’s neck, “We’ll never fuck anyone else…” he moaned, and pulled Lee off of his cock to kiss him, hard, and push him back against the other end of the sofa.

Lee groaned against Nigel’s mouth softly, tugging him in closer with his arms around his shoulders. “Why would we fuck anyone else when we have each other?”

Nigel smiled down at Lee at that, silver and ash strands of hair falling in his dark eyes as he licked two of his own fingers slowly, for Lee to watch, and slipped them into Lee, staring at him all the while. “Like you read my fucking mind,  _ husband _ .”

Hips rolling into the sensation of being filled, Lee watched Nigel’s eyes, his own wide and dark, lust blown. “No one compares to  _ my _ bear.”

Nigel twisted his fingers slowly, and flexed them, spreading and bending them so that his knuckles rubbed against Lee’s prostate with every tiny motion. “Fuck, I love you,” Nigel growled, feral in his affection as he bit Lee’s earlobe.

Lee gasped out, holding Nigel against, head craned to the side as Nigel bit, wanting more of his mouth on his skin as the sensation raised goosebumps across it. “I love you,” he whispered back, hips rolling and meeting Nigel’s fingers, taking them deeper.

Those words on Lee’s lips made Nigel’s skin break out in warm goosebumps. He pulled his long fingers out, and pressed his cock in, slowly, their faces almost touching as they shared the same breath while their bodies joined. It felt so easy, so seamless, so much like being with Lee … like they should have been together much sooner than this.

Gripping Nigel tightly, Lee slid his hands down to his face and kissed him, softly at first as they connected, and then more passionately as Nigel slid in and sped up, soon just breathing panted breaths against each other’s mouths.

They were always intense, but this was different, deeper somehow, not as much about pounding and bruising until orgasm but … merging. “Lee,” Nigel whispered, breathlessly as he thrust into Lee’s body, using his name for once, not a nickname.

They were conjoining, melding in as one, like soul mates. Lee gripped tighter, legs and arms wrapped around Nigel as they made love. “Nigel…” he moaned, into his ear, sweating pooling between their hips and chests.

Nigel reached between them and fisted Lee’s cock as their bodies moved together, in perfect synch, hotter and faster by the second. His mouth roved all over Lee, everywhere he could kiss, his ear, his neck, his scruffy jaw, his lips, the bridge of his nose, everywhere.

A slow swell of pleasure built in Lee’s spine and pooled in his back, hips arching into Nigel’s with every long pass, sped up until his whole body felt on fire. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, gripping Nigel’s hair tightly with hands.

“Put your legs around me,” Nigel whispered in Lee’s ear, his voice deep and rough, crackling with heat, like coals, as his hips pistoned, slowly.

Lee wrapped his legs tighter around Nigel, holding on with all his strength. Nigel moaned and held Lee’s shoulder, keeping him still with one hand while he stroked him with the other, and whispered Romanian into his ear, the words exotic and mysterious, but full of emotion, whatever it was they meant as Nigel began to pound himself into Lee’s body.

“Oh,” Lee moaned, not sure what he was saying, but it didn’t matter. “More, keep talking.” The words went straight to his groin, pushing his pleasure over the edge, ready boil right over.

Nigel kept speaking, breathless, his voice shaking a little as he kept fucking Lee, harder with every snap of his hips, the words never stopping even as he had to grit his teeth not to come. Nigel’s fist kept time with his hips, around Lee’s cock.

Panting and gasping, Lee tipped right over, slipping as his eyes squeezed tightly shut, white hot heat exploding through loins. “Nigel-!” he gripped tighter, spasming around him.

Nigel followed, gasping. He held onto Lee at his shoulder and his hip hard enough that little bruises would haunt Lee’s skin for days as he came, moaning and gasping Lee’s name loudly before he rode it out, and finally laid over Lee, trembling and breathless.

Lee let his limbs go slack, hands stroking Nigel’s sweaty hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever had sex like that,” he whispered, kissing Nigel’s face and then his ear. He felt completely close to Nigel, like their souls meshed and melted together just then.

“Me neither,” Nigel whispered back, as both arms slipped around Lee, holding him close as he kissed him back, heart still pounding in his chest violently. He felt like champagne was running through his veins instead of blood, bubbly and light.

Lee licked Nigel’s lips slowly, and then kissed him deeply. “You can do that anytime.”

“Do what? Fuck you on the couch while I whisper Romanian wedding vows into your ear?” Nigel asked, as he nuzzled Lee’s neck.

“Is that what that was?” Lee laughed, brows raised, delighted. “I'd listen to you speak Romanian any time, any day. Whether you were fucking me or not.”

“You like it?” Nigel asked, with a smile as he kissed Lee’s forehead, then bit at the strong line of his perfectly sharp jaw, doting on his husband in the afterglow.

Lee groaned happily, holding Nigel to him, not yet ready to let go. “Yes.” Somehow, Nigel was perfect for him, and how he'd been without now, Lee had no idea. Though Nigel was clearly an attachment, it was one Lee knew he needed.

“I’ll do it more often, in that case,” Nigel whispered, and nibbled Lee’s earlobe, sucking it like it was some sort of delicacy. “Especially when I’m fucking you, maybe I’ll tell you how good your mouth is in Romanian next time you blow me.”

Lee turned his head to capture Nigel's mouth with his own, kissing him deeply, slowly, working his tongue against his husband's. “Please do.”

“Looking forward to it already,” Nigel whispered and kissed Lee back, slowly, utterly in love with him. He pulled back, very slowly, and got off of Lee with a sigh, then got the champagne bottle and their glasses, and took them back to the couch. He poured a glass for Lee, and drank his right out of the bottle. “I kind of like this shit.”

“It's not shit for one,” Lee grinned, taking his glass from Nigel. He sipped long out of it and then held it for Nigel to pour more.

Nigel laughed, and poured more champagne into Lee’s glass. “Oh, I’m sorry. Should I apologize to the bottle?” Nigel teased.

Lee tilted his head up, eyeing Nigel’s seriously, but couldn't keep a straight face. “Yes.”

Nigel took another swig from the bottle, then kissed the side of it. “There. It fucking forgives me,” he murmured, already surprisingly buzzed from the champagne for some reason.

They weren't necessarily buzzed as they were high on each other and in love. Lee downed his champagne and stood to get the new bottle. “You're such a sweetheart.”

“I really fucking am,” Nigel said, and looked at his jeans as his phone buzzed. He reached over to pick the phone up, and looked at it, flipping through photos before he looked at Lee, and texted back.

Lee popped the bottle top off and brought it over to where Nigel was still seated. “More trouble?”

Nigel gave Lee a look with a smile in his eyes, but hesitated, not sure if he should show him or not. He chewed his lower lip for a second before he handed Lee the phone, with the pictures on it. “No, just bought a place. Take a look. It’s two blocks from the hospital, top floor of a tower, nice view.”

“You bought a place?” Lee asked taking the phone to thumb through all the extravagant pictures. “Nigel…”

The photos were of a beautiful penthouse Nigel would never have bought for himself in a million years. It was full of windows, and surrounded by deep balconies on all sides that were green with oriental inspired gardens. All the wood in the penthouse was a warm, honey color, and the decor was very minimalist, very zen. It looked comfortable, spotless, and restful from the pristine bed on a platform in front of a river rock fireplace to the round stone tub in a bathroom filled with plants and sunlight. It was exactly the sort of place Nigel wanted Lee to get better in. It looked like a little heaven, if Buddhists believed in that sort of shit. “An investment for the future,” Nigel said, as he leaned closer to Lee from the side, looking at the photos with him. “Safe as fuck, too. Fingerprint scanning _private_ elevator, top floor, twenty four hour armed security guards at the entrances, a safe room inside the apartment that’s fucking _everything_ proof with air filters, and water filters, and all sorts of fancy shit. All I fucking ask is I get one _normal_ _fucking chair_ in front of the television where I can watch a football match and drink beer. You can keep the rest of it as … buddhist as you want, baby.”

The last photo was of a little spot in the garden obviously made for someone who liked to meditate, with a little bird perched on the edge of the bamboo privacy wall, head tilted as it looked into the camera.

All Lee really wanted out of the whole thing was the spot in the garden. He didn’t need the rest, it was large and spacious, and just… a lot more than he knew what to do with. Even his apartment here in New Orleans was small, but nice. “It’s huge…”

“It’s fucking safe enough for you to live in,” Nigel said, pointedly. “You don’t like it?”

“Safe enough?” Lee looked up from the phone right into Nigel’s eyes. He should have known this would happen, that Nigel would feel the need to take care of him and provide. “I was safe in my old place too.” He sighed and looked through the pictures again. It was serene, but a lot. Maybe he could use some of it for his guided meditation sessions. “No, it’s… it’s a lot but it’s perfect.”

Nigel’s eyes were worried, and dark, he looked at the phone again, and then back up at Lee. “I just fucking want you to be safe when I go out. I don’t want to fucking worry that someone’s going to get to you and Beauty and fucking torch the place while you sleep. It’s big, but … okay, fine, then close some fucking doors and pretend they’re not there, I don’t give a shit how big it is.”

Lee didn’t bother with a glass anymore, he drank out of the new bottle, a few chugs, and then kissed Nigel deeply. “Okay. Because of your work, I’ll live there.”

Nigel smiled against Lee’s lips, and kissed him over and over, “Beauty will have lots of room to chase a ball, think about it that way. Do you fucking hate it though? Should I back out of the deal? I thought you liked all this … Japanese stuff. I can tell my guy not to sign…”

If Lee said no, he knew Nigel would just find something else extreme. “It’s perfect. I’ll adapt.” He lived with practically nothing right now in Jersey, just what he needed and nothing else.

Nigel sighed through his nose, and set the phone aside, shaking his head at Lee. “You’re a fucking funny one,” he said, affectionately, and laid down again, pulling Lee down to his chest.

“Funny?” He raised his brow at Nigel, and crawled over him, setting the bottle down next to Nigel’s, and resting their foreheads together like this, naked and perfectly happy to be.

“That’s the most expensive, biggest thing I’ve ever fucking bought, and it’s for you, and you complain it’s too big,” Nigel chuckled, then looked at Lee, happily. “You can fucking take Beauty for jogs inside it, if you want,” he said.

“I’m not jogging around the house,” Lee commented, “Besides, she needs to go out to do her business, not on the tile.”

“I was fucking kidding,” Nigel laughed, and took another swallow of champagne from the bottle, starting to really like the stuff. Damn it, Lee was turning him into a snob.

“I don’t think you were,” Lee said, knowing that Nigel was going to have a hard time with Lee even going out to run around the block when they got back to Jersey, let alone by himself.

“Sure I was,” Nigel murmured with a smirk, and bit at Lee’s jaw.

Lee rolled his eyes and sat up on Nigel’s hips, grabbing his bottle of champagne, and downed a few gulps, feeling the buzz flow through his system. They hadn’t eaten since ‘breakfast’, and he had nothing in the apartment.

“What? There’s a nice fucking park right outside, too,” Nigel said, defending himself, since it was obvious his husband didn’t believe him. He got on the phone, and spoke Romanian into it, then hung up. A second later, pictures came through from the balcony, of a beautiful park just outside of the building, and just past it, the hospital. “See?”

Lee palmed down Nigel’s chest as he looked at the pictures. “Alright…” Not worth arguing about, but Lee would prepare himself for more talk about this later when he tried to walk to the hospital for treatments.

“I don’t want you to be a fucking shut in, if that’s what you’re worrying about,” Nigel said, gruffly.

“No?” Lee asked, quietly, licking his lip of the champagne drop there. He wasn’t sure if he should tell Nigel that at some point he’d be pretty sick, that in doors would be better, as catching a cold would be life threatening. No, he’d wait for that.

“No, just don’t want to have to worry about you and Beauty being home when someone gets past shitty security, that’s all,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s lips, softly, both hands cupping his face.”

Lee had been doing alright by himself, and honestly, being with Nigel was dangerous, but at least Nigel knew it, at least he was trying to protect him. Lee could hold his own, sure, but up against a gang of thugs worse than Nigel? Probably not. He smiled against Nigel’s lips. “For you, I’ll live there.”

Nigel chuckled at that, then started laughing aloud, and kissed Lee. “That’s a big fucking sacrifice, thanks, baby.”

Nigel had already turned Lee’s world upside down, though Lee suspected he’d done the same in return. They’d gotten married, on a whim, something so out of character for Lee, and yet he couldn’t think of anything better than being right here with Nigel, knowing he’d spend the rest of his days with him. “It is. You’re lucky I love you.”

“I am the fucking luckiest son of a bitch in the world,” Nigel said, seriously. Lee had done just the same for him, utterly changed everything he thought he wanted out of life, and re-organized his priorities. Lee was the light of Nigel’s life, he might be overbearing, but he wasn’t going to let the light just go out. 

Love was made up of compromises and growing attached to someone to make those compromises. Lee never thought he’d be able to do that in his state, but here he was, attached. “Yes you are.” He grinned and leaned down to kiss Nigel deeply.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're not crying, you are.

After the plane ride home, they headed directly to the new place. Nigel was given their keys by a man in a suit and sunglasses at the airport, who nodded at Lee respectfully, and left again after bringing Nigel’s car around.    
  
“When’s your treatment? What time?” Nigel asked. It was early, Monday morning, after all. Nigel knew Lee hated being late for them.

"Moved it up to two,” Lee said, having watched the interaction with a little awe, never do aware as to what Nigel did until he saw things like this happen.

“We’ve got a couple hours, want to see the place? Get food?” Nigel asked as he opened the door for Beauty, who jumped into the back seat automatically. He held it for Lee, admiring him as he came closer.

Convinced by Nigel to bring of his clothes over from New Orleans, Lee shoved his suitcase into the back with a nod, and got in. “Sounds great. I’m starved.”

“Where do you want to go? Breakfast? Pancakes?” Nigel asked as he climbed in and drove off, headed toward the hospital and their new home, sure they could find something good.

“Sure, that sounds good,” Lee said, with a heavy sigh, watching the path grow more and more familiar as they drove, one he’d run countless times. “There’s a small diner down the way from the hospital. If you want to stop there.”

“Sure,” Nigel nodded, and looked over at Lee. Lee seemed exhausted today, but Nigel knew Lee didn’t want questions. “Get some fucking coffee…” Beauty put her chin on Lee’s shoulder, and licked his ear, gently.

Lee reached behind him to scratch Beauty’s ears. Their weekend had been exciting, and filled with dread and hope all at once. They started a new life together and Nigel snuffed out the life of someone else holding Lee down without him ever realizing it. It was a lot to take in, and yet here they were. “Coffee sounds wonderful right now.”

“Fucking agreed, baby,” Nigel said as he took a corner slowly. He used to rip around them, but found himself being a little more careful, Beauty wasn’t belted in, he didn’t need her flying. His priorities now were the man beside him, and the dog in the back seat, his family.

“I think I’ll ask not to be seated across from Mrs. Norman today,” Lee said, conversationally. “She’ll be unruly when she finds out we’ve married.”

Nigel laughed hard at that, and his hand moved to his coat pocket for the tenth time this morning for a cigarette before he remembered he didn’t smoke anymore, damn it. “I thought maybe we could show her our fucking rings,” he muttered.

“She’d stroke out, I’m sure of it,” Lee laughed, hard, ending with a cough that had a light wheeze behind it, into his shoulder. He cleared his throat.

Nigel rubbed Lee’s arm as they neared the hospital. “Where do I go from here?”

“Around the corner, it’s just behind the hospital there,” Lee said, having a feeling already that today was not going to be a pleasant one with already feeling low physically. Food would hopefully help.

“Got it,” Nigel nodded, and took Lee’s hand in his. It was already cold. “Want me to pull your old man sweater out of the back?” he offered, as he spotted the diner, and found a parking space.

“No,” Lee whispered, “We’ll get it when we go to the hospital.”  He brought Nigel’s knuckles to his lips and kissed them before sliding out of the car.

Nigel let Beauty out of the car, as he got out, and tried to keep a close eye on Lee without looking like he was watching him too much. “Sure thing, gorgeous,” he said, and patted his pockets again. “Fuck, I’m still looking for my fucking cigarettes.”

Lee reached into his jeans pocket and gave Nigel the gum they had bought before leaving. “Chew that after breakfast. It’ll help.” He opened the door of the cafe, and coughed again into his shoulder, and politely asked for a seat on the patio under the heating lamps so Beauty could sit with them.

Nigel sighed at the gum, shifting his jaw. He’d fucking mug a priest for a cigarette right now, and the lack of nicotine wasn’t helping him not fucking worry about Lee, who didn’t want to be worried over. “Maybe…” Nigel muttered, and followed the server to a table near a heating lamp. He picked up the table with both hands and moved it, so Lee could sit right under the lamp, then sat down in his chair.

Lee watched Nigel move the table and then sat his chair under it too, in just a thermal shirt right now, trying his best not to seem cold. He looked at the menu but already knew what he wanted. “Coffee and french toast, side of chicken sausage, please.”

“Bacon and eggs, coffee,” Nigel said without looking at the menu and stretched out in his chair as Beauty laid under the table, between them, as she liked to during meals. The waitress nodded and took the menus away with her as Nigel looked back at a man smoking at another table. “Oh for fuck’s sake…”

Lee watched Nigel get prickly, and laughed a little. “Regrets?”

Nigel took a deep breath of the second hand smoke with closed eyes and sighed. “I must really fucking love you.”

“I’m not stopping you, I only asked if you would. The choice is always yours, Nigel,” Lee said, frankly, as the waitress sat coffee cups down in front of them and filled them with a fresh pot. “Thank you.”

“I knew you’d say that,” Nigel grumbled, and took his coffee, swallowing a large mouthful of the burning, black stuff with a sigh. He was barely restraining himself from mugging that guy behind him for his cigarettes.

“Am I predictable already?” Lee asked, canting his head as he put  a tiny amount of sugar into his coffee, and then wrapped his fingers around the mug to warm his hands.

Nigel chuckled to himself and smirked at Lee as he let their feet touch under the table. “Maybe I know you already.”

Lee smiled into his mug and took a sip, rubbing the toe of his sneakers against Nigel’s booted foot. “What else do you know about me?”

“You’re not feeling well today, but you don’t want any fucking pity, so you don’t want to mention it. You’re also dying to go for a run, but you know damn well I’m not going to let you jog after chemo, so you’re going to try and get it done before. You love me, you love the fucking dog, you think you brought too many clothes back from New Orleans, you are starting to like your ring more than you thought you would, and you can’t wait to tell Bertha we’re fuckng married.”

Licking his lips, Lee’s smile widened against the rim of his mug as he took another sip. “Look at you thinking you know me and… shit.” He rubbed his shoe up against Nigel’s leg this time, fondly. “Bertha’s going to be thrilled, she might not look like it but she will be.”

Nigel smiled, and forgot about cigarettes for a second when Lee touched his leg like that. “One of those hard to read kinds? Seems like it,” he said, and looked at Lee’s wedding ring over the table, how the diamonds caught the sunlight.

Lee just smiled, shaking his head a little and set his mug down. He reached over for Nigel’s hand, leaning against the table. “How did I get lucky, hm?”

“Luck has nothing to do with it, you have an ass that won’t quit,” Nigel joked, and held Lee’s hand as he winked at him.

Lee scoffed and then rested his chin into one upturned hand. “That’s what convinced you to marry me? My ass?”

“It’s one of the things,” Nigel teased, as their food arrived, “there are other reasons…”

“Well you have all afternoon to indulge me,” Lee said, squeezing Nigel’s hand once, and then let go. He picked up his form and smothered his french toast with the syrup provided and cut his sausages into tiny bite sized pieces, and then his toast.

“Why the hell did you marry me?” Nigel asked, curiously, as he dug into his bacon and eggs, starving.

“You are unlike anyone I’ve ever known. You broke down my walls, for one, without even trying. You’ve only ever respected what I’ve asked of you, despite Martin,” Lee raised a hand for Nigel not to say anything, “And you were right about him, so let’s not get into that.” He took a bite of his food, layering sausage on french toast. He hummed, chewed, and swallowed. “You’re the man of my dreams, but I’ll never admit that.” He winked over at his husband, and licked syrup off his own lip.

Nigel’s dark eyes took on a warm glow as Lee spoke. He was confident, of course, but he couldn’t remember anyone had ever said such nice things about him … maybe never.  Nigel stood, and leaned over the table to kiss Lee on the lips right then and there, for it. Lee set his fork down and clutched Nigel’s shirt with one hand, keeping him there for a long, deep kiss, sliding their tongues together, sharing the taste of sticky sweet syrup.

Nigel groaned against Lee’s tongue, and finally pulled back when they were both heated up and flushed. “Never admit it, huh?” he asked, in a whisper.

“Never,” Lee whispered back, smiling up at Nigel before letting him go and pushing him back down. “Eat.”

Nigel laughed at Lee, again, and sat in his chair, more relaxed now as he finished his breakfast and emptied his cup of coffee. “If I’m a fucking bear, you’re the bossy little bird on my shoulder.”

“A bird?” Lee laughed at that, not at being bossy because he knew he was, of course. He stuffed more of his meal into his mouth, knowing he’d need his strength for later.

“Yeah, fucking chirping away in my ear,” Nigel said, and put his plate on the ground for Beauty to clean off.

Lee rolled his eyes and finished his coffee, full to the point he might brim, so he stopped. “Better than a bug, I guess.”

“What? Birds are fucking cute,” Nigel said, as a waiter brought them more coffee, and took Lee’s plate.

Lee thanked her again, and sipped his refilled coffee, shoes touching shoes under the table again. “They can be.”

“Birds are fucking restless, always moving, don’t want to get fucking tied down to anything…” Nigel reasoned as he huffed a strand of steely hair out of his eyes.

Lee laughed. “I’ve been called a cat before, but never a bird.” He canted his head fondly at Nigel. “I’ll be your bird though, so long as you’ll have me.”

“Already told you, gorgeous, I’ll have you for fucking ever,” Nigel purred, and took Lee’s hand to kiss over the table with glittering deep brown eyes.

Sipping coffee with his free hand, Lee squeezed Nigel's with his other. “Ready to go. I want to see the place you've provided for us.”

“Okay, okay,” Nigel said, as he put a few bills under his mug and stood with Lee, whistling for Beauty, who followed with a wag of her now fluffy tail. She was growing into her name, absolutely unrecognizable from the scrawny, shaking dog Nigel brought to Lee a week ago.

Lee stood, taking Nigel's hand, shivering. They'd be at the car soon, though. They walked through the cafe and then back to the car, where Lee got in after Beauty.

Nigel went to the back of the car, and unzipped Lee’s bag, hunting until he found the ugly old man sweater, then brought it to him. “You’re fucking shivering,” he said.

“It's cold,” Lee stated but put his sweater on, buttoning it up and then buckled up.

Nigel just sighed, closed Lee’s door for him, and got in the driver’s side before he looked at his phone for the location, and headed to their new place. “It’s not that cold out, baby.”

It was fall, the weather changing, it was cold, at least to Lee. “Maybe not to you.”  
Nigel looked over at Lee, and took his hand, which was cold to the touch. Nigel’s was warm like a furnace, and strong around Lee’s. “Not to me, not to everyone in fucking shorts, either,” he pointed out, nodding at a group on the sidewalk, all dressed for summer.

So, fall might have been around, but it wasn’t full bloom yet. Lee looked at their hands, his pale against Nigel’s tanned one. He wasn’t so used to having anyone care or point out that maybe it was him. “I’ll go for a run in a bit, get circulation going again.”

“You don’t want to rest before we go to the clinic?” Nigel asked, with concern in his eyes as they pulled up to the parking garage, and Nigel used a keypass to get into the parking lot.

“I have the rest of the day to rest after treatment,” Lee commented, pulling the sweater around himself tighter.

“I’ll go with you, me and Beauty. We’ll see how my fucking lungs are holding up,” Nigel said, as he found the wide parking spot next to the private elevator. A guard stood at the elevator, and nodded as Nigel stepped out, then offered to help with the bags. Nigel waved them off and took them himself, so Lee couldn’t take them.

Nigel was starting to do the things Lee hadn’t wanted, but for now he kept the comment to himself, and got out, following after his husband into the secured elevator, arms crossed over his chest. “You’re going to come run with me?”

Honestly, Nigel was pretty sure Lee might collapse on his fucking run. “Unless you don’t want me to,” Nigel said, with a look at Lee. He was not good at tact, or not stepping on someone’s feeling but he was trying, for fuck’s sake.

Lee smiled over at Nigel, watching him as the elevator rose to the top floor. “I would love for you to come with me.”

“I don’t fucking jog for just anyone,” Nigel grumbled, and leaned in to bite the lobe of Lee’s ear.

Lee groaned, head canted into Nigel's biting, breath hot against his ear. Their exercise had consisted of nothing but fucking for the whole weekend, not that Lee minded. “Should I get a head start and let you chase me down?” he teased.

“You think I couldn’t?” Nigel chuckled as the elevator arrived at the top of the building and opened directly into the spacious, beautiful suite, which was even more stunning in person.

“I’m sure you could, but you’d keel over after you caught me,” Lee flirted, winking at Nigel, and then stepped out, Beauty beside him. “Wow…”

Nigel looked at Lee, rather than the place itself, and smirked as Lee seemed to appreciate the incredible light and woodwork in the Japanese inspired penthouse in person more than he did in a photo. “Not fucking bad…” Nigel said, with a nod.

“It’s beautiful,” Lee said, stepping in to look at everything, even though there was so much to look at, so much space.

The entire penthouse was one floor, which Nigel liked, considering how tired Lee could get. If things got worse, he didn’t have to worry about Lee falling down stairs. He was fucking obsessed with Lee, with keeping him safe, keeping him alive. “So, not such a bad fucking investment, huh?” Nigel asked and walked into the kitchen after he put the bags down. The kitchen was just as airy and beautiful as the rest of the place with white stone counters, and a feeling of serenity to it. 

A door beside the large refrigerator was propped open, and Nigel looked inside after Beauty nosed her way in. Sure enough, a wine cellar, one wall already stocked with “the best wines” as Nigel told his assistant to manage. Once again, he’d come through. The man was getting a fucking raise.

Lee followed behind Nigel, looking at everything. He didn’t need much, but he could definitely appreciate the effort Nigel went through to make things as peaceful and at home for Lee. He laughed at the wine cellar. “Now I can be drunk and meditate too.”

That was all Nigel needed, to see Lee laugh like that. He walked over to him, and looked in with him. “As much as you want, baby. Look at the shelves to fill up, too. Lots of wine shopping,” he murmured, as he wrapped his arms around Lee from behind, warming him through the sweater. “Come see the fucking bathtub. It’s a big deal, I guess.”

“The bathtub?” Lee questioned, arms folded over Nigel’s where they hooked around him, leaning back into his strength where Lee felt he had very little right now.

“My assistant went on and fucking on about it. Some special Japanese bathtub or something,” Nigel murmured, and kissed the side of Lee’s neck before he guided him through the sunny, airy living room, down a hall, and into the master bedroom, which was stunningly peaceful.

“There’s not one flight of stairs in here is there?” Lee asked, being guided through. The bedroom was minimal, but just as Lee would have preferred it.

“No, all one level,” Nigel said as they walked through, and Nigel opened the bathroom door. The bathroom looked like something out of another, more peaceful world. Stone tile gave way to smooth river rocks around a tall, slender, marble soaking tub in a corner by windows that allowed a beautiful view of their private deck and it’s plants.

“Did this place come like this?” Lee asked, slipping away from Nigel to look at everything, touching the stone tub with his fingers, eyes flitting to the view.

“Mostly,” Nigel said, vaguely, and with a smirk in his voice. He had his assistant bring in contractors to install the super warm soaking tub for Lee in the last couple of days, and install the wine cellar. His assistant said this tub was the best for keeping warm, and it was zen and minimal, and Nigel said yes.

“We could probably both fit in here, if we snuggle up real tight,” Lee said, looking down into the beautiful tub.

Nigel smiled, and stepped into the tub easily, then leaned back against the side. “There’s room for you in here,” he flirted back at Lee.

Lee smiled brightly and carefully slid inside with Nigel, and sat between his legs, back to chest, resting his head up against his shoulder. “I could get used to this.”

“Yeah?” Nigel asked, and started to strip off Lee’s sweater, then his shirt. “We could test it out…”

“Mm,” Lee hummed and let Nigel undress him, kicking off his sneakers, he tossed them outside of the tub for now, socks too.

Nigel groaned happily against Lee’s ear and undid his pants, urging them down his thighs before he stripped them off with Lee’s underwear, and tossed them out of the tub, then pulled his own leather jacket off.

“You're still wearing too much,” Lee laughed, turning to help Nigel out of his shirt and then his jeans.

Nigel tossed his shirt behind the tub, and arched his hips for Lee to pull his jeans off, bare underneath, “Let’s fucking fix that…” he whispered, between kisses to Lee’s mouth.

Grinning against Nigel's mouth, Lee undid his jeans and stripped them from his muscular thighs. He threw those out of the tub too. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Nigel nodded and toed his socks off, then reached down and tossed them out before he pulled Lee into his lap. “Start the water, baby.”

Lee reached over and started up the water, back in his position with his back against Nigel’s chest, the water immediately warm. “You’re spoiling me.”

“Fucking right I am,” Nigel whispered as he ran his hands up Lee’s bare, firm chest, and tweaked his nipples as he sucked dark hickies into the side of his neck. “I love spoiling you fucking rotten.”

Knowing this was Nigel’s way of keeping him from going for his run, Lee shifted his gaze to catch Nigel’s as he mauled his neck, hitting every spot that made Lee weak in the knees with lust. “I can tell,” he whispered, breathless already.

Nigel palmed Lee’s cock with one hand, his ass with the other, already hard against his firm cheeks. “Love spoiling you, love fucking you, too…”

Lee rested his head back, giving into Nigel’s hot hands all over him, working him up. “Love when you fuck me,” he whispered, hips rolling back into Nigel’s, slipping his cock between his cheeks as the water rose around them.

“I can fucking tell,” Nigel moaned, and gave Lee’s cock a squeeze, moaning at how hard Lee was, already.

Lee turned his head and kissed Nigel’s jaw and then his pulse in his neck, shifting his hips into Nigel’s calloused hand with a soft, wanton, sigh. “Want you.”

The water was up against their knees now. “Better wet me, then, unless you want me to fuck you raw,” Nigel whispered, breathless and flushed, his nipples as hard and dark as his cock.

Shifting to the other side of the tub, Lee looked Nigel over and beckoned him closer. “Stand and fuck my mouth,” he demanded, in his best serious tone.

Nigel chuckled, and bit Lee’s neck again, dragging his teeth over flushed, hot, sweaty skin. “Bossy,” he tutted, but moved out from under Lee, and stood. “Ask fucking nicely, and I’ll fuck your mouth, baby.” Nigel’s cock throbbed just in front of where Lee sat on the low stone bench in the tub.

Lee licked his lips and reached out, grasping Nigel’s cock and fisting it twice before he licked the tip slowly. “ _ Please _ fuck my mouth.” Big blue eyes gazed up at Nigel, dark with lust under even darker lashes.

Nigel moaned at that, and stroked his thumb over Lee’s lower lip, slowly, his cock twitching as he leaned closer. “Good boy, open wide,” Nigel whispered, and guided his cock to Lee’s lips.

Leaning in, Lee wrapped his pink lips around Nigel’s cock with a long, humming groan, letting it vibrate through his mouth and against Nigel. He grasped Nigel’s thighs and pulled him closer, taking him all the way down to the hilt.

Nigel gasped, his head falling forward, ashy hair spilling into his face. He ran his hand over Lee’s short hair, and started to moan and whisper in Romanian as he pressed himself in and out of Lee’s mouth, telling him what a good cocksucker he was.

Lee licked and lathed his tongue around Nigel’s cock, deep throating him on the way down, and roughly spreading his tongue over the head on his way back. He pulled over and nosed his way against Nigel’s balls, licking and sucking each one into his mouth.

Nigel gasped again, surprised, and snarled a few words in Romanian, rough praise for Lee’s mouth as he opened his eyes and stared down at him as the water rose around them, hot and steaming. “Fuck, Lee, suck them harder …” he demanded, nails scraping Lee’s scalp.

Long sweeps of Lee’s tongue rolled the balls in his mouth, one-by-one, as he fisted Nigel’s cock with one hand. He reached further back with his tongue, and teasing swiped it against the spot just behind his balls, and then sucked on the sensitive skin before doing the same again with each testicle.

Nigel moaned, swearing in both languages as he pulled Lee off, suddenly, eyes pitch black with spread pupil, cock throbbing. Another second of that and he was going to come. “Come here,” he commanded, and sat down, pulling Lee into his lap, and then over him, with haste. Nigel started to fuck Lee immediately, unable to wait another fucking second to bury himself in Lee’s tight body.

Lee’s hands rested on Nigel’s shoulders, using them to leverage himself against Nigel with each up swing of his cock into his tight heat. “Nigel-” he groaned, head bent forward, gasping already.

“Is this what you wanted?” Nigel growled in Lee’s ear before he bit it, quickly, his hips pounding into Lee hard and fast. The water sloshed as it rose but the sides of the tub were more than high enough to keep everything cocooned around them.

“Mhm,” Lee hummed. He placed his hands on the side of the tub behind Nigel and gripped hard as he rutted down, taking his thick cock to the hilt every time. “Yes, fuck…”

Nigel moaned and rammed Lee down over his cock then stood, swiftly, and bent Lee over the side of the tub to start to fuck him from behind. “Reach down and grab that beautiful cock, baby, stroke it while I fuck you like this, this tight little body of yours…” Nigel whispered in Lee’s ear.

One hand on the side this time, Lee arched and bent, reaching between his thigh to fist himself, slow at first and then matching Nigel’s speed, gasping. “Oh fuck, Nigel, please, harder-”

Nigel began to whisper in Romanian, then translated into English as his cock plowed deeper and deeper into Lee’s body. “So eager and such a tight, smooth little body, I could fuck you all day,” Nigel said, in both languages, starting to fuck Lee harder against the thick stone wall of the tub. His body flushed, and he could feel himself starting to wind up inside, breathless and hot.

Lee’s body started to tense up around Nigel’s cock, ass arched against him as his body bloomed with heat, threatening to spill over his own knuckles. “Fuck,” was all he could moan before he let loose, pearly white ropes of come dripping down his fingers and against the tub.

“Oh, god, fuck, yes, come on Lee,” Nigel growled, and slapped Lee’s ass hard as he came, twice, then fucked him, even harder than before, with almost frantic passion as he started to groan loudly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, gonna come in this pretty little ass of yours, baby-” Nigel gasped before he growled and shuddered, buried deep in Lee’s body as he came.

Lee reached back one hand and touch Nigel’s hip as he came, gripping him hard as he rode out the waves of his own orgasm, even still. No matter how often they did it a day, it was still amazing, even after a week full of it. Lee was sure he’d never grow tired. “Nigel... “ he sighed.

Nigel wrapped his arms around Lee’s chest from behind, then pulled him down into the water, slowly, in his lap. He sat on the bench again, holding Lee as he kissed his shoulder, and the side of his arm, heart fluttering in his hairy chest. 

The water was up to their nipples now, warm and soothing after their exertions. “I will never get tired of you…” Nigel whispered.

Lee laughed, breathlessly. “I… I hope not.” He swallowed a breath and then closed his eyes, exhausted now, but content to rest there with Nigel. They had time.

Nigel turned the water on again, letting it rise a little more as he held Lee, still covering his shoulders with kisses. “I don’t know what the fuck you do to me, but I can’t get enough of you.”

“Yeah?” Lee grinned, breathing slowing down now. “You’re addicting, too.”

The water rose, steaming, around their well-worked bodies, and Nigel shut it off with his foot when it reached their shoulders. It felt like being wrapped in a hot blanket, blissfully relaxing. “No wonder we can’t stop fucking,” he laughed, and rested his chin on Lee’s shoulder, then looked up at him.

“Feels like I need you like air,” Lee explained with a sigh. “Like I wasn’t really living before, just… ghosting by,  _ thinking _ I was living.”

Nigel actually managed to blush at that, through his perpetual tan, and turned Lee’s face to kiss his lips. “You’ve fucking got me now, gorgeous. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nigel opened Lee up in ways he never realized he’d been missing out on before. He kissed Nigel back slowly, one hand on the back of his neck .”I love you.”

“Love you too,” Nigel purred, and rubbed Lee’s back, which felt thinner today than yesterday, just a little bit. “Do we have time for a fucking nap?”

Lee laughed; “What time is it?” His phone was in his pants, and he didn’t have a watch.

“I don’t fucking know,” Nigel sighed, and made no indication that he was about to move a muscle. “Noonish? Something like that.”  Beauty followed them in, and was rolling on Nigel’s shirt.

“We have time for a small one,” Lee said, decidedly, but made no move to get out. He laughed again, “We have no towels.” The racks were bare.

“Fuck. Fuck zen shit,” Nigel laughed, looking around for any sign of towels, anywhere.

“Probably in the linens closet,” Lee sighed, content to just fall asleep here, resting up against Nigel.

“I don’t even know where the fuck that is,” Nigel sighed, untroubled by it. He could feel Lee sinking against him, ready to nap in the heat of the tub.

“Don’t worry about it, my bear,” Lee said quietly, running his hands over Nigel’s hairy thighs, over his knees, head lolled back against his husband’s shoulder.

“Have a sleep, little bird,” Nigel whispered against Lee’s ear, happy to hold Lee while he napped in the warm water like this. It was good for his circulation.

An hour later, Nigel could hear a little reminder alarm going off in Lee’s jeans where his phone was stowed, and he kissed him awake. “Hey, gorgeous, time to get ready.”

Lee stirred, blinking, and smiled up at Nigel, moving his limbs with a little laugh. “We’re prunes,” he murmured, stretching the best he could and then stood slowly to get out.

“You slept like a fucking rock,” Nigel said and stretched before he pulled the plug on the tub to drain it, then climbed out, gracefully. Beauty ran into the room, wagging, excited they were up. She’d clearly been exploring the rest of the penthouse.

“Plane ride must have been more exhausting than I thought,” Lee said, going to one of the closets to look for towels, and found two of them, black, and handed one to Nigel.

Nigel took one, and dried himself off, quickly, before he pulled his clothes back on, and tossed Lee’s jeans to him. “Or the weekend of non-stop fucking,” he suggested with a chuckle.

"Could have been that, too,” Lee said, catching his pants. He pulled his underwear on first and then his jeans, that now hung much lower on his hips than last week. He slipped on his sock and shoes, and pulled on his thermal and sweater.

Nigel noticed, of course. He noticed every time he put his arms around Lee that there was a little less of him. “I’ll let Beauty out, and we can get going, she’s probably got to piss.”

“Okay,” Lee said, running hands through his short hair, which was getting longer and yet thinner. He put the towels out on the rack by the tub this time to dry.

Nigel took Beauty out to the garden, and encouraged her to go to the bathroom, but she was too busy sniffing at the beautiful, carefully arranged rocks, and ran over to the large, built in pond in which swam dozens of huge koi fish. “Hey, we have fish out here!” 

Lee wandered out after splashing some water on his face and brushing his teeth with his tooth brush from his bag. He looked around, wide eyed. “It’s beautiful out here…”

The gardens were lush, and carefully landscaped with wooden paths through zen gardens full of pebbles and carefully selected plants. Near the center was the sunken pond full of koi, and next to it, a large hammock made of polished teak planks that was the size of a double bed, and furnished with a couple of pillows. Beauty pawed at the water and barked, excited to see fish.

“Don’t let her get the fish,” Lee said, running over to see, and smiled. “I hope we have feed for them.”

“It’s around here somewhere,” Nigel shrugged, and petted Beauty’s head as she laid down and wagged as she stared at the fish, utterly fascinated. “What the fuck is this thing?” Nigel asked, kicking the wooden hammock, gently.

“A swing?” Lee flirted, touching Nigel’s back. “Oh, maybe a sex swing.” He knew it wasn’t but the idea wasn’t lost to him.

Nigel laughed at that, and moved it with his foot. It swung, gently. “We’ll try it out when we’re back,” he murmured, and kissed Lee’s jaw, arms around him.

“That’d be nice,” Lee chuckled,, hugging Nigel around his shoulders.

Beauty finally walked away from the fish and found a little spot to pee. “Should we get going? Can’t be fucking late for Bertha,” Nigel murmured.

Lee rolled his eyes and walked back inside. He left his bag though, he wouldn’t need it with Nigel. “Yeah, we should go get checked in and be sure that we aren’t seated next to you-know-who.”

“If we’re sitting next to her, I’ll fucking blow you while you get treatment,” Nigel laughed, and let Beauty in, then snapped on her collar and headed toward the elevator.

“Promise?” Lee asked, a smirk on his face. He’d been the one doing most of the blowing, but he honestly didn’t mind, as Lee loved every part of Nigel and would do it all one hundred times over.

Nigel laughed, and opened the elevator door by laying his finger against a sensor. After a quick verification, the doors opened. “Twice. I’ll fucking blow you twice.”

“You weren’t kidding about finger prints…” Lee said, watching it scan Nigel’s, and then slipped into the elevator. “Does it have mine? Or do we … program it?”

“We can program it when we’re back,” Nigel assured Lee, and wrapped an arm around him. “It’s not hard, don’t worry, just takes a second. If you ever hear an alarm, that means someone tried to get in and their fingerprint is rejected. Let the guards take care of that, and just stay upstairs,” Nigel said, softly.

“We have guards all the time now?” Lee asked, canting his head at Nigel as the doors closed again.

“Downstairs, yes,” Nigel nodded, with a little, reassuring smile. The doors opened and Nigel stepped out with Beauty and Lee, nodding at the two guards who nodded back as he opened the passenger door to let Beauty and Lee into the car.

Lee walked past, trying not to stare, and then got into the car. Once Nigel was in he looked at him. “It’s weird.”

“Don’t worry, they’re well paid. It’s a nice job for them,” Nigel assured his husband as he started the car, and backed up, then drove out of the private parkade, and onto the street.

“I’m sure they are,” Lee said with a raised brow and reached for Nigel’s hand, his fingers cool once again against Nigel’s hot ones.

“And they’re just for the parkade, they won’t be upstairs with us in our fucking place,” Nigel laughed, and laced their fingers together.

“I mean, if they were needed, okay, but good,” Lee said with a little smile. It would take some getting used to, as he was used to taking care of himself.

“Yeah, if there were some emergency, of fucking course, but I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Nigel murmured, and raised Lee’s thin hand to kiss his knuckles.

“I’ll just beat down who ever tries to get in with my charm,” Lee grinned, wiggling his fingers under Nigel’s lips.

Nigel laughed and made a turn, toward the hospital. “You’ve fucking got enough of it…”

“It knocked you down a few pegs,” Lee mused, gripping his fingers with against Nigel’s once.

Nigel gave Lee at look, and squeezed Lee’s hand. “Did it? You’re fucking sure about that?” He turned into the hospital parking lot, and used the pass they kept in the car from last time to get in.

“Would you have come back if I didn’t bother to give you my number? Or openly flirt with you?” Lee asked, head canted as they parkade let them in, and they found a nice spot near the front reserved for cancer patients and the like.

“Yeah,” Nigel said, confidently, and parked, then shut off the car. “You’re fucking cute.”

“Cute?” Lee wrinkled up his nose and slipped out of the car, a bit less exhausted feeling and looking as he did. Beauty jumped out after him and wagged.

Nigel petted Beauty’s head, and took Lee’s hand as they walked in. “Yeah, cute as hell. I made up my mind when I saw you that I was going to bring her back.”

“Did you know I was gay?” Lee asked, always curious just how outwardly he presented to others. Some caught on, others didn’t. He squeezed Nigel’s hand as they walked toward the building, the doors opened by the security guard.

“Well, I caught you memorizing my ass, so … yeah,” Nigel smiled, and walked in with Lee, headed to Bertha to check in.

“I had to, just in case you never came back. I knew  I’d never find another one like it,” Lee crooned, and then let go of Nigel’s hand as he  approached Bertha’s desk, who handed him the sign in sheet. Lee signed his name to it and pulled a little bow from his jeans, humming, and stuck in the poodle’s hair.

Bertha seemed to catch sight of the ring long before Lee even thought to say something. For an old lady she was very open and all for those sorts of things.

“Someone finally tethered you down, hm?” she asked, giving Nigel a look that could have burned through walls. “He better be good to you.”

Lee grinned and leaned over the counter to show Bertha his ring. “He is. Probably better to me then I want him to be.”

Nigel rolled his eyes, but smiled. “God fucking forbid I make him wear a fucking sweater when he’s cold and don’t want him jogging when he feels shitty. The world is coming to a fucking end,” he said, dryly.

Bertha patted Lee’s hand. “Maybe I should be telling you to be nice to him.”

Lee laughed; “Maybe. I’m  _ so _ terrible,” he teased, and then stepped back and Bertha waved him on. Lee wound his arm around Nigel’s waist, stepping into his warmth.

“Awful, abuses me all the time,” Nigel smirked, and wrapped his arm around Lee to keep him close as they went into the treatment room, Beauty behind them, wagging proudly.

The woman from last time was there, but an open chair far from her was open, so Lee took that one and settled in, rolling open his sweater and shirt sleeve all at once for the tech to get started. “I’m that terrible to you?” he grinned.

As they passed, Nigel made sure to glare at her and flipped her off behind Lee’s back. He sat on a stool next to Lee and smirked at him as Beauty laid next to them for a belly rub, which Nigel gave her. “Just awful,” Nigel joked.

“Maybe I need to find some ‘How to be a better Husband’ classes to take,” Lee said with a wink, and the tech came over with all his bags and tubes and everything else he would need, and got to work.

Nigel just laughed harder, and rubbed Lee’s hand with his own, warming it up. “Just let me take care of you a little more, it’s not the worst thing in the fucking world that someone gives a shit about you. If I get shot and need help, you can fucking take care of me.”

“Deal,” Lee whispered, leaning toward Nigel to kiss him chastely. “So long as it nothing more than that. I’m not a doctor…”

“Nothing more than that,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee back, softly, then moved a little closer now that Beauty was starting to nap, and snored loudly, content. “Not that I’d try to fucking go for a jog after I’ve been shot…”

“No, you’d just fuck me,” Lee whispered between their mouths as the tech started up his treatment and left them alone there.

Nigel laughed, and nipped Lee’s lower lip. “That was a fucking  _ graze _ , it wasn’t even really being shot. Doesn’t count.”

“Oh, excuse me.” Lee’s eyes closed halfway, savoring each brush of lips they had. He'd fallen hard, attached at the hip with Nigel, and he wasn't even sorry for it.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve still got a bullet inside me, somewhere,” Nigel mused, and shrugged at the thought, then looked at Lee. “Hasn’t fucking killed me, yet.”

“Don't tell me that,” Lee sighed, not needing to worry about Nigel, even if it was the only thing he worried about these days.

“What? It’s not moving around,” Nigel said, and tapped his stomach where he was pretty sure the stray bullet lived. “Healed around it.”

“You should have that removed,” Lee said with wide eyes, touching Nigel’s stomach.

“Why? It’s not causing me problems,” Nigel said, with a shrug and a laugh. “Why get fucking cut into for nothing?”

Lee wouldn’t push, it wasn’t his place. “Okay.” It seemed Nigel could worry over him, but not Lee over Nigel. He looked over at the IV bag, his veins already feeling it. “Going to be bad today, I think.” He’d look on the bright side though, at least he wouldn't be throwing up alone.

“Yeah?” Nigel asked, softly, and rubbed Lee’s hand, as his face went serious. “S’okay, baby, we’re two fucking blocks away.”

Lee had been extra tired that weekend, they didn’t go out as much, and the drinking hadn’t helped, but he wasn’t going to let that get him down. “What’s a little barf, right?” he grinned over at Nigel.

“I got you more brownies,” Nigel whispered, with a kiss to the side of Lee’s face, and took his leather jacket off to drape over Lee.

Technically the brownies were against the Buddhist way, but Lee was at the point that he really needed anything to keep food down. “Thanks…” he said with a little shiver, and snuggled under Nigel’s jacket. The room was warm, despite Lee’s body temperature. 

Nigel flagged down a nurse and asked for some blankets, which she went to a cupboard to get. “Don’t worry about it, baby. You’ll puke a little bit, have a brownie, and then we’ll all nap together on that big fucking bed.”

“You’re going to grow so bored with me with how much I’ll end up napping,” Lee sighed, closing his eyes to rest, grasping Nigel’s hand, the only part not under blankets now.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I love sleeping,” Nigel laughed, and kept rubbing Lee’s hand, slowly, warming it with his own. “I fucking love it.”

“More than fucking me?” Lee asked, peeking one eye open at Nigel with a grin.

“No, I don’t love anything more than fucking you,” Nigel laughed, and kissed Lee’s cheek, then nuzzled him.

Lee hummed and reached his IV’d hand up to touch Nigel’s jaw where he nuzzled. “Good. That’d be a shame if you did.”

“Nothing in the fucking world is as good as fucking you,” Nigel said, and kissed Lee’s hand with a turn of his head. “Are you tired? Sleep.”

“I fell asleep last time on you,” Lee said, opening both eyes not to look at his husband. “I’m… not going to this time.”

“No?” Nigel asked, with a little smile, “fine, up to you, stay awake if you want,” Nigel said, and undid a button on his shirt. “There. Almost forgot.”

Lee sighed, content to just stare at Nigel the whole time. “Besides, we slept already.” He crawled his fingers from Nigel’s jaw down to his chest, toying with the hair there.

“Yeah, we did,” Nigel smirked, and stretched out his neck to let Lee’s fingers find every inch of warm, tanned skin that they wanted. “Entertaining enough for you?”

“For now,” Lee whispered, the warmth of all his covers now were making him sleepy all over again, not to mention the drugs coursing through him. “You can entertain me more when we get home.”

“How can I do that?” Nigel asked, slyly, well aware Lee was probably going to fall asleep anyway.

“You’ll find a way.” He swallowed, dryly. “You know, treatments don’t usually wear me out this much.” He gave Nigel a wink, pretty sure their time together and all their fucking was wearing him down first, and that was  _ fine _ with Lee. He’d rather be exhausted than restless.

“I’ll just walk around naked,” Nigel decided with a smirk, “and not let you touch me.”

Lee laughed, and then turned his head away to cough into his shoulder, wheezing. He cleared his throat and swallowed, looking back at Nigel. “That’s mean.”

“But you wouldn’t be bored,” Nigel teased, with a chuckle.

A man in a white coat approached Lee’s chair, and smiled at him. “Mr. Fallon, how are you feeling?”

Lee narrowed his eyes on Nigel playfully, and then lifted them to the man. “Tired.”

“That’s to be expected,” the doctor said, and looked at Nigel, who looked at him, skeptically. “I’m Dr. Jefferies, Lee’s oncologist,” he said, and extended his hand, which Nigel shook.

“This is Nigel, my  _ husband _ ,” Lee introduced with a warm, happy smile on his face.

“Oh, congratulations,” Dr. Jefferies said, with a smile, and looked at Lee again. “We have some results from your latest tests to go over, would you be comfortable doing it here, or should we bring the IV into my office?” he asked.

“I’m fine here,” Lee said, not afraid of what his tests might say about his health, or who knew. Nigel was his spouse now, it’s not like he’d hide it from him either.

“Okay,” the doctor said and pulled up a stool near Lee, and sat down, then opened the chart in his hands. “It looks as though the treatment is working very well for some participants, but I am not seeing the improvement I’d like in your lab results, or your MRI,” the doctor said gently, “I’d like to take you off of the regimen in the study and increase your treatments, in addition to supplementing what you have right now with another drug. The study treatment looks like it may have slowed the growth a little more from what it would be if you had not participated, but you still have more tumors now than you did at the beginning.”

“Increase treatments?” Lee blinked, he knew he wasn’t getting much better, but he didn’t know he was really getting  _ worse _ . “Which drug? Is it… I mean, will it likely help? Is it worth it?”

“It’s an experimental drug that might help melanoma, we’re hopeful. Without it, I do not think the treatments you are receiving right now are going to give you a significantly increased life expectancy,” the doctor said.

Nigel put his hand out. “Hold the fuck on, so this isn’t working, you’re just going to … hope something else does it? That’s what we’re fucking going on now? Guessing?”

“This is the best option we have for advanced Melanoma,” the doctor explained, patiently.

“There isn’t a lot they can do. It’s in my lungs, my lymphnodes,” Lee said, explaining to Nigel. “Right now we try treatments to get me to live as long as possible. There’s no cure.”

“But OTHER people are getting better! Why the fuck are they getting better, and not Lee?” Nigel demanded, angrily. The doctor swallowed, a little intimidated by the Romanian, but kept his cool.

“The other patients have different kinds of cancer. Lee has a special cancer called melanoma, stage four. It’s very difficult to treat. I’m sorry. Without any treatment, Lee, we are looking at six weeks, with treatment, eight, or nine.”

Lee squeezed Nigel’s hand, to calm him, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles. “With treatment, of course.” He would opt for not doing anything, but now that he had Nigel, he really had to think long term, and how much time they  _ didn’t _ have together.

“Okay,” the doctor said, and write Lee’s wishes in his chart. “I’m sorry I don’t have better news, we can start with a treatment every second day, so we’ll see you again the day after tomorrow. The new drug is very similar to the one you are on, with a few key differences-” 

Nigel was unable to listen. He clutched Lee’s hand in his own as he heard the doctor speak, but all he could think about was only eight more weeks. Two months. Lee would be dead in two months.

Lee listened for the both of them, nodding, but kept his hand tight in Nigel’s, squeezing it three times. “So every other day then? About?”

“Every other day exactly. We’ll draw more labs after a week, and see what we’re looking at as far as improvement, or lack thereof. I’m sorry, Lee. I was really hoping this study would do more for you.”

“It’s fine, thank you,” Lee said, trying not to sound so disappointed, but he should have known when he hardly got better after six months of treatment and no sign of improvement.

“I’ll see you next time, we’ll talk again,” the doctor promised, and touched Lee’s shoulder, consolingly, before he nodded at Nigel, and walked off to talk to Bertha. 

Nigel looked quietly devastated, his dark eyes unfocused as he squeezed Lee’s hand.

“Nigel,” Lee whispered, softly, knowing he had to be his husband’s anchor, rather than the other way around.

“There has to fucking be something,” Nigel said, in a tight whisper, looking down at Lee’s hand in his. “It’s a big fucking world, someone has to know what to do.”

“Don’t you think a lot more people wouldn’t be dead if that were the case?” Lee asked, taking a  deep breath. He had warned Nigel that he likely hadn’t a lot of days left, but the devastation etched into his face was worse than he thought it would be.

“People fucking die of all sorts of things, but this … someone has to know how to help, fucking somewhere…” Nigel said, desperately, his heart pounding in his chest.

It was breaking Lee’s heart to see Nigel worked up, to know he couldn’t help him right now, not when he was helpless like this. “Nigel, it’s okay. Calm down, taking a deep breath. We’ll look into it.”

Nigel looked away, and got up to pace, shaking as he forced himself to swallow the urge to slam his fist through the wall. “I’m fine.”

Lee felt as though he had duped his husband somehow in to believing he had more time than he did, and maybe if he were just very, very honest, Nigel wouldn’t have assumed he had more time than he had. “Nigel…”

Nigel hadn’t wanted to shoot up in years but … two months. He had two months with the only fucking person he loved, and that was it. He looked at Lee, and went back to him to cup his face with both hands, and kissed him on the lips.

Lee melted into the kiss, one hand on Nigel’s wrist, to keep him there. His lips were chapped and his fingers cold, and it would be a feeling that was more common soon than not. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I fucking love you, too,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee again, pulling himself together. “It’s gonna be okay, baby.”

“I’m not worried about me,” Lee said, very quietly, gazing up at Nigel.

“You don’t gotta worry about me,” Nigel whispered, through a tight throat.

Only Lee knew he would have to, because he could see Nigel falling apart already, and when Lee passed, he knew things were going to get very ugly. He’d need to prepare things for that, he just wasn’t sure yet. “Okay.”

“I’ll have my guy look around, look fucking everywhere, maybe …” Nigel took a deep breath, and set his jaw. He couldn’t fall apart in front of Lee, Lee was the one dying.

Beauty laid over their feet, and Lee wrapped his arms Nigel’s shoulders to bring him down to his level a little more. “Okay. Right now, just stay here please. We’ll be done soon.”

Nigel closed his eyes, and rested his chin over Lee’s shoulders as he held him tightly. His heart felt like it was twisting hard in his chest, going to break loose and plummet onto the floor. “I’m here, baby. Not going anywhere. Good thing we got married…”

Lee chuckled. “Why is that?”

“Don’t want to waste any time,” Nigel whispered, looking at Lee with reddened eyes.

“No time wasted,” Lee whispered back, pressing their foreheads together, the best he could like this.

“I love you,” Nigel whispered, against Lee’s lips. He managed to keep the tears at bay, but he was still trembling with repressed emotion.

Lee had too many layers on him, and a needle in his arm keeping him from hugging Nigel properly, to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. “I love you, too, my bear.”

“Sorry, baby,” he whispered, and kissed Lee’s forehead.

“Don’t be sorry.” Lee turned his head to kiss Nigel gently. “Sit down. Please.”

“Okay, okay,” Nigel whispered, and he sat beside Lee again, and held his hand.

The next hour passed, and Lee was taken off, and blankets were folded back and put away. He held on to Nigel as he pulled himself to his feet, weaker today, and sure he’d only be getting more so from here on out. He wrapped his arm around Nigel’s waist, fitting himself under his shoulder.

“Okay, are you okay to walk?”  Nigel asked, with a kiss against Lee’s ear.

“Yeah. Just let me lean on you a little,” Lee answered with a nuzzled up against Nigel’s face as he did that.

“All you want,” Nigel murmured, and kept his arm around Lee’s waist as they walked to the car. “I put a brownie in the fucking glove box for you,” Nigel whispered into Lee’s ear as they neared the car.

“My hero,” Lee sighed, squeezing get Nigel gently around the the middle. Once at the car, he  let Nigel help him in, and then buckled himself up, Beauty crawling in behind him. Lee leaned over into the glove compartment to grab the brownie, a little warm from sitting out there, and opened it up and took two bites and wrapped it back.

Nigel got in, and backed out of the parking spot, then headed back home with Lee. He drove slowly and smoothly, not eager to set off Lee’s stomach. Thank fucking god he’d bought the place closest to the hospital. In just a couple of minutes, they were back in the garage, and Nigel helped Lee out of the car after Beauty jumped out the driver’s side. “Come on, baby.”

Lee knew that Nigel helping him was going to be the only way the Romanian coped with the news for now, so Lee let him. He got out and wrapped his arm around Nigel's waist, squeezing him gently as they made their way to the elevator.

They passed the security guards, who nodded at them, and Nigel opened the elevator with his fingerprint. They stepped in, and the elevator rose, smoothly, as Nigel held Lee against his chest, and rubbed his back with one big hand, speechless.

Lee could almost feel the despair rolling off of Nigel, and hugged him tightly. He'd let himself become selfish in finally finding someone he felt he could share his life with, that he'd utterly forgotten just how sick he was. Lee swallowed and kissed Nigel's throat. The elevator opened again and Beauty rushed out.

Nigel kissed Lee’s forehead, softly, and walked into the penthouse with him. “Come on, let’s try out that bed,” Nigel murmured as he walked with Lee toward their bedroom where the comfortable bed on it’s platform was waiting for them, perfectly made.

Toeing his shoes off at the door, Lee let Nigel guide him through their new home. The sweater came off first and then the jeans and long sleeve shirt, leaving just his undershirt, before Lee crawled into bed slowly, under the covers.

Nigel followed him after kicking his boots off, and pulled Lee close, just breathing with him, nose buried against Lee’s short hair. “I knew … it would happen someday but having the doctor say that was … different.”

“I didn’t want it to be difficult to let go when it was time to,” Lee sighed, resting his head against Nigel’s collarbone. “I especially never wanted it to be hard on anyone else.”

“I fucking knew it was coming,” Nigel whispered, as he stroked one hand over the back of Lee’s neck, gently.

“I’m sorry, Nigel,” Lee said, curling himself around his husband, arm across his chest, snuggled under warm covers.

“Don’t be fucking sorry, not your fault,” Nigel whispered, his heart still twisting painfully in his chest. Everything felt heavy, doomed, now. But, he’d been warned. This wasn’t forever.

“We’ll make the best of these eight weeks,” Lee whispered back, curling his fingers against Nigel’s chest.

“Yeah,” Nigel said, with a hard swallow, and curled his fingers in the back of Lee’s shirt, “yeah, we will. Just wanna spend time with you, alright?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lee said, aware he had to get affairs in order at the bar now, he could easily get his Will changed for Nigel to take over, or just leave it and have it go to probate anyway, in which case Nigel would get it since Martin was dead.

Nigel wanted to argue that Lee was going somewhere, and that was the fucking problem, but he closed his eyes and kissed Lee’s forehead again, softly. “I’ll have someone look for other options…”

Lee knew it was likely fruitless, but if it gave Nigel something to do, he wouldn’t stop him. “Okay, my bear,” he whispered, his body feeling heavier as he eyes closed, drifting.

Nigel’s throat closed at the sound of his nickname, and he felt a sharp pain in his chest that could only be explained by his heart tearing loose. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly as he held Lee. “Sleep, baby. I’ll be here.”

“Mm,” Lee hummed, “love you.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) All the usual.  
> 2) For upcoming chapters, we did change up Lee's background a bit, but it's for a good reason. Trust us.

Lee attempted running on the off days, and the weekends. The first week wasn’t too bad, the second week he wasn’t out as long, his lungs felt like they might give out. Lee gave up running all together the day his lungs started to burn so badly he couldn’t breathe, and he went into a coughing fit that left drips of blood on the sidewalk where he stood, hunched over, hands on his knees. Beauty stood beside him, whimpering, waiting for Nigel to catch up, as he never ran with Lee, he usually walked with Beauty, but Lee never ran so far ahead that Nigel couldn’t see him.

They were both stubborn as mules.

Nigel watched Lee bend over, and cough.  _ That _ made him run. Lee’s back was heaving hard and it looked like he couldn’t breathe.

“Lee?” Nigel asked, hand on Lee’s back. he swore when he saw the blood on the pavement.

Lee’s whole body was quivering with exhaustion and trying to keep stable, trying not to collapse. “I’m-” he swallowed gasping. “I’m fine.” He coughed harder and more blood splattered against the sidewalk.

“You are not fucking fine,” Nigel said as he supported Lee with one hand and dialed for an ambulance with the other hand. “You’re coughing up blood!”

“It’s…” Lee started to speak, but it was harder to breathe by the second, and wiped his mouth with his hands. “It’s in my lungs…. It’s.. it’s normal…” At this stage he half expected it.

911 picked up, and Nigel barked out their location, then told the operator, “my husband has cancer, he’s coughing blood, he can’t breathe- I AM FUCKING CALM!”

Lee wasn’t in any condition to argue, he dropped to his knees, heaving deep breaths as Nigel growled like the bear Lee knew he was into the phone. He didn’t want to spend the last weeks of his in a hospital room, though.

An ambulance siren wailed in the distance, coming closer as Nigel helped Lee sit on a bench. “Breathe slow, baby…”

Lee was easily moved, hardly weighing anything at now. He leaned over on the bench, between his legs as he coughed again, clutching his chest. “Fuck… Nigel…” he gasped, a strangled sound, clearly in pain.

Nigel looked agonized, and held Lee against him as the ambulance pulled up. Two EMTs jumped out, and brought an oxygen tank to Lee, helping him put it on as a third unloaded a stretcher and asked Nigel questions.

“His name is Lee, melanoma, just started a minute ago, all that blood is his, no he doesn’t have any other problems, I think this is fucking big enough as far as a fucking problem goes-” Nigel answered as he climbed in the back of the ambulance and beckoned for Beauty to come while the EMTs opened Lee’s shirt and put stickers with wires on his chest to watch his heart activity on the screen. the third EMT put the sirens on and hurried them to the hospital while Nigel held Lee’s hand.

Lee’s breathing started to even out as they got to the hospital, which wasn’t far, the oxygen had helped, but he felt beat down, and exhausted. He curled his fingers around Nigel’s, entwining them together.

Nigel looked tense, eyes dark, his jaw locked as he stared at Lee. “How are you feeling now, Lee?” one of the EMTs asked as he wrote something on a chart and watched Lee’s breathing.

Lee held up his shaking thumb and finger to indicate a little better, still hard to breathe, but it wasn’t gasping for it now. He squeezed Nigel’s hand with his own again, three times.

Nigel rubbed Lee’s bloodied hand with his own, and ran his palm over Lee’s cropped hair as the EMT sat Lee up, by elevating the back of the stretcher. “Good, your heart looks okay, just keep taking some deep breaths we’re almost at the hospital.”

It was his lungs, he knew that much, nothing to do with his heart, at least not yet. Lee nodded and turned his gaze back to Nigel, concerned. “Hey…” he whispered very quietly, unable to get much else out.

“Hey, baby, scared the shit out of us,” Nigel said. Beauty was hiding under the stretcher.

Lee was a little pale, but holding a bit more color. “Sorry.” He smiled up at Nigel.

“Is he… is he going to be okay?” Nigel asked the EMT, shaken, but hiding it.

“The doctors will check him out, his breathing has improved. What were you doing when you started coughing?” The EMT asked.

“Runnin',” Lee said, quirking his head down at his track pants and jogging shoes.

“Running with cancer is pretty amazing,” the EMT said, admiringly, and Nigel glared at him.

“My  _ husband _ and I like to take the dog for runs,” Nigel growled, jealously.

Lee chuckled, which only made him start coughing hard again, gasping. He squeezed Nigel’s hand, settling once more. “We do.”

The EMT looked a little unsettled, and busied himself with an I.V. as Nigel sighed at his husband, and kissed his blood-spattered cheek. “I think maybe we’ll just walk for now, huh?”

“Yeah,” Lee agreed as they pulled into the emergency parking lot.

The ambulance stopped after the EMT secured the I.V. in Lee’s arm, and they lifted Lee down, then pushed him into the ER. Nigel followed, closely, with Beauty, and took the forms from the first nurse they saw, scribbling down that it would be paid privately, and it would not be a problem. Lee was brought into a very clean, private isolation room, and his I.V. was hung from a hook in the ceiling.

Once settled, Lee looked at Nigel and took the breathing mask off. “I don’t want to stay here long…”

“I know, but you were coughing up blood, gorgeous,” Nigel sighed, heavily. “You’d fucking make me get looked at.”

“I don’t…” Lee breathed in deeply, and then out, shallow breaths, “I don’t want to die here.” His lungs still feel on fire, and his stomach muscles couldn’t seem to unclench from the coughing attack. Lee felt weaker than he had in a long time, and all he wanted to do was go home and just sleep, and sleep…

“You’re not going to die here, baby,” Nigel promised, solidly, as he stared intensely into Lee’s eyes, and held his hand. “Your doctor’s gonna look you over, we’ll see if we can stop the bleeding, and we’ll fucking go home, okay? I promise.”

Lee nodded slowly, putting the breathing mask on to take easier breaths, and gently, weakly, pulled Nigel's hand so he sat down next to him in the bed. They were supposed to have six more weeks together, and Lee didn't want to cheat Nigel out of them.

Nigel crawled into the tiny bed, managing to stuff his frame next to Lee, and held him as the door opened and Lee’s oncologist walked in. “Hi, Lee. They paged me when you were brought in,” he said sympathetically, and held Lee’s chart in his hands, looking it over. “You look pretty tired, how are you feeling?”

“Exhausted,” Lee said, moving to rest his head on Nigel's shoulder while he put the mask back on to breathe easier. “Felt fine before… the run.”

“And then, you started to cough up blood,” the doctor nodded with a sigh, and listened to Lee’s chest with his stethoscope. “Are you still coughing, or has it stopped now?”

“Little bit,” Lee said, remains of blood splatter on his cheek and face, some on his hand.

“How much blood would you guess you coughed up?” the doctor asked and Nigel sighed. “A fucking lot, more than a cup, a couple of cups of blood, I guess?” Nigel replied, restless and impatient to know how to fix this.   
  
“I’m sorry to say this is a pretty normal part of end stage lung cancer, I would advise that you rest, and don’t try to go on anymore runs,” the doctor said, as sympathetically as possible.   
  
Nigel narrowed his eyes. “That’s fucking it? You’re not even going to try to stop it, or fucking fix it? Just fucking give up on him!?” Nigel asked, stepping closer to the doctor.   
  
“As I said,” the doctor repeated nervously, “this is a normal part of end stage-”   
  
Nigel slammed his fist on a counter nearby, “THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH.”

“Nigel…” Lee tried to soothe, reaching his hand for him, aware that this was likely his last days. “Nigel please,” he gasped this time, through the mask. “Let's go home.”

Nigel looked like he was considering putting the doctor in the same state as Lee, but stepped back to take Lee’s hand, instead, fuming. 

“I’ll have the nurse bring in some painkillers, and we’ll see you tomorrow, Lee. I’m sorry I can’t do more, I really am,” he apologized.

“It's fine.” Lee started to take off his mask, unstick the pads on his chest. “You do what you can.”

“We can arrange for a portable oxygen tank at home if that would help you…” the doctor offered. He obviously felt the weight of Nigel’s outrage, at the concept of giving up.

“Might be good,” Lee sighed, moving his still sneakered shoes off the bed.

The doctor nodded, and let himself out as Nigel helped Lee sit up, slowly, his eyes red around the edges, heart still making a pulse throb in the side of his neck. “Are you in pain?” he asked, in a rough voice, like his throat was squeezing.

“Chest hurts,” Lee said, honestly, tugging the IV out of his arm.  He was dying sooner than he wanted, as he wanted more time with Nigel and Beauty, and knew it was too late now to turn back and unburden himself of the attachments he’d always wanted but never found.

“We’ll get you home, give you pills, whatever you need, okay?” Nigel whispered, and put his jacket over Lee’s upper body, then zipped it up to his chin, and kissed his bloody lips as his heart burned and sank in his chest, like a capsized ship.

“We’ll have to walk,” Lee said, steady on his feet at least, taking slow steps with Nigel. “I’ll be okay though.”

“We’ll get a ride, baby, don’t worry,” Nigel said and shot off a text on his phone. “I’ve got someone coming,” he assured Lee, and got him to sit down again, resting. He never should have let Lee go running today. 

“My husband, the man with connections,” Lee mused quietly, sliding his arms around Nigel’s middle where he sat, and rested his head up against his chest, Beauty at their feet.

Nigel swallowed hard as he held Lee, and rested his head over Lee’s head as he fought to keep his raging emotions in check for now. It was happening too fucking fast. Lee was going downhill and it was all Nigel could do not to lose his mind. “Anything for you, gorgeous…”

Lee tilted his head up to look at Nigel, his features were more gaunt than usual, even when he smiled at his husband. “I  love you. Have I told you that today?”

“Yeah,” Nigel whispered, and touched Lee’s thin cheek, then kissed his lips as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. There was a knock at the door, and two men in suits walked in with a wheelchair and a blanket after Nigel said a Romanian word. 

Nigel helped Lee into the chair, and covered him with the blanket, then patted his leg for Beauty, and took her leash. The men nodded respectfully at Lee, and held the door open as Nigel pushed Lee out of the room, into the corridor. 

Lee kept quiet as he was pushed, watching the men from the corner of his eyes. People stared as they strolled past them, and though Lee never cared what people thought, it did make him finally realize just the sort of power Nigel had.

The men held every door for them, and did not speak at all as Nigel pushed his husband out to a waiting black car, where one of the men held the door open for them, and they stood near, but did not dare to offer help. “In you go, gorgeous. Go on, Beauty, in the car, good girl,” he murmured as he got his family into the car that looked fit for a head of state. One of the men closed the door and they got in the front, then Nigel spoke a little more Romanian, and with a nod, they headed back to the penthouse.

It wasn’t a long drive, but Lee closed his eyes anyway, just to rest them, hands in Beauty’s fur, petting her with long strokes. Lee, usually the type to crack some sort of comment here in the silence with what looked to be what could have been agents of the government but clearly were not, was quiet.

“Baby,” Nigel whispered, once the car had stilled. He had one hand on Lee’s chest, as though afraid Lee might stop breathing in his sleep, and his dark eyes were tense.

“Hm?” Lee asked, opening his eyes and seeing they were parked in the garage of their building. He touched Nigel’s hand and brought it to his lips to kiss and then got out, slowly, Beauty never leaving his side.

Nigel stayed with Lee, arm around him, and kept the blanket wrapped around his husband like a cape as they made their way to the elevator where two guards waited. The two other men in suits followed, and Nigel seemed to give them all instructions in rapid, blunt Romanian before he got into the elevator with Lee. The men nodded, and replied a single word of agreement, and all pulled out their phones as the doors closed. 

“What did you tell them?” Lee asked as he leaned into Nigel.

Nigel looked at Lee through his messy, ashy hair, which he tossed back with a shake of his head. “I told them to help the doctor I hired look for options. Anywhere, in any fucking country, any option. Make calls, put my expert through to them if they say yes, drop  _ everything else _ .”

“Nigel…” Lee whispered, smiling up at him, aware he was frantic for answers, for anything to give them more time. Lee sighed, wheezing, and turned his head to cough, not nearly as hard as earlier. 

Nigel rubbed Lee’s back as he coughed, and helped him out of the elevator when it opened, heading toward the bedroom after he let Beauty off her leash. “Maybe there’s something out there, Asia, Europe, the world is a bigger fucking place than the goddamned states.”

Lee shuffled into the bedroom, and flopped down on the bed. He toed off his shoes and curled up right there under the blanket draped over him. “Maybe, but would there be time? Probably not.”

“Who fucking knows, baby?” Nigel asked with tears in his eyes as he laid next to Lee, heart pounding again.

Lee turned and looked at Nigel,  and then rolled to curled up to him, facing him. “No matter what happens… I’ll be here with you, even when I’m not.”

Nigel clenched his jaw, and had to close his eyes for a moment, and a wet line streaked down his temple, into the pillow. “Lee…”

Lee wrapped all his limbs around Nigel, holding him, soothing his shaking hands down his spine and head. “I know. You don’t want to hear it, you don’t want to believe it,” Lee whispered, and kissed Nigel’s forehead, cupping his face. “We have to face reality. It hit me hard today. I was living in a dream that maybe I’d be okay…”

“I … “ Nigel tried to speak, and shook his head, clinging to Lee so hard that his arms shook from the strain. A hard lump formed in his chest, and moved up to his throat as he realized Lee was right. Death was … death. It was coming for Lee, and Nigel was powerless to stop it.

“Just stay with me, please,” Lee said quietly, holding Nigel tighter, snuggling into him. “I just need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Nigel whispered through tears. Lee was leaving him. Lee was leaving him … He held on tighter, and buried his nose in Lee’s short hair. It wasn’t fucking fair… Nigel wanted every morning, every single fucking one with Lee eating bacon and eggs across from him, and Lee running around the park, and Lee telling Nigel he worried too much. Nigel wanted a life with Lee more than he wanted anything in the world, desperately, he needed it to fucking breathe … and it was the one thing being taken away.

Hushing Nigel for his tears, Lee stroked his hands down Nigel’s back, holding his husband to his own chest. “We will spend every last day together.”

Nigel didn’t cry over  _ anything _ . The last time he cried, he found his mother dead on the floor with a needle in her arm, feet pointed, like a ballerina. Now Lee… He clenched his jaw until it trembled and ached, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

A heavy, rattling sigh left Lee's chest and he held as tightly as he could to Nigel. “I love you,” he whispered, dry lips against Nigel's ear.

He wanted to beg Lee not to leave him, not to go … but he knew every moment that he let himself fall apart like this was probably heaping guilt on Lee … like dirt on the lid of a coffin. He tried to whisper back that he loved Lee, and it came out as a broken, cracked sound. He just clung to Lee, harder.

Lee knew, he didn't need the words. He held Nigel until he dozed off, passed out with every limb around Nigel, wrapped around each other. Lee looked paler since that morning, before the run.

Nigel didn’t let himself sob, but tears didn’t stop, raining quietly down Nigel’s salt-reddened face as he held Lee, and counted the breaths. He could not let him go. He couldn’t. For hours he kept Lee in his arms, and tried hard not to imagine the blistering agony of the feeling of Lee’s body when it stopped breathing. 

His phone vibrated, twice, and Nigel made himself look. He read the message twice, quickly, then made a whispered call as he held Lee with one hand to his chest while Lee slept on. “Really? You … accept end stage patients? I’ve been told you can do incredible- yeah, yeah, I understand, but with melanoma ... “ Nigel listened for a long moment, and looked at Lee against his chest.   
  
“We can be there, in twelve hours. Is that … Lee Fallon. I’ll have my assistant give you everything. Thank you,” Nigel whispered, grateful for even a sliver of hope on the other end of a line connected to a treatment facility half-way around the world. It was a chance. It was Lee’s last chance.   
  
He listened to the goodbye, and best wishes, and hung up, then set his phone aside and took a deep breath. “Lee? Baby?”

Lee moved against Nigel's chest, long, dark lashes fluttering. “Hm?” He palmed Nigel's chest as he woke, groggy, and his chest aching.

“Baby, I just got off the phone with some doctors in Germany. They’re doing something over there with stem cells and lasers, and it’s saving people with your cancer,” Nigel whispered as he rubbed Lee’s back.

"Lasers?” Lee asked, blinking himself awake. “Nigel it's a chance… there's no saying they will save me…”  Lee had made his peace with dying, even if he wanted more life, he didn't want it away from Nigel.

“But they could do it,” Nigel said, as he looked at Lee’s eyes, desperately, his own still bloodshot. “My doctor I hired to look at this stuff says it’s fucking legit, it’s experimental, but this is saving people like you,” he said, and helped Lee sit up. “But we have to go, baby, okay? We have to go now, we can get there, I talked to them on the fucking phone, they’re going to wait  _ one _ day for you to get there.”

Lee watched Nigel’s frantic eyes have a glimmer of hope, and he knew his chance at some peaceful rest before dying wasn’t going to happen here at home. When he took on attachments, this was something he took on, too. “Let me change…”

Nigel’s eyes went bright with relief, and he cupped Lee’s face, and kissed him on the lips, slowly, then his forehead, and pulled out his phone, barking orders into it in Romanian as he ran around to get Lee his grandpa sweater, a loose shirt, and some sweat pants, then brought them to him after he hung up. “The plane will be ready at the airport.”

Nodding, lee stripped off his running clothes, and slowly put on the new ones, which clashed, but at this point he wasn’t going to complain. He put on his sneakers again, and palmed his ipod from his other pants and his phone  with his chargers. “Do I need my medical records?”

“Where are they?” Nigel asked as he grabbed a bag and gave it to Lee to put whatever he needed in it, then started to stuff more of Lee’s clothing into it, none of his own before he went running for Lee’s toothbrush and then one bottle of wine from the kitchen. He was packing haphazardly, panicked, and thinking only of what Lee would need.

“The hospital, my doctor has them. He can fax copies over, I’ll send him an email on the way,” Lee suggested, watching Nigel pack  _ wine _ . “I think clothes are okay.” He went and hugged Nigel to stop him. “This is all.”

“Okay, okay, just want to be fucking prepared,” Nigel said, and kissed Lee again, then hugged him tightly, rubbing his back. “I fucking love you,” he whispered, “more than any fucking thing in the world.”

“I know,” Lee whispered, and kissed Nigel soundly. “Let's get going.” The sooner the plane, the more he could rest before getting there to go through who knew what.

Nigel nodded, and kissed both of Lee’s cheeks, then his lips again, and whistled for Beauty, then put her leash on her, which made her wag. “Okay, we’ll go now.” They headed for the elevator, and the doors opened at a touch.

Lee leaned in against Nigel when they got in, still exhausted. Once the elevator landed on the ground floor, they got out and went to the car. “You said Germany right?” he wanted to be sure to give his doctor the right information when requesting for his file to be sent.

“Yeah,” Nigel said as he passed his phone to Lee, unlocking it for him. “All the info’s right there, baby,” he murmured, and kissed his husband’s short hair. Nigel felt like his heart might never slow down.

Lee got into the car and then started to email his doctor from his phone with the information from Nigel’s, with a look over at his husband, smiling. Nigel, he knew, was a private person, but he loved Lee so much he trusted him with everything he might have kept on his phone. He hit send. “Thank you.” He handed the phone back without looking at anything else.

Nigel helped Beauty in, and shut the door, then put Lee’s bag in the trunk, and got in the driver’s side before he took his phone back with a kiss. “Yeah, of fucking course. They got wine in Germany, right?” Nigel asked, as he backed out. He was well aware that this might kill Lee, but it might save him, too. It might save him.

“Of course they do,” Lee chuckled, lightly, a smiling lighting up his face and eyes all at once, the only thing that really made him look alive right now.

Nigel caught the look, and treasured it as he drove out of the parking garage, onto the street, and hurried toward the airport, the powerful engine of his car roaring as he cut through traffic, and shifted. “Never fucking been there.”

“No? Me neither. Hopefully we get a chance to at least go taste their wines,” Lee suggested, hopeful, if even for Nigel’s sake, to calm the stress he could see bulging from the veins in his neck.

“We fucking will, don’t worry,” Nigel managed a little smile for the first time since Lee got sick this morning, and reached over to squeeze Lee’s hand, holding it as he sped down the nearly empty freeway toward the airport. “What kind of wine do the fucking Germans drink?”

“The same as anyone, I would imagine. Depends on what grapes grow in Germany. They have a few good white varietals.” Lee squeezed Nigel’s hand back, and entwined their fingers together. He leaned to rest his head on Nigel’s shoulder.

Nigel smiled a little at that, and took the airport exit. They were almost there. The plane would just fucking have to be ready. “You’ll get to try all of them, baby. We’ll get a fucking … wine farm there,” he promised, and turned into the airport, going into the private hangar area.

Lee laughed heartily at that. “Wine farm?” He kissed Nigel’s cheek. “I wouldn’t know what to do with a winery.”

“We’d fucking learn, grow some wine,” Nigel smiled over at Lee as he came to the security booth. The booth was conveniently empty, and the bar across the drive was raised, it seemed Nigel expected that, as he drove through it without comment.

“Sounds like I have my work cut out for me,” Lee whispered, never questioning Nigel, as he knew better now than to delve into the things he really didn’t need answers for. Nigel was a man of means and power, and Lee need only know so much.

Nigel drove directly into his plane’s hangar, and parked. The plane was running, and one man was just setting the stairs into it against the side. Nigel’s mysterious assistant was waiting, and gave Lee a little smile and a nod before Nigel put the car in park, and kissed Lee’s cheek before he got out. “Okay, baby, here we are. I’ll get the bag.”   
  
Nigel got out, and went around to get the bag from the trunk while Beauty licked Lee’s ear, excited to be in the plane again, which she enjoyed last time. Nigel and his assistant talked for a moment before Nigel handed him the keys to his car, and carried Lee’s bag to passenger door to help Lee out if he needed it.

Lee got out, slowly, and used Nigel’s shoulder to pull himself out of the car. He was slowly starting to feel more and more sluggish, aches where he never had them before. “Gonna be a long flight.”

“We can put the couch down, and sleep,” Nigel said as they made their way up the stairs. He let Beauty run up first, then helped Lee, slowly, with an arm under Lee’s arms. Finally, they were in the plane, which had been appointed for a long flight with a stocked kitchen, and bedding ready for the fold down leather couch after takeoff.”

“Sleep sounds good,” Lee said, and slipped down onto the the couch for now, they’d wait until take off and then put the bed out. His phone chimed and Lee pulled it out. “Okay, the hospital is going to fax my records over…”

"Good, good,” the door closed behind them, and sealed, and Nigel patted for Beauty to sit with them on the couch as the plane started to taxi.

A woman in scrubs came out of another room at the back with a smile, and introduced herself. “I’m Brigit, your flight nurse. If you need anything, I’ll be back there,” she said, and looked at Lee. “We can put you on oxygen once we’re in the air, if you’d like, and I have painkillers if you need them.”

“Oh, yeah, we have a nurse,” Nigel laughed, having forgotten all about that in the rush.

Lee gave Nigel a look, one brow raised. “You think of everything,” he grinned, and nodded toward Brigit. “Thank you, that might be wise given the length of the trip.” Lee wasn’t so sure how well he’d handle the altitude otherwise.

“No problem, I’ll be right back after takeoff,” she assured him, and took her seat as the plane began to pick up speed, then launched itself into the air. 

“My assistant arranged that,” Nigel confessed, and leaned over to whisper in Lee’s ear. “I just told him our nurse couldn’t be a hot guy.”

“Worried?” Lee asked, teasingly, and leaned up against Nigel’s shoulder. “Then again, should I be worried about you and a hot female nurse?” Lee chuckled.

Nigel laughed at that, and rolled his eyes, “of fucking course not.”

Lee moved himself under Nigel’s arm and wrapped his own around his middle, patting his belly. “Good. Not that I was worried. I think you’re too into me to notice anyone else.”

Nigel looked down at Lee patting his belly, and made a face. “Now you like my fucking stomach, huh?” The nurse came out again, with an oxygen tank, an ipad, and some medication, and opened the fridge to take out a bottle of water with which to give Lee’s medication.

“I like everything about you,” Lee whispered, aware that Nigel stress ate, and rubbed his belly.

“I don’t have a fucking stomach…” Nigel protested, and looked down at his stomach as Lee petted it. The nurse chuckled, and handed Lee the pills and water, then readied the tank.

“Thanks,” Lee said, taking the water and pills, he drank them down and held on to the bottle of water.

“Those are quite strong, so be prepared to feel a little spacey, but it should help with your pain,” the nurse said as she helped Lee put on the oxygen mask, and turned the tank on so that pure oxygen rushed toward his mouth and nose as Nigel watched.

Lee nodded slowly in thanks and positioned himself to lean his shoulder under Nigel’s, his head resting there. He placed his hand on Nigel’s thigh and rubbed gently, breathing deeply into the fresh oxygen, easy to breathe like this.

“That better?” Nigel asked, softly, and ran his hand over Lee’s short hair as he rested against him, looking better already. The nurse moved, and Beauty jumped up next to Lee. “Maybe we should fold this down for the bed, you can settle in,” Nigel murmured.

Lee scooted up and then stood, leaning on the side of the couch instead as Beauty jumped back off and Nigel pulled the bed out. Once it was settled and made, Lee  propped a pillow against up against the side corner and laid down, kicking his shoes off at the end of the bed.

The nurse went back to her room to give them some privacy, and Nigel laid next to Lee as they flew over the ocean, one arm curled around him. “You hungry?”

“Not really,” Lee said honestly, opening his arms for Nigel to come lay against him this time.

Nigel moved closer, and laid against Lee, very carefully and lightly, then chuckled as Beauty jumped up to lay beside Lee’s legs, which was her favorite spot. “If you are, we’ve got some food, alright? No need to fucking starve, and it’s not that fucking disgusting airplane food either.”

Flying and his worsened condition wasn’t settling too well with Lee’s stomach, so he opted to just lay there with Nigel and Beauty for now, hand working through Nigel’s hair as he breathed deeply through the oxygen mask. “I’ll have some crackers or something later.”

“How’s your breathing, baby?” Nigel asked, tired, but not about to fall asleep on Lee like this.

“Better,” Lee whispered, closing his own eyes, not at all bothered by Nigel sleeping up against him like this.

The truth was, Nigel was terrified that he would close his eyes, and when he opened them, Lee would be dead. “The oxygen helps, huh? Painkillers are fucking working?” he asked, sleepily.

“Feeling spacey,” Lee sighed, his breathing was evening out, easier now than it had been without the oxygen. “I don’t feel like I’ve been run over anymore,” he chuckled.

Nigel heaved a heavy sigh of relief, and pressed his lips to Lee’s cheek, just above the little mask. “Not in pain?”

“Not that I can feel,” Lee answered, peeking his eyes open to look at Nigel. “Promise.”

“Good. Fuck, should have fixed that first. I’m fucking sorry,” Nigel whispered, and stretched out so that his stomach peeked out of the bottom of his shirt. “I can be a fucking idiot.”

“You are not an idiot You don’t know how I feel unless I tell you,” Lee said, pointedly, and reached his fingers to tickle Nigel’s hairy belly.

Nigel yawned, and then laughed at the unexpected tickle, and smiled at Lee. “What the fuck?” he asked, still chuckling. Lee was probably pretty high at the moment.

Lee shook his head slowly and closed his eyes. “I really love the feel of every part of you.” He brushed his fingers up Nigel’s stomach to his chest with a hum.

“Even my stomach? Anything hairy, huh?” Nigel asked, a sparkle finally back in his eyes as he watched Lee, out of pain, obsessed with hair all over again.

“All of it,” Lee said, opening his eyes once more, crinkled at the edges as he smiled at Nigel. “I can’t believe you’re mine…”

“Why the fuck not? Of course I’m yours,” Nigel chuckled, and touched Lee’s face, his heart breaking at the sound of those words whispered through an oxygen mask.

Lee always assumed that if he had told people he was interested in to do more than just fuck once, they’d likely just leave. Nigel was understanding and amazing for going through this with him. “I just feel blessed.”

Nigel raised Lee’s hand and kissed it, then held it to his bare chest through the opening in his shirt. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you,” Lee said, swallowing down a lump in his throat, and closed his eyes again as he felt Nigel’s perfect, steady heartbeat under his cool palm. “I’m sorry I’m putting you through this.”

“You’re not putting me through anything, baby. We’re doing this together,” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s forehead.

Lee sighed, moving so that Nigel was on his back and Lee was laying against his chest, hand up his shirt and toying with his chest hair. “You’re right.”

Nigel pulled Lee to his chest and rubbed his thin back with one hand. “And when you get better, we’re going to fucking Italy, you can taste whatever the fuck you want.”

“Can I buy whatever I want?” Lee asked, shallowly, breathing slowly in and out, eyes closed as he listened to Nigel’s heart beat.

“Fuck, yes,” Nigel whispered, adoringly, and leaned up to kiss the top of Lee’s head.

“Good. I was going to anyway.” Lee sighed into the mask, contently. “You’re the best husband ever.”

Nigel beamed at that, and kissed Lee’s head again with a chuckle. “How many husbands have you had, exactly?”

“Just you,” Lee promised, pulling the mask off to kiss Nigel properly on the lips, softly.

Nigel kissed Lee again, softly, stealing the press of his lips like Lee had to dip his head underwater for a kiss, bereft of oxygen. “Mask on, baby.”

Lee nodded and put it back on, and then snuggled right into Nigel.

“Good boy, I’ll kiss you all you fucking want when you’re better. You’ll have chapped everything,” Nigel smirked.

Lee laughed, a little too hard, and started to cough a little, turning away from Nigel to do so, but luckily, no blood was coughed up this time.

Nigel leaned up, worried and looked for blood right away, then relaxed when Lee stopped. “No blood, baby, good.”

Lee had worked his lungs way too hard earlier that morning, he was sure that was the reason. He’d seen some blood a few days prior but it wasn’t a lot. Today was the worst of it. He turned back and wrapped all limbs around Nigel. “No blood.”

“Are you okay?” Nigel asked, and smoothed Lee’s hair down.

“Yeah. Tired. Just gonna sleep,” Lee whispered, all but sagging in against Nigel.

“Okay, have a sleep, I’ve got you, gorgeous.” Nigel kissed Lee’s ear, and Beauty leaned up, and licked the back of Lee’s neck.

After a few minutes, Lee was very still, quiet and unmoving, except for his chest that rose and fell as he slept almost like the dead against his husband. Nigel laid one hand over Lee’s back, and counted the breaths as they flew across the Atlantic, into dawn.


	11. Chapter 11

Lee slept for hours, and yet not even long enough. When he woke, they were off the plane already, and he opened his eyes he was looking up at lights, still with oxygen on, but they were no longer flying. Lee swallowed, looking dazed and confused.   
  
“Nigel?”

Nigel was asleep in a chair next to the bed Lee was in. At the sound of Lee’s voice, he snapped awake, and looked at Lee. “We’re here baby, all checked in.”

“Sorry,” Lee whispered, “Didn’t mean to wake you.” He blinked, looking around. “Treatment?”

“Yeah, baby. We just got you checked in, the doctor’s coming by to explain everything, it all looks good. How do you feel?”

“Thirsty,” Lee admitted quietly, licking his chapped, dry lips.

“Here,”  Nigel said, and handed Lee a bottle of water. Nigel was wearing white, v-necked scrubs, and Beauty looked fluffier than usual, freshly washed.

“You look like an angel,” Lee said, unaware he was on some heavy painkillers still, the words tumbled from his mouth as he removed his mask to take the water and drink it down.

Nigel laughed out loud at that. His skin was scrubbed until it looked pink under the tan, and his hair was shiny, loose and soft. “Everything’s gotta be real clean around you, baby, including me, and Beauty. We had a long shower, and I get to wear these fucking pajamas while I’m here with you.”

“How long will you you be in here with me?” Lee asked, taking another long sip, and finished the bottle of water, panting a little.

“The whole fucking time,” Nigel said, softly, and touched Lee’s hand. Even Nigel’s nails were scrubbed clean, no dirt on him anywhere. He had a bandaid on the inside of his left arm. “I’m going to fucking live in here with you. All the food will be brought to us, nothing to worry about.”

Lee nodded at the bandage on Nigel’s arm. “And that?” He licked his lips and set the bottle of water, empty, down.

Nigel got up, and got a bottle from a little fridge at the side of the room that was just as clean as everything else. “I let them take some fucking blood. Your immune system is going to go to shit before you get better, I have to make sure I won’t make you sick or anything, Beauty too. We got lots of fucking vaccines,” he chuckled.

Lee smiled and wiggled his toes at Beauty, only now realizing he’d been stripped and redressed as well, sterilized with the rest of them. “Well let’s hope you don’t get a reaction from any of those vaccines.”

“So far, so fucking good,” Nigel said as Beauty put her scrubbed clean paws on the bed, and licked at Lee’s feet, happy he was awake. Her long tail wagged quickly, and she managed to get up on the little bed by his feet, to curl up.

Taking Nigel’s hand, Lee rubbed his toes against Beauty from under the blankets that kept him warm, even if the room was warm, he was still chilled. “Good,” he said, resting his head against Nigel’s shoulder.

There was a knock at the door, and after Nigel said to come in, a team of three doctors, all of them dressed from head to toe in clean surgical gowns, with masks and gloves on, even paper booties over their shoes came in. “These are the doctors,” Nigel explained to Lee, “they’re wearing all that to protect you from the germs and shit outside.”

“Mr. Fallon, hello, good to meet you. I would shake your hand but we want to minimize transmission of anything from the outside to you,” the female doctor at the front of the group said, with a Swiss accent. Her eyes crinkled to show she was smiling.

Lee had done enough cancer related treatments in the past to be aware, but nodded and squeezed Nigel’s hand instead. “Likewise. Thank you for taking me on short notice.” Though Lee was  _ sure _ Nigel and money had been involved in that factor.

“Of course, of course. We are happy to have you with us,” she said. “I am Dr. Rees, this is Dr. Abdul, this is Dr. Chan, we are heading the study, but I will be the physician working with you most directly. You will have my number here, I am available to you anytime for questions, or concerns,” she said, exuding an air of sensibility and control. “Our study is focused on using a multi-layered treatment for cancers that have become very serious, particularly melanomas that have spread throughout the body. We will be using heat to shrink your tumors, cancer tumors, we have found, die off very quickly when heated. This heat will be applied to you generally, since your cancer has spread all over, however, first we will take you to the operating room, sedate you, and use a very thin fiberoptic device to heat the tumors in your lung from the inside, since we can reach them and they are causing you great distress.”

Well, that was new to him. Lee raised his brows, interested. “Heat? And that works, usually?”

“It has resulted in very promising results for patients with your cancer, and stage,” Dr. Rees explained with another smile, and the other two doctors nodded, and one handed Lee some papers in a clean, sealed envelope to examine. “We noticed that you have never had genetic testing done for your cancer, so before we heat your lung tumors with our fiberoptic scope tomorrow, we will take a very, very small biopsy, and have the dna analyses. This will give us a very concrete idea of what drug your cancer will respond to, what will not work on it. So, tomorrow morning, we take you to the OR, we will take your biopsy-” Dr Rees spoke while Dr Chan wrote the schedule very clearly on the white board next to the bed so Lee could see it.    
  
“Thank you, Dr. Chan. We will take the biopsy tomorrow, at the same time, we will heat your lung tumors, and any tumors we can find that we can reach just under your skin. Your last scan in America shows that you have one near your liver that we can reach endoscopically tomorrow, one in your pelvis, and a very large one near your kidney, which is quite concerning and we want to get that out of the way for you. The day after tomorrow, we will begin with your all-over heating. You will be in a sauna, in a comfortable chair, and we will heat your whole body until you are approximately 108 degrees, this is uncomfortable, like having a terrible fever, but we will monitor you and it will not be for very long. After this heating, you may have some vomiting, some diarrhea, but it will pass as you cool down. After your heating, we will deliver the selected chemotherapy that we have chosen based on your dna results. You have already had chemotherapy, but we believe it’s been the wrong kind, hence your unsatisfactory results. This is stage one of your treatment. The heat actually makes your tumors respond much more quickly to chemotherapy than without heating.”

Lee nodded as the doctor spoke, taking everything in. He understood most of it, not surprised by some, and little concerned for the rest, but it was this or die. He couldn’t do that to Nigel, not yet. “From too cold to too hot? I’ll take it.”

“Stage two will be your stem cell transplant. We will use the time in stage one to search for the best possible donor for you. When we find it, we will give you stem cells through an I.V., and this is when we must reduce your immune system on purpose so that your body will not fight your new cells. This will take a couple of months, but by then, we hope that your tumors will show some improvement, and it is better tolerated than the first stage. However, you must stay and live here for approximately six months. We have made arrangements for your husband and dog to stay with you as long as they follow very strict precautions for your health. We must allow no flowers, we are sorry, but items that can be cleaned and sterilized before coming in are fine such as furniture, ipads, and so on. Beauty has a special area on a balcony outside but still on this ward for her bathroom times, but her paws must be wiped before she comes back in, that is all. Do you have questions for us, Mr. Fallon?”

Shaking his head slowly, Lee looked over the papers as they spoke. “No, no questions. It’s pretty straight forward. Nigel?” He looked over at his husband, “Questions?”

“I don’t fucking understand most of that. You’re going to make him really hot?” Nigel asked, arms folded over his chest as he frowned at the board.

“Yes, the tumors will respond to the heat by dying and shrinking, and this makes it easier for the drugs to kill them,” the doctor explained. 

Nigel looked at Lee, questioningly, “You’re okay with this?”

“Is there a choice?” Lee asked Nigel, through the oxygen mask. “We came all this way. It’s this or let it kill me.”

Nigel sighed and nodded, taking Lee’s hand with his own, holding it in both of his. “Okay, just making sure, baby.”   
  
Dr Rees nodded, and addressed Lee again. “For our stem cell search, we must ask if you have any close relatives who would be willing to be tested to be a match for you? The closer they are, the better, siblings?”

Lee shook his head. “I don’t have anyone…” That he knew of, anyway. Relatives didn’t exactly come knocking down his door.

“Not even cousins?” the doctor asked, with a tilt of her head.

“What’s the fucking difference, anyway?” Nigel asked, confused.   
  
“Stem cells from a relative is much less likely to be rejected, a twin is ideal, of course, it would be as good as Mr. Fallon donating his own, healthy cells, which is not possible right now. A brother or sister, is better, a cousin still more likely to be a good match than a stranger, but we have done many successful transplants from stranger matches, of course.”   
  
Nigel looked at Lee, and took out his phone, texting to someone. 

Lee looked over Nigel’s shoulder for a moment and then back at the doctor. “But it seems my husband is going to try and find someone in my family anyway,” Lee chuckled lightly and then took a few deep breaths to try and not cough.

“How the fuck did you know that?” Nigel asked, a little surprised, and rubbed Lee’s back when he coughed. 

The doctor watched his monitors, and turned the oxygen flow a little higher. “Is that better, Mr. Fallon? If your nose becomes dry, ring for your nurse, she can bring a salve.”

Lee nodded toward the doctor that he understood, and then looked up at Nigel. “I know you, maybe not long, but I _ know  _ you.”

“If you have no questions, Mr. Fallon, we will see you tomorrow morning for your procedure. You will be heavily sedated, but not completely out. Most patients do not remember a thing, nor does it cause them discomfort,” she assured him, and wrote her number on the board. “Should you have questions, call anytime.”

“Thank you,” Lee said, turning his attention to the doctor again, with a nod. “I’m sure it’ll all go fine.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said with a nod and waved goodbye before she and the other two doctors exited the room.    
  
Nigel put his phone down with a sigh, and smiled a little at Lee. “My guys are good at finding people who don’t want to be fucking found. If you’ve got someone, they’ll dig them up.”

“You think I have relatives that are hiding from me?” Lee asked, resting his head back on the pillow, breathing a little easier now. He wished they were doing something sooner than tomorrow, but he was grateful either way.

“Families get fucking weird as soon as money is involved,” Nigel said, knowingly, and smiled a little at Lee. “So, they’re going to fucking cook your tumors?”

“I guess so,” Lee whispered, gazing up at Nigel. “Hot enough to shrivel them up, I’d suspect.”

“Whatever the fuck works, that’s all I care about,” Nigel said, and leaned closer to kiss Lee’s cheek above the mask, impatient for them to start. What if Lee died tonight?

Lee wondered that as well, why the wait, didn’t they have twelve hours to prep for him? He tried not to think about it, and took Nigel’s hand instead, hopeful. If nothing else, they got this time together, unfortunate as it might be to have it in a hospital. “Me too.”

“Nervous?” Nigel asked, softly. His arm and his ass was sore from all the injections he’d received, but he wasn’t the one who was dying for fuck’s sake.

“What’s there to be nervous about?” Lee grinned, turning to his side a little to get Nigel on the bed with him, so he could curl up next to him. “Just gonna sweat my ass off for a while.”

“Fuck, could have just stayed in the tub at home,” Nigel laughed, and fixed the elastic against Lee’s cheek as Beauty got comfortable behind his bent knees.

Lee smiled, reaching behind him with his other hand to pet Beauty there. “Maybe....” He sighed. “Too late for food you think? I don’t even know what time it is.”

“Doesn’t matter what fucking time it is if you’re hungry,” Nigel said, and looked at his phone. “Nine at night. Let’s get something.”

“There’s usually a twelve hour fasting time,” Lee said, not sure how they did things here, but he didn’t want to be  _ sick _ for tomorrow either.

“Ask the nurse, where’s the fucking button?” Nigel asked, fumbling around the bed for it.

Lee reached over his head for the button and pressed it. He hadn’t been hungry in what felt like days, and slept the whole plane ride. He was exhausted, and his body needed something to keep going, or he wasn’t sure he would.

After a long moment, and the sound of the sink outside, a nurse stuck her head in. “Yes?”   
  
“Can he have something to eat? He’s fucking starving, hasn’t eaten all day,” Nigel said, protectively. The nurse looked down at her watch and nodded.   
  
“Yes, but only for the next hour, then we are on nothing by mouth for his procedure. What would you like, Mr. Fallon?” she asked, and smiled at Beauty through the mask she wore.

“What do you have?” Lee didn’t want to put anyone out.

“Roast beef, toast, some salads, fruit,” she suggested with a shrug of her shoulders.

“Roast beef and fruit would be fine, thank you,” Lee said, with a smile. None of it sounded good, but he knew he had to eat something.

“I’ll be right back,” she promised, and looked at the dog. “She has food in here?” She asked, obviously fond of dogs.

“Yeah, she’s got a big dish over there, she’s okay,” Nigel said, with a nod. The nurse agreed, and let herself out.

“Roast beef,” Lee sighed, and  sat up again, adjusting pillows and the bed a little. “You’ve eaten?”

“Yeah, I ate before I fell asleep, I’m good,” Nigel said, waving the idea off as he helped Lee sit up a little more so that he was comfortable. Somehow he went from a self-centered criminal to an adoring husband. Even Nigel wasn’t fucking sure how that happened.

Lee wasn’t sure either, but he was grateful for it. They needed each other that way. Lee had needed to let someone in finally, and let himself be taken care of, and Nigel needed to learn that there were other people in the world worth more than himself.

“Thanks,” Lee whispered, and took the mask off for the time, to drink more of the water he had bedside.

“I dunno what I’ll fucking do while you’re having your procedure tomorrow,” Nigel chuckled, and stretched, popping his shoulder joint loudly as he got up to stretch his legs a little.

“You’re going to be bored to death is what, not to mention the months I have to be here recovering,” Lee replied, even if Nigel wasn’t asking. “I don’t expect you to stick around twenty-four seven.”

“We’re fucking married,” Nigel said as he looked back at Lee. The white of his scrubs made his skin look even more beautifully bronze against the pristine fabric. “You think I’m just going to fuck off and have a good time in Berlin while you’re in here?”

“That’s not what I said,” Lee reasoned, swallowing down the rest of the water in the bottle. “But I would understand if you had to step out for some air or something. Make a phone call…”

“I’d rather be here,” Nigel said, as he walked back to Lee, his expression heartbreakingly serious as he touched his side through the sheet. Nigel had been terrified since the morning Lee started coughing blood that if he left him, even for an hour … he’d come back to Lee’s body, and regret stepping out for the rest of his life.

“Okay.” Lee understood, but he wanted to give Nigel the option, of course. “You’ll get to see me at my very worst. It’ll be fun.”

Nigel sighed, and shook his head with a laugh. “You think puking is the worst? Baby, your worst is better than anyone else’s best.”

“To you.” Lee chuckled, and set the mask back over his face. “I just mean it’s going to be a lot more than puking. I’ll get sicker before I get better.”  _ If _ he got better. Chances were higher now, at least.

“You could shit the bed a million times, and never be ugly,” Nigel assured Lee with a laugh, and kissed his forehead. “Is that what you’re afraid of?”   
  
The door opened and the nurse carried in a tray of roast beef, some mashed potatoes, and a bowl of fruit with a couple of wrapped bottles of water, and metal utensils wrapped like OR instruments with striped tape holding them closed until Lee opened them.

Lee gave Nigel a look and took the tray when it was put down in front of him. “Thank you,” he told the nurse again, and unwrapped the silverware. The meal smelled better than the idea of roast  beef had at least.

The nurse noted Lee’s vitals again, then petted Beauty for a moment, and left them for the meal. Nigel looked at the meal and then at Lee, “Looks pretty good for fucking hospital food…”

“It is,” Lee said and took the mask off for now and set it aside, and cut into the beef and slathered it in potatoes before putting it into his mouth, chewing slowly. “It’s not bad either.”

“Good, you need something in your system,” Nigel said, and sat heavily in the armchair next to Lee’s bed. Beauty came over to him, and climbed up on his lap, which made Nigel smile. “Aww. Coming to sit with me, Beaut-”

She leaned over to get a closer look at Lee’s meal.   
  
“Traitor,” Nigel sighed.

Lee chuckled but made sure not to let her have any. “I’m pretty sure sharing with a dog is not on the list of advised  activities before surgery.”

Nigel pulled her back, gently, and pet her instead. “Good fucking point,” he nodded, and gave Beauty some attention, instead. “Sorry, mutt.” Beauty laid down in Nigel’s lap, still happy. “She’s getting healthier every day…”

“Bigger too,” Lee said, shoving more food into his mouth, hungrier than he thought he was, aware he was on some high pain killers, something for the nausea too, no doubt.

“Soon, you’ll join her,” Nigel promised with a little smile. They were throwing fucking everything into this treatment. There was nothing to lose by hoping for the best with aggressive optimism that bordered on lunacy. He fucking needed it, like he used to need cigarettes.

“Will I? Am I another stray of yours?” Lee chuckled, and ate the last bit of roast and potatoes with a little groan, and then grabbed the bowl of fruit.

Nigel laughed and shook his head as he scratched Beauty’s ears. “Wasn’t that fucking long ago I was a stray myself,” he said, and thumbed through his phone, put in a password, and showed Lee a photo of himself, much younger, with long hair and shadowy eyes, cigarette in hand, much thinner than his well-muscled form.

“You kept pictures of yourself?” Lee asked, with a big smile, popping a grape into his mouth. “So handsome, still are.”

Nigel passed the phone over, with a shift of his jaw at the question, and he chuckled. “No one else is fucking keeping pictures of me.” This was all he had. No childhood photos, no mother saving albums, no portraits. This was his only look back. 

“I don’t have any. My parents had them, no idea where they are now,” Lee sighed, and flitted through the pictures. “I really wish I had known you then.” Come to think of it, he didn’t even know Nigel’s age.

Nigel flipped to another photo, his hair was down to his shoulders, and he was wearing old clothing, very worn. He was obviously not rich, and looked softer in the eyes, almost shyer. “You wouldn’t have liked me. I was on coke, heroin, I was pretty fucked up.”

“How long ago was this?” Lee asked, one to judge for himself if he would have or not. Granted, he was not as understanding before his cancer as he was now.

“I was …” Nigel looked at the picture, unable to remember the year. “Late twenties there? Yeah, I was on everything under the sun, working, but only to get more drugs. I wasn’t … serious about anything but getting high, maybe dying.”

“What changed?” Lee was curious, he wanted to know everything about his husband he could get, a better sign of his health then not caring, as if he were going to die.

Nigel smirked a little at the question, and chuckled a little. “I don’t fucking tell anyone these things but  _ you _ ,” he said, affectionately, and took a deep breath. “It was … a small thing, to most people. I passed out somewhere one night. I woke up next to the sidewalk in the gutter, outside my dealer’s house. A car pulled up, and a guy in a suit got out, went into my dealer’s house, came out counting a stack of money like I’d never seen. He actually fucking stepped on me as he got into his car, like used me to get off the curb like I was a piece of wood or something. He got in, drove off … and I saw myself. I knew there were two kinds of people where I lived, people who got stepped on, people who did the stepping.” Nigel looked at his hands, then Lee.

“I got tired of being stepped on. I locked myself in a room with a big ass jug of water, vomited and shit myself for … fuck I don’t know, a week? Came out clean, and hungry, and started clawing my way up. I killed that guy who stepped on me, a year later,” Nigel said, and sighed. 

More and more Lee was seeing the sort of life Nigel had to lead, as it was all he knew, all he could know. Nigel liked to see himself as a bad person, and maybe he was, but all Lee saw was someone in need of guiding. “And so on up from there…”

“Up and up, and up. I thought I was doing well in Romania, until I got to the states. My fucking god, the states. Everything exploded for me. My work was my fucking life, getting more powerful, getting higher up was everything … and then I met you.” Nigel smiled at the thin man in the hospital bed, and swallowed hard. “Now I have a reason to take a break.”

Lee set his tray aside and tugged Nigel closer, by his  scrub shirt, and kissed him. “Has  it been just horrible with me?” he teased.

“Yeah, fucking horrible, that’s why I made you marry me,” Nigel whispered with a chuckle, and kissed Lee again, softly, then rested their faces together.

“Made me?” Lee laughed against Nigel’s mouth, cupping his jaw with one hand.

Nigel kissed Lee’s lower lip, then nuzzled him again. “Asked you, convinced you,” he said, softly.

“Good thing I am in love with you,” Lee sighed, contently. He could die now and have been happy with his life.

“Damn good thing,” Nigel whispered, and offered Lee his oxygen mask again after another kiss.

Lee lifted his head to let Nigel put it on him, and then rested back again. He took Nigel's hand and held it, fingers twined. He waited a beat, and then spoke; “Your past isn't you, or who you've become. You're a caring, compassionate man that I adore.”

Nigel swallowed hard, and bit the inside of his cheek, which hollowed it more dramatically as he listened to Lee say that. “You bring it out, gorgeous.”

Lee believed they found each other for good reasons, it was clear they both needed someone to wake them from their set ways. They needed love, needed each other. Lee needed someone to fight for him, and Nigel did just that where Lee would have given into death weeks ago. “I love you, my bear,” he breathed through the mask. There was hope between them now, no longer lingering desperation.

“Can you sleep more? You’re going to be fucking tired tomorrow,” Nigel murmured, and rubbed Lee’s chest with one hand.

“I have a feeling I’m going to be doing a lot of sleeping,” Lee managed to muster, though he was tired, exhausted honestly. His body was working hard to fight something right now it just couldn’t get rid of.

“Maybe that’s for the best. On the other hand, I need to fucking move around or I’ll have even more of a stomach than I do now by the time you’re out of here,” Nigel said, with a little smirk.

“Is this your way of telling me to go to sleep so you can go for a walk with Beauty?” Lee asked, with a grin, not offended in the least.

“Not at all,” Nigel said, and dropped to the floor to start doing pushups. Beauty jumped down and started to sniff at Nigel, then bowed, and barked, trying to play.

Lee laughed, holding the mask to his face tighter as he leaned over to watch Nigel. “Now you’re trying to be impressive? Right when I can’t entice you with sex…”

“If I was trying to be impressive,” Nigel said as he pushed himself off the floor, easily, “I’d have my shirt off…” He flashed a smirk up at Lee.

“I feel jipped,” Lee said, matter of factly, the mask over his mouth covering the smile he had on his face, but his eyes crinkled at the edges a little.

Nigel stood up, and peeled his shirt off, then tossed it at Lee, and went back to doing pushups on the floor, with Beauty’s “help”. Lee watched, curled his fingers around Nigel’s shirt white scrub shirt, wondering if it would smell like his cologne or not, but he wouldn’t be able to tell anyway, and likely not.

“You are quite the sight,” Lee praised, leaning his head back against the pillow, taking slow, deep breaths.

“Yeah?” Nigel asked, as he managed a quick look up at Lee, still going, even though his breath was short, his arms were still quite capable. 

“More than I could do even when I was healthy,” Lee whispered, watching his husband, his body slowly sagging into the bed, clearly still exhausted from fighting so hard.

Nigel got up, and walked to Lee, then leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I’ve always been strong, just not a good runner, maybe,” he chuckled.

Lee took deeper, more ragged breaths, and gripped Nigel’s arm with one hand, tired blue eyes drifting up to his amber ones. “You’re perfect.”

“Perfect?” Nigel chuckled, and rested one palm over Lee’s chest. “Those must be the painkillers talking. Do you need more?”

The painkillers were definitely starting in on him, making him more drowsy and now that he’d eaten, he felt completely blissed out. “Nah,” Lee said, shaking his head a little, chest sinking under Nigel’s hand with each breath he took.

Nigel’s heart still broke to see Lee like this, frail and helpless, but he believed with the tenacity of a bull that Lee was going to get better. Lee was going to live. He had to. Nigel needed him to. “If you feel any pain, baby, let me know,” he purred, and kissed Lee’s thin throat.

“Okay,” Lee rasped out, and cleared his throat, his eyes shutting at the touch of Nigel’s lips against his skin, and reached his hand to hold him just there for a moment longer. “I’m gonna sleep, okay? Can’t keep my eyes open.”

Nigel felt a cold stab of fear. Those sounded like last words. He swallowed down his fear, and nodded. “Okay, baby. I’ll be here. If I’m not here, I took Beauty out, okay?” He kissed Lee’s frail hands, one at a time.

“Love you, Nigel,” Lee whispered.

“Love you too, Baby. See you when you wake up,” Nigel said back, almost as a talisman against the possibility of Lee not waking, of those being his last words.

“Better be here,” he Lee mumbled, a little smile on his face as he side eyed Nigel, and swallowed, his eyes closing to rest.

Nigel stayed with Lee as he watched his eyes shut. He was beyond exhausted, so fucking tired that his eyes burned between blinks, and he felt a little drunk. Nigel pulled his chair closer to Lee’s bed, and laid in it, one hand still on Lee’s hand. He watched him for what seemed like hours, watching Lee’s chest rise and fall, and at some point, fell asleep himself.


	12. Chapter 12

Lee woke when he heard shuffling into their room, he’d somehow made it over to his side, drooling into the oxygen mask. His mouth and face around his lips felt chapped, and sore. It was morning, he was pretty sure.

“Good morning, Mr. Fallon?” the doctor asked, here with two nurses this time. Nigel had fallen asleep with his hand on Lee’s hand, and he jerked awake at the sound, his right hand going for a gun that wasn’t there before he stopped himself, realized where he was, and looked at Lee with relief. 

Lee still looked sickly and gaunt, but he was alive and breathing. He rolled to his back, and nodded toward the doctor and nurses. “Yup, I’m awake…”

“We’re glad you had a good sleep, your nurse said you were both out for the entire night, which I’m sure is well deserved,” she nodded, and looked at Lee’s chart. “Unfortunately I cannot permit you breakfast this morning, of course, we are going to take you down to the operating room in just a moment. Do you have any questions?”    
  
Nigel ran a hand through his own hair, and helped Lee roll to his back, then adjusted the mask for him and looked at his eyes with a little smile. “How soon until he feels better? Until his breathing is better?” Nigel asked.   


“Tumor reduction usually begins in within a week of the treatment. The more obtrusive the tumor, the more rapidly one feels improvement. I hope that Lee’s breathing will improve a little every day after the first day or so, which may be painful due to temporary inflammation from the heat, Dr. Rees answered.

“Worse before better,” Lee said, just as he told Nigel, but he knew relief would hopefully come soon after. “No… questions from me. Eager to get going.”

“Okay, in that case, we will start your sedation now,” the doctor said, and let one of the nurses start to infuse Lee’s iv with sedatives, very slowly. “You will begin to feel quite relaxed soon, this is a powerful hypnotic and anti-anxiety agent, it will wear off in about two to three hours, when you are back here in your room. You may not remember very much about the procedure.”

“Hypnotic? Should I be worried?” Lee asked, with a light chuckle, winking up at his husband.

“You may see things, you will be in a pleasant, dream-like state,” the doctor assured Lee as Nigel took his hand and smiled down at him.    
  
“I’m fucking jealous, you’re getting all the good shit, baby,” Nigel whispered, and winked back.

“If you’d like to take my cancer, I’ll be glad to give you the good stuff,” Lee teased, already starting to feel his limbs get heavier, and his mind get floaty.

“Baby, if I could I would have taken it weeks ago,” Nigel whispered, and touched Lee’s short hair as the drugs started to seep into Lee’s bloodstream.

Lee hummed, closing his eyes at the feeling of Nigel’s hand on his head, his hair having grown a little, but thinned from the chemo. “We never got wedding cake…”

“Shit, we didn’t, did we? We’ll have to get some. What fucking kind do you want, baby?” Nigel asked, softly, and smiled at the sound of Lee’s voice as his mind clearly started to wander.

“A want a French Basque cake,” Lee said, opening his eyes to look at Nigel, who seemed to be glowing in his white scrubs, like an angel. “My.. my mom used to make one for special occasions.”

“Basque cake?” Nigel asked, while the nurses readied all of Lee’s wires and tubes to go down with him into the operating room. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a difficult cake to make, it’s layers of pastry and creme, sometimes fruit,” Lee said, with a chuckle. “It’s so good, I haven’t had it since I was fifteen.”

“I’ll get you one, from … Basque,” Nigel said with a smile at Lee, then kissed his head. “That’ll be our wedding cake, okay?”   
  
The doctor smiled at them from behind the mask. “It looks like you’re ready to go, Mr. Fallon. How are you feeling?”

Lee smiled at Nigel, and then over to the doctor. “Not much different,” he said, and then lowered his voice, “Did you know my husband is an angel? He’s all glowy. A bear angel.” He hummed. “Maybe I’m in heaven.”

“You’re not in heaven, baby, stay the fuck away from Heaven, okay?” Nigel chuckled, and kissed Lee’s head. “I love you. Go kill those tumors, okay?” he whispered in Lee’s ear, one hand on his chest.

“Love you, my angel bear,” Lee whispered, blue eyes dazed and dark as his pupils seemed to get wider as the drugs coursed through his system.

The doctor held open the door as the nurses pushed Lee’s stretcher through it after Nigel kissed his forehead again. “We will call up and let you know when he is out of surgery, and when to expect him back up,” she assured Nigel, who just looked pale, and exhausted all over again, and sat down hard in his chair, elbows on his knees.

Lee watched the lights overhead until he was too dizzy to focus on them and let his eyes close, feeling as though he were floating. Everything started to be a blur, and though he wasn’t quite asleep, he was pretty sure he was dreaming, mostly of cake and bears.

Within two and a half hours, Lee was wheeled back into his clean room. Nigel stood up when Lee was brought in, and went to the side of his bed even before it was in place. “Is he okay? How did it go? What the fuck happened?” he asked, in rapid succession.

“Everything went very well, we treated the tumors in his lungs, and the superficial tumors we talked about yesterday,” the doctor explained with a smile as the nurses began to re-attach Lee’s equipment to the sleek hooks around his bed so that they were out of the way. “We took a biopsy, it’s in the lab now, they are working on it. He will be sore, of course, so we’ll keep him comfortable with painkillers, but everything went very well,” she explained.

Lee was in and out, and blinked up at Nigel. “There you are….”

“Hey there, gorgeous,” Nigel whispered with a big, rare smile at Lee, then kissed Lee’s forehead. Lee smelled a little … burnt, but he looked no worse for the wear. “How are you feeling, baby?”

Lee had color to him for the first time in a while. “I… dunno. Floaty?” Lee laughed a little, and reached out his hand for Nigel. 

“Still a little high, that’s okay,” Nigel chuckled, and sat on the edge of Lee’s hospital bed as he held Lee’s hand.  “I took Beauty out for a little game of soccer, then we washed up and came back in to wait for you. We got some food while we were out, we can heat it up later when you feel like eating.”

“Is it cake?” Lee grinned under the mask, eyes brightening.

“Yeah, it’s cake … part of it. Not your special cake, but it’s some cake,” Nigel laughed, and looked at the nurse. “Can he eat now?”   
  
The nurse took Lee’s vitals, and considered it. “Let’s have him drink some water first. If that is good, then yes, he can eat a little bit, then more in an hour after that.”   
  
“Thirsty, baby?” Nigel asked, and brought Lee a cold bottle of water from their little fridge.

Lee nodded, watching Nigel’s still glowy form as he scooted up a little in the bed. “Yeah.” He removed the oxygen mask.

Nigel brought the water to Lee, and opened it, then helped him hold the bottle as he drank from it. “That’s got to feel good, huh?”

Lee’s hands shook as he held the water, and sipped it at first and then guzzled it down, parched. He licked his lips, taking a break to breathe, and then took more down. “Mhm.”

Nigel helped, holding the bottom of the bottle as Lee guzzled the first water he’d had in over twelve hours. “Good? Maybe let that settle before I get more. I’ve learned through many a fucking hangover,” he winked.

Lee nodded slowly, and sat back again, the water gone for now. The drugs were slowly wearing off, and his vision was less hazy. “Did you sleep?”

“No, just got some food, walked the dog, made a couple phone calls and showered,” Nigel said as he looked at Lee’s monitors, still not sure what they all meant. He knew they’d scream if Lee’s heart stopped, he was thankful for that.

“Good,” Lee said, the water luckily was settling fine in his stomach. “I had visions of you jumping out of cake…”

Nigel burst out laughing at that, and shook his head at Lee. “What? What the … out of a fucking cake?”

“You know, like one of those strippers at parties that pop out of cakes,” Lee said coyly, touching Nigel’s arm.

“Oh, like a fucking dancing girl?” Nigel laughed, and moved closer, chuckling at the idea. “Let me fucking guess, icing in my chest hair?”

“Icing  _ all _ over,” Lee laughed and tugged Nigel down for a kiss by his shirt. “I’d lick it all over too,” he whispered.

“Lucky me,” Nigel whispered, and kissed his husband slowly, one hand cupping his sharp jaw as Nigel’s mouth warmed the water that lingered on Lee’s lips. “When you’re better, you can lick whatever the fuck you want off of me.”

“What an incentive,” Lee crooned against Nigel’s mouth, eyes half closed as the after effects still lingered in his system, tingly.

“When you’re better, I’ll suck you off, and then fuck you senseless in the middle of a fucking nightclub,” Nigel whispered, quite aware Lee loved the thrill of unusual places.

“A nightclub huh?” Lee asked, licking his lips as he gazed up at Nigel, eyes dark with more than just the drugs.

“Anywhere you want,” Nigel promised, meaning it with a devilish smirk. 

What Lee would do to have Nigel right then, but with the doctors and nurses likely keeping an eye on the room, he knew it wouldn’t happen. One day at time. “I’ll keep it in mind and think about it then.”

“Is there something you’ve wanted to do, and haven’t?” Nigel asked, one hand on Lee’s chest. Right now, the sweetest feeling of the world was Lee’s thin chest rising and falling. It was his future, breathing.

“Sexually?” Lee asked with a small flitter of laughter, coughing a little at the end, but it wasn’t nearly as bad.

“Yeah,” Nigel said, softly but with a rough drag in his voice as he rubbed Lee’s chest, as though to soothe it.

Lee had a done a lot, honestly, but he wouldn’t mind doing them all over again with Nigel. “As long as it’s with you, I think I’d do anything, even do it over and over again.”

Nigel chuckled at that, and brushed his fingers over Lee’s stubble, adoringly. “We’ll have another first date. I’ll fuck you in a car in an alley,” he laughed. “Maybe in your bar again, that was nice. I could pull you into my lap at that table above everything, and see if anyone notices…”

Lee bit his bottom lip at the thought, eyes lighting up bright blue. “Take me over the rail.” He hummed, and then a thought dawned on him. “Who is taking care of the bar?” Martin hadn’t been found yet, but a missing person’s report had been filed.

“Don’t worry,” Nigel smirked, and ran his thumb over Lee’s knuckles, careful not to move his iv. “I’ve got some guys on it, it’s in good hands, gorgeous. No worrying. You can phone if you want, fucking talk to them.”

“Your guys? ‘Guys’ that know about wine I hope,” Lee asked, brows raised, not wanting to worry, he had to trust Nigel would find a good fit.

“I’m not just going to let a couple of fucking thugs go run your bar,” Nigel scoffed, a little offended. “I got classy guys, too, guys who know shit, Lee.”

“I was just curious,” Lee sighed.

“You can call, seriously,” Nigel offered, and held out his phone for Lee. Lee was the only person in the world he would trust with the device from which he ran what was in truth, an Empire.

“I trust you,” Lee said, knowing this was one of those things they had to have. He trusted that Nigel would not run his bar into the ground. “Just make sure the bar bites get prepped the same way. Those Mac and cheese balls burn quick.”

Nigel took his phone, and texted the reminder, with a very serious face. “Mac and … what? What the fuck is a Mac? Isn’t that a computer?”

“Macaroni,” Lee said.” It’s macaroni and cheese scooped into balls and deep fried in oil.”

Nigel looked sort of amazed at the thought, and smirked. “Okay, that sounds fucking good.”

“It is,” Lee assured him, his stomach growling loudly.

“Ready for some food?” Nigel asked with a laugh, and rubbed Lee’s stomach through his hospital gown, gently.

Lee put his hand over Nigel's, feeling his warmth there, even if he was much warmer today himself. “Starved.”

Nigel went to the little fridge and pulled out a container of food, which he served onto a clean plate the hospital supplied them with, then put it in a small microwave on the counter for a minute, and brought it to Lee with more sterile-wrapped utensils, in case Lee needed to eat it in small bites. “Pizza. I know it’s fucking Italian, but it was the most American food I could find,” he said.

“You brought this in?” Lee asked, amusement coloring his tone as he opened the utensils and started to cut it into small bites, hands shaking slightly.

“Yeah, there’s a place a few blocks away. The nurses said it was fine, they eat there all the time, haven’t had any problems,” Nigel said, and watched Lee cut up the pizza, the way his hands trembled.

Lee wouldn't ask for help either, he'd done right trials in twelve years by himself, he could cut pizza. “I was just curious if you'd gone out of the way,” he murmured around a small bite, taking it slow.

“A little bit,” Nigel smirked, and leaned close to kiss Lee before he ate. “Cake for dessert.”

“This will get boring after a few weeks,” Lee said, and then pushed a bite into his mouth, chewing it slowly, to make sure it settled well first.

“There’s other fucking food out there, you know,” Nigel said, and stole a piece of pepperoni with his fingers.

Lee rolled his eyes and gave Nigel an exasperated look. “I meant being trapped in here.” Lee would do what he had to try and make this work, but he didn’t want to trap Nigel here.

“I’d rather you were bored and alive than dead,” Nigel sighed. “It’s not forever.”

“Me too.  I’m worried you’ll grow bored of being in here. Three months is a long time to be isolated,” Lee explained with concern, tilting his head toward Nigel.

“I don’t give a shit,” Nigel said, and leaned back in his chair, legs spread. “I don’t want shit to happen while I’m gone.”

“You think I’d leave without saying goodbye?” Lee said with his brows raised. He was stubborn, he wouldn’t let that happen if he could help it. He ate two more bites, slowly, reaching his free hand to Nigel. “I trust this treatment to work, to at least prolong the inevitable a little bit.”

Nigel sighed, and shifted in the chair, then looked at his ring. “You might not have a choice about saying goodbye, shit happens…”

Lee scooted just a little, making room for his broad shouldered husband, not too difficult considering how thin Lee was now. “Come here and hold me.”

Nigel climbed into the bed with Lee, careful not to crush him, and wrapped his arms around Lee’s thin shoulders, then pulled him against his chest. “Like this?”

Lee let his plate of pizza sit on his lap, resting back against Nigel, more concerned with having him there, and having Nigel’s arm around him. “Perfect,” he sighed.

“Don’t worry about me, for fuck’s sake. I can work over my phone, play with the dog, whatever. The world isn’t going anywhere.”

“I can worry if I want to,” Lee said, stubbornly, eating a few more pieces before he decided he just couldn’t stomach much more. He set the tray to the bedside table, shakily, and then rested his head up against Nigel’s shoulder, gazing at him.

“Full already?” Nigel asked, with a little smile down at his husband. Lee’s eyes were still beautiful, big and blue.

“I don’t want to push it,” Lee said, quietly, his stomach was already rolling slightly. He turned to his side and curled into Nigel.

“Probably a good idea, don’t need to fuck it up now that you’re able to eat,” Nigel whispered, and let Lee snuggle into him with a faint smile on his lips.

“I’ll have to eat the cake later,” Lee smiled, and kissed Nigel’s scrub covered chest.

“It can wait, no fucking rush. I won’t eat it before you do,” Nigel smiled. His heart broke a little at how small Lee was, how easy it was to hold him now. Lee had lost a lot of muscle in a short time, his body running in overdrive to keep up with the tumors that were eating him alive.

“Better not,” Lee teased, huffing an exhausted breath as he rested his head there over Nigel’s chest. “Beauty has been okay?” At that thought Lee remembered; “Did we find someone to work the the Dog Wash?”

“My assistant’s daughter goes to Princeton, and she fucking loves dogs. She’s working there,” Nigel smiled, assuring his husband everything was okay while he recovered.

Lee’s memory had been shoddy lately, especially since things started to go downhill. “I knew that right?” He let out sigh and wrapped his arm over Nigel’s stomach.

“No, baby. I didn’t mention it. Didn’t seem important. It’s okay, she’s responsible, training to be a vet,” Nigel chuckled.

“Okay, good. I’m sure she’s doing a great job,” Lee said, though honestly he missed being busy, but being here was busy in it’s own right, with sleeping mostly.

“When you’re better, do you want to go back to grooming, or the bar?” Nigel asked, trying to focus on the chance that Lee was going to survive all of this.

“I did the grooming out of need for something to do, but I’d like to keep the business there, people liked coming in,” Lee whispered, voice rough sounding.

Nigel rubbed Lee’s back with one hand, and nodded. “Yeah, makes sense. Besides, Beauty likes the place, and we fucking met there. It can’t close down,” he whispered, and kissed Lee’s delicate ear, then offered him water.

“Heaven forbid we lose where we met,” Lee agreed, and sat up a little to sip from the water bottle.

“It should be a National fucking monument,” Nigel said with a smile as he held the bottle for Lee, wetting his dry throat and lips.

“Preserved by the historic society?” Lee asked between long drink of water, and then licked his dry, chapped lips. He was utterly in love still, and was sure he always would be, no matter much longer this treatment gave him.

“Yeah, with some sort of sign that says we met here, then fucked in a car, and the rest is history,” Nigel purred, happily. Maybe the treatment would give them a few more months, maybe another year… Nigel didn’t know.

Lee smiled up at Nigel, all but laying over him now as he moved again. “Tell me honestly, where did you think you’d be four weeks from that night?”

Nigel laughed, and thought it over. “Before I met you? I thought I’d probably be doing exactly what I’d been doing for years, working and drinking until it all became a big fucking blur and I didn’t care about anything anymore.”

“And after that night?” Lee had a feeling Nigel needed companionship as much as he did himself, though neither one would ever admit it.

“I saw myself with you, maybe not here, but definitely with you. Maybe we were in a fucking restaurant, maybe at home, I don’t know. I knew I was hooked,” Nigel whispered.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more of that before now,” Lee said, quietly, fingers curled into Nigel’s shirt at his chest. Nigel might not think he deserved better, but Lee thought he did, because Nigel had only ever been sweet and kind to him.

“You can give me more of that later,” Nigel purred, and kissed Lee’s lips while he had his oxygen mask off.

It was easier to breathe for the time being, and Lee was enjoying the freedom of being able to nuzzle and kiss his husband, and nose against his neck to get his scent. It was the little things now that meant the most. “I plan to.”

“Make a list, everything you want to do when you’re out, we’ll do every single fucking thing, no matter how long it takes,” he promised.

“So long as we’re together,” Lee said, quietly, happy to be held right now like this as his insides started to ache, just as they said it would. “You promised me Italy.”

“I promised you Italy. We’ll go, we’ll lay naked on beaches and drink the best wine in the fucking country,” Nigel whispered, with his warm lips against Lee’s ear.

Lee laughed; “No one is going to appreciate looking at me naked now,” the brunet said, well aware he was nothing more than skin and bones at this point.

“I fucking will,” Nigel purred, and gave the lobe of Lee’s ear a little bite, then handed him his oxygen mask again. “Need this?”

Lee let Nigel put the mask back on him, and then sighed, it was still easier to breathe with it, even if he could do so just fine without. “Thanks.” He nuzzled against Nigel’s neck, even if the plastic got in the way.

“Soon you won’t need it,” Nigel whispered, and kissed the top of Lee’s head.

They weren’t out of the woods yet, but Lee was all for having a good attitude about it, otherwise it would be easy to slip under in a depression and he promised himself he wouldn’t do that. He closed his eyes and snuggled into Nigel, head against his chest, listening to his heart. “Three months from now we’ll be leaving.”

“Three months is fucking nothing, baby,” Nigel whispered, and pulled the blanket up around Lee before Beauty jumped up to join them, and snuggled Lee’s legs. “Before you know it, those goddamn tumors will shrink, and we’ll be out.”

“Can’t wait to be well enough to let you fuck me again,” Lee whispered back, biting his own lip behind the mask, the thought roused him, even as his body protested to anything exerting.

Nigel smiled at that, and scraped his teeth along the side of Lee’s throat. Lee was thin, his skin was dry, his hair was starting to thin, Nigel still wanted him, more than anyone on Earth. “Me neither, baby. I still think you’ve got the world’s most fuckable ass…”

Lee moaned a little at that, breath hitching. “Fuck, I love you,” he whispered out hoarsely.

“Love you too, gorgeous. Dunno how you do it, but you’re still fucking hot,” he smirked, and bit at Lee’s pulse, very softly.

“Mm,” Lee hummed, his skin flushing, hotter than he was before, even though he was already pretty warm from the operation. His heart picked up to at that, racing at Nigel’s ministrations.

Nigel chuckled, and sighed. “Can’t get you too worked up,” he whispered, teasingly, and kissed Lee’s cheek over the mask elastic.

“Too late,” Lee chuckled, huffing through the mask.

Nigel laughed softly, and ran one hand over Lee’s thigh. “Sorry, gorgeous, gotta save your energy,” he whispered, teasing Lee.

“You’re awful.” Lee spread his thighs just a little, wanting that bit more of Nigel’s hand to cover it, though not hard now with the muscle mass dwindling away.

Nigel didn’t care if Lee couldn’t get hard, he just wanted to touch him, make him happy for a moment. Nigel ran his palm over Lee’s thigh, again, caressing it slowly, warming the skin just for the sake of warming the skin and letting Lee feel he still wanted to touch him.

Lee was sure if he could, he would, but his body was definitely saying no, the trauma and pain, everything was working against him. Still, Nigel’s ever heated palm against him was nice, and cooled any fears Lee might have had lingering about not being enough. Nigel wasn’t leaving, he wasn’t going anywhere-- he still wanted Lee.

“When this is all over, I’m going to ride you so _ hard _ …”

“Yeah? So hard you’re going to bruise my hips with that beautiful ass of yours?” Nigel whispered, and kissed Lee’s neck.

“Yes,” Lee gasped, taking in a lungful of oxygen as he did, his whole body tingly, on fire for more reasons than just the procedure.

“I can’t wait,” Nigel whispered, as he ran his palm over Lee’s thigh, over his groin, not at all displeased not to feel him hard there right now. Lee was alive, Lee enjoyed this, that was all Nigel fucking cared about right now.

It felt good, despite having no erection, and Lee was flushed with color from all Nigel was doing. “Multiple times. In the Italian villa we’re going to own.”

“We’ll get so fucking tan,” Nigel chuckled, and rubbed his palm over Lee’s balls under the hospital gown, gently.

“We’ll do that too, tan naked on our balcony,” Lee hummed, his voice quieter as he gazed up into Nigel’s eyes.

“While we drink wines you’ve only dreamed about,” Nigel whispered back, helping to paint the picture of the future in Lee’s head, something to stay alive for.

Lee would stay alive for Nigel, plain and simple. The wine and villa were just the whipped cream topping. “Beautiful weather, you in a small speedo…”

“Chest hair gleaming in the fucking sun,” Nigel laughed warmly, still caressing Lee all over, slowly, with no end goal in mind for his touch besides the caressing itself. 

“Glorious,” Lee whispered contently.

 


	13. Chapter 13

The first week wasn't terrible, though uncomfortable, and by the fourth week Lee threw up more than he ever knew he could, but with results that were positive, according to the doctors. They went in and did the same procedure to the remaining tumors, and he remained on the same regime of treatment of too hot. Despite it all, going into month two, Lee put a little weight back on and was feeling better enough to get up and walk around the room a few times with feeling as though he might pass out.

Nigel stayed in the room with Lee almost constantly, leaving only to walk Beauty and go out to get things for them both. It was a strange life, but it was with Lee. He had no fucking complaints. “Look at you, going to be running again soon,” Nigel said as he woke up from where he had slept in the reclining chair that had become his bed for the last month or so.

“I can barely walk two steps without having to stop,” Lee said, breathlessly, holding on to the wall guard there meant for just that. “Maybe I can get up to pee on my own soon.”

Nigel got up, his hair a mess, and stretched before he walked over to Lee to hug him from behind. “Different fucking marathon, I suppose,” he rumbled, and rubbed Lee’s chest with one hand, a habit he’d picked up over the last month.

It was nice to feel some normalcy now, to feel Nigel hug him like this and not clinging get to him in the small bed as he threw up or labored to breathe when everything felt too hot. Lee looked over his shoulder at his husband. “Some honeymoon,” he teased, leaning back into Nigel’s grisly broad chest.

“Helping you to the bathroom is pretty fucking romantic,” Nigel teased back and sighed as his phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out with one hand and looked at the number before answering in Romanian. The man on the other end said something, and Nigel swore, then began to ask questions, in an incredulous tone.

Lee raised a brow. He could pick out some words now, but not enough to be invasive. He simply continued his walk, slowly, using legs that hadn't been used in nearly six weeks.

Nigel listened a while longer, then spoke again, in a surprised, but relieved tone, and hung up. He watched Lee for a moment. “You’re not fucking going to believe this, baby. They found a match.”

“For the stem cells?” Lee asked. He knew the ultimate goal to surviving this was that and he'd almost given up that they'd find someone. “Who?”

Nigel stepped in front of Lee to explain, a flush in his face and a brightness in his dark eyes that suggested that he barely believed this was possible, but it was fucking true. “My guys dug deep, really fucking deep, and uncovered some family secrets. You’ve got a fucking twin.”

Lee laughed out loud to that, shaking his head. “I think my parents would have said something....”

Nigel’s phone buzzed with a text, he pulled it out and looked, then laughed. “Jesus … alright. Look. This guy is your exact fucking age, lives in Virginia, and this is his fucking picture.” Nigel held up the phone to show Lee. It looked exactly like Lee, with curls and glasses.  _ Exactly. _

Lee gripped the rail tighter when he looked, thinking for a second this was some sort of joke. “A twin…” There was no point arguing the point, not when he was faced with a picture and facts. “And he's agreed to help?”

“Not yet, I told my assistant to make him an offer for his help. Apparently, he just lost his job as a cop. I think he can be persuaded…” Nigel said, with a big grin, and a kiss to Lee’s lips.

“I have a brother and he's a cop,” Lee said, still unable to believe it. “ _ Was _ a cop.” He looked at Nigel, arms around his shoulders, supporting himself this way.

“A twin brother, looks fucking identical, same day. We’ll do whatever we have to,” Nigel assured Lee, with a nuzzle.

It was a good thing Lee wasn't the jealous type, seeing had his new found brother looked like him, but better looking at the moment. Lee trusted his husband, and confidence enough even in his state. “You think he'll do it for money?”

“Pretty fucking sure he’s going to need it if he just got cut loose,” Nigel said, confidently. “If I have to go talk to him myself, I’ll fucking do that.”

Thoughtfully, Lee pressed a kiss to Nigel's jaw. “I'm sure you won't need to. Give him extra if he helps, least  _ I  _ can offer.” Seeing as Lee got the inheritance.

“Don’t worry. We can handle it,” Nigel smirked, and beamed at Lee, overjoyed. “This is good, right? She said a twin is best…”

“She did,” Lee said with a little head nod. “Don’t push him to want to see me though. I don’t want obligations.”

“Not gonna do that, baby. Besides, we’d have to sterilize him first,” Nigel joked, with another kiss to his husband’s cheek. “You should tell your doctor, she can arrange for … whatever fucking tests, I don’t know. She can do the doctor shit.”

“We should wait until he agrees. They might have to have him fly out though to donate,” Lee said, not quite sure  _ how _ all that worked.

“Whatever works, probably better if he did it here, I don’t fucking know. I’m just happy we found him. Why the fuck didn’t you know about a twin?” Nigel asked, perplexed.

Lee shrugged, arms around Nigel’s waist now as he rested up against him. “Don’t know. I’ve always been an only child. My parents could have adopted him out, but I don’t know why they would, they had more than enough money to raise twins…”

“Who the fuck knows? In my neighborhood, women would have babies for rich people who couldn’t, they’d get paid well. It was like a profession for them,” Nigel reasoned.

“Surrogates?” Lee asked, looking up at Nigel. “I don’t know. My parents never talked about it, but come to think of it, my mother never had pictures of herself pregnant…”

“Find some woman with a good womb, pay her, tell fucking no one. When the rich families would come pick out the woman, they were all paranoid that someone might see them do it, like a drug deal or some shit. Ridiculous. The woman would go on vacation somewhere for nine months, boom, come back with a baby.”

Lee was hardly worried about the why at the moment, but more of the getting his newly found twin brother to agree. “If this works, we can look into it later.”

“I’m sure we can find out,” Nigel agreed, and looked at his phone again when it buzzed with a text. “My assistant is talking to this guy now. His name’s Will.”

Lee took paused and rested his head against Nigel’s shoulder. He had a brother named Will, likely short for William. “Let’s hope Will is generous.”

“I’m more generous, trust me,” Nigel muttered with a smirk, and kissed Lee’s forehead, holding him with both arms. Hope was a good feeling. If this Will guy consented, it could make everything much easier for Lee.

“I know you are,” Lee whispered, swaying just a little with Nigel, happy to get back to parts of where they had been before he went down hill. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but things were finally looking up.

Nigel’s phone buzzed again, and he looked at it. “Will wants a few days to think it over. He’s suspicious and wants proof,” Nigel sighed. “Former cop, of fucking course he’s suspicious…”

“Someone shows up at his house with money and claims of a twin brother? I’d be suspicious too,” Lee admitted with a big grin. “Can’t blame him.”

“So, hopefully, we’ll hear back in a day or so,” Nigel said with a sigh. He was impatient, eager to seal the deal for Lee’s sake, and ensure Lee was going to recover as well as he possibly could.

“We’ll let the doctor know to set up for it, just in case he agrees,” Lee mused, leaning up to kiss Nigel’s jaw. “It’s going to work out.” He had to be optimistic.

“Of course it is,” Nigel nodded, and then smirked. “They can use bone marrow from a dead guy, right?” he teased, mostly joking. If he had to choose between some fucking guy named Will dying, and Lee? Easy choice.

“I think? Can we not off my twin brother until I’ve gotten to meet him?” Lee teased, and pressed his lips against Nigel’s.

Nigel gave a soft grunt, a bear-ish sound of reluctant consent, and nodded after the kiss. “Fine, not until you meet him, if I have to,” he admitted.

“Thank you, my bear,” Lee hummed, and cupped Nigel’s face with both of his hand, lovingly, and kissed him again.

***

Two days later, a fuss was made as Lee had a visitor that one of Nigel’s men brought over via private jet. They had him do as Nigel had to do every time he left, and wash up and scrub in. Will Graham walked into the very pristine room in white scrubs that were ill fitting, and looked highly out of place on the curly haired man. He stood there awkwardly a moment, mostly observing the room, and then the dog.

Oh, God a dog. Will put his hand out to pet the dog, and Beauty trotted over to sniff him, and then sat down to get pets.

Nigel stood near Lee’s bed, arms folded over his broad chest as he watched Lee’s healthy twin walk in. They’d already done cheek swabs, the lab had confirmed the match. They were identical twins. It was a perfect solution, out of the blue and fucking perfect. “So, you’re Will.”

Will pushed up his glasses with one hand and knelt to pet the dog with the other. “Yes. You’re… Nigel? They didn’t give me a last name.” Which had made it difficult to track, and all Will could do was track his twin. “And Lee.” He gave his twin a look, and swallowed. “I could have donated from the States. I wanted to see you myself.” Which was something for Will, he didn’t often like social settings, nor did he do well in them.

“Not much to see,” Lee retorted, though he looked better these days than he had at the start of treatment.

Nigel didn’t give his last name, on purpose. “Lee’s in chemo, he’s doing great, considering what he’s up against,” Nigel said, with one hand against Lee’s thin shoulder. Nigel was a powerful, protective presence, and watched Will like a man used to sizing people up, fast. “She’s Beauty,” Nigel said, nodding at the dog who seemed to love Will, “rescued her a while ago, took her to Lee’s shop. That’s how we met.”

Will’s tension melted a little at that. Nigel rescued a dog, Lee owned a Dog Wash, that much he knew. “Kind of you. I have a lot of rescue dogs myself.” Will stood, watching the pair through the lenses of his glasses, a careful barrier between him and them. “I asked my father what he knew about you, Lee. He said nothing. My mother, the woman who carried us anyway, was paid by Mrs. Fallon to do so. My mother never told Mrs. Fallon it was twins, and kept me for herself.”

“So, my parents never knew about you,” Lee mused, thoughtfully.

Will shook his head. “I doubt it. Who knows if they would have come looking for me if they did. They’re dead, right?”

Lee nodded. “A few years ago. Car accident.”

“Sorry…”

“I’m not,” Lee said shortly, even if he loved his parents, he hated them for how they rejected him at the end. 

“They were fucking idiots,” Nigel declared, darkly, disgusted with how they’d treated their son. America was the fucking land of the free … supposedly. Lee deserved better than that. 

“I guess we both were lacking in terms of family,” Will said, and took a step back. He got what he wanted to see, and maybe they’d be in touch. “I’ll go and let them take what they need now. Thank you for the trip here and back, please keep the money. I would never ask for a dime to help my… brother.”

“We can afford the fucking money,” Nigel insisted, puzzled at Will’s insistence as the quieter twin seemed ready to take his leave of Lee already.

Will was smart enough to know that time wasn’t really on their side and he wanted to get things moving along for Lee. When his twin was better, maybe he’d make another effort to be social. Right now it was a little overwhelming to feed off of both Lee and Nigel, he hadn’t been sure what to expect, and honestly, being in the profession he was, being around Nigel wasn’t a good idea.

“I realize you can, but it’s the principle of the matter. Lee is family. I won’t take your money.”

Nigel nodded, with an admiring look, and spread his hand, as though to say he accepted that, then ran his other hand over the back of Lee’s sparse hair. “Alright. Thanks doesn’t fucking cover it but … thanks,” he sighed. He’d send a dog to this guy’s place, since he liked dogs. A nice one. 

“Get well, if I don’t see you soon,” Will said, and touched his brother’s foot, and walked out, the nurses leading him away to start the transplant.

Lee looked up at Nigel. “He doesn’t want the money.”

“We’ll send him a fucking dog, something with some personality,” Nigel smiled, and leaned down to kiss Lee on the lips, softly. 

“Thank you for tracking him down,” Lee whispered against Nigel’s mouth, tugging him closer, down over him on the bed.

Nigel leaned down, and kissed Lee’s lips slowly, with a hum that seemed to grow from deep within his chest. He sucked Lee’s lower lip, softly, and nuzzled their noses together. “Told you, I’d find a match.”

“I never doubted you,” Lee hummed back, fingers tightly but lovingly in the front of Nigel’s shirt, keeping him hovered over Lee.

Nigel rubbed his big, warm hand over Lee’s chest, and kissed him again. “I fucking love you. I’d find a fucking needle in a haystack of seven billion fucking people for you.”

A future was finally looking realistic now that they had Will to help. Lee was grateful, and he was even more grateful that Nigel never once took pity on him, but instead helped the ways he knew how to. “I love you.”

“So, he donates the bone marrow, they give it to you, right?” Nigel asked, after another kiss.

“I think so?” Lee laughed and wrapped his arm around Nigel’s shoulder to pull him down closer. “We can ask again.”

“All I know is it’s supposed to make your immune system better … or something. I read about it,” Nigel said, with a smile. 

“Sounds good to me.” Lee scooted over a little, not as much room now as there was before, as Lee was slowly putting on weight again, able to keep food down periodically.

Nigel sat on the bed, and kissed the sharp angle of Lee’s jaw. “You look better than you did a week ago,” Nigel murmured, admiringly.

“Something’s working,” Lee said, pulling Nigel down to sit with him.

“You’re on the right drugs,” Nigel smirked, and wrapped one thick arm around Lee’s shoulders, stroking Lee’s collarbone with his fingertips, idly.

“And soon to get even better,” Lee whispered, head back against Nigel’s shoulder as he gazed up at him, blue eyes no longer too hazy or had that look of dying in them, but bright now, almost the color of the sea, the color Will’s were.

“Italy, fucking soon. Wine, sun, fucking …” Nigel grinned, his crooked teeth glinting when he smiled without any restraint.

“We’re half way through this,” Lee whispered, and kissed Nigel’s jaw, and touched his little fang like teeth, with a laugh.

Nigel closed his mouth, aware of his crooked teeth. He even blushed a little at the touch. “You like all the fucked up things about me…”

“I love everything about you.” Lee brushed his frail fingers over Nigel’s lips softly. “I mean that.”

“Even what I do for a living, huh?” Nigel asked, with a crooked little smirk on his lips, his voice soft and deep as he drew closer. 

“The less I know, the less I can care, right?” Lee asked with a smirk, and pulled Nigel down for a kiss.

Nigel kissed Lee a little more deeply, more in love with him than ever now, no matter what Lee looked like. Nigel had never known love like this before, not with Gabi, not with anyone. He’d been a romantic but never really loved until Lee.

Lee had flings, not relationships, until he met Nigel, who sucked him into his orbit so fast, he was still reeling, trying to figure out how he got there. He palmed up and under Nigel’s shirt, to his heart as his tongue swirled around Nigel’s.

“Hmmm,” Nigel purred, and crawled into the bed with Lee, straddling his thin lap, careful to keep his weight off of Lee as they kissed. It had been some time since they’d been able to kiss for this long without Lee becoming short of breath.

“Nigel…” Lee moaned, whispered against his mouth, fingers in his chest hair, feeling out his well muscled chest. “Missed this.”

“Missed this too,” Nigel whispered. They still could not do much more than this, but at least Lee was not struggling to take gasps of air through a mask now. 

The connection was all Lee really wanted after being unable to get more than just a peck on the lips or cheek. He bit Nigel’s lips and sucked on it, thumbs brushing over his nipples. “Soon.”

“Soon, we’re half way done, baby, right? Next half is all downhill,” Nigel murmured, between slow kisses, his heart starting to pound in his throat as they made out, carefully.

Lee slid his palm down Nigel’s chest, to his hips and slowly palmed his the front of his thin pants as he gazed up into his eyes. “Right.”

Nigel gasped softly at the touch, his half-hard cock going fully erect. He hadn’t so much as touched himself in over a month, too busy trying to sleep when Lee slept, trying to make sure everything went smoothly, a fuck up could kill Lee… His body reacted like he’d never been touched before, throbbing all over. “Fuck … “

The least Lee could do was show his appreciation, even if he didn’t do anything himself, knowing he’d get too worked up for that. He undid the tie on Nigel’s pants and then shoved his hand in to stroke him, thumbing the tip. “Fuck, I love your cock.”

Nigel was flushed under the white, v-necked scrub shirt he wore. His eyes went dark, and he kissed Lee again, harder than before as he rocked his hips into Lee’s hand. “Fuck … haven’t even … Jesus Christ, baby, it’s like I forgot this fucking existed,” he chuckled.

“Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t,” Lee whispered, seductively, and started to work Nigel over harder, faster.

Nigel’s hands shook with lust, and he had to bite his own lip to stop himself from biting Lee’s thin skin. He gripped the headboard behind Lee, staring at him as he rocked his hips, then pulled the white shirt off so that he was completely exposed, fucking Lee’s hand. “Lee-” he moaned, needier than he could ever remember being in his life.

“Come on, my bear,” Lee managed, worked up just watching his husband fuck his palm, gripping harder at the thought of tasting him. After all Nigel had done, Lee wanted to give him  _ something _ to hold him over.

Nigel didn’t need anything to hold him over. He didn’t expect Lee to keep him entertained sexually while Lee was fighting for his life, he didn’t expect Lee to owe him, he wanted Lee to  _ live _ . It was a nice surprise, but it was just that, a surprise, a way for Nigel to feel that Lee still had desire burning inside him. It was hopeful. “Fuck … fuck, baby, I’m -” he whispered, their faces together, voice rough as he felt his lower back burn. Quickly, like lightning striking, the burning turned into bliss, and Nigel closed his eyes as he came in Lee’s hand, thick and hot.

Lee kissed Nigel’s panting mouth as he came, and pumped him harder, faster, until the throbbing stopped, and then he licked Nigel’s come off his palm and fingers, gazing up at him with vivid blue eyes. Truth was, he  _ loved _ doing these things to Nigel, especially now that he could.

Nigel had slumped down over Lee’s chest, panting, and looked up at him through ashy, messy hair before he kissed his lips again, slowly, winding their tongues together before he parted their lips. “Fuck…”

Lee shared the taste of Nigel on his tongue with him, and then coiled his arm around his neck, keeping him close. Any intimacy was good at this point, it helped Lee feel less isolated and sick. “Soon.”

“Soon,” Nigel whispered back, and nuzzled the side of Lee’s neck, then breathed against his ear as he shifted closer. “When you’re well enough, we’ll make up for lost time, trust me…”

“I plan on never leaving our Italian villa,” Lee whispered, breathing a little harder, he’d gotten worked up despite not trying to.

“No?” Nigel asked, softly, and laid one hand over Lee’s chest, trying to calm him. “Just going to parade around fucking naked with me all day?”

“Yes,” Lee chuckled, and coughed a little, but it wasn’ nothing like it used to be. “All day. Until we have to leave for food…”

“That’s what fucking delivery is for. You want your oxygen for a minute?” Nigel asked, already reaching for the mask as he pulled his pants up around his waist.

Lee nodded his head and took the mask, a reminder that he wasn’t quite out of the clear yet. “What kind of delivery do they have?”

Nigel helped him put it on, and turned on the airflow, as good at is as the nurses were by now. “Pasta, pizza, whatever you want. For enough cash, someone will bring it to you, no different in Italy. Maybe we’ll get a fucking cook. A blind cook who can’t see us fucking on every surface.”

Lee laughed into the mask,shaking his head. “Oh? How will he cook blind?” he asked, amused with his husband, and palmed down his sweaty, hairy chest lovingly, longingly.

“Talented, but blind and deaf,” Nigel smirked, and kissed Lee’s forehead as the oxygen flowed into Lee’s lungs. “Helen Fucking Keller of the kitchen.”

“I’ll start looking now so we don’t waste any time later.” Lee breathed in deeply, feeling better by the second. Soon, after all Will would give, this would be a thing of the past… for a while.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Nigel purred, and kissed the side of Lee’s neck, then his collarbone, and looked up at him. “Hungry?”

“Definitely, any cake left?” Lee asked, hopeful.

Once in a while, Nigel would go out and find Lee’s favourite cake in Germany: Black Forest. “Yeah, a piece, sure,” he purred, and got up with a kiss to go get a piece for Lee. He came back with it, on a plate, with two forks. Lee couldn’t finish a piece, so they usually shared.

“Good,” Lee said, watching Nigel sit back down and grabbed one of the forks.

Nigel sat next to Lee, and balanced the plate on Lee’s lap, arm around him as he let Lee eat first. “So how long does it fucking take to get bone marrow or whatever they’re doing?”

“I don’t know. Depends on the procedure I guess…” Lee said as he forked a bite and then shoved it into his mouth with a little hum, letting the decadent flavors mingle in his mouth. “This would be amazing with some port.”

“Soon,” Nigel chuckled, and kissed Lee’s temple. “What the fuck is port?”

“Remember that sweet wine I gave you at the bar? In the tiny glasses?” Lee said with a little tease in his tone, smiling at Nigel as he fed him a bite of the cake.

“Yeah, that was port?” Nigel asked, with a tilt of his head.

Lee hummed his reply as he took another bite. “Some are fortified with brandy, some aren’t.”

“It was good, I liked everything you gave me to drink,” Nigel smirked, watching Lee as he ate.

“You liked it because I gave it to you, never because you would have liked it otherwise,” Lee laughed, and offered Nigel another bite. “When we’re out of here, we’re getting lots of cake and port.”

“We’ll get anything you fucking want,” Nigel assured Lee. “Anything.”

“So you’ve said,” Lee mused, and took one last bite before handing it off to Nigel. Too rich now, he didn’t want to over do it.

Nigel took over, eating as he usually did, in big bites. The cake was finished in no time, and Beauty licked off the plate. “I’m going to get fucking fat,” Nigel laughed.

Lee reached over and patted  Nigel’s belly. “We can run it off together when I’m out of here.”

Nigel stretched out, and let Lee pat his belly. “My lungs might be able to fucking handle it now.”

“They’ll have been smoke free for three months by then,” Lee agreed, and gave Nigel a look. “Unless you’ve been sneaking a smoke when you go out…”

“I only did that fucking once, when we first got here, and it was like … half a fucking cigarette,” Nigel assured Lee.

Lee laughed, shaking his head. “Once. Okay. You’re sure?” He grinned at his husband and leaned in against him, wrapping his arm around his belly.

“Yeah, when we first got here. I was stressed as fuck,” Nigel shrugged, and laughed at Lee snuggling his belly.

“And you’re not stressed now?” Lee would love to guide Nigel through meditation, but he knew the gruff, older man wouldn’t hear of it.

“Not as much, you’re looking better,” Nigel murmured, happily, and kissed Lee’s cheek.

“And hopefully about to be even better.” Lee leaned his scruffy cheek into Nigel’s lips, accepting the soft kiss there, as delicate as it was.

***

A few days later, before leaving, Will dropped in to bid his farewell to his brother and husband, and was off. He left his address and phone number and the place of work he’d been taking up very soon. Lee had a feeling his brother might  hope they never meet again, seeing how unsocial he seemed to be. Once Will was gone, the doctors approached them about what would happen next with the marrow and stem cells.

“We’ve extracted the stem cells from your brother’s hip, and frozen them. We’ll do your first infusion today,” Dr. Rees told Lee. “How do you feel?”

“Better than when I started,” Lee answered with a bright grin, color in his skin, a lightness in his eyes.

“You look much, much better than when you started,” she agreed, and sat down in a chair, near Lee and Nigel. “I think this is a good time to share that your tumors have shown dramatic improvement on your last MRI, but I’m sure you can feel that. This stem cell therapy will, in essence, give you a new immune system since your own has been depleted nearly to nothing by your chemotherapy. It is also going to allow your new immune system to attack the cancer cells, and hopefully to reduce them even more.”

“Brand new immune system. Who could ask for more?” Lee grinned, brows raised up optimistically, and squeezed Nigel’s hand where it lay against this thigh. 

“Of course, after the infusion, it will take some time before you see your immunity kick in, so to speak. There are several adjustments your body needs to make before your bone marrow can start to produce white blood cells again, which is very generally what your immune system should do. It will take ten days to a few weeks for that to happen. Until then, we’re going to be very, very, very careful about protecting you from germs, as we have been from the beginning. We’re also going to give you some drugs that will encourage the process to speed up a little. This is the time that you will be the most vulnerable to infection, so even though you feel better than when you first came here, we have to remain vigilant, keep your nutrition up, and make sure you have plenty of rest.”

“Better diet. No kissing my husband,” Lee teased as he looked over at Nigel, though he knew there might be something to that. “He… can’t leave and come as he wants can he?”

“Well, this is why I wanted to talk with you before we begin the transplant. To be certain you are not exposed to anything that could infect and kill you, we recommend that if your husband wishes to stay with you, he is quarantined to the ward, just as you are. It will be until you can produce white blood cells, it could be weeks,” she warned.   
  
“I’ll stay,” Nigel said, immediately.

Lee looked over at Nigel, and then back at the doctor. “And… the dog? Beauty?”

“It would be best if she could stay elsewhere. Is there anyone you know who could take her for a few weeks? Particularly with her needing to go out for her bathrooming, she could bring in organisms that are harmless for others but might be deadly for you. I’m very sorry, we all enjoy having her here.”

Lee gave his husband a glance. “Is Will out of the country yet or just waiting at the airport?” That was their only hope right now, honestly.

Nigel picked up his phone with a sigh, and phoned Will, hoping he would pick up as he rubbed Beauty’s head, sadly. He’d become attached to her, more than he ever thought he would, it was only a few weeks but … 

Lee watched Nigel and touched his shoulder. “You could take her and go home. I’ll be fine. I’ve been fine by myself for almost thirteen years….”  Nigel shook his head at the thought, and waited for Lee’s brother to pick up his phone. “No,” he said, stubbornly.

They could argue it, but Lee knew better by now as they lived together in this small room for nearly two months already. On the other end, Will picked up. “Did you forget to tell me something?”

“We’re not allowed to have Beauty in here while Lee builds his immune system, or what the fuck ever,” Nigel sighed, petting Beauty sadly as he looked at her big, dark eyes. “Might be for a few weeks, and I’m sure as fuck not going to dump her off at some shelter, or get some fucking stranger to watch her. She liked you. I’ll pay you to watch her,” he offered.

Silence on the other end, as though Will were considering it. “I can't stay, but I can take her back with me.”

“Okay,” Nigel said after a moment, and petted Beauty’s back, his heart breaking a little.  It was only temporary, he told himself. A few weeks. “Okay. If you come back here, we’ll get her ready.”

Will paused to talk to the man that worked for Nigel and told him to turn back. “We’ll be there soon.” Will hung up.

Nigel hung up, and petted Beauty a few times. “He can take her home for a few weeks.”

“That’s good,” Lee said, watching Nigel, though he knew no matter what he said, Nigel would never leave to be with Beauty.

“She’ll be fucking happy there, lots of room, other dogs,” Nigel said as he petted Beauty.

“And well taken care of, outside a lot,” Lee agreed, softly, touching Nigel’s arm, and then looked at the doctor.

“It will not be for long,” the Doctor assured them, and stood. “We will have your first treatment ready to go in about one hour, Lee. This will be day zero of your stem cell transplant, day one hundred will be the day we look at your progress.”

Lee furrowed his brow. “Another three months?”

“You will likely not be in here the entire time,” she assured them. “We will keep you until you are eating normally, show no signs of infection, and your white blood cell count is normal.”

Lee nodded, slowly, “Got it. Just wondering.”

“Any other questions?” she asked the couple.

Lee looked to Nigel, but shook his head himself. They would take this day by day.

“Then I will see you in an hour or so,” she said, and let herself out, quietly, to de-gown.

Nigel looked up at Lee, still petting Beauty. “She’ll be okay.”

“She will be,” Lee reassured his husband. “Will has a lot of dogs, I think she’ll never even notice we’re gone with how much fun she’s going to have.”

“Hopefully,” Nigel said, and scratched behind Beauty’s ears.

Lee leaned and kissed Nigel’s jaw. “I promise she will be okay. If you’re worried, you can go, I really don’t mind.”

“And just fucking leave you here while you have fucking cancer?” Nigel asked, giving Lee a look for the suggestion.

“I’m just offering,” Lee said with a shrug. “Maybe we can set something up via skype?”

“Maybe,” Nigel murmured, and kissed the top of Beauty’s head. This was harder than he thought it would be. He’d never had an actual pet before.

“Nigel…” Lee sighed, almost to the point that he would kick his own husband out to go be with the dog.

“Just going to fucking miss her,” Nigel said, and helped her up onto the bed to say

goodbye to Lee.

Lee wrapped his arms around the dog, and nuzzled her fur. “I’m going to give her the best grooming when we get back…”

Beauty laid down and licked Lee’s chin happily. Her tail wagged so hard that it acted like a fan and blew air against a paper cup, knocking it over.

“Yeah, bows and everything?” Nigel teased, as he took a photo of Lee and Beauty like that.

“Bows and everything,” Lee said with a swallow.

Beauty laid beside Lee, head on his chest, happiest when she could cuddle him like this, and looked up at him with huge, dark eyes. Lee frowned; this was why he hated attachments. He scratched behind her ears. “There’s just no way we can keep her without risking everything…”

“It’s only a few fucking weeks,” Nigel sighed, and pet Beauty’s back with both large hands.

“Could be a month or so,” Lee sighed, nuzzling her some more, now with both arms around her. She’d been so patient with him when he’d gotten sick, so protective.

“She’ll be happy to see us when you’re better,” Nigel murmured, and kissed the dog’s head again, for which she licked the stubble on his chin.

A knock at the door came, and Will was ushered back in, all clean. Nigel’s driver had been very quick, maybe  _ too _ quick. He smiled but averted his eyes from their little moment. “I can, uh… take lots of pictures for you, if you wanted.”

“We were hoping you might agree to facetime or skype… whichever you might prefer,” Lee said, quietly as Beauty licked his face.

“Uhm…” Will frowned, not sure what either of those things were.

“You know, with the video?” Nigel asked, nodding to his phone where it sat on the night stand.

“Oh,” Will said.

“The guy who brought you can show you,” Nigel said, and helped Beauty off the bed with a sigh, then showed her that Will was here. Beauty wagged, and hurried over to him to greet him with bright eyes.

Will kneeled down to pet her. “Hey girl.” He gave her a long pet, and let her lick his face, obviously as fond of him as she was Lee or Nigel.

Nigel sighed through his nose, and brought Will Beauty’s leash, handing it over. “She fucking loves tennis balls. Just make sure she’s got lots of them. She doesn’t want to chase them, just likes having one to chew,” he mumbled.

“We’ve got lots at home,” Will said with a smile, mostly at the dog, not the other two. He took the leash. “She’ll be in good hands. I… I’ll promise to figure out… Faceskype.”

“Good enough,” Nigel sighed, and licked his lips before he went to Beauty to pet her again. “See you later, girl. Be good,” he said, softly, then straightened.

“I will take excellent care of her,” Will promised and walked  her out. “Ready to go to my place? Meet some other dogs?” He kept talking, voice fading as he left.

Lee sighed; “I feel guilty.”

Nigel shut the door, and swallowed over a lump in his throat over a dog of all things, before he went back to Lee and sat on the bed. “It’s fucking temporary. We’ll pick her up when you’re out of here. She’ll be happy.”

“Maybe we just go back home,” Lee suggested, forgetting about Italy altogether.

“What? You need the stem cells, they have to fucking watch you for a while,” Nigel said, with a frown.

“How else would we get her back?” Lee asked, shrugging a little. “Waste of time to fly there and back again.”

“I’ll fly there and back to get her when you’re better,” Nigel said, “I found her, I’m not just going to fucking leave her with someone else permanently.”

“And you try to tell me you’re not a good person.” Lee grinned over at Nigel. “I beg to differ.”

Nigel rolled his eyes at that and colored a little as someone knocked on their door, and the doctor returned with a nurse who carried equipment. “If you’re ready to start, Mr. Fallon, we can begin now,” she said with a smile at the couple. This was a moment long in the making, just getting Lee to this point alive had been difficult.

Lee nodded; nothing to lose now. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

The nurse went to Lee’s side and began to hook up a bag of what looked like yellow plasma to a hook with a bag of saline, and attached both to Lee’s iv lock as the doctor spoke. “Very good, this is a big day, Mr. Fallon. Not everyone in the study made it to this point, I’m very glad you did.”

Lee knew he barely made it to this point, but here he was, a month in, already living longer than his first doctor said he would. “I’m very appreciative to have been taken on.”

“Your finding a twin was nothing short of a miracle, and I’m not one to use that word,” the doctor laughed, “you are, no doubt the luckiest man I’ve ever heard of.”

“He knows,” Nigel smirked, one hand on Lee’s shoulder.

If not for Nigel, Lee knew he’d have just stayed at home and let himself die, ride out what he thought was his inevitable future. He reached up and laid his hand over Nigel’s, and smiled up at him. “I do.”

The nurse started the infusion, which ran into Lee’s arm, and the doctor wrote it down on Lee’s chart. “Congrations, Mr. Fallon, you have begun phase two. There will be some side effects as your body accepts the cells, mostly extreme fatigue, and a general feeling of malaise, but that is likely going to be unremarkable given what you have felt during your chemotherapy treatment.”

“I think I can handle that,” Lee chuckled, glad that that would be all he felt, and nothing worse.

“We’ll be back to check on your temperature and how you are feeling frequently, but the infusion will take approximately an hour. If all goes well, your nurses will be with you and I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Fallon.”


	14. Chapter 14

Stem cell therapy stretched on for three weeks. After a week of exhaustion, Lee began to improve, rapidly, until finally, on day twenty-one of his new lease on life, he was declared healthy enough to be discharged from the hospital, so long as he returned for regular checkups and monitored his health, carefully.    
  
They had almost nothing to pack, only the clothes Nigel wore in, things Beauty left behind, and what Lee wore to the treatment. Putting on their outside clothing was strange after so long in hospital gowns and scrubs. Nigel pulled his shirt on, and smoothed it down, then looked back at Lee as he dressed. “They fit you better now,” he smiled, watching his husband pull his pants on. 

“I’ve been able to eat without barfing for a while now,” Lee retorted, sliding into his jeans and his sweater, his favorite one.

“I know,” Nigel smirked, and walked up behind Lee as he dressed to pull the sweater down for him, then kissed his neck, and the hinge of his jaw before he nibbled at his ear. “I got you something to eat at the hotel,” Nigel whispered, with a grin. He was quietly bubbling inside with joy at leaving with his husband. There were times, many of them, that he wasn’t sure they would get to leave together. This was the best day of his fucking life. 

Lee grinned broadly, and leaned back against Nigel, more solid himself as they days went on. “Did you? When did you do that?” Lee got a second chance and more time with Nigel. Remission for now, and hopefully forever.

“While you were sleeping,” Nigel whispered, and rubbed his hands over Lee’s chest, then took his hand, and led him to the door, a bag over his shoulder. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Lee said, not at all sorry to see this place for the last time, at least for now. He let Nigel lead him out, past all the nurses and other staff. He waved his goodbye, and then they were outside.

The nurses waved, some of them applauded, and Nigel smiled crookedly as he led Lee out to a waiting car, which he let Lee into first, then got in the driver’s side and started it up. “Fuck, it feels good to be out of there, doesn’t it?” he sighed, and looked out the windows before he started to drive them away from the clinic, toward their hotel room.

“Yes. I’m grateful to them, but I  _ needed _ to get out of there,” Lee laughed, no sign of wheezing or coughing to be heard when he did.

“No fucking kidding,” Nigel smiled, and squeezed Lee’s hand in his own as they drove. He couldn’t stop grinning. “Welcome to Berlin,” he said, as they looked at the city around them while Nigel navigated through the traffic, smooth and fast. “You didn’t really get to see it when you came here.”

“I didn’t. I’m just glad to get the chance at all,” Lee mused, watching the streets and buildings, the people.

“It’s a nice city, clean as fuck,” Nigel said, and looked around. “We’ve done good business here,” he mentioned, and pulled up to an old, large, historic looking stone hotel where doormen stood ready to help. “Here we are, baby. Ready for a real fucking bed?”

Lee just raised a brow but let the comment go, he would not let himself be curious. He looked at the building with a faint smirk. “You mean we’re not sleeping on the ground?” he teased.

“Would you rather?” Nigel asked as he parked, and got out with the bag to give the keys to a valet, then went around to take Lee’s hand and walk him into the fancy building. Lee deserved to stay somewhere fucking nice, it was his first day of being out, and Nigel wanted him to enjoy it. He walked Lee to an elevator that opened at the tap of a key card, and stepped in with him. “Top floor. Nothing but the fucking best for you,” Nigel purred, and kissed Lee as the doors closed.

“First you get me the best treatment in the world and now you’re spoiling me?” Lee laughed, but he felt giddy, and pulled Nigel in for a long kiss, arms around his neck.

“What’s the point of being fucking alive after all that if you don’t get to fucking enjoy it?” Nigel whispered, against Lee’s lips as the elevator rose up.

“True,” Lee whispered back, gazing at Nigel up close. It was nice just to get to be with him like this again, not worried about germs as much, able to kiss when they wanted. He bit Nigel’s lip softly, and sucked it between his teeth. “I have missed this.”

“Fuck, I missed it too, baby,” Nigel whispered, between kisses, and held the last kiss until the doors opened at the top. A bark interrupted them, and then a wet nose at Lee’s hand as Beauty charged into the private elevator from the huge suite where she had been waiting.

Lee  burst out laughing against Nigel’s mouth and pulled away to pet Beauty. “How did you get here? Hm?” He let the dog lead them out into the giant hotel suite.

“She fucking flew here,” Nigel smiled, and watched Lee follow Beauty into the suite as he walked after him. Beauty had gained weight, and smoothed out under Will’s care. She looked healthy, but was jumping up and down whimpering with happiness to see Lee and Nigel again. She licked Lee’s hands, then went to Nigel and hugged him, then kept going back and forth between them.

“She missed us,” Lee said, getting down on the floor to her height, to let her come over and sniff and lick. “Well taken care of, too.”

“We missed her too,” Nigel said, as he got on his knees to pet Beauty, who was absolutely beside herself with happiness, and rolled on the ground, belly up, panting and wagging as Nigel rubbed her tummy with both hands.

Lee got down on his own stomach and scratched under her chin. “She’s such a ham.”

“Nah, she’s just fucking happy. She missed you,” Nigel chuckled. Beauty licked Lee’s neck, his hands, everything she could reach. “Okay, okay, you’re still a little bit sick, maybe no face kisses for now…”

Lee laughed and sat up, and then got to his feet, slowly. “I am starved for anything that isn’t hospital food,” he stated, but kept his foot near Beauty as she rolled around at his feet.

“Good,” Nigel said, and nodded over at the little bar in the room, on which sat a bakery box. Nigel sauntered over, picked it up, and brought the box back to Lee, then opened it. Inside was a Basque cake. “Is this the right fucking cake?”

“Oh my-” Lee laughed and held his hands over his mouth.

“Found a French baker in the city,” Nigel said, and smiled at Lee. “It’s a  _ cake _ , baby, I’m not proposing again…”

“But you remembered my weird, sick babbling,” Lee explained, even more giddy now as he took the box and set it down and pulled the cake out. “It’s almost too nice to cut into…”

“Of course I fucking remembered, my husband was fucking dying and those could have been his last words. I’ll remember fucking Basque cake forever,” Nigel said, and helped Lee pull the cake out, then brought it to the dining table, and brought plates and forks with a knife from the glossy bar, handing the knife to Lee. 

Lee grinned madly at Nigel and took the knife, cutting a large piece for them both, and then set them on the plates. He handed one to Nigel. “Well, I hope you like it.” He cut into his piece and popped the bite into his mouth, savoring it with a little hum.

Nigel fucking loved that smile on Lee. He slept in a hospital room in quarantine for about a month just to see it again. His heart skipped under his leather jacket when Lee beamed at him like that, and Nigel cut into a piece, then stuffed it in his mouth. “Mmm,” he nodded, “not fucking bad.”

“You should have had my mother’s version…” Lee murmured around another bite. “But this…  _ this _ is really close.”

“We’ll have to find a perfect version, maybe we’ll have to try more,” Nigel smiled, as he ate, his dark eyes shining at Lee. “But for now … this is our wedding cake, just a few months late.”

“I love it,” Lee said and leaned over to kiss Nigel’s lips softly. “Almost as much as I love you.”

Nigel leaned over, and cupped the back of Lee’s head to kiss him slowly, the way he couldn’t when Lee was too sick, and only let their lips part when they were both dizzy. “Especially everything that’s fucked up about me?” Nigel chuckled, thinking of how Lee loved his crooked teeth, his belly, everything Nigel thought no one would actually like, and told himself he didn’t care about.

“Everything,” Lee whispered, leaving his plate of cake and walking into Nigel’s arms, sliding his hands up his chest and resting them there so he could feel his heartbeat.

“Good, because you’re fucking stuck with me. Until death do us part, baby,” Nigel whispered, against Lee’s lips, as they rested their foreheads together.

Lee smiled, blue gaze locked on to Nigel’s amber one.“‘Til death do us part.”

 


End file.
